"I'm sorry, Zayn. I'm so sorry."

I cross the empty street and walk towards the gas station, my watery eyes blurring my eyesight. There's only a few cars parked there, but other than that, everything is deserted. Where was Gemma taking me?

There was no words to describe how stupid I felt, how could I have just trusted Harry and Liam more than Zayn? This had to have been a setup of some kind. What a coincidence that Gemma had been in a relationship with Zayn at some point, what a coincidence that she just so happened to want to help me, a complete stranger. God, why was I such a fucking idiot? Why was it so easy for others to see my life more clearly than I could? What had happened to me?

"You don't know what I've been through these few hours. Why did you do this to me?" his voice cracks and I know he has too.

This was all such a bad idea. Fuck, it was a bad idea.

"Please let me come home."

He sniffles. "Liam has sent someone for you to the street you gave me. You'll be home soon. This is your home, where you belong. I don't understand, Anastasia."

"Harry told me about Amy and you talking, I assumed the worst."

"Harry told you? Amy is gone, she's not ever going to be a part of my life, you should know that. I'm fucking insane without you here, fuck!"

There's more glass shattering heard and I can hear him cursing at someone, probably Liam. He's really pissed off. All I hear is his enraged murmurs and more glass breaking, I can't imagine what he's done to the apartment. I need to prepare for the worst. I need to make sure that I'm prepared to see the apartment in complete pieces. I know him. I know how much he's holding back right now.

"I want you home right NOW. I want you here RIGHT NOW. Do you know how fucked up this is?!"

An old woman looks at me with sympathy as she walks into the gas station and I wipe my cheeks. "I know - fuck - I know..."

"No, you don't know. You just left me here! We were going to fix things. We were going to be better. We were going to do all this shit! And look at what you did instead!"

His voice is breaking my heart and I can tell it's difficult for him to speak to me right now. It dawns on me how much I've fucked us up, but he's at fault too. Even if I know in the back of my mind that it's wrong of me to blame others for my own choices, I need to take responsibility and just face the consequences. I was a liar, a damn good one, but now what I had become was way worse, I had become the fake victim. I had become the girl I hated. The girl who blames everyone else for their problems and the girl who just keeps crying wolf.

"Are you listening, Anastasia? You're not leaving my sight after this. Liam! Where is Anastasia's car? You better fucking hope she gets immediately!"

Is he drunk?

"Have you been drinking, Zayn?"

I'm fearful of his answer, him being drunk could just make me going home much more complicated. Everything he does is more extreme and harsh when he's drunk, as if a sober Zayn was any less intimidating.

He chuckles darkly, "What do you think? I can't handle this, you know I can't. You left me just like everyone else has."

It hits me.

Zayn let himself get attached to me and took shelter in my promise of never leaving him, because his family did leave. He trusted me because everyone he cared about decided to stay away from him when they stopped liking the person he is... I promised I'd always stay with him.

Maybe this is complicated for me to understand because my dad was there, my mom was too for a bit. I grew up abandoned, yes, but did it count when I had my dad somehow? Was his checkbook, his bank account, and his endless spending budget for me more present than he was?

So I guess I was still a liar, now even subconsciously.

"I thought you didn't love me anymore," he whispers, "I thought that was it."

"That's not it, you know that I love you. Adore you. No one else, you know that."

He sighs, "I just want you home. I feel so fucking alone. You're my other half. I need you here to be me, when you're not around me I'm a big fucking mess. I don't even know what I'm doing, Ana. Is this how bad it hurts? Is this how bad it'll hurt when you leave me and never come back?"

"Don't say tha-"

"Just come back, okay? We can get married. Start a family somewhere far away from here. Anywhere you want, baby. Anything you want. I just need to feel you close right now, I'm going crazy not being able to touch you."

"I'll be home soon, okay? Really soon."