Unedited!
I try! Hopefully Enjoy it! Thank you!

This was supposed to be updated a while ago so sorry if it's not good I just kept on continue where I left off.

P.S Rewatching the Hazbin Hotel Pilot I found two Egg Bois making out! I thought that was hilarious! 😂

Bruce POV:

"I'm not trying to be a bitch to you but all the things I'm saying is trying to protect you! Are you hearing me?!" I yelled frustrated at (Y/N). She's been ignoring me since we left our job and made me hold her bag of pads when we swing by at the drugstore.

"Nope. You have the keys. Open the door." She rolled her eyes standing next to the door waiting for me.

"You look like a fucking penguin the whole walk back here." I angrily grumbled, as dig my hand in my pocket and pulling out motel keys. Before I go unlock door, (Y/N) rudely grab it out of my hand, unlocked it herself and walking in, carelessly tossing it behind her. I clumsily caught the keys before they hit the ground.

(Y/N) and I just got out work. I'm also really pissed at her for walking out that whore at the bar. We can't trust nobody here! It's fucking hell where all the terrible, lowest of the low and worse go! Damnit, (Y/N) it's not the same when we were living!
Closing and locking the door, I sighed annoyingly, "Be cafe... I just-."

"You want a water bottle?" She ask, holding up the large water bottle in her hand as she walk away from food pile that's next to our shared bed. We really need a mini fridge. We can't buy things that has to be refrigerated.

"Um no thanks-."

"Cool. It's the last one." She said as she firmly grasp the door knob that leads to the bathroom.

"Stop trying to-!"

"I'm going to the bathroom, mkay?" She opens the door and walks in.

"(Y/N-!"

Slam!

"What did I tell you about slamming the motherf*cking door! AHHHHHHH!" I threw the bag of pads at the bathroom door before flopping on the bed and continue screaming in the pillow.

Is it bad that I don't want us have any problems or mess with the wrong people in hell?! I don't think so! She just don't get it! She's lucky that I get lonely easily if not I would have kicked her ass out in the dirty streets of hell! "Sighs..." What am I kidding... I could never kick her out.... She means a lot to me even when she makes me feel like pulling my own hair out. I remove my face off my pillow to hear the water running from the bathroom. Is she gonna shower? That can be good. Maybe a shower will help her clear her mind.

30 minuets later

She's taking too long. She turned off the water like maybe 10-15 minuets ago but still haven't come out yet. I'm checking on her. I pull myself off the motel bed, taking my time walking there. I don't want to rush her or anything... I hope nothing is wrong with her inside of there.

"I-I-I'm... Sorry..."

What? I stopped in front of the bathroom door. I was about to knock on it until I heard her whisper softly, 'I'm sorry' in a shaky, stuttering voice. I put down my arm, furrow my eyebrows in worrying and puzzled. Is she talking to me? But why she saying it so quietly and softly.

"I b-been horrible to you..."

She whimpered out in a pain in her voice now. My heart aced hearing her like that.

"Ya-You don...don't deserve this..."

I haven't heard her that upset/pained in years. The only time I heard and saw her really upset was when the accident happened... That day change her so much...

"I-I promise... I promise I'll try my best t-to change!..."

Is she apologizing to me?... She's finally understanding our situation? That's good! But... I didn't wanted to upset her...

"This... this hurts so much..."

'I understand...' I thought. 'It been rough living down here in hell and settling here for the meantime. It's way harder here then what we were used to.' I frowned sadly and place my hand against the old cold chipping door of the bathroom.

"I.. I... I know... I know am-I—I'm... I can't even talk right... I'm awful... I been hurtful and abusive to you... I'm sorry... I-I-it's hard breaking a habit..."

You piss me off a lot of times and I feel like I'm not going nowhere with you sometimes but I could never ever call you abusive... Awful yes, physically and mentally hurt me Yes but not abusive. You're right about breaking a habit that your used to now. It's hard. But with help you can stop it, I'll help you. I'm gonna help you, (Y/N).

"P-p-p-please! I'm begging you!" She cried out loudly.

I'm listening, (Y/N). Please don't be sad... don't start crying...

"(Y/N) I-..."

BRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTT!!!!!

Plop.

"Oh sweet relief... finally ! I've been eating literally garbage a for a while now! I'm so sorry stomach... Ahhh... my asshole..."

What. The. Actual. Fuck?! I immediately start pounding my fist against the bathroom door loudly.

"What the fuck you doing in there?!" I yelled puzzled and mostly annoyed. What's happening?! One moment she's apologizing to me and another moment it sounds like she just drop a atomic bomb!

"Shut up! It's barely coming out!" She huffs out, panting a bit like she just ran a marathon.

"What are-." Then it hits me. "A-are you taking a dump!?"

"What else you think I'm taking so long!?" I'm an idiot. I feel like a big dumbass.

"So you're telling me that you weren't apologizing to me?!"

"Why do I need to apologize to you?! You're a man ain't you?! Act like one! I thought I was the only one with a pussy!A-actually I think you're the biggest pussy between us!"

That's crossing the line. "That's it! You're sleeping in the bathtub tonight!"

"There's no bathtub in here!"

"I don't care! You're not sleeping in the bed tonight!"

"Whatever! I'm used to sleeping on hard floors or in dumpsters! I don't need a bed!"

"Fine!"
"Fine!"
"Fine!"
"Fine!!!!"
"Fine!!!!!"
"FINE!!!!!!!!"
"FIIIINE!!!!!!"
"FFFIIIIIINNNNEEE!!!!"
"F-!!!!"

"Shut the fuck up! People are trying to sleep here!!" Yelled one our female next door neighbor on our left. Her high pitch squeaky voice is so annoying.

"Couples these days! So fucking annoying! Always fighting!" Screamed our right side male neighbor. He sounds like he's on crack again.

"YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP PRICK! THIS IS BETWEEN ME AND MY FRIEND! YOUR JUST MAD CAUSE YOU'RE ALONE AND SINGLE!" No, (Y/N) just no. Don't mess with crack heads. And we're both single...

"What did you said?!" He screech, banging his fist against the wall. I hate these wall. It can take a punch that's good but how is it still thin enough to hear the next door rooms?!

"Are you deaf too?!" (Y/N) huffs out. Bruh, you still taking a dump and your arguing with our next door neighbor? Just do one!

"Shut up!" I whisper yell. Hopefully loud enough so she can only hear.

"Drop dead!"

"Too late!" (Y/N) laughed. I face palm. She's didn't hear me or just ignoring.

"Hohoho! You walked yourself in that one Max!"

"Shut your mouth Karen! You're 'husband' left you high and dry! You can't talk!"

"You douche! He didn't! He just left to get something!"

"He basically did 'was going out for cigarettes' trick! Except he took all the money and kids!"

"He's gonna come back! He's loyal!"

"If you call that loyalty than I'm happy being single!"

"Good! Nobody wanna date a old fuck like you!"

I groaned in annoyance, rubbing my face, they're going to fight for hours again. I knock on the bathroom door and yell loud enough for (Y/N) to hear over our neighbors yelling at her giggling, "I'm going to bed! Don't come near me!"

"Heheheh! Okay! Whatever! Just shut up! I want to hear them!" (Y/N) was always a whore for drama. I am too but only on the TV or on the phone. Phone... we still need to get our own phone.

"Sighs..." I miss the days in after middle school we go to my house and watch Novelas. Maybe if if we're on better terms and have a phone or laptop we can binge watch Teresa, Rubi, María la del Barrio, Carita de Ángel, Lo Que la Vida me Robó, Amigas y rivales or La Tempestad. Maybe La Tempestad. It's both our favorite. She like Teresa and Rubi. Teresa and Rubi are not bad but I don't like the main characters that are golddiggers. I'm more into romance, drama or comedy. But gold diggers? No. Teresa ruined so many peoples lives and relationship to just get what she wanted but at the end at least she kinda learn a lesson I don't remember exactly. Rubi didn't learn her lesson and at the end she got deform, lost all her money, her beauty and love and somehow She wants to have revenge and make her niece that only one that cares for her do it?! I think. I just remember I got mad and try to flip a table to just throw my back out. I yawned, stretching my arms over my head, walking towards my bed. I need to sleep and hopefully those two stop shouting and my friends stomach stops acting up. I pulled the covers off and laid down on of the mattress before pulling the covers back up towards me. "Night (N/N nickname).... Love you..."

"I'm gorgeous, you bastard!"

"If you're so gorgeous why did your husband left you!?"

Those two... I close my eyes and just let the sleepiness take over me.

(Y/N) POV:
Time: 3:00 am

"Ah-Ah-Ah... my assssss...." I waddle down the somewhat empty alley way. I still going to that place that's hiring. Being constipated and on my period are the worst combination ever. Good thing Bruce left the pads at the door! I end up falling sleep on the toilet. I finally was able to take a proper shit when I was laughing hard at Max and Karen's arguments again. Those two say the stupidest thing over and over again and always fight over the same thing. It's sad and pathetic really but still entertaining. While laughing I didn't realize that it came out until I had relief on my ass. It still hurt but at least I pooped all that shit. I didn't even remember falling asleep, I only woke up when I fell off the toilet, I was probably trying to find something to cuddle with. I'm a cuddler, okay but if you point it out I'll get embarrassed and grumpily hug myself and don't say anything. I don't like lying. If I lie it better be for a job or a life threatening situation, or desperation that's it. If I don't want to tell the truth I stay quiet or try to dodge it. I like spooning Bruce or my body pillow. When I was little my dad and I had awkward side hug on the couch, that continue until I was a teen. Since he's gone I haven't had a family hug in a long time. My mom and older sister didn't like hugs and they even told me not to do that often... Bruce is the closest I have for a family now... my eyes softened thinking for all the hugs we had... Hugs to me can the most sweetest, comforting, loving if the person I give or received means something good to me but if it's fake, forced, and bitter.... Just don't... I rather be alone hugging myself.... hated hugs hurts... hurts just words... holding you in place, trapping you... making it worse and painful... constricting...

I need to stop! I need to find a guy named Sir Pent... Pen... his name is hard but I'm having trouble finding him! The address is blurry. "Hmmm maybe-."

Flop!

Thud!

Crack!

"Ow..." That what I get for not paying attention. I tripped on something. I quickly sat up. I hope nobody saw that I bellyflop to the concrete. Quickly pressing my thighs together. I can't have my legs open to long. Quickly checking myself I see nothing broke then what was that crack noise I heard?

"Geez! I'm crack!" A sad little voice whimpered behind me. I almost snapped my head to look behind me but I remember that I have stupid stitches in my neck and will rip if I move it too fast. Instead I quickly stand up and turned around to see who is crying to see a strange large egg rubbing his poor little head that is oozing a yellow substance... maybe yolk?

"Are you alright?!" Quickly at his side, ready to help.

"Don't kill me!" He flinch and jumping back from me when I was close to him. He quickly put his hand in his tiny front pocket and pulling out something black.

"What do you have in your hand?..." I asked in caution.

"A knife!" He yelled, waving a small switchblade.

"Nooooo!" Out of reflex I kick the blade out his hand sending it trust can behind him. I can since he didn't jump that far from me and he's really short.

"Bad egg! I'm trying to help you not hurt you!" I scolded at him, wagging my pointer finger at him.

"H-help me?..." He stuttered out.

"Yeah! I'm bad but not that bad! You didn't do anything to me besides the knife part. That was self defense. I understand." I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose. I shouldn't be to hard on him. It is hell and who want to help you? I use my other hand to dig in my back pocket for a small box of Band-Aids. Sewing takes time and it's hard for me to do it myself so if I have a situation that my stitches came loose and Bruce is not around I just use Band-Aids to hold in place until I find him.

"I-I-I don't know..." He replies back looking down, twiddling his thumbs nervously.

"Just let me try to fix your cracks. I have a box of bandaids in my back pocket." I said pulling them out.

"I- You have yellow?!" His tiny little yellow beady eyes sparkle when he saw the box of Band-Aids with multi color choices.

"I have the whole rainbow with me!" I giggled, lifting up the lid.

An half hour and a whole box of bandaids later

"I'm (Y/N)."

"Name's Egg Boi #(Favorite number)." He smiled snuggling closer to my chest. After I fix up his head as best I can with the Band-Aids that by the way looks like a unicorn barf rainbows on him, I offered to carry him and he tells me directions of where to go. He said yes and he wants to back to the 'headquarters' of his boss. He said it's temporary since his last place got destroyed by a girl name cherry bomb or something.

"Egg Boi #(Favorite number)?" I hummed. "That's my favorite number but why are you named that?"

"Yeah! I can't wait to introduce you to the other Egg Bois! There's Egg Boi #1, Egg Boi #404, Egg Boi #73 Egg Boi #555 Egg Boi #666 and Egg-!"

"Wait! Wait! Wait! Are you saying there's more of you guys?!"

"Yup! Our boss clone us!"

"Is he a Egg Boi too?"

"Nope! A snake!"

"A snake or snek?"

"Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm I don't know...."

"It's okay cutie." I peck his head causing him to giggle and bury his head between my breasts. I'm holding him like a baby by the way.

"Geez ma'am you're so nice!"

"Ma'am? How did you know I'm a woman?" I asked with a raise eyebrow.

"Why... I don't know! I thought you already look like a woman even if you have a little stubble!" He pulled his head off my breast and said that.

"The stubble? It wasn't my clothes?"

"Nope!"

" I thought you found out because you snuggled your face between my boobs."

"For a second I thought you had man boobs!"

"You're so weird!" I broke into laughter, stopping in front of a rickety fence in front of a somewhat decent house. "I love that!"

"That's the place!" He points at the house with a big smile on his face. I nodded carefully put him down and petting his back softly. "Alright! Oh by the way!" I pulled out his little switchblade out of my pocket and handed to him. "I got this out of the garbage when I was throwing away the empty box of Band-Aids."

"Thanks!" And quickly pockets it. He starts walking away before he paused and looked at me with curiosity. "Not to be rude but you were walking funny while you're holding me."

"Was I really?!" Damn it! I was trying to walk and normal as possible but it's hard when you have your period and constipated at the same time! "I just was having a little problem earlier that's why I was walking funny."

Before he could say anything I hear a loud banging, cracking and hiss noises in the house. I step to the side right on time when the door flight off and almost hit me.  Luckily it didn't hit Egg Boi #(favorite number).

"Sssssstupid egg fetuses! Fix thissss door this instant!" An angry voice hissed out. I gasped at the a demon snake that resembles a king cobra a lot with his hood up. His tail is massive with a lot of eyes! Can he feel through those eyes or see!?

"Woah! You're so cool looking!" I randomly blurted out. I caught his attention causing him to slither towards me and stopping right in front of the fence that was still closed. He glares at me and his top hat making the same expression. I gaped. "And whom are you?" He hissed.

"You're hat has a face!"

"Huh? I'm asking you a question you idiot!" He yelled out in rage and his hat is making a angry face now.

"It expression change!" I dumbly clap. I'm very easily amused by this hat! "Make another face!"

"Egg Bois kill this fool."

"Awesome! You made it look annoyed!" I squealed get in his face. He was shocked that I did that and backed up a bit that only made me to press my face closer to his. "I brought back one of your eggs Egg Boi #(favorite number)! I accidentally tripped on him and cracked him but don't worry I fix him as best I could!" I said as I pointed at him, that was waving his hands to the other Egg Bois.

"You brought back one of my Egg Bois?"

Before I could say anything I felt a sharp jab on my left butt cheek. " Zoinks!" I jumped wrapping my arms around the snake demons neck and wrapping my legs around his waist. "What stab my ass?!" I almost turn my neck too fast good thing I slow down at the last second to see a bunch of Egg Bois with weapons and one of them is flipping me.

In South Park Craig style flip him back.

"Little rude rotten eggs." I mumbled out pressing my cheek against the king cobra demon.

"Release me!" He yelled trying to shove me off.

"Oh by the way! Do you know where I could find this place?" I keep my legs firmly tight around his waist as I pull out the poster I found when I was going to work with Bruce from yesterday and shove it in his face.

He stops shoving and ripped the paper out of my hands and quickly looked over it.
"Thisssss is mine!" Before ripping it up. Eh I don't care.

"Really?! Cool! It's like killing two birds with one stone! I got Egg Boi #(favorite number) back here and I got to the place I was looking for!" I giggled. "Ssssssssooo can I get the job?" I probably was losing my hold around his waist because he managed to push me off of him and almost on top of the Egg Bois that still had their weapons.

"That was centuries ago you moron!" He hissed, dusting off his coat.

"Centuries?! Wait... how much is century again.... 10... no.... 20? Maybe 50?" I mostly mumbled to myself.

"One hundred, moron! Century-!"

"Daaang! You're really old!"

"Listen you-!"

"But you're still looking good!" I smiled and made grabbing hands at his hat. "Can I wear you hat boss?"

"Boss?! Oh nonono! I'm not hiring! The Egg Bois are enough!"

"They still haven't killed me like you ordered."

"Egg Bois! Can't you do anything right?!"

" The trespasser is too close to you boss we don't want to hurt you!"

"Doesn't matter now... I just came here to drop off this little guy here and get a job."

"I'm not hiring you! Now Scram! I'm a very busy man!" Shooing me with his hand.

I frowned. "Fine...." I turned around sadly and took three awkward steps until a random Egg Boi pointed at my butt and shout. "You really did a number on the intruder #12!"

"What? I poked the butt cheek. Not the center."

Oh no... Blushing brightly I quickly covered my ass with my hands. Did Bruce got me cheap pads or did it got moved to the side and I didn't feel it! Great idea for wearing a short coat this time me! And also I had to pick blue jeans too! "D-Don't look!" I stuttered out. I need to get out of here! Quickly waddling away with my hands still on my bum I stopped when I heard a voice hiss out, "Wait one moment!" And I stop. Calm down calm down just take a deep breath... I took three long breaths, feeling my face cooling down and finally turning around to face the king cobra demon that's slithering towards me.
"What in hell are you walking like that and bleeding behind there?"

I awkwardly rub behind my neck. "Umm... You see a bloody monster that comes after me once a month happened to me earlier yesterday and to make it worse a random beast came out of nowhere and messed up my ass. Heheh... even though I shouldn't be walking that much after that shit did a number to my ass but I was really determined-."

"You got raped?!" The Egg Bois gasped dropping their weapons. Really guys you were still holding- wait a second did they say rape?! No! No! No!

"What?! N-."

"You got anal rape but still you were determined to find our awesome and amazing boss Sir Pentious to give you a chance for working for him!" They cried, hugging each other. Sir... Sir what? How do you pronounce that? I need to hear it again.

"You must know how great he is if you went all through that and still decide to come over here!"

"Guys-."

"And that monster!"

I pinch my nose in annoyance. They are not listening to me. I should've just said straight out that I was just on my period and constipated. I open my mouth to say something until I felt a small hand pat my bottom softly.

"Sorry for poking butt.... We are evil but rape is never okay!"

"Don't touch my ass."

"Sorry again."

"Mister." Sir whatever's his name is decided to speak up. Well he thinks I'm a man. I don't care. I have stubble and everything. But the #(favorite number) found out I am a woman. I wonder how long with it take danger noodle to find out. "Yes, Sir PPppppp......"

"Sir Pentious or Boss is alright as well."

"Nani?!"

"What's Nani-Never mind that. Just for your information I'm just hiring you out of pity. I don't pity other demon often. Don't get used to it."

" I-I don't know what to say! Thank you so much!"

"Don't thank me. Just be here on time at five pm and you're done at midnight. You also regard to wear a uniform."

"Uniform?" I look around to see that the eggs and Sirrrr i'll just call him Pen are wearing matching outfits but the difference is that the eggs are wearing regular ties and he is wearing a bowtie and also he's wearing a cool hat that has a face.

"D-do I get a cool hat like you?!" My eyes sparkles.

"No! I have a limited clothing for you since all my other uniforms are in egg sizes so you're going to have one of mine shirts and coat and one of the Egg Bois hats. You're going to provide your own black pants. Got it."

"Aww okay. I'm (Y/N) by the way! Thank you." A little bit disappointed that I didn't got a cool hat like him but still I got another job! Couple of the Egg Bois went back in the house to get what he said and one of their tiny hats that was adorable. I quickly grab all the things about to thank him again but he was already back inside and would have slam the door if it didn't came off earlier. I'm just so happy! Maybe I should just do a little celebration all myself! Karaoke all by myself!

Bruce POV:
Time: 5am

"(Y/N) where are you?!" I yelled out for the fifth time. When I woke up early to check on her I couldn't find her in the bathroom, I got worried and been looking for her for a while now. Where can she be?! Right now I'm start to walk at the karaoke place that she been wanting to go hopefully she's right there making a fool of her self.
When I see it around the corner I suddenly see a bright almost blinding green light come out of nowhere behind the building! That better not be her! But I have a sinking feeling in my stomach that I should go over there where the light came from... jogging the rest of the way there and carefully poking my head behind the karaoke place there she was with her hair in a silly cartoon way to her side and her stitches slightly loose with slightly annoyed face.

"(Y/N)!!!" I ran to her and tackled her in a hug. She quickly put her arm down that was raised for some reason and wrapped around my shoulder.

" I was looking everywhere for you! Where the hell you been!?" I pulled back.

" I just decided to take a walk, go to karaoke, got kicked out and met a sexy red deer-."

"That's enough."

"You didn't let me finish you ass!"

"You're hair is kind of pretty even though it's kind a stuck in one weird position right now. Grab your hat that's behind you and that bag that whatever you have inside and let's go! We still have work!"

She looks at me grumpy listen to me anyways me, picks up her hat and bag.

"W-we need to quickly go back to the motel so I can fix your stitches and from now on you need to tell me where you're going if we're mad at each other or not!"

"You're not my mom!"

"I'm your Best friend and I care about you! Please don't ever do that again!"

"Humph."

"(Y/-."

"I love you Bruce... Thank you.. For being my friend..."

"(Y/N).... D-did something happened to you?"

"I'm still constipated...."

"Let's also swing by the store to get more water and chocolate laxative."

"Thanks."

Part Is 9: Toilet! Boi! Snek! Deer man! Yay!

4550 words! Did you guys ever realize that Sir Pentious and the Egg Bois are wearing the same clothes?! It's cute! Did you guys know what was the green light was?! Angel coming up again in the next chapter!