Castiel

Cas's eyes open slowly. It's late; the sun is already visible in his east-facing window in his bedroom. He's never been able to sleep this late; insomnia rather likes him.
As he contemplates this, a huge racket can be heard from the kitchenette down the hall, which Cas can only assume is Dean making breakfast.
He pulls on his coat and shuffles out of the bedroom.
"Heya, Cas!" Dean chirps cheerfully, scrambling to pick up the pots and pans littered on the kitchen floor.
"Um, hi, Dean..." Cas says awkwardly.
"Jesus, Cas, it's barely 7, why the hell do you have your trench coat on already?"
Cas stiffens ever so slightly, but enough to where Dean can tell to back off.
"Not that I'm judging you or anything, it's just...odd."
Cas nods, noticeably put out. He forces a smile despite himself, and starts to unpack the small suitcase he brought with him. He was originally going to sleep at home, and keep his stuff at the dorm, but now that Dean was here...
"So do you want like, eggs, or what?" Dean calls, examining the frying pan he held in his hand as if looking for an 'on' switch.
"I'm good, thanks," Cas replies easily. He's had too much practice at refusing food to quail at Dean's question.
"You sure? We got class today and I don't want you like, passing out or anything." Dean persists.
"I said I'm good," Cas replies, a little strained. "Maybe later," he tries to make up for his earlier snappish-ness. God, is this how it's going to be? Cas thinks, mind working into overdrive with catastrophic possibilities, He's already asking about the coat and the food, it's not even the second day! What am I going to do?! Maybe I should just go home, drop out, it's not like I'm going to amount to anything anyway-- Dammit! Why did it always have to lead there, why does every thought of his eventually turn out to be self-deprecating? Cas sighs and shakes his head. He's already 100% done with the day and school hasn't even started yet.
"All right." Dean shrugs and tosses the pan into the sink with a clang, jolting Cas from his runaway freight train of a mind, "Screw that, cereal is calling my name."
Cas smiles into the suitcase he's leaning over. God, Dean is so freaking adorable.
But he was obviously straight. Right? I mean, gorgeous jawline, blond hair, forest green eyes--the ladies must be all over him. Cas decides not to worry about this right now, and instead turns his thoughts toward school.
God, school. If  that wasn't anxiety-inducing, Cas didn't know what was. All those noises and homework and people and teachers and students and just people--Cas suppresses a shudder. He can do this. 'This too shall pass', is a quote that he always repeated to himself. Whether it be sadness or joy or fatigue, everything ends. It was reassuring and disconcerting at the same time.
Cas is suddenly aware of Dean's eyes on him. He freezes, realizing that he's been staring at a picture of his family and his brother Luci. (A/N: Lucifer's name has been changed to Lucius for the purpose of this AU, just to make things more realistic) It was the last time they had been together as a family before Luci was estranged. He turns to face Dean.
"Yeah? S-sorry, we're you talking to me? I wasn't paying attention, sorry," Cas internally cringes at his repeated stuttered apology. Smooth as crunchy peanut butter.
"No, no, you're good...I was just asking you about that guy in that picture, is he like, your brother, uncle...?" Dean trails off, his right hand gesturing vaguely in the air beside his head.
"Brother." Cas states shortly. "We don't...we don't talk anymore."
Dean nods, looking as if he wished he hadn't asked. "Oh, well...that sucks. Why, what did he--"
"We don't really talk about that, either, Dean," Cas snaps, slightly impatient. Didn't this prick know when to back the hell off??
Dean raises his hands in surrender. "Sorry dude, just asking. So...wanna get to class, or do you plan on sitting here unpacking and repacking your bag all day?"
Cas nods and leaves to his room to get dressed. He couldn't decide if he liked Dean or not. Sure, he was hot as hell and twice as interesting, but he was also nosy and didn't seem to read people very well. Cas wasn't sure if he could trust Dean with any sensitive information. Not that he'd tell him anything...but God, he wanted to. He was tired of lying, but he didn't want to tell the truth either. I mean, how does one bring that kind of deep shit up in a conversation? "Speaking of Latin verbs, did you know that I have depression and cut myself? While we're on the topic, I also starve myself and hate myself. Good talk. So what did you get on problem #6 for Calculus homework?" Cas snorted at this. Yeah, that'd go down well.
Cas slipped on his clothes from yesterday, not really bothered enough to hunt down a change of clothes. He tries not to let his eyes linger on the scars covering his legs and arms, but he sees enough to basically ruin his day.
Cas sighed, turning to face the bathroom mirror. He wasn't even fully aware of how he got to be standing there, it kind of just happened, but now that he was here, it was impossible to leave. He took off his trench coat again, examining the marks on his arms and studying his reflection.
Where most people saw thin arms and angular cheekbones, Cas saw cellulite and a moon-shaped face. Where most people saw ribs showing through his thin T-shirt, he saw a pouch of stomach fat sticking through the fabric. He sighed again. He knew how he probably looked to other people, but damn if he couldn't see it himself.
"Cas, what's taking so long? We're gonna be late, dude," Cas hears Dean's voice coming down the hall and quickly slips on his coat once more and rushes to the door. He arrives just as Dean opens the door and they jolt back awkwardly in surprise, Cas losing his balance and tripping backwards on a stray book and nearly crashing down. Dean's arm shoots out and grabs his wrist, keeping him from falling but in turn sending trails of fire down his arm where Dean's fingers gripped his cuts. Castiel hides his gasp of pain in his startled yelp from falling. Dean pulls him back up, paying no attention to the smaller man's arm (Cas thanks God for this small mercy) and pulls him close--probably, Cas realizes, a little too close (not that he was complaining)--to make sure he doesn't fall again. Cas inhales sharply again, but this has nothing to do with the residual pain on his arm. He was sure he was blushing like hell, but hopes he can pass it off as embarrassment from being so klutzy. Dean and Cas stand there for another few seconds, awkwardly holding each other, when Dean clears his throat and lets go. Castiel realizes that he had grabbed Dean while falling and he had yet to let go. Cas disengages and runs his hand through his already messy black hair and laughs nervously.
"Well, that was awkward.." Cas says, forcing a smile.
"No, not really, actually," Dean replies easily, looping an arm around the shorter man's shoulders. "Let's hope you don't fall again, ya dipstick."
Cas laughs again, more giddy than nervous this time, and leans into Dean, savoring the feel of his muscular side and warm body; however, Dean was already pulling away and Cas nearly fell again, but regained his composure before Dean saw.
In spite of Dean pulling away, Cas felt a happy, warm feeling in his stomach paired with a jittery excitement in his chest. The latter felt a bit like the constricting anxiety he usually felt, but...lighter. Maybe his day won't suck after all.

***

Dean

Dean strides ahead of Cas so that he wouldn't see the worry creasing his features. Dean had seen the cuts along the Novak's arms when he pulled him up. That was actually the whole reason he reacted so fast when Cas was falling: he wanted to have an excuse to confirm his suspicions surreptitiously. Dean doesn't know how to deal with this. Hell, he didn't know how to deal with this when Sammy was struggling with this, this self-harm behavior, and that was his own brother. How was he supposed to help this angel of a boy?
Angel...what? Dean pushes that thought away; there were more pressing matters at hand. Like how the hell he was supposed to bring this up.
Dean sighs as he hears Castiel trotting to keep up with him. He was going to sleep on it, maybe ask Sam for some insight. Hopefully, he could get through the school day without incident.