Dean

Dean is sitting at his desk in his small dorm room poring over a little leather bound notebook.

In this very notebook is a bucket list of things to do before the ten months are up and Dean will lose Cas forever.

On the newest page is written,

Day 50

Love someone in need.

Dean sighs, thoroughly depressed by the prospect. Cas was the most obvious candidate for this particular item, but Dean was having trouble imagining what else he could possibly do to show Cas he loved him. I mean, isn't selling one's soul to the king of Hell himself be enough??

What about Sammy? Dean considers.

Dean has to admit, he's been neglecting his kid brother. Maybe he should call him up today. Or even better, utilize his Christmas break and pay him a visit.

Dean felt uneasy when he thought about leaving Cas alone, but even more uneasy about bringing his boyfriend home to a strictly traditional father.

Dean jumps when he feels breath whisper in his ear, and is pleasantly surprised when he turns to see a blue eyed beauty in his face.

"Cas, dude, personal space. We've talked about this," he jokes, but leans further towards Cas to kiss him, closing the journal while his boyfriend is distracted.

Dean disengages first, "Hey, Cas--"

Cas kisses him again, cutting him off, smiling into the Winchester's lips. "Yeah?"

Dean pushes him back lightly, his voice taking on a serious tone.

"No, Cas, listen."

Cas pulls back, visibly concerned. "Are you okay? Is this about you wanting to check me? I'm clean, don't worry," he reaches for his frayed sleeves, pulling them up halfway before dean stops him.

"No, dude, you're fine. I trust you. This is about Sammy."

Cas nods, shaking his sleeves back into place. "Yeah? Is he all right? You told me he was like me...is he not doing well?"

Dean shakes his head, "No, that was years ago. He was about 13 at the time when it was worst. I just feel like I've been neglecting him; I haven't called him since the day you were admitted. I want to drive down and see him."

Cas nods enthusiastically. "Yeah, sure. Do what you need to, he's your brother. Anything for family, right?" His voice drops when he says the last bit, but he recovers. "What's holding you back?"

Dean inhales sharply, getting right to the point. "To be honest, I don't feel like I can leave you alone. I know, you're clean," he adds when he sees Cas's mouth part to interject. "but I know that you get night terrors and that you're only a few weeks clean, and I just don't feel comfortable leaving you behind. What if I left and came back to something horrible? I can't take that risk."

Cas nods slowly. "So...what are you suggesting?"

"How about you come with me? Meet the family, chew the fat, do some male bonding or whatever people do when they bring their boyfriend home."

Cas breaks into a smile, which lights up Dean's heart. "Yeah, sure! That'd be great! I'd love to meet Sam and your dad and--" Cas's face falls when he realizes. "Oh...he doesn't know about me, does he? About us..."

Dean sucks his teeth. "Yep. That's the main issue."

"Well, you want to know what I think? Fuck it. He's going to have to find out some time, and I'd rather it be on our terms, you know? What's the worst he'll do?"

Cas must have been able to see the fear on Dean's face because he quickly backtracks, "Never mind. From what you've told me, he's kind of an ass. But don't let that get in the way. I love you, and hopefully you love me--it would makes things awkward if you didn't, haha--and so we can get through this. I want to do this. I want to be more than your secret lover, Dean. I want to meet your family and be friends with your kid brother, and I want us to be real, you know?"

Dean nods, the decision settled. "How about you go and pack, and we can leave tomorrow morning?"

Cas nods back, a smile playing on his lips as he exits the room.

***

~the next morning~

Castiel

"You ready?" Dean shouts from his room, throwing on his jacket and hefting Cas's small suitcase into the scant pile of stuff they were taking with them.

"Aye, aye, Captain!" Cas shouts, laughing.

"Okay, no more cartoons for you. Spongebob references are where I draw the line, my friend." Dean rolls his eyes, smiling nonetheless.

After about 30 minutes of driving, the two pull up to the Winchester's house.

Cas takes a deep breath, forcing his anxiety down. He has to appear somewhat stable for Dean's family. He pulls his sleeves down, scratching at his forearms through the fabric of his trench coat.

Dean opens the door, shouting a greeting to his brother, who was at the top of the stairs.

"Dean!" Sam flies down the stairs, throwing a bear hug at his brother.

"Shit, Sammy, you've grown like three inches!" Dean says incredulously.

"Yeah, someday I'll be taller than you!" Sam teases.

"Not gonna happen, kiddo." Dean ruffles Sam's hair.

"Hey, is this Cas?" He says, peering at the man still standing on the doorsteps.

Cas nods, unsure what do to with his hands, "Yeah. And you're the famous Sammy Winchester?" He tries to throw in a joke to break the ice.

Suddenly, everyone goes quiet as a gruff man enters the room, swaying a little.

Cas opens his mouth to greet him, but is cut off by Dean.

"Hey, Dad. Um...this is Castiel. He's...he's my boyfriend. I, ah, thought I could bring him by to meet you, and--"

"He's your boyfriend?" John slurs, visibly angered.

"Um, yeah. Jesus, Dad, it's only 11am. A little early to be toasted, you think?" Dean snaps back, emotion boiling to the surface.

"Shut up, kid. I didn't raise you to be a back-talker as well as a fag."

Cas watches as Dean steps back, wounded.

"Actually, Mr. Winchester--" he tries to interject, but John interrupts.

"Shut up, queer. I'm talking to my son, if I can even call him that anymore," John sneers at Cas.

Cas feels tears prick at his eyes. How could things be going so bad already?

It's because of you, you idiot. You always manage to fuck things up somehow. Cas's vicious inner voice scathes. He forces it to shut the hell up, because there are currently higher priorities than his self esteem.

"You know what? Fine. I'll leave. I came down here to say hello to Sammy and to introduce the love of my life, not to ask for your permission like I'm some goddamn kid!" Dean shouts at his father, his face a spectacular shade of red.

Suddenly, things move too fast for Cas to see and the next thing he knows Dean is knocked across the room, his hand clutching his left cheek.

"I don't fucking care if he's the 'love of your life'," John shouts back, "he isn't welcome here and neither are you until you get your shit together and stop fucking around with faggots!"

Anger flares in Cas's chest, heat rushing to his face.

"Look, John," Cas hisses, eyes narrowing with hatred, "I can respect you for being the man who fathered my boyfriend, but I can't stand for you hurting him any more. We're leaving, and we won't back--"

Cas hears a dull thump and goes flying across the room, a red hot flower blossoming in his cheek.

"All you faggots better get the hell out of my house!" John roars, his intimidation slightly muted by his swaying body.

Dean flashes a look of murder at his father before helping Cas up, momentarily exposing his wrists.

"Cas..." Dean whispers as he catches sight of one of the cuts that slid into view. "Why...?"

Cas shakes his head, almost imperceptibly, mouthing later at him.

The two stand to leave when Sam, almost forgotten in the chaos, clears his throat.

"Well, I guess that's me too, isn't it?" He says, plastering a watery smile on his face.

John whirled around as all three men say, "What?!"

Sam nodded, his face set in stone. "Yep. No room for fags here, better pack my bags. I'll miss you." He adds sarcastically.

Cas looks from Dean to Sam to John, confusion buzzing in his brain.

"You're gay?" Dean asks disbelievingly.

"Trust me, it's not how I wanted you to find out," Sam says bitterly.

John breaks out of his stupor and yells again, demanding every fag leave his house immediately.

"Pack your stuff, Sammy," Dean says quietly. "You can stay with me and Cas until we figure something out."

Sam's face is washed with relief, and Cas experiences a surge of love for Dean and his selflessness.

"I'm leaving, and when I get back every HIV infected, cock-sucking, scum of the earth queer better be off my property before I pump them full of lead!" John roars, storming off to his car dressed in just a dingy bathrobe and slippers.

Dean inhales and Cas watches as his face changes to big-brother mode, full protectiveness engaged. It was pretty hot, actually.

"Okay, I don't know how long he'll be gone, so let's get your stuff, Sammy, and I'll work something out with the college dean. I'm legally an adult, so they should let you stay with me, probably not on campus though. All right?" Dean smiles warmly at his brother as he hurries up the stairs.

"Cas..." Dean turns to face his roommate with a sad expression on his freckled face.

"I know, Dean. I'm sorry. I was stressed last night, and I...I honestly don't have a good excuse. I'm sorry," Cas hangs his head, guilt and self hatred coursing through his system.

Dean nods and sighs defeatedly. "It's okay. We'll figure something out. May I ask what you did it with?"

Cas opens his mouth to reply but is interrupted by Sam clunking down the stairs with his suitcase.

"Okay. I'm ready."

"That fast?" Dean asks incredulously.

"Yep. I've had it packed for a few months now, I just had to add a couple things to it." Sam's face is grim, all happiness gone.

"All right. Well, that's settled. You okay?"

Sam nods, but his tear filled eyes betray him.

"Come here," Dean opens up his arms and Sam doesn't hesitate before running into them, and Cas is sure this is only one of many times Dean had to pick up the pieces that John broke Sam into.

Cas stands there awkwardly until the two disengage, Sam managing to smile a little more.

"So, if you don't mind me asking, who's the lucky guy?" Dean asks, a smile resting on his perfect lips.

Sam blushes dark red before stuttering, "H-his name is Gabe."

Cas does a double take, "Gabriel Novak?"

"Yeah, how'd you....shit!" Sam exclaims, "He's your brother?!"

Dean looks at the two of them before he busts out laughing. "Jesus fucking Christ, I don't even know what to say!"

Dean stops laughing as he realizes something, "Wait, how old is Gabe? He's Cas's older brother..."

Cas hurries to clarify before Dean can accuse his brother of pedophilia.

"Dean, Gabe is only one year older than me. I'm almost 18, I started college early. He's almost 19, and Sam is 16. It's about three years age difference, and in Kansas consent age requirement is 16 years of age when having intercourse with someone under 19. It's perfectly legal." Cas explains, hoping to settle things down.

"Jesus, Cas, who said anything about intercourse?!" Sam exclaims, his face turning beet red. "He's just my boyfriend. Plus, I'm ace, so that kinda rules that kind of thing out."

"Asexual, meaning no feelings of sexual attraction," Cas clarifies for Dean, who looks thoroughly confused.

"And how did you know all that about consent laws?" Dean sputters out.

"I knew Gabe was seeing someone younger than him, but he wouldn't tell me who. I just researched for him so he wouldn't get in trouble should he choose to have relations with his partner." Cas says. "Everything is all right, Dean."

Dean is quiet for a moment, trying to figure out what to say. He gives up, clapping his hands together and says, "Hey, how about we go out and have some pie? I would kill for a slice of apple pie, how about you guys?"

Sam nods enthusiastically along with Cas, the latter's stomach twisting at the thought of eating.

The three suddenly fall quiet when they hear John's car rumble in the driveway.

"Shit, guys, let's go!" Sam yelps, grabbing his suitcase and flying into the backseat. The car squeals out of the driveway and back to safety.

Day 50

Love someone in need.

Check.