Victoria Ange Noir sat in her seat in the backstage of the schools auditorium, her hair and make up done satisfyingly to the aspire taste towards the role of her character Janey Archer, a character infamously known for in the tale of The Age Of Innocence. That Saturday afternoon was filled with all those entitled to the senior graduating class and as a requirement towards graduation, was to put on a theatrical performance.

If it wasn't enough that Victoria wanted no part in a forced social interaction with those she have despised most,  she was and according to her thoughts, had to have been cosmically and ironically assigned the most opposing character that is of her true form; a gossiper.

She sat in front of a mirror in a corner where no one paid her any mind. There was pacing of conversations, of feets, assignments, purpose everywhere around her. She looked further down the vanities to find Serena Van Der Woodsen and Blair Waldorf chatting up a storm, helping each other with small physical details along with the help of Blair's maid.

She looks back down in her lap before looking up at her own reflection. There was a thought that crossed her mind, a thought she seem to have asked herself many upon many times over the years. Why does she always find herself alone?

...

"Ooh!" Rose Ange Noir squeals at the sight of Victoria Ange Noir, the age of four dressed in a playful floral dress that was flowy and square lined along the chest. She had pink Mary Jane's on to match the red hue of blossoms on her dress, and her hair was done in pig tails. "My beautiful daughter. Oh-" She pulls her daughter in for a hug. Victoria doesn't budge but instead melts into the hug. She loved her mothers hugs.

"You, my love, are going to have so many friends. I can't wait to hear about your explorations and see how excited you get when you tell me about all the kids you'll meet."

"You make me excited, mommy!" Rose can feel Victoria moving her head against her chest. She looks down at her to find her daughter looking up at her. "I'm going to miss you."

"I know," She pecks her forehead with a loud, "Mwuah! But time is going to fly and before you know it, Daddy and I will be in the Limo to pick you up."

...

"Victoria?"

Victoria's features grew stern, as she focused back out of her zoned out state and her eyes darted for the figure of Jenny Humphrey standing in the mirror. Her shoulders were tensed and she held a dress close, against her chest.

"Oh, um, sorry," She stutters. "I didn't know if you were-"

Victoria furrows her brows and shakes her head. "You don't need to apologize." She turns around to face her with a side smile playing her lips. "You caught me daydreaming, happens to all of us."

Jenny lets out a breath.

Victoria points a finger at the dress in her hands. "Is that my costume?"

"Uh," She looks down at the dress. "That is, if you're Janey Archer."

"Ding ding ding."

Victoria hops out her chair and walks up to her, taking the dress that was being handed towards her. "Thank you."

Jenny blinks rapidly at her. Most of the seniors haven't been this polite towards her. Especially those with a treacherous and mean reputation like Victoria's. "No problem."

Victoria looks up from the dress and smiles at her.

"Do you mind trying it on for me? Kind of need to know how much I have to alter as soon as possible."

"Right, I'll go ahead and do that right now."

Victoria gives her one last smile before taking off to the closest bathroom.

"I just can't believe this is a senior requirement," Nathaniel Archibald complains in the chaotic backstage of the auditorium, standing aside Daniel Humphrey while flipping through the script.  He tilts his head to the side and continues, "Or that Chuck got a doctor to actually diagnose him with acute stage fright."

He and Dan Humphrey chuckle as it was now Dan's turn to look over the script as Nathaniel adjusted a top hat on top of his head. He sings along, "Should've gone with mercury poisoning."

He sighs out a smile as he sees Victoria Ange Noir approaching. "At least you didn't flake out on me."

"Oh trust me, I have every reason to as well," She remarks, stopping in front of him and folding her arms.

Dan holds an arm out and looks at Nate with a raised brow, "And what am I? Chopped liver?"

Victoria had her lips pursed while looking borely at Dan before turning over to Nathaniel. "Well, I would love to stay and chat but, you know."

Nathaniel smirks at her. "Have fun, Janey."

She narrows her eyes at him and mumbles small threats under her breath as she passes by.

"Wow," Dan lets out. "I thought you said she was nice."

Nathaniel looks back at him and furrows his brows, a confused smile itching at his lips. "She is."

Dan blinked his eyes wide. "Okay, I don't know if your version of nice has been jaded by people like Chuck and Blair, but-"

"But nothing," Nate scoffs. "Trust me, okay she's definitely not like Chuck and Blair."

Nathaniel was so confused. In his eyes, he saw a playful and lighthearted person just standing before him. But the version that was standing before Dan looked as if she was so stuck up she couldn't even stand the presence of somebody from Brooklyn.

...

"Good morning class! My name is Ms. James. Why don't we all say good morning," Ms. James the preschool teacher instructed towards the kids.

"Good morning," The kids chant at once.

"Beautiful!" She praises with a bright smile. "I know that it's the first day and nobody really knows anybody. But this is the first of many days together so we should get to know each other right?"

The kids didn't nod. They just sat staring up at Ms. James to continue on to where she was leading with this. 

"Why don't I start, yeah? Like I said already, my name is Ms. James and I'm going to tell you three things that I like. I like watching tv, food and I absolutely love my mom and dad. Do you guys also like that stuff?"

A lot of the kids, Victoria Ange Noir included had all nod their heads eagerly.

"Wow, it looks like we all already have a lot in common. Why don't we all get to know each other. I want you guys to turn to the person next to you, tell them your name and list three things that you love. On the count of three; one, two, go!"

Victoria stared at her teacher, fiddling with her fingers in her lap as a roar of chatter erupted on the carpet. She was wondering why she didn't say three and then go.

"Excuse me," a soft voice calls out while tapping a finger on her shoulder. She looks over to find who she would soon learn was Blair Waldorf. "I'm Blair Waldorf, I like Paris, Princesses and my daddy's pumpkin pie."

Victoria Ange Noir could only stare at her. She felt herself growing nervous to speak to her. The only other people Victoria remembers speaking to was her mother and father. But this wasn't her mother and father. This was some random girl she just met at her first day of preschool.

"Are you not going to say anything? Ms. James said you have to share."

There was a rhythm of claps that abrupted from Ms. James. When it was heard, the chatter was exchanged for a classroom of silence.

She smiles at everyone. "When I make fun sounds like this-" She repeats the rhythm, she proceeds, "I want you to repeat it with me. When I make these fun sounds, the only sound I wanna hear from you guys is the sound of you clapping. No more talking."

Victoria Ange Noir looked over at Blair Waldorf who was just staring her up and down. She looked back over at Ms. James with her fingers furiously messing with the hem of her skirt.

...

A double date with Serena and the psycho director? I wish you the utmost sincere luck.

Natey Cakes

What? No positivism?

Don't bite more than you can chew dear.

Natey Cakes

What's that suppose to mean?

Oh you would know if we could catch up. How about tomorrow before the play starts? We can go over some lines and hang out for a bit?

Natey Cakes

 Can't. I have plans with Vanessa tomorrow. How about we try at some point this week?

Victoria Ange Noir was laying flat on her stomach and legs in the air in her bedroom that Saturday night, sighing with disappointment at the incoming text that appeared on her phone. She didn't obtain the energy to respond but instead, slapped her phone closed and tossed it aside.

She didn't know if she was clingy or crazy for being annoyed with Nathaniel Archibald for barely having the time for her anymore. What if their friendship was only selected for whenever he was having issues? What if their friendship was only according to Nathaniel's terms?

She was interrupted from her thoughts, when a knock was heard at her bedroom door. 

"There's my movie star," Raphael teases at her door.

She smirks at him. "Don't get your hopes up. I may have the looks of Marilyn Monroe, but this gal isn't interested in any form of spotlight."

"Ah, you have a spotlight somewhere, bonita. You just haven't found the right stage."

She had a sense of where the conversation was going and she scrunched her lips together. "You heard about Yale making an early acceptance decision?"

"Victoria," He sighs. Raphael Ange Noir walks into the room and takes a seat beside Victoria on the foot of her bed. "I know that the divorce probably has you confused as to whether or not you want to take on the family business. But you have to remember, you are an Ange Noir. I built that name so that it can open many doors for you. Don't worry about Yale. There's gonna be a school who will accept you."

"Yeah," Victoria mumbles softly, her fingers fiddling with her blanket.

...

"Vicky!" Rose and Raphael Ange Noir cheer towards Victoria, the four year old that climbed into the limousine after a day at preschool.

"Come dear, come sit next to mommy and tell me about your day," Rose Ange Noir encourages as she pats the seat next to her.

Victoria Ange Noir came over with a small smile on her lips. "I didn't really speak to anyone. It felt hard. But they seem nice. It felt good."

Rose smiles wide. "Yeah? That makes me so happy to hear."

...

It was the night to open the curtains and the stage was hotter then ever. Victoria couldn't care much to know for sure what it was that had everyone so tense on opening night, but from what she had seen on gossip girl, Blair Waldorf and Serena Van Der Woodsen seem to have been greatly affected by it.

She stood on stage almost as a background character as it was Nathaniel's cue as Julius Beaufort to appear on stage.

"Beaufort," Dan calls in his old timing British accent. "So, so good of you to come. They say you've been abroad."

"Well, yes I've been, um.."

Victoria's heart sunk and her eyes went wide. There was no way he could've possibly forgotten his lines. She would've offered to help him remember with their own rehearsals but he's been so caught up with his on again off again relationship with Vanessa, she's allowed him to live his life while also being a friend of his from a distance.

He clears his throat. "Yes, I've.." Before Victoria could register, she finds Nate scoffing. "You know what? Whatever. You want feelings?" She sees him walking closer towards the edge of the stage, "Well, I-I hate these clothes,-" He tossed his hat towards the snobby director from Julliard. "I hate this play and I hate pretentious asshats who try and steal other people's girlfriends. In fact, I might just spontaneously punch one next time you get in my face."

Victoria Ange Noir stood with her jaw hanging as she watched him storm off stage.

"I know just how Mr. Beaufort feels," Blair confidently speaks up. "Working so hard for something and losing it because people are out to destroy you."

"Well, Countess," Serena fiercely objects. "At least you don't have to go through your whole life worried your best friend will humiliate and betray you."

Nelly Yuki sits up in her fat suit and slams a hand on the couch she was once laying on. With a huff, she lets out, "I hate this fat suit."

Victoria jerks her head back at the sight of Nathaniel approaching the scene once more. "Oh, and there's one other thing. My whole family lost all of our money before my father went to jail for embezzlement. So I think I know more about humiliation and bankruptcy than some lame dilettante director. Okay?"

"Oh, what amusing companions!" Dan exclaims, attempting to stay in character and to also to make sure the sure still goes on.

The crowd abrupts in murmur and as Victoria shifts her gaze from her fellow classmates, she looks into the audience to find her father, but instead finds something much more.. unappealing.

Ignoring all the fuss, Victoria Ange Noir's feet marched profoundly towards the edge of the stage where Nathaniel Archibald and Daniel Humphrey stood.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Victoria nearly spat at Rose Ange Noir that sat in the midst of the audience.

The last thing Victoria saw before the curtains rolled down, was the sight of her mother gasping, a hand of hers clutching against her chest.

...

On that second day of preschool, Victoria Ange Noir felt that first day rush. She was determined to actually speak to people and productively make some friends.

Ms. James allowed the kids ten minutes to socialize before she gathered their attention for daily activities. Victoria Ange Noir skipped on over to Blair Waldorf. She was one of the handful that spoke to her on the first day and it felt like a start.

She was on the rug, playing with a barbie doll that she brought from home, until she saw Victoria Ange Noir coming her way. Blair Waldorf went out of her way to turn her back towards her.

Victoria stopped in her tracks and furrowed her brows. She went around to get a look at her face, but Blair still resisted but turning her head to the side.

"Blair?" She frowns. "I wanted to say hi."

"My mommy told me you're a mean person."

"What?"

Blair turns to look at her. "She told me that your family has a lot of power. And that people with a lot of power are evil. So save it. I don't want to hear it. Nobody does."

...

"Victoria-"

"No, Mom!" Victoria exclaims. They stood in the hallway outside of the auditorium. "I have left countless texts, countless calls. I have not heard from you since the funeral. You hurt me. You've hurt a man who loves you, you hurt my dad!"

"Can you please lower your voice-"

"I looked up to you," She hissed. She had tears blinding her vision. "You were my best friend. You always knew how to make me feel better, how to help me whenever I felt so alone in this world mom. But you left me to be so, soo much more alone than I have ever felt before. How are you suppose to make me feel better when you betrayed us?"

"Baby, no, you're still my Vicky." Rose Ange Noir tried to wipe away a tear from Victoria's face but Victoria took a step back.

"Stay away from us, mom," Victoria sternly tells her. "I mean it."

And with that she walked off. But somewhere, off in the distance stood Raphael Ange Noir who watched and heard the entire scene unfold. He too, was left with his heart aching and his mind torn.

-

It was nearly midnight in the city and Victoria Ange Noir answered the front door to the penthouse in her pajamas to find Nathaniel Archibald standing before her with his hair disheveled. According to the performance tonight, there was quite a trend of dilemmas appearing for everyone's enjoyment.

"Hey," Nathaniel greets. His voice was hoarse. He points a finger towards the inside of her house. "Is it okay if I come in? Talk to you for a minute?"

She stared flatly at him, her eyes felt so puffy from the amount of hours she spent crying in the streets of the upper east side and even the time spent in her bedroom. Just when Victoria Ange Noir thought she had a friend, she felt just as alone as she always felt. It became a new low in life for her.

"Why are you staring at me like that Via?"

"Don't," She spat. "I am not your fucking therapist. You need someone to talk to Nathaniel, go to your ticking time bomb of friends."

He eyed her astonishingly. "Wh-what? Again, are we really at this point again? I thought we established our friendship already?"

She tilts her head to the side. "The friendship where you only come to me when you need advice? You know I can be fun right? I can dance and drink at parties, I can make jokes, I can do the same things people who are fun can!"

"You're spiraling."

"Oh really?" She arched a brow. "Let me guess, you and Vanessa had a falling out because you were jealous about the director?"

He breathed a sigh through his nose, his nostrils physically flaring. "Victoria, I know that your mom was in the audience-"

"No!" She yells. "I asked to run lines with you so we could've hung out! To talk about about fun things!" Her chest was rising and falling fast. She was heaving. "Oh my god," She chuckles. "How could I have not realized this any sooner. You only come to me about serious and personal issues so you can use it against me-"

"Via-"

"Tell me, who else is in on it?" She nearly begs. "Tell me the favor? I'll do whatever if it means you can leave me alone faster."

He shakes his head. "That's just it, isn't it? You just love being left alone. That's probably why you've been alone for so long, you don't know how to make anybody want to stay."

It was at this moment she felt a piece of her heart crack.

"Get out," She mumbles.

He holds his arms out from his side. "With pleasure."

Author's Note; Hey guys!! I know it's been quite a while but here is my life update. Yes, we are all in the same pandemic, same quarantine. However, I have finished my first year of college about a month ago and I have so much free and spare time, I even been having a small urge to write again, specifically this book. I hope you guys enjoy what I bring.