I closed the door of Raphael's room in the hospital, his cursing and screaming still echoing into the hall after I yanked it shut. My stomach was a knot and my chest felt like it was on fire; he was royally furious with me and hadn't held back with the number of insults he'd given me.

Finn stood in the hall waiting for me as I glanced up to him, meeting his emotionless eyes before I turned my head to walk down the hall towards Samaria's room. Hopefully she would be nicer so I'd saved her for the second visit. I knocked on her door, hearing her voice call me in.

"Kate," Samaria was propped up on pillows with a smile as she saw me. "You're doing ok? I mean you aren't here with us so that's a good sign. Where was all that screaming coming from?"

"I'm fine, just a few cuts and bruises. Raphael was the one yelling, chewing me out actually."

Her eyes widened, "Noodles! He must really be angry. I haven't heard him scream that loud in a while." Samaria's eyes focussed past me. "Commander Finn, have you come to see your favorite student?"

"Yes, I have." He said with a tone especially nicer than what I'd received after our vicious fight two nights ago. I'd deserved it, but even now he gave me no room to try and apologize whatsoever. He was done listening to me.

"I don't really remember what happened." She said, "I was drunk and got a concussion so double blackout! Were you there too? The only person I remember being there was Kate before the floor split in half. Fates, that was scary."

"Hey, you caught me even while drunk. I'm in one piece because of you." I took my hand in her's, giving it a squeeze. "Raphael and Finn came after you were out."

"How'd Raphael break his arm?" She asked with interest. "Please tell me you actually did break it."

"No, a very large boulder did the trick after he got hit in the chest with a fireball."

Samaria's eyes widened. "There were fireballs in there! Fates, that sounds awesome!" Then, she looked at Finn with a radiant smile. "Thank you for coming to see me! But, can I talk to Kate alone for just a moment?"

"Just a minute." Finn replied and I heard the door shut behind him.

Now, Samaria was staring at me with deep interest. "What is going on with you two? Whatever is happening... very weird."

"It was just a huge fight after the Mimic incident." I sighed, "I was a real bitch and I said too much, so he's furious with me. I honestly don't blame him."

"So, you two are just going to give each other the silent treatment? Sounds a little petty to me." She raised an eyebrow. "Come on, you two actually seem to be good friends even with Finn's crazy intensity and jackass-ishness. Just apologize and go back to being weird friends. The Mimic wasn't your fault. Also, did I hear right that you burnt it to the ground?"

"I did burn it down, but that was by accident I guess. It wasn't really how I planned for everything to happen, but Secta rebuilt it just as quickly as I took it down. My meraki isn't really under control still." I breathed, giving her hand one last squeeze before sliding onto my feet. "I'm going to go. Speaking of meraki, I have to train next with Secta after all the mess I've made."

"Good luck mending your friendship." She said with a wink as I opened the door. "Don't burn anything else down please!"

My attempt at apologizing went to shit, only earning me more of Finn's hostility as I decided just to keep my mouth shut. Trying to say I was sorry only made him more irritable than before as he claimed I didn't need to sorry for saying my true feelings, which only spun into a far worse argument.

I'd tried to say I was sorry, and now if he didn't want to hear it then I would just give it up until he was ready to listen. That is, if he ever would be ready.

My head was flying with different thoughts as my heart beat out conflicting emotions, the air in my lungs like fire as I ran along the trail. My body was aching as I approached the opening back up to the sparing field, a knot forming in my chest as I noticed that Finn was still teaching his class.

I had to wait until he finished teaching because he had to escort me to meraki training. He'd given me the wonderful pastime of running my feet off while he taught his two hour lesson. My job was to just keep going until he was finished, which was taking ages as my feet were beginning to feel dead. I felt like I was going to be nauseous as I kept my head down to keep running, but I was unlucky.

"Kate!" Gabriel yelled at me, making me clamp my eyes shut before I glanced up the hill towards him. He waved his arm, the entire class pausing now to look at me as I ran.

Sheepishly, I held up my hand, pausing as I heard Finn snarl.

"All of you, run the circuit since you all have the attention span of a two year old! Go!" He roared as his entire class shuddered and leapt into a sprint down the hill towards the woods in a thick clump. I turned to follow but wasn't as lucky. "Stratton!"

My body froze and so did my mind as I turned slowly to look up the hill, Finn striding confidently towards me with a nasty glare on his face. Biting the inside of my cheek, I opened my mouth to speak, but he held up a hand. After my attempt at apologizing, he'd decided to make a move from not speaking to me to giving me hell every wrong step I made.

"You've decided to throw yourself further on my bad side, haven't you?" His voice snapped in the air, nearly making me flinch as my heart hammered in my chest.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt..."

"Flirt with Gabriel all you want in your free time, not during my lessons because I won't tolerate it." He'd leaned down, towering over me like a giant as his wings spread out to make him appear even larger with his broad shoulders.

"I wasn't flirting." I narrowed my eyes, "and I was trying to go back to running like you asked. He yelled at me first, and now you're here talking to me too."

"I'm talking to you now to say stop distracting my students during my lessons. Now, you can go run some more. Dismissed." Finn growled.

I stared at him with narrowed eyes. "Did you really just dismiss me?" Now I was seething, "I cannot believe you, you cocky bastard! You won't let me apologize to you, and now you are dismissing me? Fates, you drive me crazy!"

"Kate," Finn warned, but I cut him off.

"No, Finn, I'm going to sit here patiently and wait for your lesson to be done, perhaps maybe distracting all of your students at once. I'll get them talking about anything but training like popcorn or unicorns. I'm sure Gabriel will be eager to talk to me about any of it." I said with a snap, gazing up at Finn as I plopped down on the slope of the hill by the training field. He looked furious as I sat still, holding my head high before crossing my arms over my chest. "I refuse to run any longer." 

"You refuse?" Finn's voice made a shiver run down my spine as he stalked towards me, his voice so absolutely enraged that I began to have second thoughts about what I'd done. "You refuse to obey my orders, me, your superior? I am your guardian and your Commander, and you will do as I say without fail! I outrank you!"

Biting my lip, I looked into Finn's eyes, "that's the best you have, Commander? Oh Fates, I'm practically shaking in my sneakers."

"I can do plenty worse." He snarled, "on your feet or I'm sealing you in your room for as long as I decide necessary. You will be in that bedroom day to night besides training and that is all. Meals will be taken in your room alone and you will be left with no visitation besides frequent visits from me. Does that sound nice to you, Stratton?"

I stared at him with wide eyes, feeling a knot form inside my chest. I didn't just wanted to lay in bed and be alone forever. Some part of me even wanted to cry at his threat because I knew he could make it real, but I wouldn't let myself sob either. He'd never see me cry as long as I lived, that ass!

He'd been difficult like this for over a week and I couldn't stand it any longer now that he'd taken it to a new extreme with this impromptu lockdown. I'd said some stupid things because he was being difficult, but couldn't he see that I was this angry because I really cared about him and just wanted to fix the mess we'd made? I hated him being so cold, absolutely despised it.

Couldn't he get it through his thick skull that I cared about him? I cared about him a lot, and he was making me regret my choices if he could flip on a switch turning himself into the biggest dick of the century.

He was reminding me of Leighton more each second, and I was starting to feel like I should just pull completely back and move on. He wouldn't let me apologize or even speak rationally with him, so why even bother? Finn just wasn't the man I'd thought he was.

Or, who I'd hoped he'd be. The future in the Pearl was a load of shit if it thought I'd ever be with someone as angry, irritable and mean as Finnigan Shay. He was a carbon copy of Raphael, but worse.

Swallowing, I shook my head as a weight pushed down on my chest. Why did I care? Couldn't I just let all these... feelings and this tension go?

I stood to my feet without another word, gazing at Finn as he stood across from me. His face betrayed nothing, and I felt as though I were staring at a cold wall. Clearing my throat, I nodded my head once more.

"It doesn't sound nice, F..." I bit my lip before taking a breath. "Commander. I'm sorry for my outburst. It won't happen again."

Then there was a long silence as Finn watched me and I watched him, both of us drawing a long blank as we look into the other's eyes. I was hoping he'd say something, just anything to clue me into the fact that he didn't want our relationship to be this way any longer either. I jerked my head away to look down at my feet and the grass.

If only he'd just say anything, because I couldn't stand this awful feud between us any longer, those lethal, blue eyes. I wanted to be friends again.

Screw it, I want to be his girlfriend.

I wanted to be able to laugh and talk to him as much as I wanted, to be able to spend as much time with him as I possibly could. I wanted to have our own inside jokes and private conversations. I wanted to be able to hold his hand, just to be able to feel him squeeze mine as we walked to wherever we were going. I wanted to be able to hug him all the time, to ruffle up his hair with my fingers just to make him playfully angry with me. I wanted to kiss him, to be able to feel his lips against mine as we held each other close while cuddling in bed.

Even with how terrible this fight had been between us, I couldn't just get rid of the feelings I had for him. They were so strong, their power over me so intense that I knew it would be a long process if I ever had to get over him.

But I didn't want to get over him.

From our silence, I broke it first, taking his lack of... anything to be the note of finality in our conversation.

"I'll go back to running, Commander. I'll be ready to leave when you finish your lesson just as you please. I won't say another word, I promise." With that, I brushed past him, walking down the hill towards the trail once again trying to regulate my breathing as I forced myself not to cry.