Z -

Anastasia was quiet all the way home. She was careful and wise to dodge Harry's questions and ignore Liam's occasional worried glances at her. When we got up to the apartment, it seemed like everyone went their separate way. Harry and Liam knew where the guest bedrooms were, but they would probably end up awake all night, as they usually did when they crashed here.

My fragile girl and I lay in bed together, my arms were wrapped around her protectively and she hid in them. I liked it when we were just like this, tangled in each other with complete serenity. I missed her for some reason.

Last night had been a mistake, one I immediately regretted as soon as I opened the front door to throw her out. I don't know why I don't have any self control when it comes to her, but it's beginning to concern me. Anastasia just drives me wild, everything I feel just gathers in my chest and it's explosive. She's everything I want, the only person that I want, but I just don't understand why I treat her this way.

"Ana, I want you to promise me something," I said in a low voice, her eyes looking up to meet mine.

She nodded, pressing her lips to mine very briefly.

There wasn't any words to explain how much I fucking loved this girl, I'd do anything for those little touches, for these little moments of bliss.

Why can't I stop fucking everything up?

"Promise me that as soon as everything gets better, we'll get married. And we'll leave this place for good to start over somewhere else."

Anastasia looks momentarily confused but acceptance takes the place of her confusion a few seconds later. "I promise, I'm not gonna go anywhere. I'm staying with you no matter what happens, I'm never going to leave you."

My chest warmed up. "I know," I whispered against her hair as I hugged her close to me. "I know you'd never do that to me."

There are unfortunate images that flash in my head at that moment, mostly of my past. Of Amy, of my mom and dad fighting, of my sister crying. My hold on Ana loosens.

"What's wrong, daddy?" She asks innocently.

I climb out of bed, needing air immediately. "I just need some air, sweetheart. Are you tired? Do you want anything?"

"No, I'm okay right now. Do you want me to go out on the terrace with you?"

I nod, just because I'm starting to feel really uncomfortable in our own bedroom. I open the french doors, immediately stepping out and letting the cold air hit me. It was probably not wise for Anastasia to be out here right now, but I needed her. I needed her to think right.

I needed her to function.

"What's wrong?" she asks again, just as we both stand there looking out at the lights and the ocean.

My hands caressed her face, her porcelain skin just so beautiful and soft to touch. Her faint marks and hickies were not yet fading and I had to contain myself from smirking. She was mine.

"There's something we need to talk about," I announce, breaking myself out of my fascination with her.

"What is it?" She asks, leaning into my touch.

"I - I have a lot of unfinished business with Amy. I know this is the worst possible moment to explain this to you, but it has to be done."

Anastasia immediately looks hurt. She only mouths the words, "Continue."

I sigh, placing my hands on her shoulders. "I need to get some stuff that belongs to me from her, for one. I need to make her sign an agreement, about keeping her mouth shut and all that. I think maybe she deserves an apology."

"An apology?" She says in disbelief, "Why an apology?"

I pick up on her tone and I fix myself on it. "She did a lot for me, Anastasia, she did a lot more than you think."

"Right," she simply answers, "So go to her."

I shake my head. "Don't be like that."

"How am I supposed to act? Tell me so I can be exactly how you want me to be, since that's all I ever do anyways."

I don't know why I grab Anastasia so harshly by the neck in that moment, but I know I'm going too far when I threaten to throw her over the terrace. She begins to panic immediately, her fear of me and fear of heights not helping her situation at all. But she knows better than to give me any sort of attitude.

It would be so easy to just push her off and make it look like an accident. I wouldn't do that though, but it's fun to hear her beg me.

"Zayn, please! Stop!" She begs, but it's like music to my ears when she begs. "Z-Zayn please!!"

I find myself squeezing tighter.

But Harry and Liam just burst through those french doors like the heroes and I immediately let her be, letting her catch her breath as she's coughing.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Liam seethes, "You really want to kill her today, don't you?"

Harry is immediately at her aid and this pisses me off more than anything. I wouldn't mind getting rid of Harry if it meant getting him away from my girl permanently. He was interested in her, I could tell by the way his worried eyes took in her frightened frame. His hands were on her shoulders, too close.

"Don't fucking touch her unless you want to die, motherfucker, don't touch her." I warn, "I don't like it when people touch her."

Harry surprisingly lets his hands fall at his sides, shaking his head like a scolded child. "Are you okay, Ana?"

"We were just playing," I say nonchalantly, feeling a bit guilty when I see how torn up she looks, "Right, baby?"

She surprisingly nods, "Yeah," she coughs, "I just took it too far."

Anastasia is obedient. She's like a wounded dog when she scurries to my side, hiding in my arms and burying her head in my chest. There's nothing better than the feeling I get inside when I realize that no matter what I do, she will never leave. She's just perfect in that way.

"I'm fine," she repeats.

I just watch them in satisfaction as they walk back inside, Harry giving me one murderous look before he shuts the doors behind him.

"Why'd you lie for me?" I ask, as if I don't already know the answer.

"Because I love you," she simply replies, "Can I ask you for something?"

I kiss the top of her head, "You know you can. You know I like to give you what you want, angel."

"Please don't go see her, please. I'm scared you're going to want her back and that you'll leave me, I don't want to be without you," Her tone surprises me and so does the look in her eyes when she looks at me.

Even after everything I've done to her, she can't stand to be without me. It doesn't completely make sense, what we have is not healthy or loving in any way, but it's special. She's my girl, she wouldn't ever do anything I wouldn't like.

"How about this," I begin, "if it makes you feel any better, we can get married before. That way you know that what we have is for real."

"Okay," she says in better spirits, "that's a good idea."

A -

"Can't wait until you're Anastasia Malik, it's gonna be the best day of my life," he smiles down at me.

I wrap my arms around his neck and press my lips to his. He kisses me back within a few seconds, his mouth so electric against my own. I let his hands wander, just like they always seem to do. He's not as rough like he always is, for this i'm thankful.

"Let me fuck you right here," he says in between kisses, "please."

"That's not a good idea," I answer, but he's already pulling down my pants, "Zayn, what if someone sees us?"

"Who's gonna see us? We're on the 10th floor," he answers, not giving me any warning before he just forces his c*ck in me, "you want it like last time?" he jokes.

I just need to please him, that's all I need to do.

He bends me over the same spot he threatened to throw me off of, "I love you, Ana."

Despite everything he does, this makes everything so much better for me. It starts to feel good after about 15 minutes, but at first the pain is unbearable.

"I love you, too."

Sometimes it feels like this is all I am to him, someone he can just have sex with whenever he wants. How can I say no? The argument would be brutal and I know I'd end up bleeding and kicked out of the apartment again.

I really shouldn't be having sex at all right now.

Zayn pulls my hair back, kissing my neck as he rams into me so deep I can feel him in my stomach. "I hate not being able to just fuck you all the time," he whispers, "If you really loved me, you'd just let me do it whenever I wanted."

I ignore his words and moan softly at his deep thrusts, ignoring his suggestions completely after that.

His arm locks around my neck and his thrusts get extremely sloppy and fast, until he's done and he cums inside me. Then Zayn just zips up his pants and goes inside without saying another word to the girl he claims to love.