Chapter I B: (Un)Natural selection

"What were we saying? Oh, right. I need your band, in five days... and I do not really see anything here." Loki murmured, opening the agenda at the designed page. He hovered the open palm of his hand over it, erasing all traces of what was written before.

"You're right. No commitment. They are free. They will come to you." Tom asserted, like an automaton.

"Very well. And you are going to take them to me, I'll tell you the time and the place in due time." Loki smirked, walking towards the exit door.

"So, do you have a private jet?" Tom asked curios.

"Oh, no. Much, much better!" The God of Chaos grinned, before leaving the room and the building.

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"I still can't understand, Tom, what the hell happened to the charity event?" Dominic asked his friend while they were in the taxi, on the fateful date.

"There was no charity event!" Tom asserted with a bitter tone.

"But why not? We've talked about it for weeks, it's the one where we are supposed to collect the funds for..." Chris insisted.

"I'm telling you there has never been any scheduled night like this, and even if there was forget it!" The photographer insisted.

Dom and Chris gestured to each other that their friend must have probably had a fever and was talking nonsense.

"And where are we going, then?" Matthew asked him, interested.

"I can't share this precious info with you, but we're almost there!" Tom replied mysteriously.

"Tom, we're going to a concert, it's not a bloody treasure hunt!" The frontman protested.

"Please, dude, you can stop the car here and let us go." Tom gave the necessary instructions to the taxi driver, blatantly ignoring Matt.

"Here? In the middle of nowhere?" Dom complained, exiting the car with the others, before the taxi left.

"Tom! Where exactly are we supposed to bloody perform? There's not any stage, not even a stadium... or a tent!" Chris muttered, growing nervous.

As a matter of fact, they were in the most deserted and desolate wasteland that London had to offer them.

"You aren't going to perform here, of course; but this is the place where he will come to pick us up." Tom beamed.

"He? Who?" Matt scratched his head, understanding less and less about what was going on.

"I must recognize that you're punctual, Midgardian!" A resounding voice exclaimed.

"Who said that?" Dom asked nervously, not realising why Tom was smiling like an idiot, while he seemed to wait for something or someone, confident.

In his entire golden splendor, Loki made his entrance with large and determined steps, which were making his long cloak wave elegantly.

"I did!" The beautiful God replied austere and bald.

"Wait a moment... but I know who he is ... he's that guy from the movie that came out a few months ago... the one with Captain America!" Chris began, pointing at the God.

Loki glared at Chris so icily that the bassist started to fear for his own life.

"I've killed for much less, you know?" The Asgardian hissed. "You're lucky, because I need you for my purposes."

"Tom, but what the hell is happ--" Dom asked for an explanation, but was silenced abruptly.

"Kneel!" Loki thundered.

Seeing Tom obey to him so instantly, even Chris, Matt and Dom did the same, believing that it was a joke of the Media manager's.

While Loki basked pleased with the tacit adoration towards him, Matthew was struck by a sudden lightning bolt of inspiration.

"Hey, guys, I should sing more often kneeling down! On 'Follow me' for example, it would be something of great effect!" He stated, convinced, already daydreaming about his future performances on all the stages around the world.

"Oh yes, Matteh, I do love when you kneel, but not in front of a crowd, just in front of me!" Dominic winked seductively at him.

"But... what?" Loki muttered, watching them, disappointed.

"Shut up, you two! Be quiet and show respect to the God who can do everything!" Tom rebuked his friends severely, then he resumed smiling ecstatically at Loki.

"Could someone tell me what's going on? Why are we here? Where are we and why is this guy here? It's the set of a movie, isn't it?" Chris wondered, puzzled.

"Oh no, did you think that we are shooting some scenes? Are we acting now? If it is one of Kate's stupid ideas, I swear that..." Matt muttered, very annoyed.

"That's enough, get up, everyone!" Loki urged them and the four obeyed. "Stop it! All this is not a movie, it is not fiction, there are no scenic effects, there are no jokes. It's the purest reality ever!" He explained, creating a dozen clones who surrounded them.

Dismayed and terrified, the three musicians had no other choice but to believe what they were seeing.

"Bravo! Bravo!" Tom applauded enthusiastically. "Magnificent, a performance of great effect!"

"Yes, yes, I know. Okay, that's enough!" Loki made a quick gesture with his hand and his clones vanished in the air.

"The point is that magic exists, Asgard exists, I, Loki, who have been their King, wrongfully ousted, exist and I need you and your services!" He declared.

"And what do you want from us?" Dom ventured to ask him.

"Do you think he want you to repaint his house? Come on, Dom, use your brain! What could he ever ask you for? A concert, of course!" Tom answered for him.

"Well, back in my old days, I used to be a decent house painter..." Matt pointed out.

"Silence! All of you!" Loki snapped, brandishing his scepter. "Now that the explanations were made, you just need to follow me in Asgard and if you still have some doubts, then I assure you you'll believe in everything."

"And, tell me, how do you plan to take us there?" Chris asked him, once he recovered from the initial shock.

"It 's time to find out if the Tesseract is also suitable for group travel, since so far it delivered a maximum of two people." The god of Mischief said, preferring not to specify who these two people were.

"And what if it's not suitable at all?" Chris continued his interrogation.

"Be ready for the consequences, then ." Loki smiled maliciously.

"Be ready my ass! I don't want to end up splinched, like Ron when Hermione got the spell of dematerialization horribly wrong!" Chris protested, growing extremely anxious.

"Dema.. what? And who is Hermione, who is Ron? What kingdom do they come from? What are you talking about?" Loki grew impatient. He could no longer understand what he was babbling about.

"I'll explain later if you want. And I'll give you all the Harry Potter books if you need them!" Matthew offered.

"I can give you the DVDs, if you prefer, there is also the director's commentary," Dominic added

"You know... with six children, by now I know those books by heart. By the way soon I'll read them to my Teddi, too." Chris muttered, looking tenderly, as he did every time he spoke of his children.

"You have six children? All yours? I did not know Midgardians were a species so prolific." Loki's eyes widened in surprise.

"He compensates for the shortcomings of the remaining 99% of the population!" Dom chuckled as he stared at Loki more carefully.

"Honestly..." Chris muttered, but neither the blond nor the God paid attention to him anymore.

"Hey, Loki, would you let me try that helmet?" The drummer asked, nonchalantly.

"I beg your pardon?" The God of the Lies gasped.

"It would match perfectly with my pants." Dominic promptly justified his request.

"Do you have golden pants? When did you get them? Why didn't you say anything to me? I want to see them!" Matt interjected, approaching to his beloved.

"I haven't any golden pants! I meant the yellow skinnies, you know, don't you? They would fit so well." his partner clarified.

"Umpf, yes, but you should also buy a golden pair. Do you remember? I have a silver, glittery pair. We could wear them on the same night." the singer urged his best friend.

"Excuse me, but I have not given any permission. No one can wear my helmet!" Loki growled, possessive, arranging it better on his head.

"Just keep it, I don't care!" Dominic shrugged, shaking his hand with annoyed attitude. "But now Matt has made me want to buy some golden pants."

"Yes, come on, let's go! Maybe we can find a store that's still open..." Matt started to drag Dom away.

"Stop!" Loki roared, hitting them with a slight electric shock of energy from his scepter, which mostly served as a warning, before they went too far from him.

Needless to say, it captured the whole interest of a certain frontman with megalomaniac ideas.

"Tom, what do you think? Can we use it as a stage effect, too? Can I sing with a scepter in my hand, too? Or rather, with a microphone scepter-shaped!" The pianist eagerly asked him, walking close to the other two friends.

"If my Master agrees..." Tom replied mechanically.

Matthew let out a chuckle.

"I am your master now? Damn, Kirky, when did you turn so accommodating?" he scoffed, before realizing that Tom was not even looking at him. Instead, he was facing Loki, waiting for his instructions.

Meanwhile Loki was appealing to his self-control, so as not to go berserk.

- Damn me and my stupid surprise parties for the insolent slob! I should have chosen to go straight to the prisons and end my days there! - he pondered, before taking a deep breath.

"All right, let's start. You," he said to Chris, "I do not know who this Honey Pitter is and I do not want to know."

"Harry Potter!" The bassist promptly corrected him.

"Be careful." Loki aimed the scepter at him, threateningly, which made Chris shut up immediately.

"You two," he turned to Matt and Dom. "No, blondie, you cannot wear golden, you know, it doesn't make everyone look good... and no, weird guy with hair that defies the laws of gravity, I do not want you to go around with a scepter similar to mine!"

"If this is my God's will, there will be no visual effect and no microphone involving a scepter." Tom established impassively, with evident disappointment from Matt, who snorted like a spoiled kid who is not allowed to buy his favorite toy.

"But mostly, I would be grateful if from now on you two restrained yourselves to talk as little as possible." Loki resumed the discourse. "I have had a magic gag, it doesn't take me much to put one on your mouths, too, and I assure you that it is not nice at all!" He threatened them.

Miraculously, this seemed to make even the two lovers keep silent.

"You're fast becoming my idol!" Chris smiled.

"Don't you dare Chris, no one can worship the Master more than me!" Tom growled, jealous.

"Returning to the issue of transport, nope, you risk nothing. If the Tesseract does not work collectively, simply you will not move from here and I will teleport one by one, with more trips. Simply this." the God of Chaos explained.

"That's much better." Chris nodded in satisfaction.

Since he ordered them to, nor Matt neither Dom dared to open their mouth.

"And me, sir? Is there anything I can do not to bring any harm to you?" Tom lavished.

"Oh, right." Loki muttered, taking his scepter and placing its end back to his heart, "I do not need you anymore." He added, freeing him from his spell.

It took some time for the poor Tom to recover. And to be pissed off.

"Hey, you! Among many minds, why did you decide to play just with mine? Do you have the slightest idea of the genius which you have threatened to deprive the whole humanity of? Tony Stark can suck my cock, I invented PhotoBlab!" the Media manager ranted, indignantly.

"Hmm... I had read that even my second choice, Coldplay, were available, maybe I still have time to..." the God of Mischief mused aloud.

"Oh no, cutie, I heard you. It's too late! It's us who you have chosen and it's us who you will carry to your kingdom!" Matthew retorted, now that he was starting to get a taste for the absurd situation in which they had found themselves.

Loki nodded, ready to unleash the powers of his Tesseract, but at the same time he already felt a vague sense of regret for his decision.

- If this continues, I will become the god of a Nervous Breakdown! -

TBC

Notes:

It' s a big mess, right?

And I assure you that the situation will degenerate even further XD

Appointment to Asgard, for those who want to be there ^ ^