my ass was so shook when i got a bts add, it was so long and i wanted to skip but i didn't want to as well but in the end it just advertised a channel, welp.

~

Taehyung can't bear it any longer.

The rendezvouses were now getting out hand, having double their frequency over the following week to the point Jeongguk barley spared him a glance until bed. At night the man would hold him close, their legs and arms intertwined as he peppered fluttering kisses over the expanse of his neck but by day he was far from his reach, immersed into hushed conversations with the blond's two friends.

"Jeongguk."

It's early morning and once again Taehyung can hear the indistinct sound of his partner rustling around to visit his friends. At first he had decided to continue and play on with their game, feigning cluelessness despite the urge to burst into neglected tears and throw a hissy fit at the lack of attention. But now, enough was enough.

Elbows propping his upper body forward, expression blank as he cocks an accusing eyebrows at his boyfriend who appears shockingly alike to a deer caught in headlights, doe eyes wide and thin lips pulled into a soft 'o', Taehyung awaits the other's reaction to his knowledge of what was supposed to be his 'discreet' actions.

"T-Tae?"Jeongguk stammers, fingers slacking against the tee he grips loosely, "You're awake?"

Nodding curtly, the blond licks at his lip as he rolls his eyes, muttering hotly, "Clearly."

Seemingly taken aback at the attitude the younger shamelessly throws at him, the elder narrows his eyes at the other, "Hey, watch it baby boy."

"Oh piss off with you and your stupid kinks."Taehyung sneers, increasingly riled up at the other's relentless act of feigning innocence.

"What the hell?"he snaps, tee flung to the floor as he strides to the side of the bed where his partner glares up at him, "Why are you being so darn rude?"

"Me?"the blond scoffs, head jerking back as he laughs despite the lack of amusement that slathers his tone, "I'm the rude one? Are you serious?"

"You literally just woke up and started dissing me, the hell did I do?!"

"Oh I don't know?!"Taehyung hisses sarcastically, eyes burning as he holds back the tears that had been desperately concealed for the last few weeks, "I don't know Jeongguk?! Maybe you've been ignoring your boyfriend for the past week? Maybe your boyfriend isn't as damn naive as you think he is? Maybe he's friggin tired of your crap! Don't ask me!"

And then, without waiting for his visibly taken-back boyfriend to harness his thoughts, he flings the covers off lithe frame and sprints out of the room, slamming the door firmly shut behind him, palms wiping furiously at the undersides of his moist eyelids.

&&&

He makes it his utmost priority to ignore anything related to the raven-haired male for the following few days. Opting to bunk with a bemused Jeno who had silently wrapped his sniffling form in a benevolent embrace, kissing his temple before rocking them both to bed. In fact, Jeno had been his anchor of support, the blond finding himself trailing behind the bespectacled male in hopes of restricting any sort of conversation with his partner who bored holes into his turned back.

Of course, it had not been easy, the young male having found himself absolutely stricken when coincidentally left with the mafia leader who pleads for him to be reasonable and lend him an ear, which was surely not going to happen soon until both of them were able to harness their insecurities and put aside their own opinions to peer thoughtfully at the other's perspective.

But due to some miracle, any tense period when the two happened to be stuck in the same room together, Jeongguk desperate for closure, Jeno or another male excluding Jaemin or Chenle would somehow stumble into the room and grip the blond's arm to drag him off to witness a giddy spectacle.

"Stop avoiding me."

It's afternoon, the sun toppling over the roofs of the meticulously ordered houses of Daegu, sky flushed a light rose streaked with honeyed-gold and flecked with wisps of snow-white dairy.

The two find themselves unfortunately locked inside the Kim's residence, parents at their specified work places and friends dropping briefly at their own homes to pick up a fresh change of clothes.

"I'm not." Taehyung denies bitterly, eyes narrowed at the dog-eared page before him, fingers unconsciously tightening against the spine of the book.

Jeongguk scoffs, head thrown back as he does before he fixes the boy across him with a pleading stare, "Look, I'm sorry okay? I didn't know you felt that way, I was honestly just trying to get along."

"A bit too much then."he mutters, his words not misheard by the elder.

A smirk graces Jeongguk's lips, eyebrows cocked as he teases, "Jealous much?"

"I am."Taehyung snaps plainly, book stamping close before him as he finally returns the other's hard stare, " And I think I have every right to be when my boyfriend spends more time with my friends than with me."

"Angel please, I said I'm sorry."

"No! It was the same thing last time with Jieun and we both know I let you off because of what happened to your mum-"

Eyes widening as he realises what he had said, Taehyung gapes openly, hurt expression dropping immediately as he hurries to cover his slip up, "I-I didn't mean that-"

But it was all too late, Jeongguk's expression darkening visibly, jaw set in place as his eyes loose their warm glow, the cold glint of indifference making a return as he snarls, "Don't. We both know you meant that."

And rising to his feet, ears deaf to Taehyung's rash apologises, the mafia leader strides out of the room.

&&&

"Where'd Guk go?"Jaemin pipes up as the eight of them gather around the sofa to feast on the Chinese takeout Taehyung's parents had ordered.

Jeno grimaces, glancing up briefly from his noodles to fix the male with a quizzical frown, "Guk?"

"Jeongguk."

Nodding, the frown doesn't leave his lips as he nudges at the knee of the blond at his side. Taehyung glances up at the contact, his own lips turned as he glares up at the male for snapping the mind blank that had shifted over his brain.

"So?"Jeno queries, eyebrows quirked, a rather strange ring to the nickname he utters, "Where's Guk?"

Taehyung visibly shrinks at the questions, feeling everyone's eyes swivel towards him as he fidgets with his cheap chopsticks, mumbling quietly, "Uh, we had a bit of a fall out..."

There's a brief silence, in which all males share concerned glances as they watch the young boy frown even deeper, nudging his bowl away as he sighs heavily.

"What happened?"Chenle says quietly, fingers twisted in his lap.

Taehyung isn't entirely sure why but his chest seems to tighten at the sound of other's voice, nails digging into the curves of his palms as his eyes narrow in irritation. It was not the question that he was put off by, but by the owner of the query, himself.

How dare he ask such question? For what was he to answer with? 'Oh, nothing much just the fact that my boyfriend hasn't given me a care in the world after he met your desperate self?'

He doesn't say any of this, he values the other too much to hurt him with such negative words but the brief anger towards him remains, instead he grits his teeth and choses to bite his tongue.

"Right." Renjun says awkwardly, picking up on the noticeable tensions that rises in the room, "You don't need to tell us, but just know that if we have to kick butt I'm more than happy to, but for now can someone pass me another roll, this pig is eating all of mine."

Throwing yet another repulsed glare in Mark's direction who looks far from offended, fingers oily as he swallows the remnants of the other's spring roll, grinning lazily, Renjun stares pointedly at the container across the other end of the room.

And for a while, even if it were not permanent, Taehyung is able to put aside his worries and smile, a fond laugh prying part his lips as he watches his friends quarrel, lips smeared with sauce and fingers slathered with oil.

&&&

To say that the young blond was a mess was an understatement.

Jeongguk had yet to return, nowhere to be found for the next two days despite the collective effort of the group, the eight of them searching the city's hotels and shops in hope of spotting the familiar scowl and cold glare.

Taehyung slept with Jeno and sometimes even Jisung, unable to go to bed by himself without having the familiar frame of someone pressed against him and even despite the younger's efforts to be a brilliant substitute for his boyfriend, it wasn't the same although he was sure to thank the other gratefully and reassure them that they were truly one of the best pillows he had met.

This time it's Jeno, his arms wrapped around his waist and nose pressed against the juncture between his neck and shoulder, the two conversing softly between themselves as they await the familiar dreariness to heave at their eyelids.

"You sure you're okay?"Jeno murmurs gently, breath fanning over the supple skin of the boy's neck.

"I.."Taehyung sighs, vision blurring as his bottom lip quivers lightly, "I miss him so much."

Although it was normal for the younger to dearly miss his partner, it took the other male by surprise for the elder had behaved as normal as ever, smiling widely and joining in with their discussions with as much as vigour as usual. In fact, to all it appeared as if Jeongguk's departure had zero to little to no effect on the blond beauty. And now to see the said man struggling to breathe as he cries over another who at first he didn't appear to care much about, was a bit of a surprise.

"I shouldn't have said that!"he cries hysterically, hiccuping as he squirms in the younger's arms, "I was just so angry! I-I didn't mean it Jeno! I...p-please! Didn't mean it! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!"

And even as the man cries, cheeks flushed, nose a dark red and eyes swollen, his body rocked lovingly in his friend's arms, his words aren't heard by the man it's meant for.

"I know."he murmurs, running calm fingers across the sobbing boy's fringe, "I know Tae, I know."

Yet all Taehyung can think is if Jeongguk knew that too.

~

sorry, i'm a hoe for angst.