Knock...
Knock...
Knock...

" Bruce!"

Knock-knock...
Knock-knock...
Knock-knock...

" Yo Brucey!"

Knock-Knock-knock-knock... Knock-Knock-Knock-Knock-Knock... K-K-Knock. Knock. Knock.

" Brucey bitch! If you don't come out of your house right now I swear I'm going to kick this door down! I am counting to 10 and I'm kicking! 1, 2, 3..." Right after I start counting I hear footsteps coming closer.

" Don't you dare do that again! My mom got pissed off the other five times you did it! I can't afford to pay another door! Damn! You can't even let me change in peace! I only take like 10 minutes while you take like 5 fuckin' hours!"

"4, 5, 6, 7..."

"Are you still counting?! I told you I'm coming! I'm at the door! Don't you, I swear for real to God that I'm going to-..." Bruce finally open the door with a pissed off expression on his pale face. " fucki-". "8, 9, 10!". "Oooof!" I kick Bruce on the stomach pretty hard with my brand new black and white polish dress shoes that flew he right back in his house and landed on his back right on top of his little sister Princess Lego castle. I couldn't help but laugh at my friend face reaction.

Bruce didn't scream only let out a high-pitched fuuuuuuuuuck with a single tear going down his cheek. " Bah hahahah! Oh my lord! AhahAhah! You should look at your face right now!" I hold my stomach bend backwards laughing way too hard. I know stepping on a Lego hurts like a bitch but now imagine getting kicked on top of it, that must hurt like hell. But it's not my fault! Yeah sure I kicked him but I didn't know he's going to land on top of a castle of Lego! That's his sister fault! But it's hard to stay mad at her, well it's for me at least.~ She's just a little cutie pie just want to be a princess and marry a prince when she grows up.~ That's adorable.~ I just love playing dress-up with her and having a little tea parties. She knows that I'm a woman and that I love dressing in men's clothing. She just tells me that I still look beautiful even though I'm dress like a man and that one day I'm going to have my own queen or king that will love me forever. Squeal! If I somehow get married I hope I get a kid just like her the perfect little princess!~ And if I'm still not married I'll probably just settle down on my own and adopt a princess.~ After my laughter calm down I walked over to Bruce and just kick him off the Lego castle that's been already destroyed. Bruce let out a painful groan, landing on the side and mumbled. "(Y/N)... What. The. Fuck." I bend over so my face is hovering above his head with a shit eating grin on my face. " You're welcome.~"

" 'You're welcome?' YOU'RE WELCOME?! Don't 'you're welcome' me! Why the hell did you kick me?! I thought you said you're not gonna kick the door down if I open it before 10!"

" I didn't kick the door!"

" Yes, you were! You were still going to kick the door after you're done counting to 10! Good thing I was able to open the door before you broke it!"

"Brucey~ Brucey~ Brucey~ You know when I swear I keep my word.~ You open the door before I finish counting to 10, so I wasn't going to kick the door. But I still said I was kicking when I was done counting to 10, so that kick wasn't for the door that was for you.~"

"The fuck... You're an asshole..."

"Mhm. Don't forget smart ass, fine ass and you wish you could have this ass.~" I replied while I playfully smacking my own ass.

"Argh... I think I hurt my spine badly..."

" Walk it off! Today is a special day! You know why?! Because it's your bestest friend birthday!"

"You're birthday? Oh yeah. I remember. You're turning 21 ain't you?"

"21! Finally! I can get my own drinks now without you lying for me! I can get my own drink like an independent woman now! You know what?! I think I'll go to the bar right now!" I said fast and happily. I grab Bruce from the collar on his shirt and pulled him off the ground with a little of trouble but I managed to get him back on his feet. Bruce just looks at me with pure pain on his face. "Ahhh! (Y/N)! You could have been more careful! Hissss... Crack.... Ah... my back... you fuck it up for real... you motherf*cker...."

"What ever you do with your mother is your business!"

"B*tch...."

"What's wrong with a b*tch? I love them! Especially my little own b*tch Lil Mamàs." I replied while removing my black fuzzy backpack carefully off my back and held it up in Bruce face.

Yip! Yip! Slurp!
"Ah! Spit! You brought your little rat!" Bruce said in disguise, try to wipe off the drool of his face where my Lil Mamàs lick him. I got a bit annoy at him for disrespecting my b*tch.
"How dare you! Lil Mamàs is not a rat! She's the finest, the sweetest, the gorgeous, the most pure breed chihuahua I ever seen! Female dogs are the best! Don't ever disrespect b*tchies ever again!" I growled, holding my little light brown chihuahua close to my chest. She looks at me with her big dark brown bug eyes and lick my chin with a adorable little squeaky yip! after.

"... That not what I mean when I said b*tch to you earlier..."

"Doesn't matter! You still have to apologize for being disrespectful!"

"But I didn't-"

"APOLOGIZE!!!" I yelled, lifting my fist. I don't punch that hard, that's why I always wear my sliver brass knuckles under my leather fingerless gloves. Bruce knows that I always wear them when I'm going somewhere to have some fun.

"OKAY! OKay! I'm sorry (Y-..."

"Not to me jack*ss!" I shove my backpack to his face. "To Lil Mamàs! You disrespect her, so you apologize to her!"

"(Y/N)... She's just a-..."

"APOLOGIZE!!! REEEEEEEEE!!!!"

"OKAY! OKAY! Okay! Mamàs I'm sorry!"

"For what?!"

"Really? I already-.."

"REEEEEEEE!!!!"

" I'm sorry for disrespecting you, Lit Mamàs! You're the sweetest, finest, pure breed chihuahua I ever-..."

"Don't forget gorgeous~."

"I'm not-..."

"HERE COME THE FIST!"

"AND G-GORGEOUS CHIHUAHUA I EVER SEEN!"

"Hmmm~ So Lit Mamàs do you accept his apology?~" I ask my chihuahua sweetly. Lil Mamàs response with a slobbery lick on Brucey face with one of her cute happy bark.
"Awww she forgives you~ Be very grateful~."

"Ack! I had my mouth open!" Bruce said while spitting in disgust.

"Why the hell you had your mouth open? You should know by now my b*tch loves kissing you more then me!  That why I always get me tick off when you disrespect her even though she loves you! You better be clean. I don't want my Lil Mamàs to be getting sick. Right Mamàs?~ You get me worry when ever you get sick." I cooed at her while nuzzling my nose on hers.

"Her get sick?! What about me! That r-chihuahua could be dirty not me! Does she even have all her shots?!"

"How dare you! I treat her like a princess-no! A queen! I take her to her monthly doctor appointments! Give her baths 4 times a week! Feed her home cook dog safe food three times a day! Walk and play with her every single day! And give her my full love and affection!"

"... You don't even have a job... How?"

"Oh~ Brucey you already know where I get my money~." I said with a sly smirk.

"(Y/N). You need to stop that. You'll get caught or worse."

"Ha! Don't be a buzz kill Bruce! I know what I'm doing and I'm careful!"

"Sure. You know Felicia is still trying to find you?"

"That clingy whore is really still looking for me? Damn I just flirt with her a bit, tease her, compliment her outfit and I did that while she was on a date with her 'boyfriend' at the park! I think she's retarded. She dumps her 'boyfriend' right there when I a random stranger invited her for ice cream and maybe even a movie. I just did that so I can get her to pay for everything! She did pay for everything but didn't leave my side! She keep on following me after the movie, saying she wants me to come to her house for some 'alone time'. What the f*ck. We just met a couple of hours ago! She could have done that with her boyfriend but nooooo-..."

"It's kinda your fault."

"No, it's not! A normal girl I get gets stupid giggly, touchy, or sometimes annoy when I make my moves on them but after they find out I'm a jerk they just leave me or even slap me, but Felicia still stay with me after I tell her she's paying for everything and not share my popcorn with her!"

"Eh. Maybe you should talk to her?"

"I try! That whore just doesn't get it! I try being settle with her, but didn't work and she took me out to Red Lobster. I try yelling on FaceTime on phone, but she flash me with her oblivious fake tits. I try being full on dick on her when she found me at the park. I was there to get another girl but she came out of nowhere and sit on my lap when I was sitting next to the other girl on the bench. They both got pissed off at each other but the other girl just left while I was trying to shove Felicia off my lap! Felicia really thinks we're a thing! I even told her we're not! She just cried and said we are, she'll do anything I want. I probably would take advantage of that if she wasn't a retarded, whore."

"(Y/N) you're ranting again maybe we should-..."

"That's why I'm just avoiding her now! I block her on my phone and change my number- Oh, by the way here's my new number." I said in mid sentence, taking out a stick note out of my pocket, sticking it his forehead. "Don't lose it. And also I move out my old place."

"Wait, What?! Isn't that a bit to far?"

"Eh I'm not even home that often. I basically live in my car with Lil Mamàs. We don't even have that much things except my clothes and her toys. Plus it was just a rented room."

"That I was paying for."

"Now you don't have to pay for anymore! You're welcome~"

"You made me waste my money for nothing! You just said you basically live in my car more than your home!"

"Heh~ I didn't like the room anyways~"

Bruce look like he was about to punch me in the face.

"Hey! At least I'm not wasting the car you gifted me for my 19 birthday~"

"That car was a gift for ME on 21 birthday from my dad before he pass away three week later after my birthday! I just let you take it for a spin on your 19 birthday but never got it back!"

"Psh. I haven't crash it and I been taking good care of it! I deserve a car more than you!"
"You don't even work! I actually have a job!"
"You're so used to the bus already. Why have a car when you have a bus driving you to your job a block away~. And you don't have to worry about parking and gas money~. I'm even nice enough to give you my pocket change for the bus~. You're welcome~"
"I have to go up a rock steep hill to go to my Job after the bus drop me off."
"That why you have amazing legs~. I'm even a little jealous~."
"Get out." Bruce said, shoving me to the door. "Awesome idea!" I said, with a skip in my step. I warp my arm around his shoulders dragging him outside as well. "Least go out to the bar together! You pay since it's my birthday!~"
"Hey! Don't you want to get your drinks like an 'independent' woman now?"
"It's my birthday today! Be a pal and pay for my drink! I can be independent another day! I just want want to spend my special day with my one of my bestest friends."
"I'm your only friend. And I mean human friend, so don't bring your r-chihuahua into it."
"Me is very lonely.... sniff.. Forever alone..." I hiccup a bit.
"Eh? Don't get upset! Okay I'll buy a drink just because is your birthday! Okay? After that you're paying for your own from now on." Bruce said while patting my head softly. Hoping that I stop my crying. I just look him in the eyes since we're the same height and kiss his cheek. I laughed when I saw his face turn into a light pink color. "Thanks Brucey~ Lets stop talking and start going to the bar! You talk to much!"

"You were the one that talking too much." His pink face gone and now with a deadpan look.

"To the bar we go!~ Get in my car!~" I sang, skipping to the drive side of the black shining car. I don't what kind of brand is it. I just see a nice shining black car with white stripes on the side, black tires, a sliver bulldog on the front, four doors and a trunk. The inside is really roomy and the walls and floor are fuzzy red. Leather seats and old fashioned Radio. Bruce said it's a expensive car and try not even scratch it. But a car is a car to me. I keep all my stuff in my trunk and my b*tch stuff in the back seat. I don't let her be in the back by herself when the car is moving! She'll get toss around like a rag doll! She's always on my lap or in the backpack, strap with the seatbelt for her safety.

"It's my car! When are you giving it back?" Bruce said angrily but still got inside on the other seat next to me. I hop in my spot and pass my b*tch to him. "One day! Hold my chihuahua. And buckle up!" I replied, put the key in the engine hole thingy.

"Don't just shove the key like that! Remember my dad got me this car!"

"Remember your dad is dead! He'll never know!"

"(Y/N)!!!"

"What? It's true! He's dead! D-E-D. Dead! He's already 6 feet under the ground rotting in hell."
"You spell dead wrong. He's not rotting in hell! He's a good man and love his family with all his heart."
"Mhm. That doesn't mean he could rape your mom when he was drunk. I drink since I was 16 BUT I don't drink to get drunk, I drink to just have fun and let lose. I only got drunk twice in my life and the only thing I did was went to an Anime store buy a naked black butler Sebastian body pillow, carry that around the street for everyone to see since I opened right after I paid for it. I was 17 at that time and still going to high school! Everyone called me body pillow humper! I didn't even hump it! I was rolling down a hill with it and fell on top of the pillow laugh like a mad man!"

"Well maybe by a certain angle it looks like you were humping it?"

"The second time! I was 20, last year! My goldfish died! I had that fucker for 7 years and he thought he could just died on me?! He couldn't decide when he was going to die, I do! I decided when he's dying! I did everything I can to make sure he's happy, heathy, feed well and had clean water! How dare My Heart just die for all I did for him!"
"(Y/N). You can't decide your fish death or anyone/anything death."

"Yes, I can. I could of kill My Heart in so many ways but I decided to take care and love him. When I give my love, affection and attention to anything/anyone, I truly care for I'm making sure they never leave me. If they try to leave me I kill them, if they die on me I lose it and if I dying I'm bringing them with me if they want to or not. I swear on that."

"... Still can't believe you named you fish My Heart. That's a weird name."

"It's not! He was a sliver white with a gold on his back that looked like a heart!~"

"Really? It look like a butt to me."

"It was a heart! He was just the prettiest fish I ever saw! I really did love him. Every time I walked past his fish tank he would try to follow me!~ And He let my put my hand close to him in the water and even pet his head!~" I smile at the bitter sweet memories of my beloved pet fish My Heart. If only I know he was dying I would have kill him myself. " But anyways after his death, I burn body-."

"Why didn't just flush him? Wait never mind he probably won't fit your toilet. You could have burying him instead."

"I want him burn in Hell. When I die I now I'm not going to heaven. So I'm making sure I'll see him again."

"(Y/N) don't say that. You'll be in heaven!"

"Psh. Yeah, right. I'm going to hell with your dad."

"He's not in hell!"

"So after I burn My Heart! I left to get a drink to calm me down. I went to a new bar that just open but the bartender didn't want to give me anything because I'm 'under age'. So when he was not looking I ask a man to get me a drink. Big mistake. He got me the strongest one they got! Just two cups and I was drunk! He try to touch me but I broke a glass cup over his head and K.O. Ha! He got knocked out so fast, so pathetic! But I got kick out after that. Stupid men! That why I hit on girls! But only 18 and my age~"
"Do you think I'm stupid?"

"So, So~"

".........."

"I just wandered around for a couple of hours crying about My Heart, yelling 'My Heart is dead!', and some people felt pity for me and give me money. One even took me to McDonald's saying my heart will heal over time and try not to think about the dirtbag that hurt you. Heh~. So it was a bittersweet day, my fish die, but I got $54.82 and a McChicken for free~."

"......."

"I'm try to say I got drunk but I lose a bit of control but I still remember everything! I remember everything I did! Not right away but I remember! And while I was drunk I didn't feel like f*cking my wife when she didn't want to!"

"You don't even have a wife or a relationship!"

"You know my point!"

Bruce let out a long annoyed sigh.
" My dad felt terrible after he found out want he did..."

"Like in three days later..."

"Shut up! My dad give up drinking for my mom! He sleep on the couch for 6 months! Even with my mom said she was alright with sleeping with him in the same room. My dad cooked, clean, got gifts for my mom before and after work! My dad was pushing him self too hard every day for my mom even after she forgive him..."

"Well it's hard to forget a rape, Bruce. And plus I think it was harder for your dad to see your sister every day to remind him."

"Don't bring her into this!"

"Woah, calm down. I love your sister! It's never the child fault for their parent did. Selena is like my sister that I actually love! To your dad she's a reminder of want he did probably."

"My dad loves Selena."

"He has too. I would of be piss if he didn't. Any man that stick there dick inside a woman without condom or some type of protection, should be responsible and take of the baby. If he doesn't want to be in the baby life that's okay he have to pay child- SPIDER!!!!"

"What-OWW!" I may have accidentally punch Bruce on the face while I was panicking try to take off my seatbelt and jumping out of the car.

"Kill it! KILL IT!!! Kill it with a bottle of holy water! Please, just kill it!" I tremble in fear. I hate spiders! It's my number one fear! Big or small. Hairy or not. I. Hate. Them. Ever since when I was a kid one big red and yellow striped spider somehow got in my pants I couldn't stand them! I freak out and if nobody around to kill it, I look like a idiot going back and front trying to kill it with my shoe.

"Ahhh... My face... and you still had your brass knuck-Ah! I think you fuck up my face and back today..."

"Kill it with your face! Or your back! Anything! Just kill it! I hate spider!" I cried, rolling around the ground trying to take one my shoes off.

"Owww... wait a sec I- Where are you going you little rat?!" Lil Mamàs jump out of the backpack and Bruce hold onto the driver seat. She put her small front paws on the car wheel, looking at the slender medium size spider.

"WHAT! What's happened to Lil Mamàs?!" I shout with panic all over my face. I hope that spider did jump on her or worse bite her! I try standing up but I slipped on a crushed water bottle and fall flat on my face. *Ay... Mamàs... What she doing?"

"Um. Ow... She's-." Bruce eyes widen when the chihuahua just lick the spider and gobbled it up with a nah non nom like noise.

"Well?!" I finally stand up but my eyes are closed tight from the pain I'm feeling in my face.

"S-She jump in your seat and ate the spider...."

Screw pain my Lil Mamàs could be dying right now! I open my eyes ignoring the pain by doing so and scoop her up in my to my arms, to see her happily eating the spider with her tail wagging and making adorable nom noises.

"Bruce why did you let her do that! That spider could be poison! You have to take that spider out!" I love my b*tch but I'm not going to stick my finger in her mouth to take or even touch that spider!

"Relax. It's not a poison."

"You don't know that! We may have to go to the hospital or-."

"It was a daddy long legs. Those spider are harmless."

Daddy long legs? She love eating those little monsters. Those things was the reason I did like my room. There was so many of them but Lil Mamàs just ate them when she see one. I didn't want to keep eating those things so that why I live in my car. Now my car doesn't even feel safe now....

"S-Sure?"

"Yes. I'm sure."

I let out a breath I didn't know I was hold. "Good. So we don't have to go to the hospital."

"I think I need to go to the hospital... I think you broke my nose.."

"Shake it off!~ Shake it off!~ We already waste so much time!" I got back in the car, close the door, buckled up and pass back Mamàs to Bruce.

"What?! You were about to go for your r-chihuahua but not me?!"

"I hear you call her rat again! That gonna be your punishment! You suck it up and take the pain like a man like me!"

"You're crying!"

"I'm crying because I thought I was going to lose my Lil Mamàs! I had her for 10 years and she still acts like a puppy! Adorable~."

"You're weird and crazy."

"Thank you~."

"I was-."

"Sssssshhhhhhh. Sh. Sh. Shhh! Mamàs trying to fall asleep." Bruce looks down seeing the chihuahua was going to sleep soon. Doing a very ungrateful pose. Laying on her back, back legs open, front  paws on her chest, one eye close and the other a slowly closing. "Awww she's like a goddess from heaven~." Right after I said that she let out a quite large loud fart. "Perfection~." I whisper while lowering my window only. Bruce start exaggerating coughing and wheezing. "Open my window too! I can't breathe!" Finally starting the car and driving into the road. "You're fine. Her fart are harmless~" I giggled, I know my b*tch have the nastiest smelliest farts ever since she turn 5 years old. Good thing I have this clothespin on my side on the door for her little farts. I quickly grab it and pinch it on my nose when Bruce was to busy trying to open the lock window.

"(Y/N) I'm dying here! Agh! I think your r-chihuahua is rotting on the inside!" I smirk and close my window.

"What the fuck your doing?!" He yelled angrily at me. "I'm trying to show you it's not that bad." I said with a shit eating grin back on my face. "You're have some thing on your nose!" Lil Mamàs let out another fart much worse than the first one. I'm not gonna lie, even with my nose pinched closed I can somehow smell it through my mouth. It's so bad. "I-cough! Cough! Cough! Okay... but because the second one is worse..." I finally rolled both our window down. Bruce right away stick his out the window trying to breathe as much fresh air as he can. I try to keep a straight face on but I kinda want to do the same thing like Bruce but I'm not letting him prove me right about my chihuahua farts. "Damn... Finally... what's wrong with you?!" He yelled since he still have his head out the window.

"A lot of the is wrong with me, Bruce. A lot of things."

"Agh...."

"Let stop talking, relax, listen to music, we're still going to the bar still! After a quick pit stop so I can change of course~" I said quickly looking down my clothes I'm wearing right now. (Picture above of the women wear men clothes.) It got a bit dirty when I jumped out of the car. "(Y/N) what about-."
"Problems later! Fun now! Don't worry! I know your mom is working right now, your sister is at ballet class right now, father 6 feet under the ground! You don't work today, your free right now! Relax! I make sure this day is the most exciting, funnest of our lives! Again don't worry. Nothing bad is going to happen to us~. No matter what happens we're in this together.~"

4542 words! Wow. That's so much. Well for me. What do you think? Thank you for reading my story! Vote and leave a comment! I just started getting into Hazbin Hotel last month! I love Angel and Alastor. I'm going to change some things, okay?