August 20, 2007

Cassandra glanced at L's reflection in the bathroom mirror as he picked up her sketchbook from where she'd put it on the nightstand. Her toothbrush hovered in mid-air for a second. She wanted to stop him from skimming through it, but that wouldn't do any good. He'd only take it at night when she slept and then confront her the next morning. Best get it over with right now. 
With a sigh, she continued to brush her teeth, eyeing L with growing anxiety. She hated how his expression betrayed nothing. He was a blank canvas. Deep inside, though, she knew a storm was brewing. Her drawings were... how had her doctors at the Glass House called them? Ah yes, 'deeply concerning'. And even though L remained as stoic as ever, he was just as troubled now as they'd been once upon a time.

Part of Cassandra wanted to employ the same tactic she had developed a month into the asylum when she found L checking her sketchbook, but he would've never fallen for that ploy. He knew her too well. Besides, it was hard to convince him her current state of mind was all kittens and rainbows when she'd woken up screaming in terror three times in the past week alone. 
Cassandra had the doctors fooled of her progress for quite a while, but the moment L had come into her life, that all went down the drain. Yet she didn't resent him for it. If it weren't for him, she'd still be in the Glass House. She'd still be the one they all looked at in pity and with fearful vigilance.

"This one is different," spoke L suddenly, his voice sounding much closer than Cassandra had expected. She again looked in the mirror, finding him in the bathroom doorway. He held out the sketchbook on a page where she'd drawn an object instead of the usual grotesque monsters and abysmal landscapes. "What's the significance of this?"

"It's just a notebook," she said with a shrug. 

"Nothing is ever 'just' something with you, Cassandra," remarked L. "Were you aware of drawing this? Did you see it in a dream?"

Cassandra pinched her lips. There the great detective went again. How she wished he would just stop investigating and analyzing everything. But the need for answers ran deep in L. She'd realized that long ago. 

"I don't know," she replied. "Could've been something I saw in a window display when I was last in the city with Misa."

"You don't sound convinced about that. This could be important, so please try to —"

"I said I don't know! Just leave me alone!"

Cassandra whirled around and pushed past L, flinging herself onto the bed. She gripped her pillow with both arms and buried her face in it. She didn't care if she appeared like a petulant child right now. It's not like it mattered what she did or didn't do, anyway. L only saw her as another victim in another one of his stupid cases. He'd never see her for what she could be. 
Even now, instead of trying to comfort her, L remained at a distance. Without uttering a word, he placed the sketchbook from where he'd gotten it and slouched toward the door, his footsteps barely making a sound on the carpeted floor. Bitter indignation filled Cassandra at his blatant departure. How could he? How dare he? After making her think that maybe... he actually...

Those first few days after Mercy's little excursion to the hospital had been the closest they'd ever been. L hadn't left her side for more than a few minutes every couple of hours to check on the others in the main office and had continued his own work in their room. He would join her in bed and hold her hand as she slept, all the while still tapping away at his laptop's keyboard with his free hand. Yet when she had a nightmare, he would promptly put aside his computer and embrace her, shielding her from her terrors with soft murmurs and tender caresses.
Cassandra would wake in his strong arms, her breasts pressed against his lean, firm torso, her leg between his, and their lips but a few inches apart. Most of the time, L had been awake and they would simply gaze at each other in silence. A few times, though, she'd found him sleeping. Only then had she dared to brush her mouth against his. Her kiss had roused him just once. The eagerness with which he had then responded with... It had devastated her when he'd eventually torn himself away, denying them both the pleasure of meeting in their rising heat. 

After that incident, C had decided to come out again, so that meant more blackouts and chunks of time that Cassandra was missing. She wouldn't have minded that per se, were it not that L's attitude had completely changed from that moment on as well. Things were even worse than before, with L putting as much distance between them as he could and only speaking to her when he deemed it necessary. He no longer held her hand or hugged her when she had another bad dream. One night, he hadn't even come up to the room. 
And try as she might, Cassandra just didn't understand why he was putting up walls. She'd asked Watari one morning after he brought up breakfast, but he'd only dismissed her concerns and said L had to focus on the Kira-case. Even her alter ego had neglected to reply to the notes she'd left, asking to let her know if something was wrong. They were purposefully leaving her out of whatever was going on, and Cassandra didn't like it one bit. In fact... she had enough.

Annoyed and deeply offended by L's indifference towards her, Cassandra scrambled off the bed. She threw a sweater over her head, stepped into her flats, and snatched her purse as she stalked after L. She slipped into the elevator just before it closed and stood on the opposite side of the square lift with her arms crossed over her chest. 
L's finger halted an inch away from the button for the floor of the main office. He cocked his head at Cassandra's impromptu appearance, his expression both surprised and rattled. Had she not been so angry with him, she would've found his confusion adorable.

"What are you doing?" asked L. 

"What's it look like?" she answered in a peeved tone. "I'm going out."

"Why?"

"Am I a prisoner here?"

"No, of course not."

"Then I can go outside."

"Yes, but —"

"Are you going to keep standing there like a statue, or are you going to push the button down?"

L frowned at her harsh tone, his gray-blue eyes narrowing. Cassandra shot him a glare, which finally prompted him to press the button. He shoved his hand back in his pocket and shuffled further to the right, making Cassandra scoff. Really? Was he truly that uncomfortable being in the same space as her? Well, screw him too then. 
The moment the elevator stopped and the door opened, Cassandra practically darted out... only to nearly bump into Light Yagami. She stumbled, and he took her by the arm to steady her. An icy shiver ran down Cassandra's spine at his touch. Her head jerked up. Their eyes met. Why did she feel like she was staring into the face of Death? 

"Oh, hey, you okay?" Light asked.

"Y-Yes, fine." Cassandra hurriedly stepped away, a faint blush on her cheeks. "Sorry."

"No problem." The brown-haired college student flashed her a kind smile. Then he noticed her purse. "You going out?"

"N-No. Or... yeah, maybe."

"Well, don't forget your umbrella. It's hot out, but it's been raining all morning."

It had? Cassandra beat herself mentally. She'd been so flustered from L's reactions, she'd completely neglected to look outside and check the weather before taking her stuff. Not that the rain bothered her. She preferred it, actually. There were fewer people outside when it rained, so less chance of her having a public panic attack. One of the perks of living in England.
Suddenly, a thought struck Cassandra. A completely insane and dangerous idea. But if it worked... She just had to be careful with what she said and did. 

"Actually, Light, I was kinda hoping you could come with me," said Cassandra.

"Huh?" His brow furrowed. "Me? You want me to... go out with you?"

L — who had been standing on the sidelines, following the conversation attentively — lurched forward and put his hand on Cassandra's shoulder. "Light can't leave HQ, Cassia. Despite his help in the investigation, he's also still a suspect."

Cassandra shook his hand off and stepped closer to Light, once again ignoring L. "I need your help with something, so would you mind? I doubt it'll take more than an hour or so."

"Um... I suppose not. Ryuzaki's right, though. I promised I wouldn't go anywhere unsupervised."

"What am I, baked goods? We can keep an eye on each other, can't we?"

L grabbed Cassandra's arm, squeezing hard as he pulled her away from Light. She met his stern expression with as much defiance as she could muster. 

"What are you doing?" demanded L, his voice low but urgent. "If there's somewhere you need to be, Watari can take you. Light is a potential danger to —"

"To who?" dared Cassandra. "Not you, since you insist on being chained to him for most of the day. Not C either, nor anyone else, it seems. Why would he be a danger to me then?"

"Cassia, I'm forbidding you to go with him."

The redhead wrenched her arm away from him and spat, "You do not get to tell me what I can and can't do."

L's eyes widened in consternation as she returned to Light, now joined by his father. Chief Inspector Yagami glimpsed at her and his son, a deep, worried frown across his features, but didn't say a word. Cassandra took her chance and drew Light away before either the Chief or L could cuff him up, guiding him to the elevator. L appeared frozen as they passed him, with only his eyes following them until they left his field of vision.
A pang of guilt made her heart twist, followed by a voice in the back of Cassandra's mind urging her to be careful. But while C told her to take care, her alter ego wasn't telling her not to go with Light. If C were as concerned about her actions as L was, surely she would've stopped her. That alone fortified Cassandra's resolve to see this through.

📓💀📓

Light couldn't believe his luck. He really didn't care what Cassia's motives were for choosing him of all people to go on a walk through Tokyo in the rain, as long as it meant they got a few uninterrupted minutes. This was his only chance, and Light wasn't about to blow his shot.
Two weeks he'd been biding his time, trying to get close to the young woman in growing despair. L was a fortified safe, a code too hard to crack, so if Light had any hopes of getting answers about what had happened, he had to talk to Cassia directly. But that was a lot easier said than done, especially since L locked her up in the tower, supposedly for her own protection. C had eventually come down with L after a few days, with an elaborate explanation about a malevolent spirit possessing Cassia, but Light didn't believe a word of it. They'd fooled the others, but not him. Not anymore. 

Looks like L asked Matsuda and Mogi to follow us, surmised Light, as he passed a window display and caught their reflection on the opposite side of the street. Strange he wouldn't send Watari. I thought he'd be more concerned about Cassia's safety. Or at least about me running. Then again... where would either of us go? If I run, it'll look like I'm Kira, and Cassia has C. Either way, we're bound to end up at HQ again.

He glanced down at the redhead holding onto his arm, pretending to adjust his grip on the umbrella. Cassia hadn't said a word since leaving the tower. Again, Light wondered about her. How much of an innocent was she in all of this, truly? 

"So," he began, keeping his voice casual. "What did you need my help with?"

"Hm?" Cassia look up, blinking away momentary confusion, as if she were only now remembering he was right there with her. "Oh, your help, yes. Well, I wanted to get something for Misa. She's been so nice to me, and I feel guilty for having broken off our shopping trip two weeks ago. I was hoping since you're her boyfriend, you could help me out?"

Well he sure hadn't expected that. "Oh, um... I suppose I can try. Misa has peculiar... interests, though. We might not find anything."

Peculiar was a nice way of describing Misa's interests. That girl has some seriously bizarre brain-quirks, and coming from someone who'd been working side by side with L for almost two months now, that meant a lot. But if pretending to be Misa's boyfriend — something he still didn't understand had actually happened — helped to gain Cassia's trust, Light wasn't about to claim otherwise. 

"You know," he said, "I think there's a shop close by that might have what we're looking for. You up for a visit? I promise it's not too crowded, and I'll be with you the whole time."

Cassia gave a curt nod, and what Light could only guess was supposed to be a smile. Come to think of it, he'd never seen her smile. Those few times the young woman had ventured into the main office, she'd always lingered near the elevator, quick to escape back up. Everyone had tried to talk to her, but gotten little to no reply. There was one thing Light had always noticed, though. 

"Hey, Cassia," he began as they turned a corner. "Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?"

She hummed, not really saying yes, but not saying no, either. Light took his chance. "You and Ryuzaki... you're a lot more to each other than you're making everyone think, aren't you?"

He felt her flinch, her nails digging into his arm as she gripped him tighter. He continued, ensuring he put the right tone to his voice to convince Cassia of his words, "It's just... I've been thinking about my own relationship with Misa. She can be a little crazy sometimes, but I still think she's the sweetest, loveliest girl I ever met. It kills me that I have to hide how I truly feel and act like I don't care about her, but I don't want to say or do anything that might inadvertently make people believe she's working with Kira, especially since we're both under suspicion. I was just wondering, if my assumption about you and Ryuzaki is correct, how you're coping with it all."

Light let the suggestion and question float between them, never once losing his pacing as they walked on through a little benched area with greens and a fountain. From the little he'd gathered about Cassia, he figured creating a situation similar to hers was the best approach. If he appeared to struggle in his relationship the same as her, she might just let her guard down and reveal something he could use. He just had to be careful not to say anything that would trigger C to come out and cut this little excursion short. 

Hang on, Light suddenly thought. Why hasn't C come out yet? Surely she'd perceive me as a danger, just like L. Would she really risk Cassia saying something that might jeopardize them? Unless...

Again, he glanced down at the girl walking with him. He was fairly certain this wasn't C. The personalities were far too different not to have noticed the switch when she was literally hanging onto him. There were telltale signs that this was still Cassia. Still, Light felt on edge. He wouldn't put it past the ghost whisperer to take control and pretend to be Cassia to lull him into a false sense of security. That'd definitely be something L and his partner would do.

But I can't stop now. This is my only shot at finding out more about who Cassia really is.

"I understand if you don't wanna talk about it," said Light then, heaving a weary sigh. "Or maybe you can't, considering... I just figured you may be the only person who knows what I'm going through right now, so... Hm, never mind. Forget I even brought it up. We're almost near the shop, I think."

Light kept looking ahead of him, expertly avoiding Cassia's wondering glimpse. Yet from the corner of his eye, he caught her biting her lip, as if she was holding back. Had he gotten through to her, after all? 

"What... What did Misa tell you?" she asked. 

"Huh, Misa?" Light pretended to act surprised. "We can't see each other unless Ryuzaki's present, so we can't really talk about stuff that matters. Why? Did she say something to you? Dammit, I knew this whole mess was getting to her."

"N-No, that's not what I meant. I'm sure she's doing fine. She didn't appear to struggle with anything when we went out."

"Really? That's a relief. But why did you ask about her then?"

Cassia's hands slipped away, and Light had to turn back a little to get her back under the umbrella. The young woman again nibbled at her lower lip. Then she looked up, meeting his expectant gaze with a quaint expression Light couldn't immediately place. It almost seemed like... she'd come to terms with something. 

"You're right, I do know what you're going through," said Cassia. "Ryuzaki and I met a few years ago during a case he was working on. He was undercover, so I didn't know he was a detective until he confronted me after... another death. He was convinced I had something to do with it. Until he learned the truth, that is. About me and C, I mean. And about... the actual killer. After he solved the case, he sought me out again."

Light kept a straight face, but his heart-rate had picked up at every word Cassia said. At every change in her voice. Now he just needed to hear her say it. 

"Did he return for you?" he asked. "Or was it C he really wanted?"

"C didn't become his partner until much later," answered Cassia. "As for me... I think you know what I am to him. Don't you?"

"I didn't want to assume. To tell you the truth, I never took Ryuzaki as someone who would ever date, let alone marry someone."

"Yeah, well... one could say the same about me."

There it was. He had them. Not only had Cassia confirmed she and L were married, but she'd also confirmed the one theory Light had been most anxious about. He hadn't failed to notice that slight quiver in her voice when mentioning the killer. Hadn't failed to notice how her eyes had hurriedly flashed down to look at her hands and legs, as if to check they were still attached to her body. As if to check they were still her own. 
Even if L was wrong about him, Light doubted very much he'd been wrong about Cassia. She'd been his suspect for a reason. And everything he himself had witnessed that day in the hospital and on that security footage...
It was as Light had feared — the greatest detective in the world was guilty of harboring a criminal. No way would he let him get away with it.

Thank you for reading so far. Sadly, this story - and the others on my profile - will now go on hold for the time being, as I must re-edit and prepare my novel for publishing. It wasn't an easy decision to make, but a necessary one, as I have to fully focus on the task at hand. Not to worry, though. I still have plenty of chapters planned here. For now, I say until next time. Your author, Lorraine xoxo