𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐘-𝐅𝐈𝐕𝐄 | Pains

{ Daenerys }

✧✦✧

𝕯aenerys had never truly tried to think about her first pregnancy or her son that much. After he had died in exchange for her husband, who had then also died by her hands, it was a memory that she often put to the back of her mind. She had killed her first born child, her son.

But now, she was undeniably pregnant again and she could not help but continuously ponder over her first pregnancy, over what she had done wrong, of the fact that it was her fault and the fact that Daenerys had been convinced that a witch had cast her spell on her.

Mirri Maz Duur had told her that she would never had children again and the residing fear was still wreathed around her heart. What if, just like her firstborn, her second came out as a creature instead of a human? What happens if they were not living? If all of this was all false and the child was already dead?

She placed a hand on her belly, rubbing her thumb across the warm skin, before standing from her seat slowly. Everything hurt, more so than the first pregnancy, and Daenerys was dreading giving birth. She could not remember it last time, having been unconscious for the entirety of it. But now, it was becoming entirely more real for her.

She was in her makeshift tent that they used when traveling, and in all honesty, Daenerys was ready to go to bed. But, she was covered in dust and she was weary and her hair needed unbraiding. So, they had drawn her a bath, as hot as possible. She was a Targaryen and her child, her heir as everyone called it, would be one too.

Dropping her robe, she sank down into the bath water, her muscles relaxing in an instance. Her ankles were swollen, legs sore from riding, stomach sore from carrying a child. Everything was sore.

The being in her stomach that was normally writhing around at this time of night, settled in the heat as Daenerys traced patterns on her belly and furrowed her eyebrows.

First things first, she had to make it through childbirth and give birth to a healthy child and make sure that they were alive and not a monster. That was the biggest of her challenges. But she knew that her challenges did not end there.

Daenerys had never had a mother, she had never had a mother figure and she did not know how to be a mother. What if she got it all wrong? What happens if she harmed this child or made it go wrong because of her inability to be a parent?

And then, considering how she had felt about her only other living blood relative, what if she grew to hate the child? The child was not exactly being born at the best time, which was mainly Coren and Daenerys' fault, but what if-

"You are thinking too much." A thumb was pressed between her eyebrows, as a familiar voice hit her ear. Coren was standing beside her, before he placed his sword down gently and sat down next to the tub, watching her. "You alright?"

"Where have you been?"

"Training." Coren smiled gently, as Daenerys relaxed, leaning her head onto her arms as she watched Coren with soft eyes. Her hand had a mind of its own, reaching for his and intertwining their fingers as she smiled. "What's got you thinking so deeply?"

"How much my body aches." Daenerys muttered. "I do not remember it hurting so much the first time around."

"Yes, but there were a lot of other things going on during that first time. We were riding with the Khalasar, Drogo was dying and that witch was hovering like a persistent fly." Coren's eyes landed on her bump, a smaller grin on his face and Daenerys' heart broke again. He would never be able to be a true father to their child. "Can I...please?"

She did not have the heart to tell him no, not when he looked at her with those eyes.

His fingers reached out, tentatively at first, before just barely brushing the side of her stomach as if it he was scared that he would hurt Daenerys if he was stronger. His eyes stayed on her baby bump, before his fingers created shapes on her pale skin. The baby inside of her moved, reaching for their father as Coren chuckled. Daenerys kept her eyes on him instead.

"If you had the choice," Coren spoke, as the baby kicked by his hand. "What would you prefer?"

"What?" Daenerys put her attention back onto the man.

"Would you prefer a son or a daughter?" Coren watched her now, brown eyes soft.

"I do not know." If she had a son, she felt like it would be replacing her son that had died with Khal Drogo but if she had a daughter, would the child be sold off to the highest bidder? The only daughter of the last Dragon and all that would probably have a novelty to it that someone would wish to steal and corrupt for themselves. "Do you know?"

"A daughter." Coren smiled as Daenerys' eyes furrowed.

"But, what about everything that could happen?"

"I'd kill them." Coren stated with a completely straight face, shrugging. "You think I would let some child loving lord lay a hand on our child? They would not leave with a head."

"Jorah wants you to have nothing to do with the child."

"Jorah can go fuck himself. You give him too much power." Coren sat upright as Daenerys rolled her eyes. "You wished for me to be truthful, there it is."

"He knows the Westerosi people better than I do and he knows that they will not like me being married to you. You do not even have a home."

"Ouch."

"That-I did not mean it come out like that." Daenerys ran a tired hand down her face. "I have to be the best option that the Westerosi lords and people have as a ruler and a child who is a bastard does not do that. Jorah understands the people, he was a lord and he knows that my child being cared for by a guard will not put me in the right standing."

"Or, hear me out, we could get married then the child would no longer be a bastard and I'll kill anyone who opens their mouth against you or them." Coren offered and Daenerys wished, more than anything, that she could accept that. She cared for Coren, deeply but she could not marry him.

"I do not want people deferring to my husband over me when I go to Westeros, or looking down on me. I have to be desirable." Daenerys muttered, though she hated the word. "And if I should marry, it should be to improve my standing and army. Coren, you have already offered me all you have."

"Falkor?"

"Falkor is still my dragon." Daenerys pointed out as Coren kissed his teeth. This had been one of their many constant arguments with each other, over the status of their child and their relationship to each other. "I do not wish for an argument."

"I know. I just wished you did not listen to old men on the subject of what to do with your life." Coren rolled his eyes, before going back to tracing her stomach.

"Why do you wish for a girl?" Daenerys put their conversation back on track. "I thought it was the wish for every man to have a son to be their heir and follow in their footsteps."

"If we have a son, they will never follow in my footsteps." Coren pointed out, his words a little clipped. Daenerys knew that Coren was a lot more upset with the situation than he liked to let on, and she was worried that one wrong comment and he would attempt to dispose of all of her advisors that he hated. "If it's a girl, she will have her mother to follow. I think it would be some form of poetic justice if the Targaryen line is continued by a daughter after the sons of the Targaryen house were the cause of its collapse."

Daenerys pondered over that, unbraiding her hair as she nodded.

"I did not think of it that way." She twisted all of her hair upwards, pinning it in place as she sank further into the tub of scalding water, though it had cooled from it's boiling temperature. 

"She would have white hair." Coren mused, smiling. "The child is already a Targaryen from it's love of hot water. I am sure she would have white hair."

"You have spent a lot of time thinking about the child despite us not knowing what it will be."

"It provides some relief from riding and dealing with your boisterous dragons. Drogon is out to get me." Daenerys laughed at that. "Do not laugh. He almost burnt my eyebrows off yesterday when he walked into me! Your dragon is going to kill me."

"He will not. Falkor would protect you." Daenerys laughed.

"Aye, before I know it, I shall be surrounded by dragons. There shall be no escape for me." Coren shook his head with a chuckle. "I shall have six of you to deal with."

"Deal with?" Daenerys chuckled. "Charming."

"But true." Coren dodged the spash of water that was aimed at him. "It is still hard to believe that almost four years ago, there were only two dragons in the world and you were a dragon with no teeth, and now there are six and you have developed the sharpest fangs of them all."

"Are you suggesting that I would bite you?"

"You do not know. I would not put it past you." She smacked his hand gently as he chuckled.

"We do not even know if there will be six."

"What is that supposed to mean? I do not think you are having twins." Coren turned to her.

"I have to give birth to the child first. That is where I failed last time." Daenerys looked away as Coren raised an eyebrow and scowled.

"You did not fail. The witch cursed you. Those are separate incidences." Coren pointed out.

"She told me I could not have children."

"I think that might have been dispelled then." Coren nodded, looking at her stomach. "Because you're either pregnant or you have-I shall not finish that sentence."

"Good plan." Daenerys growled, eyes narrowed as Coren grinned sheepishly.

"Look, I am only trying to illustrate that the witch lied to you because you are quite clearly pregnant." Coren shrugged his shoulders. "She tricked you, lied about her intentions and whilst the reasoning behind her thoughts were true, killing an innocent baby does not equate to punishing the people that harmed her. She should have taken it up with them, not a child."

"My last child came out a monster with scaly skin and disintegrated into ash when she touched it." Daenerys sighed, leaning back and looking at the ceiling of her tent. "What happens if the same thing happens to this child? What happens if the fault was not with Mirri Maz Dur but with me? If this child, our child, dies, then it is my fault."

"It would, and could, never be your fault." Coren shook his head. "Daenerys, look at me."

She did not move.

"Look at me." His hand found her chin, drawing her head down until she looked into his eyes. "I know that this baby did not come at an opportune time, that there are a thousand other things that we have going on at this moment that take priority and that are weighing on your mind, but let me make one thing perfectly clear. Whatever happens, it is not your fault. I, and no one else, would blame you. You are stressed and this situation is not ideal but do not take the word of a witch who hated you and determine that it is law."

"But-"

"No. The ghost of Mirri Maz Dur, or whatever you wish to call it, has wormed its way into your head and taken root. She is poison and I should have stepped in and stopped you from making that deal, or dealt with that situation differently when I had the chance but I did not and I regret that." Coren grasped both of her hands. "All you can do now in this situation, is listen to your body and your needs and your child. Do not listen to me, do not listen to Jorah or Ser Barristan, or any other man about this child and what you should do with your life and your rule. Missandei is smart, maybe take heed of her advice. This child is healthy, it is moving and you are strong and growing still, which must mean that the child is too. They are a Targaryen and a Thorne, and they come from strong houses and from strong people. There is a whole stigma of you being queen and having a child whist being queen, mainly perpetrated from within this camp, but if anyone could balance motherhood and ruling and making this world as good as they can, it is you. Do not doubt yourself. That is not the queen that I know, or the queen I chose to follow. You can do this."

Daenerys could only watch him with wide eyes as he stood up, and leant to press a kiss to her head.

"I am proud of you." He whispered in her ear as Daenerys felt her shoulders untense and tears well in the corner of her eyes. She clutched onto his armour, keeping him close. "You are doing so well with everything that has happened, and I am proud of you for doing it and for continuing. You will be a great queen, and a brilliant mother."

They fell silent.

"And if any of them open their mouths again, I shall kill them."

"No you shall not." Daenerys motioned for her robe to be passed to her as she clambered out of the tub with the help of Coren. He shot her a non-committal look. "Coren. I know you have plans to kill him, but you have no reasoning."

"He breathed."

"Not a good enough reason."

"He says that I cannot be around you or the baby."

"A slightly more relevant reason but I need him to help take over Mereen." Daenerys wandered back to her bed as Coren followed.

"He thinks we should not be left alone together." Coren pointed out, slumping down in a chair as he fiddled with his signet ring.

"Well, that did lead us to our current predicament." Daenerys rested her hand on her belly, plaiting her hair to make sure that it did not become knotted overnight.

"Yes, but I cannot get you any more pregnant if we are alone, can I?" Coren pointed out. "Sometimes, I struggle to believe that Jorah was married because surely he would have better knowledge of women."

"For someone who claims to hate him, you spend an awful lot of time talking about Jorah."

"I do not hate him." Coren changed his tone.

"You keep threatening to kill him." Coren considered that for a second.

"I do hate him." Coren conceded. "But I am greatful that he raised me and introduced us, though I bet he's regretting it, and I speak about it with you so much because who else am I supposed to rant to? Daario Naharis?"

"Missandei?"

"You raise a good point." Coren conceded. "Right, I should go before I am skinned alive."

Falkor's nose appeared, pushing the tent flaps apart as he looked in.

"Why is Falkor here?"

"I told you, I am not allowed to be around you unless Falkor is there. Hence, Falkor is here." Coren grinned as Daenerys rubbed her forehead. "I am very good at planning."

"I am pregnant. No you are not." Daenerys accepted the kiss he pressed to her head, his hand snaking around the back of the head to hold her close. "Thank you for tonight, Coren."

"It is my job." Coren smiled, before tracing his hand across her bump as the child kicked at her hand. "Should you need anything, you shout for me and Falkor and I will come running."

"He is not staying in camp." Daenerys narrowed her eyes once more.

"I cannot protect you and I do not trust anyone else with doing that, least of all the old men, so Falkor shall stay close." Coren smiled as Falkor huffed and chuffed to himself, obviously very pleased with what was going on.

"I still do not think he understands you."

"He does." Coren pulled away. "Come on you."

He gave Falkor's nose a push, sending her one final bow before disappearing through the tent and disappearing as Daenerys watched him go. She had a lot to think on now, that was for sure.

Hiya,

Coren hates Jorah, and the feeling's mutual. Dany's panicking, gals got severe anxiety, Falkor's a gem, Coren is a certified hater and that's it and just a lot of conversation and arguments, it'll be important lol. This isn't edited, don't come me at for it, I'll do it tomorrow :) 

Let me know what you think,

Love Li xx