My days were packed per usual, and my sanity was running thin without seeing my dear friends. With Raphael, Cybele, and Finn gone, I found my hand-to-hand combat and archery lessons boring, practically feeling my mental endurance dwindle down a little further each day.

Gabriel and Samaria were both on different training schedules, their free time completely different from my own. I only saw them during meals if I wasn't pulled away by Secta to fit in more classes of our own. We'd spent time in the Sanctuary as well during breakfast or lunch, praying or meditating.

It was a soothing practice even though Secta's presence didn't help me sink into a state of zen as easily. He still intimidated me, that threat of extinction still hovering in the air. I knew even now he hadn't forgotten his promise and that he'd act on his words without hesitation. I knew him well enough by now not to test him.

When I wasn't training with him or eating, I was sleeping as long as I could. My sleep schedule had fallen to pieces as sleep itself was escaping me. I was nervous and worried, rolling back and forth in my blankets thinking of them, of him.

Where were they? Were they safe? Was he safe? How was he feeling? Did he know how much I cared about him? How much I missed him? How much I loved him?

My emotions had finally revealed themselves to me in full and I wasn't afraid to finally label this grueling fire inside my chest: love.

It hadn't taken long for it to develop, to grow for Finn until I couldn't deny it or contain it any longer. Like my meraki, it demanded attention, to be felt and to scorch me without mercy until I gave it what it wanted. So there it was, an all-powerful love for my Guardian that seized control of me with the power of a tempest.

And I let it sink me and all my defenses.

I couldn't help but think of him now as I sat on that familiar tree branch with my head rested against the trunk, slowly biting into an apple. This was the tree he'd taken me to a long time ago when I'd been so upset after one of my first meetings with Secta, when he'd told me he knew that I was good with no risk of turning evil.

He'd believed in me then, and Finn had been open with me, kind to me when I needed someone. How had I been so foolish as to overwrite him entirely? How had I not seen that maybe he'd be better for me if he was more than just my friend?

Shaking my head, I couldn't help but smile at the memory. I'd been so foolish, a true idiot. Things had played out well for us later, but I'd been blind to all his qualities then: his sweetness, compassion, and his ability to listen and comfort me well.

My Finnigan Shay.

Resting now in this tree, his special spot, I tried to soak up his essence as though me sitting in his usually place would bring him back to me in a sense. If I sat long enough, perhaps the warmth of his smiles would fill me up, his signature scent suddenly filling my lungs again.

But I knew that it wouldn't work that way. No trace of him was here as distinctly as I wanted it to be. I couldn't break into his room either; too many people would risk seeing me hovering around.

My chest constricted, a pain in my chest as I rested my chin in my hands. Drawing my knees up against my body, I took a breath and closed my eyes. Get a grip, Kate. Get a grip.

An idea exploded inside my head, making me shoot up in surprise as excitement and hope pooled into me. I'd visited Matilda when I'd been worried about her before, some power sending me there just as I'd been sent to the Hall of Serpents once before and that veiled cave as well.

I could get to Finn in some form from here. I'd see if he and the others were safe.

But, how had I done it before?

"Excuse me?" A voice, foreign and masculine, emulated from in front of me, my head whipping up to meet a pair of jade eyes.

I recognized the man at once, stiffening. "Yes?"

It was him, the new guardian I'd seen before. Samaria had warned me about him, one flipped switch from psycho as she'd put it to me later. He was even taller and bigger than I'd remembered before as he stopped in front of me. His face was softer than I recalled from before as he looked down at me. "Is this the entrance to the trailhead? Deneris told me I could go for a walk, but I might have gotten myself lost."

Nodding, I pointed back around the tree bend. "It's a little hidden under the foliage, but the actual trailhead is a little bit that way, on your left until you get to that tree with white flowers. You should find it then."

"Thank you." He nodded, even giving me a small smile as he turned to walk away. He stopped, pausing as he shifted his weight as though he were unsure of himself. Yet, he finally decided to turn back around. "If I may ask, what's your name? You're different than all the others. You don't have wings. I apologize if I'm intruding; I guess I'm just curious and this is all so new for me."

I returned his smile, understanding rising inside me. I remembered the lost feeling I'd had when I first arrived at Gabrian, all the confusion and worry that had spun inside me for so long. "My name's Kate Stratton. Yes, I'm a little different I guess. No wings for me."

"It's nice to meet you, Kate. I'm Rufus." He glanced down at his feet shyly before looking back up at me. "I'm sorry if I came off as rude before. I remember seeing your face when I was being introduced to the facility. I guess I was a little dazed, confused even by everything I was seeing."

"It's fine, really. I was just as confused." I laughed, "it's all very daunting really, and you just feel quite small. Actually, you probably don't feel that way ever."

Rufus managed to chuckle, "I don't usually feel small as you guessed, but coming here... coming back. I guess I realized how small I am in comparison to everything, to Fate and her power. It amazes me really, and I'm just hoping to adjust back into the flow of things, enjoy being young again."

I tilted my head, "I think you'll enjoy being here greatly. The people are wonderful, the grounds are beautiful, and the food is excellent. You'll get to help others too, which is a very noble task to take on."

He nodded, gazing at the woods around us. "It's something I felt I could do, bring a little more good into the world I suppose.  They told me I'd be joining in lessons with instructors who'd teach me about flying and combat. What's it like?" His green eyes met mine, a certain quality of bashfulness in his features. "I'm nervous about it."

"I won't lie. It isn't a piece of cake, but the instructors have their best intentions at heart and the people you train with will be good to you." I replied, "it kicked my ass when I was getting into shape but it makes you stronger than you thought you could be. You'll do great, trust me. Don't let any of the instructor's intensity thwart your efforts."

Rufus nodded with eagerness nearly blooming on delight. "Thank you for your advice. I appreciate it because I hope I can truly do my best in my endeavors. Any instructors I need to watch out for?"

I stroked my thumb across my chin, licking my lips as I tried my best to give advice on the infamous Raphael. Imagining his displeased face was nearly enough to make me feel better already, his dark eyes rolling in aggravation with that dramatic flare he always had about him in his moodiness. "Guardian Raphael is a tough one, but I have a feeling he's soft on the inside. Do not ever tell him I said so. Pay very close attention to him in his classes and don't slack; he will notice."

The guardian laughed. "Thank you once again. Someone else mentioned another to me, that I needed to watch for him when he came back. Do you know him? I'm afraid that's all the information I have, just that he's not here, blonde, and quite intimidating."

Blonde and intimidating. I held back my smile. "You mean the Commander?"

Rufus shrugged, "maybe. I don't know. They have Commanders here?"

"Commander Finn is the one they're probably talking about. He's a tall blonde with blue eyes. He's not a walk in the park either if you're a slacker, but I'd say out of the two he's much more dedicated in trying to develop skills and help you learn from your mistakes. He's not easy but I've learned a lot from him."

If that wasn't the truth...

"Hm, Commander Finn and Guardian Raphael. I'll pay special attention to those two in my lessons. Neither will see me slacking I assure you." He smiled and I returned it with one of my own. "I appreciate your kindness and your honesty. You've been more open with me than most of the others, and I'm feeling much more comfortable with everything now."

"Of course." I nodded my head, "I understand what it's like not knowing anyone and feeling so out of place around here. If you need someone to talk to, I'm free to listen. I'm more available during mealtimes or in the evenings because of training; that'd be the best time to find me alone."

Rufus nodded his head, "I got it. If I need you, I'll try and find you then." He paused before licking his lips. "Well, I'm off to walk on the trailhead. There are still some first day nerves I guess. You said white flowers, correct?"

"Yep, white flowers to your left. You have nothing to be worried about, Rufus. You seem sincere and to have good intentions, and really that's all you need. That and being a hard worker, but you strike me as one. You'll do just fine and accomplish whatever you set your mind to."

"Your faith in me is too kind." He smiled, "enjoy the rest of your afternoon. Perhaps I will see you at dinner this evening. It's nice to know one face."

"I'll save you a seat at the table."

"Are you sure? That other girl you were with didn't seem to like me too much." He raised his eyebrows, "she was intimidating."

I laughed, "Samaria is usually a lot lighter than that. I can promise you that she is warm and welcoming, and she will be fine having you at dinner with us. You can meet Gabriel and a couple others as well who should make you feel right at home in no time."

"That sounds wonderful, really." Rufus slid his hands into his pockets, "I'll leave you be since I see now that I might have intruded on your time alone. Goodbye, Kate."

"Goodbye, Rufus. See you later!" I waved to him as he walked back through the branches, turning his head over his shoulder to wave back at me with a small smile.

I rested my back against the tree trunk once again, watching as his dark, mountainous figure disappeared around the foliage towards the trailhead. He seemed kind, very polite and friendly despite his first appearance.

But I guess he had just come back to life which wasn't a small feat or one that had to be easy to adapt to. Rufus was endearing, unsure about Gabrian and his place in the order. I understood him and his anxieties, and I hoped I could be the helping hand to him that Finn was to me.