MIGO isn't Inggo's best friend right now.

Right now, he is Rinn's terrifying older brother and stand-in father.

And right now, he's not saying anything. Pare-pareho silang hindi pa ginagalaw ang pagkain at pare-pareho silang tahimik nakikipag-staring contest.

Well, si Migo at si Inggo. Tapos humihingi ng tulong si Rinn kay Jiya, pero kahit si Jiya ay alam na si Migo ay pwedeng kumuha ng sandok at any time pang-pukpok sa ulo ni Inggo.

Tangina, nakakakilabot ang tingin ni Migo.

Feeling ni Inggo isa siyang unggoy sa zoo na hinuhusgahan. Ngayon niya lang na-feel na baka hindi siya gwapo. Tangina, nakakatakot.

Rinn's fingers stop their tapping on the table. Halatang hindi na niya kaya ang silence when she says, "Kuya."

Oh, her voice seems to shake off the walls sa nginig.

Migo's eyes narrow even further kay Inggo. Kung hindi sila magkakilala nito, mahihimatay na slight si Inggo. Slight lang. "How long?"

Ah, putangina. "Second year," sagot niya, keeping his voice steady. Dapat matapang din ang dating niya pero may respeto pa din. "Do'n kami naging official." The summer before it, anyway.

"E yung hindi official?"

AHA.

Joke na lang pala sa pagiging matapang.

Rinig na rinig ni Inggo ang paglunok ni Rinn. "Um—"

"Second year," sagot ni Inggo. Ginawa niya, panindigan niya.

"So the same time?" tanong ni Migo, eyebrows furrowing.

Erm. Ano 'to, sahig? "College," sabi niya. "Second year college."

Tiningnan siya ni Migo na parang ang gandang fit o OOTD ng bread knife sa throat ni Inggo.

Rinn inhales sharply, features contorting into a wince. "Kuya, please don't get mad."

Gusto niyang hawakan si Rinn pero baka makita ni Migo at dagdagan niya ang bread knife, apat ang mayro'n sa lamesa.

"Mau, tumahimik ka."

"I was the one who came to him no'ng nag-eighteen ako," Rinn explains in a rush habang tiningnan ni Inggo si Jiya with wide eyes.

Tinaasan lang siya ng kilay. Kaya mo 'yan, sabi niya sa tingin niyang 'yon. Ginusto mo 'to.

Tangina. Tama naman siya.

"And then ayaw niya na after kasi kapatid kita...and then he took me home no'ng third year na kayo after I got drunk, and then sabotaged my Valentine's date no'ng fourth year kayo...and then walang label no'ng first year med."

Ganda ng summary ng girlfriend niya, CliffsNotes yarn.

"Oh my God." Migo puts his face in his hands. Tumataas na blood pressure nito, pota. "That's worse than I imagined."

Inggo opens the second button of his polo shirt kasi tangina, ang init.

Bago pa sumabog at may masabing masasamang words si Migo, tinanong ni Jiya si Rinn, "Mau, you're happy with him?"

"Yes."

Aba, pinapanagutan niya ang feelings ni Inggo. Tama lang.

He looks away to hide his smile.

Jiya turns to her boyfriend, running her hand up and down his arm. "E 'di let them be. Wala na tayong magagawa kung sila na and they're happy with each other."

Sa loob-looban ni Inggo, hinahalikan niya ang mga paa ni Jiya sa pasasalamat.

Migo looks at him with a sigh. "Naiinis ako na tinaboy mo lang siya pagkatapos mong kunin yung...yung innocence niya and then you had many other flings after. Mas ginusto ko na lang sana na you stayed with her then kesa sa you strung her along for years."

He winces kasi tama siya. He regrets the shit out of it.

Pero bago siya magsalita, pinangunahan na siya ni Rinn.

"Kuya, nag-sorry na siya sa 'kin. Ilang beses," she tells him with a frown. "Plus, ako yung nag-beg kahit ayaw niya dahil sa 'yo, okay? And please, as if naman kaya niyang mag-change overnight. The important thing is he changed already. For me."

Inggo wants to kiss her so bad.

"Agh!" Migo stabs his fork in his food at nagulat si Inggo, medyo tumalon siya sa upuan niya. "Bahala kayo."

His mouth twitches into a smile. "Migs."

"Ano, gago."

"Sorry, pero hindi ko na tatakbuhan 'to ulit. 'Tsaka papalitan ko na yung code sa condo ko, pwede 'wag kang pumasok basta-basta next time?"

Kingina naman kasi e, 'di nakatulog si Inggo kakaisip sa nakita ni Migo.

"Hindi na talaga, putangina mo. Sinasabi ko sa 'yo, de Paz, saktan mo siya, papatayin talaga kita. Kaibigan o hindi."

Inggo blinks.

Tapos na ang crucifixion?

Huy, intact pa ang ulo niya sa leeg niya. May dalawa pa siyang mata, nostrils, kamay, paa, ten each pa ang fingers at toes. Buo pa ang mukha at katawan niya. Humihinga pa siya.

Hindi siya makagalaw bigla. A whole electric charge passes from his fingers to his whole body when Rinn finds his hand under the table.

And then he smiles. "Looking forward to it...bayaw."

Alam ko na alam mo libre maging tanga, kanta ng utak ni Inggo.

Migo stands up.

"Migo!"

"Kuya!"

Sa gwapo ni Inggo, medyo crime ang ginawa ni Migo sa mukha niya pero wala na siyang sasabihin tungkol doon. He suffered a beating, almost got his windpipe crushed in an empty classroom, and nearly met Jesus during this dinner.

Tapos hindi niya pa alam kung okay pa sila ni Migo o hindi na. Hindi 'to pagiging OA kasi alam ni Inggo kung paano si Migo pagdating sa mga kapatid niya at never niyang pagkakatiwalaan ang kung sino mang may kakayahang saktan sila.

And right now, si Inggo 'yon para kay Rinn.

"Inggo."

Her voice shakes him. He raises his head to face her, taking out the cigarette from his mouth and sitting up straight. "Yeah, baby?"

Bagong ligo si Rinn. She's wearing his sweatshirt and nothing else, and Inggo's eyes follow the curve of her butt as she closes the sliding door behind her and steps into the balcony of his unit with him.

They haven't had sex since the night before Migo found them in bed together the next morning. This whole thing made Inggo question whether or not he's worthy of touching her again.

He's not. Migo knows he's not. Pero since Rinn wants him, all he can do is to try to be worthy and careful of all the pieces of herself she so generously gave him.

He needs them more than she does.

"You okay?" she asks, her hands going around his face as she steps closer to him, in between his legs, and Inggo sucks in a deep breath from the feel of her wonderful skin and her scent in his nose.

He tries to smile. "Yeah."

Her fingers are stroking his cheeks, a frown marring her features in worry and concern as she searches his face. "Is it Kuya? I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, he—"

"Rinn, stop apologizing," Inggo tells her, running his hands up and down the back of her legs. "I expected Migo to react the way he did. He's afraid I'll hurt you."

Rinn wraps one arm around his neck and sits on his lap, her hand not leaving his face. "You won't," she whispers.

"I won't," Inggo agrees, slipping his hands under her shirt to squeeze her waist. "But I can't blame him."

She takes a deep breath, playing with his hair in her fingers while she searches his eyes. What she's looking for, Inggo doesn't know. "Kuya Migo is afraid about something else, too," she whispers.

"Ano pa, putangina naman. Lahat na lang takot si kupal? E kung hilain ko kaya bulbol niya?"

Natawa si Rinn. "Kuya Inggo, yuck!"

Inggo doesn't know how she does it. How she can center him with just a laugh.

"Kuya said hindi niya alam kung bakit ayaw mo mag-commit noon at hindi na niya kailangan alamin, pero since I'm the first girl you were willing to do it for, 'wag daw kitang sasaktan," Rinn explains with a soft smile. "2 in 1 ka na raw na bobo at tanga, 'wag ko raw gawing 3 in 1 na heartbroken at bobo at tanga."

Inggo blinks rapidly.

Putangina, mahal ako ng gago.

"Luh, gagi, daming alam," sabi niya nang nagpupunas sa mukha. "'Di ko na hihilain bulbol niya."

Rinn laughs and hugs him. "Kadiri! Stop talking about that!"

He can take her out on dates now. He can smile at his phone in front of Migo and blatantly say, "May girlfriend ako," instead of pulling excuses from his ass when he needs to turn down women. He doesn't have to lie or hide them anymore.

It's such a relief.

"Thank you kasi pinaglaban mo 'ko," Rinn tells him in his hair quietly. "Tayo."

Dati siguro, hindi magagawa ni Inggo. Before he and Rinn slept together for the second time, alam na niya no'n na hindi niya kaya. Pero ngayon, basta pinagkakatiwalaan siya ni Rinn at sumasandal siya sa kanya, kaya ni Inggo harapin ang kahit sino at ano ang ibato sa kanya para kay Rinn at para sa kung anong mayro'n sila.

No one fucks with what they have. Ito na 'yon, e. Endgame.

Inggo buries his head in her neck and closes his eyes. There's a pain in his chest that he rubs over his shirt. Like his heart is too stuffed full. Like a teddy bear filled with synthetic fiber or wool. "Rinn, feeling ko, feeling ko lang, ah—feeling ko deserve ko ng dede mo habambuhay."

She laughs some more and kisses him. Brings him to his bed. Touches him in places he didn't want to be touched before. Covers him in her love.

Inggo doesn't know how it happened. Baka Rinn picked him up from the neck and threw him over her shoulder and he's been on it ever since. She pulled him to her heart and mind and body and said, "You live here now," and Inggo grabbed a blanket.

He doesn't want to leave. Ever. Dito na siya kung saan siya safe and happy and taken care of and loved, at do'n na rin si Rinn sa puso ni Inggo kung saan siya safe and happy and taken care of...

And loved.

Rinn gave herself to him with a trust and love he never knew he was capable of receiving.

Of returning.

"Rinn," he rasps in her lips, still inside her on his bed. "Rinn, I..."

"What?" she whispers, kissing him, still. Then she pulls back and blinks, worried. "What?"

His chest hurts. "I...don't..." He takes a deep breath, then another.

"Inggo, are you okay?" Rinn asks, cupping his face, eyes wide.

"No," Inggo chokes out, squeezing her to him until he can feel her bones.

He can't breathe.

"Inggo," Rinn says, panicked now, and she tries to push him away so she can see his face, but Inggo bows his head and buries it in her chest, hugging her as tightly as he can until he can hear her heartbeat. He's breathing too fast and too wrong and everything inside him feels like it's going through a shredder. "Baby, Inggo, what's wrong? Hmm? What is it? Please, you're scaring me."

His chest is on fire. "I..." He sucks in for another breath but he can't feel anything going into his lungs. "I...Rinn, I..." he gets out through his teeth, shaking and shuddering.

"Inggo!" Rinn snaps, sounding close to tears as she pushes his shoulders with all her might so she can see his face, their eyes finally meeting. She has tears in her eyes and Inggo can't—he can't—

"I love you," he whispers, his heart bursting out of its ribcage. "I love you. Sa lahat ng paraan na pwede kang mahalin, mahal kita. I love—love—you," Inggo gasps. "Please say it back, please," he chokes out, his face wet with tears.

Rinn wipes his cheeks with her thumbs and kisses him. Then she looks into his eyes, smiles, and whispers, "Inggo de Paz, I love you too. I'll love you loudly and quietly, with my words and eyes and body and actions. I'll love you until there's no more love to give. Don't ask me to say it back the next time because I always will, and I will mean it every time."

Before Maureen Salas, Inggo de Paz didn't want love.

Didn't need it.

"And then you," he mutters into her hair while she's asleep, and then kisses her temple before he closes his eyes.

The next morning, and the next, and the next, Inggo wakes up to his favorite breakfast again.

*