"Kate,"Gabriel snapped his fingers in front of my face at the table, making me jump. "What's wrong with you? You've been spaced out this whole time."

I blinked, shaking my head as I took a bite of my waffles. "Nothing, sorry. I'm just tired." Taking a large sip of orange juice, I wiped my eyes. It wasn't a total lie; my head was spinning under fatigue's influence, the thought of returning to my room for extra sleep appearing as the most intriguing form of seduction.

Finn had gotten up very early to pack, to get ready for his flight out of Gabrian, and I'd gotten up with him from the pillow fort around his couch. I'd spent the early hours of the morning with him, helping to fold his clothes into his duffel bag.

We'd also done other things besides packing, things that made me blush. I'd kissed the daylights out of him before he left, and the ferocity of it even surprised me as much as it had Finn. I hoped he'd hold onto that kiss as long as I would. That kiss wasn't going anywhere; it would be with me for a long time.

As I chewed my food, that very moment continued to reply inside my head. The worry about the battle he would walk into was also tainting my focus, the fear of what he'd have to face mingled with my terror over his safety.

He'd kissed me back like the world depended on it, and I was only more afraid of losing him after feeling how tender his kisses were. I was in deep, I realized, now more than ever. If he didn't come back I was sure that I wouldn't be able to recover.

Finn was mine, the end of the line. He was the man who I'd marry and have children with, the pearl's image more bright and clear than ever. It made sense, beautiful and wild sense; head I clicked in a way I hadn't with any person in my life before him. We hadn't been together long, but already something was brewing inside me that wanted him and only him continually.

It made me worry as well that I wasn't afraid to be his wife, to commit to him so deeply. I wanted him even though I'd been scared last night, the desire for that sweet, private intimacy between us richer and appetizing.

I was starting to think that maybe the past needed to be let go so I could give myself to him in the present. My inner voice was telling me to dive in, to throw off my old inhibitions and fears of my newfound powers.

That was one of the scariest thoughts besides Finn never coming home: letting him have me fully. I was a goner after that moment, a complete goner. And I'd be very vulnerable.

The conflict was raging inside my head, a war between one side that wanted me to strip naked for him so that he could see me entirely in every way for who I was and the other side that was horrified to even dip a toe in the water, let alone think about removing the protective covering I had buckled down around my body as well as my heart.

I ground my teeth together; I wanted Finn for myself but I didn't want to open up. Life didn't work that way, and I had to choose eventually because both sides couldn't keep fighting forever.

"You don't look too good." Gabriel commented, pressing a hand to my forehead. I was drawn out of my thoughts entirely by the coolness of his palm. The way his fingers grazed the side of my cheek made me jump in surprise, my shock heightened when his gesture was paired with focused, earnest eyes.

Maybe Finn wasn't too far off about his intentions.

"I'm fine. Honestly." I replied, brushing his hand off me as I stood up. Holding my tray in my hands, I let out a breath. "I'm going practice."

I glanced at Samaria who had been unusually silent the entire meal. She gazed at me quietly, biting off a piece of bacon without a word. She didn't feel like questioning me today.

"You're going to be really early." Gabriel pointed out, giving me an odd look that screamed he could practically sense the oddity radiating from my skin. I only swallowed and turned around, listening to the echo of my footsteps against the floor. It was a steady, peaceful tempo, and I needed a little extra stability in the moment.

I disposed of my tray at the front counter before pushing my way outside through the double doors. I rested my hand on my chest, realizing how fast my heart was beating. The spring air was fresh, the sweet smell of newly bloomed flowers nearly overwhelming.

Birds chirped in a sing-song manner as though the day were like any other, except there was a gaping hole before me that one person in particular usually filled. Finn's face was in my head coupled with the grey, fuzzy silhouettes of my parents. They'd all gone off to war without me.

The sun beat down on my back as I walked along the gravel, my mind blank. My feet found their way down the path towards the training field as though I were on autopilot, sweat rising on the back of my neck as I imagined swords slashing and fires scorching towns, turning foundations into dust.

I paused at a collection of movement on the opposite slope, three figures moving down from Secta's home. They moved with precision, all coated in white by their thick wings. One moved a hair more awkwardly than the rest though still with clear grace.

Two of the guardians I recognized, Deneris and Riley, but the third was a man I'd never seen before. He was unusually tall and broad chested, creating a thickness that was more muscle than fat. He was a mountain of a man, short, dark hair covering his head as stubble dappled his chin. Scars marked his face, a roughness in his features and a wildness in his eyes that was one glitter away from madness. Who the hell was he?

I wanted to step forward to get a better look and maybe talk some too, but my intentions were halted in their tracks. Someone grabbed my shoulder, pulling me back off the gravel into the grass with rough force.

To my surprise, it was Samaria, her eyes dark and jaw clenched as she gripped me tight. Gabriel hovered beside her, glancing between the two of us and the approaching party of three as Samaria stared at the unknown man walking towards us with interest.

"Newbie." She whispered to me, her voice low and rough as her fingers kept a firm hold on me. She seemed to think that I'd run out in front of the congregation anyways.

"What do you mean?" I looked over my shoulder at her, raising an eyebrow. She still didn't look at me.

"He's only recently earned his wings. You can tell by the way he walks, like how he rocks on his heels. The weight is new for him." She squeezed my arm. "Stay away from him until he adjusts, Kate. Some tend to be a little crazy, coming back from the grave and all."

The three men approached us, Samaria stepping around me almost like a mother. The thought suprised me, making me feel odd since I wasn't too used to the feeling. Matilda had mothered me in a sense, but Samaria's stand had been different. I could barely see over her shoulder, her tallness blocking my sight. I caught a flash of Riley's hair and a flurry of wings, listening to the shuffling of shoes against gravel.

I stood up on my tiptoes for a moment, and it was just long enough to be able to see clearly through Samaria's hair. The unfamiliar man's eyes caught mine for a moment, his irises a deep green hue that made me stiffen. And the next moment he was gone, his back to me though his head seemed to move in a manner that suggested he wanted to look back.

His nostrils seemed to flare, and his jaw clenched. The man did whip his head around to look back at us, specifically me it seemed. I might have been wrong, but his cold eyes bore deeply into my own.

Samaria's eyebrows wrinkled together as she licked her lips, squaring up her shoulders as if ready for a challenge. I turned my head slightly to look at her in interest.

She responded only by patting my shoulder one last time before taking in a breath, the ferocity in her features dying away as a lightness and warmth replaced her ruthlessness . "Watch yourself." She warned me, her tone deeper than usual and much rougher. "He looks like one of the crazies."

With that she marched towards the training field before turning her head back to give me a wink as she continued. Her long, chocolate hair swung back and forth in its ponytail, highlighting the new muscle definition in her shoulders and back. Had she been working out more? Whatever she was doing, it was improving her strength greatly.

"What is up with her?" I glanced at Gabriel, who only struggled in response. He looked much calmer and more collected than she had, giving me a lackadaisical smile.

"She's been uptight recently, which is odd with her I guess. I think she's still messed up after Annie."

"Were they close?" I asked him, turning my head back down the hill as I watched Samaria's figure in the distance.

"Yeah, they were." He said, clearing his throat. "They butted heads a lot, but Annie was Sam's first mentor. Sam was Annie's first student too, so they cared about each other a lot. Those two were very close, but I think they drew apart more when Annie took on more lessons and Samaria started training under Commander Finn. I think it still stung a lot when... she died."

I felt a hollowness in my chest as I swallowed, guilt rising up inside my stomach. "I didn't know. Samaria didn't seem too... devastated."

"I was surprised she wasn't too choked up either, but I guess people handle grief differently. She probably has just upped her time in the gym and I think it's just making her a little more... intense, I guess? Focussed, maybe?" Gabriel nudged me before smiling again. "Let's tell her she's getting all serious and losing her wild side. Shit, she'd bounce back in nanoseconds."

We started to walk down the hill side by side, and whenever Gabriel wandered too close I'd put some distance between us. "What did she mean about that new guy just earning his wings?"

Gabriel replied, "Secta has some special tool or something up in his mansion that Fate gave him according to legend. It will connect him with purgatory, specifically with spirits who died heroic or honorable deaths. He can go there to talk to them and even recruit them to join the Guardian ranks. I'm not sure about all the specifics, but Fate brings them back with wings to serve in their second life."

Glancing up at him, I couldn't help but chuckle. "But you, you died too and came back? How do you not know the specifics?"

"I just remember being in a hazy place and seeing Secta's face. He talked to me and told me I could come back to save other people, to put some more good in the world. Then, I just remember being in a bed, watching rain against the windows and I was alive again." Gabriel cracked his knuckles, "I don't think Fate likes to give away all her secrets. No one else who I've talked to have been able to remember much about being dead either."

Kicking a stone with my foot, I looked at Gabriel, feeling a shyness creep up inside me. "You can answer if you want or not, but how did you die?"

He didn't even hesitate to reply, shoving his hands in his pockets, "my younger twin siblings got caught in the current of the river we used to swim in at home. I swam out and saved them with my raft before my head struck a rock. That's all I remember about it; I'm pretty sure I drowned."

I touched his arm, swallowing down the coldness lodged in my throat. "I'm so sorry."

Gabriel only shrugged, "I'm back alive now so it's alright. And I know my brother and sister are still alive somewhere. That's enough for me. More than enough."