CHAPTER ONE

The day I realized I liked him was years after our friendship.

I was at the year of finishing middle school, and there was a fireworks event in the particular provincial city. Fireworks were nothing new around here, you would often see some random ones at a remotely ordinary day - and best guess behind those are bored high school students who could not think of a better activity to do during their free time.

I was in the middle of walking with my school friends, cracking up on some ridiculous jokes and talking about the most random things. The typical things.

We were walking down the hill road, fresh out of a tiring day of school.

Things were going smoothly, I had a blast. That was until I heard the familiar ring of a bell from a bike, my attention was abruptly torn away from my friends and onto the new presence.

It was Gun.

He was riding a blue bicycle, the one with a basket. He was wearing casual clothes, which consists of an expensive white button up shirt and a pair of dark trousers. It was oddly endearing to see him with such simplicity despite knowing that the total cost of his 'casual' clothes would be enough to pay for my private school tuition for the first semester.

My friends stared, somewhat in recognition. Gun was quite well-known, and they've probably seen him before since him showing up in the middle of the day was nothing new.

"Hop on." He said bluntly, leaving no rooms for objections as he held me by my wrist, leaving me no choice but to oblige if I didn't want to come tumbling down the hill.

I hastily threw my bag towards one of my friends before taking a quick seat behind the bike, he then sped down the hill as I waved at my friends apologetically. "I'll see you tomorrow!" I yelled out, also indicating about my bag.

It was not odd for Gun to randomly turn up in the middle of the day to simply bother me. He knows of my schedule, the time I leave, and the routes I take. That was the result of our years of friendship.

I was the only person he really talks to around this neighborhood so I understood pretty well that sometimes - he feels like he could use some human interaction.

"You should have given me a warning beforehand." I spoke up, huffing. "You can't always threaten to drag me down the hill."

"Why? Are their time with you more important than mine?"

I rolled my eyes. I know he knows the answer to that. We have been friends since childhood; done some crazy things, did some reckless stuff. Of course nothing would amount to the years spent.

"Where are we heading?" I asked, grasping onto the back of his shirt after he made an abrupt turn on the road, I was afraid I would fall off and come up on my graduation day with a cast.

"Running some errands." He replied shortly.

"And you think bringing me along is more convenient?" I stressed out, glancing at the road.

He stopped after rounding another corner, he then smirked as he nodded. "Of course."

In front of him was another hill, except, instead of going down, we had to climb it up. He got off the bicycle which made me get off as well as there was no longer a balance on the front.

I didn't like where this was leading.

"Drive us up." Gun stated plainly in a more demanding voice. It simply meant I could not refuse. And why I still take orders from him? I have no idea. It was as if a spell of sorcery was casted upon me where I become a completely different person when it comes to him, I could not refuse him at all.

I have tried to shrug him off before, but it seems like there was no turning back after I initiated all of this in that one particular rainy day.

I tried ending whatever we had at the beginning of our friendship since I was starting to find him bothersome. Every weekend when we were but a child, he would wait by the street across my house, sitting with that blank look of his, his eyes hidden behind dark tinted sunglasses.

And when I don't come out, he just. . . Sits there. All day. He doesn't budge, he just patiently waits outside like a stray puppy. And I would feel too guilty after a few hours and then come out as a result.

That was at the start of our friendship when he hardly spoke any words. It was when I was the only one who initiated the conversations. After a few weeks, he started engaging in our altercations more.

Yes, it took us a few weeks.

"Hey, drive us up."

I was exasperated upon hearing what he had just said for the second time. He was expecting me to do all the labor.

"This is so unfair!" I complained halfway up the hill, my legs beginning to hurt by all the weight that threatens to drag me down towards where I first started. "You're so heavy!" I openly exclaimed.

"I drove us here, now it's your turn." He said bluntly, sitting behind me, his back facing mine.

I have no idea why I still hang out with him, why I still allow myself to be bossed around by him.

"This better be worth it." I gritted my teeth as I was now close to the top, hope filling ever fiber of my being as I saw the straight path that awaits for me on the top.

"I'm just going to run some errands, what are you expecting?" He questioned. He sounds like he's arching a brow so I'm assuming he is.

"A reward for my hard work, of course." I stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. He didn't reply, keeping silent to himself as always. He hasn't changed that much.

It took me a couple more pushes before I was eventually allowed to breathe. Almost immediately, I collapsed as soon as we hit the fair ground.

"Well done." He said with a lack of enthusiasm, making it hard for me to figure whether he was being genuine or mocking. I shrugged him off and continued to pant after my breath. "Move away, I'll drive."

He got out of the back of the bike, standing beside me, looking as if he'll kick me off if I don't move sooner.

Hesitantly, I did. I replaced his former seat before he started paddling the pedals in a more swift speed in comparison to earlier. I could see the amount of green that filled my view as we passed by numerous trees and hills from a distance.

"Who're you running an errand for? You never run errands." I pointed out. People would run errands for him instead of the other way around.

Was he in a good mood? Was his obedient mode on today? Hell if I knew.

"You ask too many questions."

"You should be used to it by now." I looked around. "I'm surprised you have a lot of free time today. Don't you have a list of people to beat up?"

"I'll add you to that list if you don't shut up."

I merely rolled my eyes.

After passing a couple more roads and streets, we eventually reached a higher part of the hill where it'll enable us to see the city in a proper view.

It was relatively empty and I didn't bother to wonder why. The roads here are too narrow and stoop for the people to enjoy. Despite the rewarding view at the top, nothing could beat the struggle they'll have to endure on the way.

Gun parked the bike somewhere by the side, putting down the stand as he walks towards the old store right by the side of the road.

I waited outside, allowing my eyes to scan the view in front of me.

The dimming sky, its color turning to a light shade of purple. The city lights below me that has only started to light up due to the night approaching. It was a wonderful sight, and my mind couldn't help but travel towards the fireworks event that was bound to start a couple minutes from now.

I was supposed to watch it with my school friends. Gun turning up was certainly not a part of my agenda.

I have bugged him about it for numerous times before, but he wouldn't budge. He said he wasn't interested in watching bombs flying and popping on the sky.

I spotted the familiar mop of slightly slicked hair. It was Gun, and he had just left the store carrying two bottles of flavored tea. I wondered if that was his so-called errands. You can certainly buy that in a closer shop without having to climb up hills.

"You can see everything from here." He spoke plainly, holding out one of the bottled tea for me to take.

I was skeptical at first before eventually accepting it. "Are you gonna make me carry this?"

"Drink it." He didn't say another word. His answers remaining vague, leaving me to ponder just what on earth was going inside his head. "Drink it or I'll throw you off this cliff."

His threats are always present when he sees I'm visibly hesitating on things he tells me to do.

I opened the cap and brought the bottle to my mouth, savoring the bland taste. He didn't buy the fully-flavored ones but I didn't complain. "Thanks." I mumbled, barely audible.

After some time, I decided to speak again.

"What's the errand?" I asked once more, testing my luck as I watched the sky slowly grow darker above us. The others are probably at the event by now.

"I decided not to do it." He simply said without another word, and it left me dumbfounded.

"What?" I asked in disbelief. "What's the big deal then?" I was basically annoyed. "I was supposed to watch the event with my school friends. You can't just drag me away when you just want to."

It somehow just pisses me off that I allow myself to be dragged around by him just when he feels like it.

At this point, I felt that he was being unreasonable. Childish even. He probably doesn't even consider that I have a life outside of being his 24/7 servant.

But instead of lashing out and uttering out a furious string of words, I chose to keep it in and grumble, sticking my hands deep inside my pockets before walking away.

Whenever I felt angry, I don't tend to show it. Mainly because I didn't want to. I've seen plenty enough of angry adults in my life, and it's not pretty. I didn't want to be like them where expressing utter anger is a must, where things go messy and words you can't take back are said.

I just prefer walking away before I do something I regret.

Before I can take a step further, I felt a strong hand grip onto my wrist, keeping me on place. It was tight enough to abruptly stop me, but not too harsh to hurt me to a certain extent.

"Watch it with me."

And then all my anger was then replaced with confusion.

"What?" I was, once again, dumbfounded. Gun always managed to make me feel stupid at times with his tendency to randomly pop out words.

"The exploding bombs," he gestured towards the sky rather stiffly. "Watch it with me from here." He said more properly this time.

And then it occurred to me.

Did he bring me here under the guise of 'running errands' just to watch the fireworks? Now that I think of it, it made more sense. No wonder he could not answer me properly about his purpose, it was because he was far too stubborn to admit his intentions.

Somehow, I felt a lot more pleasant. And a lot more dumber than before.

The signs were there but I couldn't see it. I've known him for roughly over a decade and I still couldn't decipher him. I felt sheepish.

"You could have just said so." I grumbled, ignoring how warm my cheeks felt. I was just thankful that it was dark.

He looked away, turning his head away from me, making it harder for me to know what he was thinking.

Suddenly, the sound of an object surrounded by air shooting up had cut through our silence, and a second after - there were explosions. Beautiful and colorful explosions.

I was taken by awe as I leaned against the railings.

"They're so loud." Gun spoke up, I can see his nose scrunch up slightly. But I didn't mind. Not at all. Even if he says the show is shitty, I now knew better than to take his words to heart.

He had gone through the trouble of having to convince me to come without telling me the real reason on why. Even though he was not particularly fond of fireworks or being out at a dim and troublesome place like this - he still did so. And I liked to think it was for me.

Even if it was or not, I would still be as joyous.

It answered my question just a while ago on why I still hang out with him, on why I still allow myself to be bossed around by him.

It's because he does some shit like this.

He does things that just makes me feel pleasant and moved, and because of his little gestures and the efforts he normally doesn't put - it made it harder for me to tear myself away from him.

And I realized, the reason why I was even affected of his actions in the first place was because I have subconsciously placed him higher than just a childhood friend of mine.

I don't know just where exactly.

My eyes trailed down towards his hand, the hand that was still holding my wrist. Yet, his grasp was no longer as tight as it was before, it was now a little loosened and bare, knowing that I would no longer slip off his fingertips.

And for some reason, he was right. I could no longer picture myself somewhere else tonight. I could only see the night sky with decorations of momentary light and the side view of his well-accentuated face.

And for a moment, my breath hinged at the middle of my throat.

The thump in my heart, the heat on my cheeks, and the uncomfortable feeling in my stomach that made me hesitant to move any part of my body.

At that very moment, I realized something dreadful.

I knew where I had mistakenly placed him now.

It was right by the void in my chest.