in the search of ideas for debate

i find myself losing me

who i am

or who i want to be

i find me trying to convince myself

that schools should provide balanced meals

or that fairytales are full of concocted lies that make life wonderful

but one thing that i can't convince myself of

is that i belong here

one smash of the plates

one clang of my scissors on the ground

and my parents look at me with contempt

like they want to disown me

and that i'm an embarrassment

i guess maybe i am one.

i guess maybe i'm an embarrassment

a disappointment

and i shouldn't have been born in the first place

the feeble attempts for me to convince myself

it's not my fault

have all failed

and at the end it's all my fault.

it's my fault i'm not perfect

it's my fault someone took my jacket

and oh my god

it's my fault that my friend got her mom worried

it's my fault that i got home late

everything is my fault

maybe i should just admit it

and be done with it

maybe i should just tell them

that i suck

that i'm the worst at everything

because convincing myself

is like a bandage over a broken heart. 

– a/n: I PROMISE, I PROMISE to update more please.