CHAPTER FOUR

A month in Korea. An entire month spent doing nothing but learning the new language bit by bit instead of actually studying for the entrance exams of a high school I'm aiming for.

Name someone who's more ignorant of their priorities.

Did I regret the choices I've made? Not yet, it hasn't come to that point yet.

The fourth week of freedom - if I say I've been productive, that would be an easy lie. I have spent my days sleeping, eating, doing some random shit, and thinking about putting my life together. But once midnight strikes and Gun comes knocking on my door to offer going on a walk together knowing that I have been having troubles on sleeping - all those worries go back inside a drawer that only opens up again once sunrise arrives.

It was basically a routine that I could have easily ended if I wasn't so blinded by my own feelings.

The fourth week of summer, it was the day where me and Gun had our first drinks as minors. Not sure if it counts though. I'm not sure if it was the first for him but it was certainly the first for me.

It was not exactly planned, it was more like an accident. He invited me over to his hotel room to eat some take outs that he ordered on his way back from god-knows-where, and it just happens that the drinks had alcohol on it because it's supposed to be flavored soju.

I can remember this day with the utmost shame.

"Why does it taste bitter?" I questioned with furrowed brows as I looked at the drink in my hand again.

Gun was unfazed, he probably didn't taste it since he was too busy eating while watching some cartoon on the television in front of us.

It took me a couple more gulps before I realized just what I had drank. Of course, I was not in the proper mind to be horrified or something.

It was my first time drinking more than just a bare sip of alcohol. I remember secretly tasting the rice wine that my parents loved so much (out of curiosity) and I ended up having to brush my teeth for more than just several times because the taste was simply too overwhelming for me to handle.

"Gun, why is your room so much better than mine?" I mustered out through the heavy influence as if something was making me exhausted.

Naturally, Gun was confused. "What?"

"Your room. . . Why is it spinning while mine can't?"

It was at that moment when Gun realized the situation.

He grasped both of my shoulders, sending shivers down my spine as he was now so close in front of me, his eyes carefully examining my state.

At this close distance between us, I was able to see his face more directly. And while I should already be used to us being this close considering we've been friends for so long already - this was a different matter. I changed my view of him and it was no longer the same as it was before.

"You're intoxicated." Gun reached to the conclusion.

"That's a heavy word."

"Drunk." He corrected himself. "But why? Can juice make you drunk?" He asked me despite knowing I would not reply to him properly.

He instead leaned closer, his nose touching mine as he breathed.

At this point, I was probably flustered beyond control, and the alcohol was not helping at all.

He meets my eye, and there was an unreadable look on his orbs before he eventually pulled away, turning around as he picked up my empty cup. He then sighed deeply.

"Soju." Was the answer to it all. "But there's barely a drop, just how low is your tolerance to alcohol?" He chastised as if it was my fault, ignoring the fact that I was still a minor and this was my first time drinking alcohol, even if it was the bare minimum.

"What did you expect?" I huffed out, about to stand up before I feel my legs weaken and I lost my balance.

He moved in reflex to grab a hold of the nape of my shirt, maybe a little to quick as it came off rough.

"Don't move around recklessly." He still went on to lecture me. I drowned out the rest of what he said. Why? Because I was barely breathing! The position we were in left me to be strangled by my own shirt!

He only noticed when I was turning a little blue. If he had noticed a little later, he would be sending a corpse back to Japan, and my shirt would have been arrested for manslaughter.

"Sorry." He mumbled, quite sheepish considering the fact he almost killed me.

I glared at him.

My first alcohol experience was certainly not one found in love stories where the setting is perfect for romance. No, it was far from it.

Chances are, it could have been romantic if it continued, but the title would instead be Corpse Bride.

"Don't you at least feel a little dizzy? You finished yours as well." I pointed at his also empty cup that was on the floor - well, a spinning floor.

"I don't have a weak tolerance."

He must be enjoying himself with rubbing the newfound information all over my face.

"You should sleep it off, it'll be gone in the morning." Gun stated as he forcefully made me drink water. "You should stay here for the night."

The spinning sight before me stopped almost completely for a second after hearing those words. Did I hear that right? Alcohol doesn't make you hear things, right? I blinked multiple times before confirming it was reality.

I felt even more heat add up to my already burning face.

"What? There's no need!" I refused profusely. I would definitely not survive the night, I wouldn't even be able to blink. "My room is just across yours so it won't be a hassle, I can even walk myself there right now."

He grabbed my wrist to stop me.

He just likes grabbing wrists, doesn't he?

"Someone needs to monitor you, what if you do some crazy shit? I wouldn't want to wake up to troublesome news hearing some teenager jumped off the balcony at 1 AM." He said.

"Then I'll lock everything."

"A chair is all it takes to break it."

"I'll tie myself on the bed so I wouldn't do stupid shit." I came up with the best solution I could think of.

"Or, you can just stay where someone can put you out of your misery when you try to do anything dumb."

There was nothing wrong with staying with Gun. We've had sleepovers in the past and all of it were pretty memorable. But again, this was now a different matter, it was not the same as before. The problem did not lie with him - but with me.

If I stay the night, it would only be more difficult for me. I might do something that will make him realize my feelings for him and then it would make a drift between us. I did not want to ruin the friendship we have now, and I certainly did not want him to disdain me.

"I'll take this side." But there he is, as decisive as ever. He was already choosing his side of the large bed.

"Don't make decisions without me!"

"It's already decided, M/n. This is for the best." He stated like it was a fact.

I knew I had no hopes of convincing him to change his mind once he already decided it. So, I reluctantly walked over to my supposed side and stayed as far away from him as possible.

It took me everything to make the right steps without falling, hitting my head, getting rushed to the hospital, and then dying from blood loss.

"It'll probably leave a headache tomorrow." He assumed. "Funny considering you only had a drop of soju."

"It was probably an entire spoon, don't take it lightly." I argued.

He was getting great amusement out of my suffering, he's sure to hold this against me for the next few days.

"Are you comfortable?" He asked after a few minutes of silence. "You liked sleeping with a lot of pillows." He only had 2 pillows and both could be found beneath our heads.

"Do I look like I'm in the state to pick preferences?"

After shutting the lights and doing a ton of night routines, Gun finally laid on bed, body as stiff as a rock, his head facing the ceiling. It looked like a super uncomfortable position, and I wondered if he was planning to sleep like that for the entire night.

What an odd guy.

I was the one who always slept first during our sleepovers, and the last one to wake up as well. That was why I never noticed how he sleeps. Turns out, he looks like he's practicing for his funeral.

For whatever miraculous reason, I managed to close my eyes and fall asleep as well.

But that didn't last long as I woke up freezing at the middle of the night, having only a few hours of sleep before waking up and feeling as if I was sleepwalking to Antartica.

My feet accidentally touched Gun's, and I swore I felt my soul leave my body for a second.

I had a hard time differentiating between ice and Gun's feet.

No wonder it was cold, he was radiating it all off! Despite being under the covers and the time being the middle of summer, it seriously felt like it was the coldest day in December.

Sleeping with Gun on the other side of the bed was definitely not romantic.

His position, his body temperature - it was like I was sleeping beside a fucking dead body.

I bit back my suffering and laid still, turning to my side, looking carefully at Gun's side profile. He looks serious even when he's sleeping, there was still that permanent look on his face.

And somehow, for whatever insane reason, I still found it endearing.