CHAPTER 39 | DON'T CRY

"Colonel!" Axel's vision blurred as he cried over Rae's limp body. "Open your eyes, Colonel, open your eyes. Please!"

Axel could not believe what was happening. Everything had occurred so fast. He wanted to rewind time and not leave the unit. Maybe he could have saved Rae if he had stayed. Axel then ripped apart his memories of launching the weapons into the sky. Did...did I...did I cause this? Had he somehow hit Rae?

Axel was on the verge of a mental breakdown thinking he was the reason for Rae's death when he felt a small twitch. Axel was unaware that he had been clutching onto the colonel's large, brown wings until they began to twitch in his grasp.

"Colonel...!" Axel released his hold on Rae's wings to watch them fold against Rae's back and disappear. A moan escaped Rae's lips as his brow twitched. "You're alive!" Axel gasped in relief when Rae's crisp, blue eyes fluttered open.

Rae groaned in pain as he slowly raised himself into a sitting position. A pained smile came to Rae's lips when he saw a crying Axel kneeling in front of him. "Thank God you're alive."

Rae's eyes drooped as he felt himself slowly losing consciousness again, so he leaned over and rested his forehead on Axel's shoulder. "Mhm...Axel..." Rae's voice was deep and quiet as he tried to comfort the distraught half-angel. "Don't...cry..."

The colonel was only able to say that much before slipping back into the realm of unconsciousness. Feeling the colonel grow limp, Axel caught Rae and held him in his arms as he cried in relief. Axel had lost so many, but he did not know that the thought of losing the colonel would have felt so detrimental.

Wet warmth seeped onto Axel's hand as he continued to support Rae. Looking down, Axel took his hand off Rae's back to see it covered with blood. Axel then immediately checked the colonel's back to see claw marks torn into his flesh.

Realizing that the sun was close to setting, Axel knew he needed to get himself and the colonel to shelter before night came and tend to Rae's wounds. While most of the demons in the area had followed the units to the Transport Tower, more were bound to pass through at some point as they answered Hades' call to war.

It's a good thing I've grown some. Axel had never been more thankful for the months he spent training than in that moment when he could support Rae just enough to get him to lay over his back. While the colonel was several inches taller than him, Axel did his best to carry Rae into a nearby building.

The sun had set by the time Axel had climbed enough flights to be safe for the night. When demons did pass through, the two should be high enough to be out of range of the demons' senses, and Axel hoped the bodies of the fallen angel and EDF soldiers would help throw off their scents should the demons detect them.

Luckily, the building Axel had chosen to take refuge in was a family physician's office and clinic, so after gathering enough blankets to make a makeshift nest on the floor on which to set Rae, Axel began scavenging for medical supplies with which to treat Rae's wound. Thankfully, it was winter, so the lowering temperatures helped slow the rate at which Rae was bleeding, giving Axel enough time to rudimentarily stitch and bandage the slashes.

When Rae's back had been cleaned and bandaged, Axel sat down to rest for the night. Ten stories should be high enough. While the worry of being discovered in the night terrified Axel, he knew he would not be able to last very long. His mind and body's exhaustion had caught up to him now that the adrenaline from finding Rae had worn off, and he was the tiredest he had ever been.

As he lay down, Axel noticed shivers slowly creeping into Rae's body. The moonlight that seeped into the clinic lit the room just enough to see how cold the colonel was. Realizing there was more than just demons to worry about, Axel quickly gathered all the blankets he could find and set them over the shivering colonel.

But it was not enough. Rae was growing cold to the touch. With only one other way to provide warmth, Axel took off his impact-resistant vest and jacket until he was only in his undershirt and pants before crawling under the pile of blankets and nestling up against his colonel. Axel was careful to not touch Rae's back, but he rubbed his hand up and down Rae's arm to stimulate warmth.

Before long, Axel's eyes drooped closed as sleep called his name, and he ended up slipping into a deep slumber. So much had happened in the past twelve hours that Axel's mind did not have the ability to process any of it while he was asleep, so it basically shut down and let his body recover as best it could.


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Hazy, morning light filled the room in a soft, blue glow when Rae regained consciousness. Warmth filled his chest, and something soft was touching his neck. Confused about what was up against him, Rae looked down to find Axel snuggled into him. The hangel was so close that his lips were pressed against Rae's neck.

Heat rushed to Rae's cheeks as he looked at the sleeping hangel. The pain that had been a constant throb in Rae's back seemed to disappear as Axel stirred slightly in his sleep and moved closer into the colonel...if that was even possible. A soft moan accompanied the hangel's stirring causing Rae's heart to race in his chest.

Never in the life he remembered had Rae felt this way. Well, that was not the complete truth. He had felt that way before, but it was always because of Axel.

A strand of hair had fallen over Axel's eyes with his small stir, so Rae reached his hand up and gently brushed it away. That was when Rae realized he was shirtless, and the heat in his cheeks intensified. Realizing that it was Axel's shirt he felt against his chest instead of his own caused Rae to recall the reason Axel had stripped him down to his bare chest and looked down to see several bandages wrapped around his back and chest.

Another moan escaped Axel's closed lips as he began to awaken. Rae's blue orbs were the first things Axel saw as his silver eyes fluttered open, and he immediately blushed when he realized how closely he had snuggled against the colonel.

"Y-you're awake," Axel greeted bashfully as he looked up at Rae.

Rae did not give a response as he had been pulled into his memory from the night before the moment Axel had opened his eyes. Rae thought back to when he had regained consciousness for a short moment and saw Axel crying in front of him. Remembering how heavily Axel had been sobbing, Rae instinctively reached his hand up to the hangel's cheek and gently wiped his thumb where Axel's tears had fallen.

"Thank you, Axel..." Rae finally voiced when he returned to the present. Axel had saved and cared for him, and he was forever grateful for the hangel.

Axel could not hide the blush that raced to his cheeks as Rae gazed into his eyes intently. "N-no need to thank me. You've saved me countless times..." Axel's voice lowered, and he trailed off as he became captivated by Rae's gaze. The intensity of the colonel's stare was too much for the hangel to handle for more than ten seconds, so Axel ended up breaking the two's eye contact.

Clearing his throat, Axel moved away from Rae and got out from under the blankets as he suggested, "Let me check your wounds. We can't let them get infected."

Rae was quick to obey the hangel and rose up to a sitting position. Axel gathered the cleaning supplies he had used the night before and knelt behind Rae before carefully unwrapping the bandages that covered the colonel's wounds. Axel's eyes widened when he saw the progress of healing the wounds had made over the night hours.

"They're...almost healed," Axel said in amazement as he saw the wounds had almost all closed up.

"An angel's self-healing accelerates with age," Rae explained as he turned to face the hangel. "I have lived for nine and a half centuries, so there is not much I can't heal from...given it's not fatal."

"Wow..." Axel voiced quietly as he calculated his colonel's age. He's over 950 years old... But he still looks so... handsome. Axel's eyes fell from the colonel's face to his strong chest and rippled abdomen. That was the first time he had seen the colonel's bare chest. The sun had set before Axel tended to Rae's wounds, so he did not get a good glimpse at the colonel's chest. But now that the sun was rising, Axel could not hide the redness that crept into his cheeks at the sight of Rae's strong but lean body.

Realizing he had been staring for far too long, Axel cleared his throat and said, "I, uh, I should still bandage them, though...to, erm, keep them clean."

Rae smiled at Axel's bashfulness and nodded in agreement before turning his back to Axel and letting the hangel sanitize his wounds again before wrapping them with clean strips of cloth. Now that it was brighter, Axel could see the wounds more clearly, but his eye was caught by a scar that started at Rae's mid-back and ran up to the top of his neck. What is that from?

When he was done wrapping the healing slashes, Axel found himself tracing his thumb over the scar that ran up Rae's neck. Pain and sadness filled Axel's heart as he ran his thumb over the scar. Why does my heart feel so heavy when I see this scar?

"It must have hurt..." Axel could not explain why he felt so emotional upon seeing Rae's scar. Tears swelled in Axel's eyes, and he bent down and pressed his lips to the scar in a gentle kiss.

Rae's heart became still in his chest when he felt Axel's lips against his skin. Upon kissing the scar, Axel wrapped his arms around Rae in a comforting embrace. Rae remained frozen as Axel's warmth seeped into his body.

"How did you get the scar on your neck?" Axel inquired quietly as he continued to hold the colonel.

Rae swallowed dryly when he heard Axel's question. Normally, Rae refrained from discussing his past with others, but he wanted to share everything with Axel. For the first time in his memory, Rae wanted to open up to someone, to connect. So, he answered, "When an angel gets captured by demons and brought to Hades...the first thing they do is make sure the angel cannot access their sword. So...they cut it out."

A tear escaped Axel's eye as he remembered Aniela's explanation of angels being the hosts for their weapons and the connection the angel and weapon shared. That must have been so terrifying, Rae. To be alone, surrounded by enemies, and to lose a companion so dear to you.

Tears touched Rae's eyes when he heard Axel's voice in his mind. However, Axel was unaware that his thoughts had reached Rae. So, he continued without knowing Rae was hearing it all.

I hate that you had to endure that, Rae. I wish I could have been there with you. I wish I could have protected you. I don't know why I feel this way, but...I want to protect you. You've become precious to me.

When I saw you on the ground surrounded in blood, I thought I'd lost you. And that terrified me. I don't know what I would've done had you died.

I wish I had been born nine and a half centuries ago. Then, you would not have been alone for so long.

Axel had closed his eyes when he thought this, so he was unaware of the tears that were flowing from Rae's blue eyes. And he remained unaware until Rae turned to face him. Seeing Rae's shimmering eyes caused Axel's silver orbs to flutter in surprise. Why are you crying?

"C-Colonel, are you alright?"

Axel's eyes widened as Rae slid his hand to the back of the hangel's neck and pulled him close. Axel's silver orbs and Rae's blue eyes locked gaze as the two gazed into each other's eyes deeply.

"Thank you...for coming to me...Axel." Rae's voice was low as he added, "I don't think I can lose you, either. You fill my waking thoughts and make me long for you when I'm not by your side. I was meant to find you, and now I can't let you go. You're all I want, all I long for."

Axel's heart pounded in his chest as he listened to Rae's confession. Why is he saying this so suddenly? He was still shocked by the colonel's sudden confession that he did not expect what was about to happen next. Axel's eyes widened when Rae pulled him in for a kiss.

But the shock only lasted for a split second. The moment Rae's lips touched his, Axel melted. Rae's lips were softer than expected, and they were so captivating. Axel's eyes fell closed as he returned the kiss.

As the two continued the kiss, Rae split Axel's legs open and brought the hangel to straddle his waist. The colonel's sudden movement spiked Axel's heart rate, and his face turned completely red as Rae placed his hands on Axel's waist. After bringing the hangel closer, Rae deepened the kiss and brought his hand up to cradle the back of Axel's neck.

Axel's lungs felt as if they were on fire due to a lack of oxygen, but he did not break away. He loved the way Rae's lips felt on his, the way Rae's fingers slid into his hair, the way it felt to kiss him. And he did not want to give that up for anything. He would rather the world burn than be pulled away from Rae.

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