I wake up to my norwegian forest cat Mr,Whiskers who meows right into my sleep captured face, his wet cat nose only millimeters away from my humanly dry one. I look over at his cat bowl on the floor next to my bedside table and of course his bowl is empty and the same shade of olive green as the bed and side table. I groan out in frustration and get up out of my warm and fuzzy coocoun, my safety net and cuddle place. Apperently Mr.Whiskers has decided that we are starting the day bright and early on my day off work and as I look at the clock it confirms that it is indeed bright and early, actually 05:00 o'clock. I love Mr.Whiskers but sometimes I just wish he could stay quiet for a longer period of time. 

After filling up my cats food bowl and water bowl and cleaned out his cat toilet which is for the record very nasty to smell I got ready to go for my morning jog in the woods nearby my apartment complex. There are different routes to choose from, some longer, some shorter, some more safe and some less safe if you can say that. I always change up my routs that I jog so that nobody can guess which one I am taking next but I also psuh my limits as far as I can. I might be lazy sometimes but I am not a slacker when it is about taking care of my body and myself. Although my anxiety kicks in allot and the thought of getting older each day without certain accomplishments in life makes me sick. To be this anxious is no fun and to think about it 24/7 is the worst, some days are worse than others though. Some days it just reminds me a few times about getting older and other days I can barely do my normal household chores without my brain going hardcore on making me overthink everything. The joogging in the morning calms my thoughts down and for once they are quiet. To be honest I have indeed tried a couple of different ways to get rid of my anxiety including medication but I do not like chemical things to help me with it. 

As I jogg through the woods and the trees swoosh by I hear another jogger/runner and as I turn to look who it is considering I know kind of everyone who jogs this way and my heart skips a beat. A man, no not just any man. This man is clothed in the newest running shoes from Laura's shoes, a small shoe store right down the road and he has a apple watch on his wrist and of course black shorts and a grey gym shirt with a black open hoodie on top. His clothes are not what made my heart skip another beat though, it is the way his green eyes gaze around the woods and land on me... He smiles at me through his thick medium length beard and I automaticly smile back. He jogs past me and as fast as he appeared he is gone again. 

As I get back home I pet Mr.Whiskers hello, lock my door from the inside and go inside the bathroom to shower and change clothes to get even more ready for my early day. I glance at my phone as the shower heats up and read the clock at 06:10 o'clock, oh why did he need to wake me up so early? I jump into the shower and the hot water glides over my body as a close old friend embracing me closer than he should. I embrace the hug and safety and calmness comes over me. Atleast for a few seconds I can live without my anxiety before it comes right back at me and I start washing my hair trying to get rid of it again but this time it decides to stay come back earlier than usually. 

After the shower I make pancakes for breakfast together with a glass of my beloved cranberry juice. I eat in the calm quiet of the morning before I open up the door out my balcony and sit down in my couch to relax a little more on my day off. I love my work but sometimes everyone just needs a day to recharge all batteries. I take out my journal from under the self-built coffee table in front of the black couch and start to write down everything I want to achieve. 

Journal;

* Promotion at work ! 

* Make a living of off painting ! 

* Dear journal; I went jogging again today, I think it is helping with my anxiety but I am not sure. Hav to continue trying it!

I sit and journal for 15 minutes, when journaling I write about my day and what I have achieved and what I want to continue achieveing. To sit outside oon my balcony makes me feel a little bit free and my hopes to be completly free one day start to creep in on me with the cold breeze flying past. I sigh at the thought of all my dreams being completed. To dream about my future is one part of it all but I do need to work hard to achieve it all. After being done with journaling and dreaming away I roll out my yoga rug and start to stretch out my aching muscles, I always want to feel them aching before actually stretching them out. The burning sensation just feels good for a while. 

Mr.Whiskers meows at me and I check the time which shows that the clock has already hit 08:30 and I realise that he now needs his so called brunch consisting of 5 blueberries and some time together in my art studio. Technicly it is not an art studio but it is the extra bedroom in my two bedroom apartment and lays right next to the balcony which leads to the perfect natural light shining in. Me and Mr.Whiskers go inside the art studio and I put his blueberries on his plate next to my easle so that he can sit next to me whilst I stand to continue my painting. The painting means allot to me considering it is supposed to symbolise my loving family and all the angels looking at me from above. The painting includes pain and hope about dreams that can be true. 

I put on a timer for 1,5 hours so that I know when to take a break and when it sadly rings and i step back to look at my work I realise that I have accidentaly dropped a bit off paint on Mr.Whiskers who is now sleeping. A laugh erupts from my stomach and I wipe the colour of of him but only a second later I start laughing again. In front of me is a confused Mr.Whiskers looking at me with sleep in his eyes and a blue - purple marking on his forehead. Ii cuddle him for a couple of minutes as a break from painting and then set my timer on one hour and continue with it. It should be finished soon my mind says as the painting takes form under my brush strokes. 

While painting I start to drift of into my brains different nooks and cranies which leads to thinking about love and how it has stabbed my back multiple times, turned to heal the wound only to stab it again and pour salt into it.  I have met all  of the wrong men and even tried to be with women in a younger age but no one has ever gotten my heart to beat like my dad has for my mother or like Viola does for her fiancé and the other way around. The men I have fallen for never loved me like they do, safe to say that I fall for the wrong guys on a basis. 

The alarm rings and I again step back from my painting to look at it and feel satisfaction lay on my body like a fuzzy blanket as it is done and ready to be signed. I take my special edition black pen and sign; Dominic Nicholes. My ghost painter name under which I submitt my painting to the udnerground gallery, this one is also going down there and I will be there to see it on a wall being adored by half the gathering or atleast that is my dream. A sigh leaves my body as I am slightly proud of myself and after the great feeling passes I lay down to rest for the remaining time of the day and cuddle Mr.Whiskers only for him to meow into my ear for more food. He gets his favorite, wet cat food from the vetenarian with the taste of turkey and fish, a weird combination if you would ask me but as long as he likes it I will buy it as a little treat. 

(Insert a good ending of the chapter here)