Disclaimer: I don't own Andy's Apple Farm (Video Game). I don't own the picture (cover). Or the song.

(qwertuno and SilentReadersMatter)

(Warning: Suicidal thoughts/Ideation, discusses of depression and references to child abuse.)

(You can consider this a follow up of Headphones. My previous oneshot.)

(Hope you enjoy.)

"What is a childhood?"

Louis' therapist asked once. He faintly recalled the four words to a a question to which he just couldn't answer. No definition found in his vocabulary or within the depths of his memories.

Wishing you don't have to grow up.

Taking a sip of the alcohol, Louis laughed at the possibilities of death if his father were to find him stealing the drink he'd worked so heard to earn. Providing for the family and putting food on the table. Clothes on their backs. A roof over their head in a stable home.

"Louis?"

The fourteen year old sipped another bit of drink, gulping down the rest before settling the bottle on the porch next to him. Whoever called him was blatantly ignored. They decided sitting down next to the drunk was a better option.

What a fool.

"You shouldn't be drinking." Kamryn tried verbally commanding her son. "It's...bad for your health. Your only a teenager-"

However, as soon as Louis offered her a bottle, she shut up and took a swing herself. Breathing heavily from the sheer stress both her husband and life in general. Waiting a moment, Louis plopped his head on his mother's shoulder, closing his eyes and inhaling in and out as if he were going into a deep sleep. The drunkenness must've taken his toll if he was already this tired. He had only drank around two or three bottles.

"A teenager you failed. You're kid who had to take care of his older sibling because Isabella's too fragile to even care for her own mental health."

Louis must've been rusty. He hadn't drank a single drop in over six months. Sitting in the porch, staring at the night sky, his eyes widened briefly before looking at his watch.

Three AM.

Shit!

They had to get inside! Now! Thomas would be back soon and would be very angry to see his family not complying with the rules of when they needed to be in the house upon his arrival.

Louis found himself not caring in the slightest.

Kamryn certainly did. Dragging him by the arm into their house and practically chucking him into his room, she picked the door before rushing down stairs to take the blame for the used bottles.

He said she failed him. Never said she wasn't good in aspects of certain departments of parenting. Taking the blame for her kids' fuck ups? Yeah, Louis had to give Kamryn credit.

She at least acted somewhat of a good mother.

Louis covered his ears as the arguing started. The yelling and soon to be punched and beating of his mother and father echoing through and the house probably the entirety of the neighbourhood.

We don't even have neighbours.

That's how loud their parents turned out to be.

***

Cooking isn't Louis' strong suit, though he would do it if necessary. Baking pancakes in the morning along with some syrup and strawberries to feed his family hoping they'd be proud.

The little kid from the past inside wanted to hear the words 'we're so proud.' Stupid, Louis knew his desires wouldn't come true. Thomas was too prideful and abusive to let his kids have some affection.

They were touch starved. Louis, a walking depressed teenager. Isabella, oh, Isabella. So suicidal that Louis forced himself to hide all the knives in the house despite Isabella's begging to let her end it all. With a straight face, Louis denied her request and sent her back to her bedroom to which she proceeded to call over some girl named Sam and fucked in his bed.

He ended up sleeping on the couch that night.

All of his family came downstairs and sat at the table in silence, Thomas and Kamryn mumbling a thank you. Isabella hadn't spoken to him in three months. She remained sitting in silence until Thomas nudged her rather violently.

Louis' fist twitched to punch his sorry face.

"Thank you, Louis." Isabella meekly squeaked, avoiding all eye contact. "It's delicious."

Briefly looking at Thomas, he nodded in approval and Isabella went to listening to her usual music, fork poking at her plate and eyes dropping to what he presumed was a lack of sleepless nights of three weeks in a row.

"Welcome, Isabella."

Thomas' face was bruised up. Kamryn didn't look any better. Dried blood leaked down her cheeks from punch marks and scratching by presumably Thomas' hands after she tried defending herself from the insane man. Louis wished she divorced him.

"Father?" Louis whispered, internally flinching as Thomas granted him attention. "Do you want your face bandaging? It looks...worse for wear."

Thomas pondered his request. His pride usually wouldn't allow his family to seem his suffer, but...Like father. Like son.

"...Sure." He grunted, a smile appearing from the taste of breakfast. "Five minutes, then we leave for your school. Do not be late."

Kamryn glanced at him in horror. A message shone in her eyes as they finished breakfast.

What have you done?

***

Louis rolled on the floor in laughter. Receiving punch after punch to the gut, father shouting and yelling his worth. He didn't deserve to live.

"Fuck you, old man!"

Louis looked at the smashed computer. A game on their his father had been developing calmed Andy's Apple Farm or some shit glitching out with an error message from the smashed screen. Little vengeance on his part for Thomas not helping Isabella after she was beaten by those bullies and he called her a whimpering nuisance.

"YOU DESTROYED MY PROPERTY. DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I DO TO SUPPORT THIS HOUSEHOLD, BOY?"

The usual looked look his eyes with the black white space and normal eye colour shrunken until only one remained in his right eye. A smile on his face stretched from the pleasure and pain of the secret possession he kept from the family.

Don't you want to be from the pain?

Sometimes, Louis imagined a voice speaking to him. Feeling the water rising in his brain and he was drowning too deep in its depths to attempt swimming to the surface. Never speaking to the voice, but he nodded weakly hoping it saw his action. To which it did with a imaginative evil smirk as if it were the devil itself coming to take him to the pits of hell to suffer for his father's misdeeds on society.

Sleep, little fish.

Releasing a final mental breath, Louis let himself be dragged down by the invisible chains keeping him in the sea. Thomas continued his beating until he saw the unconscious fork of his son.

His conscious finally broke through its control.

"What have I done?"

***

Louis trudged through the school. Although a few grades lower than Isabella, they still shared the same halls and classroom. Occasionally passing each other in the halls and saying their hellos and goodbyes. They didn't want to be seen together for too long.

Imagine his surprise upon seeing someone beating his sister to death. Confused and enraged, Louis hid behind the corner of a nearby wall to observe the situation. A bunch of people surrounded his older sister, shoving her to ground and proceeding to beat her to a pulp, also teasing her about liking to draw the moon.

Their father hated the night. Preferring the day as it represented no danger in contradictory to the night where predators liked to play. Such as the darkness or shadows possessing their victims.

Isabella mainly liked drawing the night and dark things to piss their father off. Fair play when she was playing a dangerous game drawing random crap their father never approved.

"You are nothing."

After seeing the bullies leave, Louis immediately rushed to his sisters' side. Lifting his around his shoulders, his other hand supported her waist, hoisting Isabella over both his shoulder so he could carry her to the bench. Laying her down, she shakily winced from the pain, hand clasping his own as if begging him not leave. Louis should have been getting to a math lesson. But, really, who willing doesn't skip math for any event?

"Isa..."

Not knowing what to say, Louis sat down in the bench. Adjusting Isabella so she laid in his arms leaning against his child for support. She deliriously hummed in content. Louis smiled in a genuine manner. His older sister always needed taking care of even if she joked he should've been the older sibling.

"I'm here, Isabella. Just rest. Father won't be coming anytime soon. We've got hours to be safe from his hands."

Isabella shakily nodded her head, giving into the tiredness and resting against her brother. Holding her possessively in his arms, a hidden instinct awakened within Louis as his hands tightened around Isabella's injured form. Not letting her go until the nurse or someone licensed enough to help Isabella showed up to her aid.

Don't worry, they'll here be soon.

Footsteps approached briskly. Someone backed up in fright when Louis looked up, whiteness replaced with the black and his eyes shrank until one disappeared. Only his left iris remained.

"Leave unless you wish to die."

The person backed up with their hands held up in surrender. Running seconds after they left his sight, Louis recognised as one of Isabella's bullies. Not knowing the name drive him insane.

Wish I could make them pay.

Isabella stirred momentarily as the steps of the person faded within the halls. Cradling Isabella gently, Louis shushed her back to sleep. He knew she would need the rest when they were back home with their mother and their father. Thomas and Kamryn. Both equally as toxic and abusive.

Their father often saw Louis as the golden child, driving an even deeper edge into his and Isabella's bond as siblings. They were already distance as it was thanks to their family dynamics in their everyday lives.

The school bell reminded Louis that he has maths next. Staying by his sister's side mattered more than a stupid number lesson. Choosing to stay over a non-optional course which wouldn't even matter far into the future.

Don't worry, Isabella. I'll be here whether the adults like it or not. They won't tear us apart again. Never again. Together as a duo.

He'd protect his family no matter what.