"Do you know you hurt me?" Anastasia walks into the room teary eyed, but despite that, she has the most unreadable look on her face.

"I hurt you?" I sit up on the bed, looking through my phone, pretending I have no idea what she's talking about.

She sniffles.

Fuck.

"Why do you have to do that? You fuck me and then just leave me there, you make me cry and you like... you enjoy it. Do you know what happened today? Do you really understand the severity of what happened today? Or is it just whatever to you?"

I fuck with her even if I know she's serious. I just can't handle how tense the room is with her in it, even if I need her in here with me.

"I don't know, Ana. I get it, alright? I'm sorry. What can I do? Apologize? You're not going to forgive me, so what difference will it make?" I immediately feel guilty when I see her expression fall, "Look, I am sorry, okay? I do understand."

Even if she thinks I don't care, I do. I don't understand why I act like I'm fine with everything that goes on when I'm not, I just can't stop myself from being a complete asshole with her. She doesn't deserve it, what I've put her through is enough for her to want to kill me, but she just takes it.

"I don't even know why I'm here anymore, Zayn. I feel like such a fucking burden."

I rush to her side, the impact of those words somehow snapping me back to reality. What would I do if she left me for good? Kicking her out yesterday was the worst feeling I had ever experienced, I didn't think it was humanly possible to feel so much regret and anger... but her leaving me forever? Would I even be able to keep going without her? Anastasia was somehow a part of who I was. It was something I struggled to explain to myself sometimes, when I wanted an explanation. Now it's just like, she's here with me and when she is, I can breathe. When she lies next to me and holds me, when she kisses me and does everything she can to please me, I'm me again. I'm innocent once more and nothing bad ever happened to me because her love makes me so pure again. And I see that innocence in her, all I see is fragility and love that she never got to give to anyone, because she was never given the chance. How can I let her go? The beautiful girl that had the world but nothing at all.

"Come on," I say, trying to hold her hand, but she rejects me.

Her rejection is a hard slap in the face and it makes me so angry.

"Don't joke around like that, come on, Ana." I bite my lip and try to control my tone, but it still comes out too forceful.

She puts both of her hands behind her back and just glares at me. "I don't understand what I did so you could hate me and treat me like you do. You just act like you've done nothing and then treat me like shit, you use me for your own gain, and bring up your ex girlfriend like I'm not shit to you. Why are you with me? Go be with her, maybe you treated her better."

"What are you saying? That's not true. You didn't do anything, Ana, this is just hard for me. I'm sorry, okay? I know I'm not the man you want anymore but I fucking promise I'll try harder, I swear. I'm just - I have no idea why I act like this."

Anastasia lets me wrap my arms around her and I can feel her tiny cries against my chest. She's so small sometimes. How can I be capable of hurting her? Why am I so fucked up?

"I love you, you're the only girl I care about. The only person in the world that matters," I whisper reassuringly, "you have to know how much you mean to me. I'm so sorry."

"About everything?" She cries, looking up at me with her big, melancholic eyes.

I nod, "Especially these few days..."

"I don't know why it's so easy for me to forgive you, Zayn," she sighs, kissing my neck softly, "Do you think me being here has made it difficult for you?"

I lead her to our bed and I sit on the corner of it. The entire bed is clean and empty, but I want her on my lap. That still isn't close enough and I'm desperate to feel her, to feel her so close I melt into her and all this goes away.

"No, baby," I squeeze her tightly against me, feeling her thighs over her jeans. "I'd go crazy if you weren't."

One of my hands finds a place under her shirt, right on the small of her back.

Fuck, why is she so soft?

"I really don't like the way you treat me sometimes," she whispers, I feel more to herself than me. "Sometimes I feel like you really hate me- for the person I was, for the person I am, but I can't change the past. As much as I regret it," she sighs, "I just can't change it. But I'm trying to be better just for you, for me, because I think I deserve to be happy for once, with someone who cares for me. And I think you do, sometimes. Just not lately."

Before I can even answer, right before I can actually tell her about everything, and open up to her completely... Harry knocks on the fucking door. Just as soon as I feel prepared to explain what's been going on with me, he has to ruin it. Why does he have to ruin everything?

"Come in," Ana answers, caressing my cheek with her fingertips.

Her touch always comforts me.

"Sorry, hope I wasn't interrupting anything," the curly headed motherfucker just looks around our room, trying to avoid my unamused glare. "Was wondering if I could talk to Zayn real quick outside? Just for a minute."

I look at Ana and she understands silently that I'm asking her for permission to go. She stands up from my lap, and it really starts to feel like a part of me has gone.

"Yeah, sure," she simply answers, looking at me longingly, "I'm just gonna put a movie in."

"Okay, good idea, baby. I'll be a few."

Anastasia smiles sweetly at me, sadly also at Harry, and I follow him out of the room as soon as I've given her a little kiss on the head.

"Glad to see you two have made up," Harry says dejectedly, "she seems to look a little better."

"What did I tell you about looking at her too long?" I roll my eyes, completely serious. "What do you need to talk to me about?"

Harry stops me at the end of the hallway. "Amy is outside, dude. We tried to make her go away, but she's not going anywhere unless she sees you."

My stomach drops.

Just when things begin to look up, my past comes back to bite me. Amy always appears at the worst times, it's like a thing of hers. I feel like she can tell when I'm about to be alright, because she just finds a way to make my life much more difficult.

"What!? What's she doing here?"

We walk into the living room and Liam is looking as stressed as ever. "Did you tell him?"

Harry nods yes, "You have to go down there, mate, she insists on seeing you. We left her in the lobby."

"Fuck," I murmur, "Go tell Anastasia, Liam. Don't let her out of this apartment. I need to deal with Amy and finish this once and for all."

"Good on you, Zayn," Liam replies, giving me a pat on the back, "Good luck."

"I have a bad feeling about this," Harry says, handing me a pack of cigarettes. "You know how that girl is, Z, make the right choices. Your girl needs you."

"Wow, Harry, that might be the most intelligent and supportive thing you've said to me today," I roll my eyes, "It'll be fine, Amy doesn't affect me anymore."

"Let's hope not."

-----

"What the fuck do you want?" As soon as I am out of the elevator, I'm fuming as soon as I look at her.

She's got a duffel bag with her, a little suitcase, she looks like she's going to a party. Amy always does. I know what she's doing, too.

"I'm coming home, what do you think I'm here for?"

All I can think about is how bad I wish I was touching Anastasia right now, Amy seems so dirty in comparison to her. How crazy is she going without me? Knowing that I'm down here with a woman that seems to be the very thing that could end us?

"Home," I chuckle darkly, "Since when is this your home?"

She sits on one of the chairs in the lobby, crossing her legs and shaking her Louboutin. Things I introduced her to. A life she wanted and I just gave it to her so I wouldn't be bothered to give her anything real.

"I heard about you and that girl, is this what you've come to? How can you so easily forget what we were to each other?"

"I'm in love with her," I answer honestly.

Amy smirks, "You? In love? I find that really hard to believe, Zayn. I don't know why, I just can't see that happening, especially not after what we went through together."

"Why did you think you could come here? Especially after what I told you the other night? I'm going to marry her, Amy, fucking get that through your thick skull."

"How old is she? 18? 19? You left me for a girl you didn't even know back then."

Amy slowly stands up, adjusting her very short dress and throwing curls over her shoulder. She looks at me like a hawk stares down it's prey before sinking their claws into their flesh.

"I want to be with you, Zayn. You know you can count on me, you know that I'd do anything to help you and your business. I've proven myself so many times before, what has she done?"

I shake my head, raising a brow. "You really think it's that simple, huh? Anastasia is who I want, she's proven herself enough. She's my girl. You need to understand that it's over. It's been over. It was over when we were still in California, it was over when I saw you last night, it's fucking over even as you're begging me to come back. It's not happening."

"I love you, she's not going to love you like me, never. No one will do for you what I have done. She's just a child who will get over you like all girls do their infatuations. That's all you are to her. An infatuation."

"That's not true," I say, trying not to let her words affect me or sink into me, even though they're threatening to. "It's not true at all."

I choose to walk away, but I hear her call for me one last time.

"You'll always have a home with me, even if I don't have one with you. You know where to find me, Zayn, I know you'll be back soon enough."