When we arrived back at the apartment, the sun was already setting.

Dean had drove us back to my apartment, but neither of us said a word. It felt like there was a toxic chemical in the air, and if either of us spoke or breathed it in, we'd die instantly. It was a terrible, eerie silence.

"Don't you have to go... home?" I asked, once we unloaded everything from the Impala. Dean had insisted on carrying in all the bags and setting them on the kitchen table, even when I protested.

"I don't have a home." He stated, bluntly. He avoided my gaze as we unloaded the bags, and placed them in the pantry cabinet.

"What about a job...?" I asked, hesitantly.

"I use too."

"Well, you gotta live somewhere, anyways. What about an apartment?" I asked again.

"Nope."

"Condo?"

"Nah."

I stopped putting the various canned items away, and turned to face him. He hesitantly stopped unloaded the bags, but he wouldn't face me.

"Look at me, Dean." I said, sternly. I was sick of this secret-keeping, silence-treating, bullshit. "Where do you live? Because, you obviously had to have spent your nights somewhere before here."

Dean still refused to look me in the eyes, but just shifted uncomfortably on his feet instead. "I live in the motel on the opposite of town. I told you that."

"No, you told me you lived on the outskirts of the west side. Which, I thought you meant the West Apartments." I recalled, frowning.

"Same thing," he muttered, pulling out a box of pasta from the bag.

"No. It's not the 'same thing.' If you want to be my boyfriend, you're going to have to be honest with me. No more secrets, no more silence, no more lies, just facts." I demanded, furrowing my eyebrows as I leaned my back against the counter.

"I haven't lied to you." Dean whispered, but it was so quiet, I could have mistaken it for the wind.

"Okay." I simply responded, too frustrated to say anything else.

"I... I'm just a little lost. And, I didn't mean to rush things with you. I just thought you could help me sort some things out." He said, finally turning his gaze to me. I had to turn away for a second to catch my breath.

Those green eyes get me every time.

"I'm glad to help you, Dean. But, you can't close yourself up like you did." I said, softly. I took a step towards him, a sad smile playing on my lips.

"I'll try not too." He whispered, his eyes softening. "As long as I can still be yours."

"Of course," I soothed. I took the last step forward, and wrapped my small arms around his waist, pressing my face against his chest. He fell against me, causing my body to warm from the inside out. He closed his eyes, as an airy sigh escaped his mouth.

Who would have thought that I'd be standing in my small, dorky kitchen being embraced by a man that makes me feel like this? No one has ever made me feel this safe, or even this happy before. Not this kind of happy.

I pressed tighter against Dean, the warmth of his chest causing my face to heat. No book or combination of words could ever describe what I'm feeling right now, and I think that's the only definition of love.

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"I think I'll go back to my motel tonight," Dean said, while we were eating dinner at the kitchen table that evening. I looked up from my plate and shrugged.

"I thought you wanted to go on a date or something tonight," I reminded him. Even though I was a little disappointed, I was actually glad I could spend the night by myself. I mean, I love him to death, but I'm not clingy.

"I know, I'm sorry. But, I should go back. I've probably messed up your life enough for the day." He muttered, pushing his empty plate away from him.

"Don't say that, Dean."

He just shrugged and stood up from the table. "Thanks for everything, Cas."

I quickly jumped up from the table when he threw his usual leather jacket over his plaid shirt.

"W-Wait, Dean." I called, hurrying to catch him before he closed the door behind him. He turned just as he grabbed the doors handle. I grabbed the collar of his old leather jacket with both hands. He stood there with his mouth parted while I waited from him to close the gap first.

"I'm giving you the chance to make a move, Dean." I hummed, a sly smile spreading onto my lips.

"Oh," he breathed, slowly leaning in to connect his lips with mine. He brought his hands down my sides as he deepened the kiss. I hummed against his lips; Dean was a much more passionate kisser than me. He almost tasted sweet, but not sugary sweet. Like, the sweetness from a strawberry. I sort of, really, loved every second of it.

"Cas," Dean sighed, pulling away from me.

"What?" I asked, trying not to sound disappointed.

"I need to go."

I frowned, releasing the grip I had on his jacket. "Can I see you Monday?"

Dean smiled lightly, and turned the door knob behind him. "Of course."

"Usual place?"

"Usual place."

"I'll see you, then." I said, quietly, a heavy feeling starting to fill inside me.

"Bye, Castiel." Dean smiled, slipping out of the door and closing it behind him.

"Bye..." I mumbled to the door. I frowned to myself for how I am acting. I thought I wanted space from him, but now I just feel empty.

I cleaned up the table, and walked into the living area to pick out a book. I aimlessly grabbed one and sat on the sofa, where Dean and I shared our first kiss.

I sighed, glancing around the silent apartment. It seemed to have an eerie kind of silence without the business that Dean usually created. I sank into the sofa, the heavy lead filling inside me again.

I wish I could just read what these feelings were, but sadly, they didn't have any reliable books on love. And, even more unfortunately, there isn't any books on Dean Winchester; The guy I fell stupidly in love with.

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A/C: well, this chapter was very difficult to write... It was sort of a filler chapter. Also, I'm typing on my laptop now (That's why it's spacing differently.)
Thanks xx