SECOND semester na, hindi pa rin siya c-in-o-contact ni Rinn.

Wala siyang karapatan, pero he finds that he's dreading the call. Ang call na sasabihin ni Rinn kung sino ang balak niyang makipag-sex with.

Christmas at New Year, alam niyang nasa Pampanga siya with her family. Pagkatapos n'on, nagkikita na lang sila nang minsanan around campus. Masyado siyang busy with school and orgs and her friends.

From what he sees, masaya si Rinn sa school. Walang boyfriend or anything like that—kahit ang dami ng admirers niya. Fuckers.

Si Inggo, shameful as it is, bumalik sa pagiging fuckboy. Not that he ever stopped.

"Tangina, panlima mo na 'yan this week," reklamo ni Migo sa kanya nang pumasok siyang kaaalis lang ng panlima (according to his best friend) niyang babae this week. Wednesday pa lang. "Memorize mo ba schedule ko at palagi silang nandito 'pag wala ako?"

Inggo raises an eyebrow, lighting a cigarette near the window. Pangatlo niya na 'to. He's half-naked, hair disheveled, sweaty. Maliligo siya pagkatapos nito, pota, kadiri ang amoy niya.

"Mas gusto mo bang nandito ka?"

Migo rolls his eyes at his sarcasm and tosses him his lighter.

Oo, memorize ni Inggo schedule ni Migo, pati na rin ang kay Jiya. Minsan kasi, pumupunta si Ji dito kahit wala si Migo, may susi na nga, kaya kapag nandito siya, hindi rin nag-uuwi ng babae si Inggo.

The only women he apparently cares about are Jiya, Van, Addie, his mom, Tita Sheryl, 'tsaka si Rinn at Meg.

"Nagsasawa na ako, 'tol," sabi ni Inggo.

Migo laughs out loud, opening the fridge. Nasa klase pa siguro si Ji kaya nandito si gago. "Naubusan ka lang ng babae. Hanap ka sa ibang school."

"UAAP, ampota?"

"Blue Eagles, check." He shrugs and flops down on the couch.

Inggo rolls his eyes, taking a puff of his smoke.

Hindi rin alam ni Inggo kung 'yon ba o totoong nagsasawa na talaga siya sa bed 'em and leave 'em niyang lifestyle.

Kasi lately, hindi na siya natutuwa. Nakahiga na lang siya sa kama, hinahayaan ang kung sino mang kasama niya. Ni hindi na niya matingnan. Nakakawalang-gana silang panoorin at pakinggan, kaya di-ne-demand niyang nakatalikod silang lahat sa kanya habang siya ay nakahiga lang, naninigarilyo, while they make him come.

Wala siyang gana.

'Tsaka ngayon lang nagiging shameful sa kanya ang mga pinaggagagawa niya. Dati naman, wala siyang pake kung ano iniisip ng mga tao—basta alam ng lahat one-time thing lang talaga sila 'pag kay Inggo de Paz.

Nakakahiya at nakakapanibagong isipin na siya ay one-time thing lang din para sa kanila. Nakakatawang isipin na worth siyang mahalin kasi hindi niya iniisip 'yon sa mga babaeng napupunta sa kama niya.

Shit. Ang gago niya.

Pero ito ang alam niya e. Hindi naman niya alam kung paano maging Migo sa katulad ni Jiya, o paano maging Cas sa katulad ni Addie. Tangina, kahit nga maging Isco sa katulad ni Van.

Ang katawan lang niya ang alam niya, at ang katawan ng iba.

"How's Ji?" tanong ni Inggo, twirling his cigarette between his fingers.

"Better." Migo runs a hand through his face and looks at him. "Salamat ulit."

"Nakakaputa mga magulang niya," sabi ni Inggo.

"Magiging in-laws ko mga 'yon," sabi ni Migo, jaw clenching. "Pero tama ka. Kingina."

Hindi alam ni Inggo kung ano nangyari sa wrist ni Jiya, pero nagalit siya no'ng nakita niya 'yon, kaya niya sinundan-sundan si Ji sa mga klase niya. Ta's ang bobo pa ni Migo, nag-away pa sila dahil kay kinginang Elois.

Buti na lang okay na sila. Mukhang okay na rin si Ji.

"May tanong ako."

Nagtaas ng tingin si Inggo sa best friend niya.

"Diretsuhin mo nga 'ko, de Paz."

Putangina. Putanginang putragis kinginang 'yan—

Migo swallows thickly. Then, quietly, he asks, "May gusto ka kay Valle?"

HAHAHAHAHA.

Inggo laughs this out loud. He laughs the ridiculousness of the question as well as his relief out loud. "Pare, tangina ka, sa totoo lang."

"So wala?" Hindi pa rin tumatawa si Migo. Kinginang 'to. Kala mo naman kailangang nerbyosin, wala ngang ibang nakikita si Ji kundi 'tong gagong 'to. "Diretsong sagot kasi, de Paz. Tangina naman."

"Wala, Migs, kalma." Inggo takes a deep breath and checks himself out on the window. "Tangina, sobrang gwapo ko ba at na-threaten ka bigla sa 'kin?"

Tinapon ni Migo 'yong unan sa tabi niya sa kanya.

"Naalala ko lang si Buenca," Migo mutters, scrunching his nose. Pota, napakaseloso nito. "Gusto ko siyang suntukin no'ng nagsabi siya sa 'tin."

Inggo snorts. "Ah. Walang chance 'yon." Wala naman talaga from the start, walang feelings si Ji sa kanya.

"Ikaw, gusto kong suntukin when Valle rode your bike," sabi ni Migo. "I know you don't let anyone ride it, kaya nagulat ako. 'Tsaka alam kong you find her pretty, sinabi mo the first time we met the girls."

Ah. Inggo wants to smack his forehead.

"Okay, sa motor ko, tama ka—pero walang problema kung si Ji." At si Rinn, dagdag niya sa utak niya. Si Jiya ang second girl pa lang na nakasakay sa motor niya. Feeling niya naka-limit lang sa dalawang 'to e. "'Tsaka I have eyes. Of course I find her pretty. Para ko siyang kapatid."

Migo glares at him. "Sabi ni Ads no'ng 'di n'yo pa alam na kami na pwede ka niyang maging boyfriend. Baka she can make you commit raw."

"Para kang bata, putangina." That was more than a year ago. Inggo wipes a hand through his face. "'Di ko gusto si Jiya, okay? Sa 'yong sa 'yo siya. Kalma." Kahit wala namang bro code, hindi matingnan ni Inggo si Jiya the way he can look at Rinn.

Migo stares at him with narrowed eyes.

Gago, kapatid mo nga yata magpapa-commit sa 'kin.

Kung sabihin lang ni Inggo 'yon, matatapos na 'tong selos ni Migo sa kanya. Pero baka mamatay si Inggo.

"Okay," sabi ni Migo. "If I fuck up again—which I probably will—just..."

Grabe. When will he ever ask Migo to look out for someone he loves—just in case he fucks up?

"Gets," sabi ni Inggo, waving him off. He feels his chest sting with something like longing and envy for what Migo and Jiya have. "I'll be there for her."

Migo slaps a hand on his as he passes by, then he grimaces and runs to the sink. "Tangina, baka kung sa'n lang galing 'yang kamay mo."

It makes him snicker. He wants to tell Migo there's nothing to clean kasi hindi niya hinawakan—not once—'yong babae. Nakahiga nga lang siya 'tsaka naninigarilyo.

Naalala niya 'yong first time he met Rinn and how she didn't want to touch his hand.

First time 'yon. First time din na he wished it wasn't just in some random girl's panties.

*

Katatapos lang maglaro ng boys ng basketball at pool when Rinn texts.

Inggo steps out of the shower with only a towel around his waist, drying his hair with one hand. He almost drops his phone when he sees the notification, and Migo, from the dining table, gives him a weird look.

Tangina, puso niya.

With a swallow and a deep breath, he opens her text.

Rinn: kuyq inffoo

Blinking, Inggo lets go of his hair.

Rinn?

Her reply comes immediately.

Rinn: u visy?

Rinn: itd ik if u r

You busy? It's okay if you are.

Ah. Kahit lasing, ang considerate niya pa rin.

His lips twitch into a smile, pero nandito si Migo. 'Pag nag-smile siya, kukulitin siya ni gago because he doesn't smile at goddamn texts from girls.

Inggo schools his face into a neutral expression and types.

no, i'm not. u drunk, rinn? san ka? do you have a ride?
u being safe? who are you with?

"De Paz."

"O." He looks up from his phone, pretending to be disinterested.

"So tinawag ako ni Valle kanina ng 'husband'."

Inggo snickers. Ito na naman 'to kay Jiya. Never nang nagshu-shut up about her. Ang cute na nakakatawa, kasi Migo wasn't like this with Tasha. Hindi nga siya kinakausap ni Migo about her except kapag naiinis na siya sa kaka-insist ng bitch ng sex.

Inggo is glad.

He's happy his best friends are happy.

"O, tapos. Nagka-heart attack ka?"

Tinatawag na kasi nito si Jiya ng 'wife'. 'Yon pa contact name ni Ji sa phone niya. Baliw, ampota. Sure na sure na talaga.

"Medyo." He's grinning.

"Tangina, kinikilig ka na naman!"

"Galit ako sa kanya kasi pang-asar niya lang ako tinawag n'on, pero namatay ako slight."

"Mukha nga. Naka-plan na wedding n'yo sa utak mo, 'no?"

"Hehe." Sinipa-sipa ni Migo ang sahig.

Inggo throws his towel in his face, laughing, and heads to his room. "Tangina mo, graduate muna tayo 'tsaka med school, boy!"

He checks his phone again. Wala pa ring reply si Rinn. He pulls his bottom lip in between his teeth, medyo kinakabahan na. Without thinking twice, he calls her, pacing his room.

Apat ang ring bago siya sumagot. "Hellooo?"

Inggo bangs his forehead on his closet door. HAHA. Ang cute ng boses niya. Quietly, he says, "Rinn?"

"Kuyaaa Inggooo!" she cheers, voice slurred. "Hellooo!"

He can't help his smile. She sounds so happy. "Hi. Sa'n ka? Why'd you text?"

"Uh...Taft...?"

"What." Inggo chucks off his towel and opens his closet, throwing clothes on his bed while he keeps his phone wedged between his neck and shoulder. "Nagsabi ka kay Migo?"

"Of course not!" She giggles breathily, and Inggo shuts his eyes briefly before slapping himself with his other hand. Tangina mo, focus, gago!

Siyempre. Migo would've thrown a fit, tapos magpiprisinta siyang may plans silang barkada coincidentally na pumunta rin sa Taft, pero pupunta lang talaga silang biglaan para bantayan si Rinn.

Papayag naman si Inggo if he'd known. 'Di siya sure kung may plans sina Anton at Cas, pero sasama si Inggo kahit may plans siya o wala.

Pero ayaw ni Rinn ng bantay. Kaya 'di nagsabi.

"Rinn, sino kasama mo? May ride ka? Are you being safe? Sino kasama mo?" With the blood draining from his face, he asks, "Did you text kasi uuwi ka with someone? Sino siya? Ano pangalan? Saan kayo pupunta? Lasing ka tapos—"

"Whoa!" Rinn shouts, then laughs again. Inggo puts on his clothes in a hurry. "Slow down! I was with my blockmates, pero they went to another bar. Nagpaiwan ako sa Starbs, I'm so sleepy na. I can't get a Grab back to Katip...Kuya Migo will lecture me to death if I call him..."

Tangina. Phew. At least hindi siya uuwi with someone else o sumama pa sa ibang bar. Nakahinga siya nang maayos. "Susunduin kita," sabi ni Inggo, picking up his car keys and wallet. "Turn on your location and keep your phone on you. Drink water, Rinn. Sober up."

"You're so bossy!" Rinn laughs again.

"Rinn," sabi ni Inggo, teeth gritting. "Please. I'm worried."

She takes a deep breath. "Okay..." she whispers. "Kuya Inggo, I'm sleepy."

"Hang tight, baby. I'm coming." He hangs up and leaves his room.

"Oy!" Migo shouts, looking up from his laptop. "Sa'n ka? Sama ako, kunyari galit pa rin ako kay Valle."

Shit. Inggo scrambles to put on his shoes. "Sorry, bro, 'di ako into threesomes. 'Tsaka susuntukin ka ni Ji, tapos ako, tapos 'yong pupuntahan ko." He turns around to wink for good measure, then winces nang hindi na siya nakaharap kay Migo.

Puta. He feels like a fucking asshole implying na pupunta siya sa booty call.

Migo laughs. "Gets. Have fun!"

Hay. Inggo sends him a salute before he hops in his car.

He's jumpy going through traffic, calling Rinn every once in a while to check in and tell her na he's forty, twenty, five minutes away.

He steps inside Starbucks and looks around, gripping his phone tightly. "Rinn, I'm here."

A loud bang by the corner makes him turn his head. Rinn is waving her hand in the air, smiling at him, as she struggles to regain her balance. "Kuya Inggooo!"

Then she falls back down on her chair and continues waving.

Oh, shit.

Oh, shit.

Inggo takes deep breath, plasters a smile on his face, and walks toward her.

Her face is flushed, cheeks red, and her lips are pink, glossy, and full. Nakalugay lang ang buhok niya, falling down her shoulders, and there are pretty gold chains around her neck.

Inggo knows what most girls wear to parties and bars. Nakailang tanggal na siya ng gano'n sa kwarto niya o sa kwarto ng iba, and most of the time, walang masyadong inaalis—bra o tube lang 'tsaka maliit na skirt.

Pero si Rinn, naka-sleeveless na brown 'tsaka jeans low on her hips. Her stomach and the curve of her waist are showing—'yon lang—pero somehow, Inggo finds himself harder at this sight. Effortless lang para kay Rinn, tangina, ni hindi nga niya hinahawakan si Inggo e. Tingin at ngiti pa lang.

Kumalma ka, gago! Lasing siya! sigaw niya sa dick niya just as he reaches her. "How are you feeling? Ready to go?"

Rinn is still grinning, blinking up at him. There's a small half-empty coffee and two cups of water on the table. She nods profusely and tries to stand.

On instinct, Inggo puts an arm around her waist when she stumbles a bit.

Natawa siya, then she whispers, "Sorry, Kuya Inggo..."

Inggo tips his head back and bites down a groan, then helps her find her footing. His fingers are pressing down on her pretty little waist. "Can you walk? Do you want me to carry you?"

"I can walk!" sabi niya with another laugh. "Do you want coffee? I can get coffee for you!"

Inggo can't help but smile. Sweet, sweet thing.

He reaches over the table to grab her purse, and then puts his arm back around her waist for support. "No, it's fine. Tara, I'm parked lang sa labas."

Rinn's a giggly but quiet drunk. She doesn't say another word as they head towards his car, pero natatawa siya minsan to herself when she stumbles a bit and Inggo catches her agad.

When she's in the passenger seat, she grins up at him sleepily. "Thank you for coming, Kuya Inggo. Ang layo ng Taft sa Katip..."

It is, pero magco-complain ba siya? Hindi.

Inggo bends down and reaches over to strap her in, gulping at the scent of her perfume and the feel of her chest brushing his arm. "I'm glad you texted," sabi niya quietly, fastening her seatbelt. "Pero I'm not happy you went to Taft without telling Migo, or me, or Jiya—"

"Nadadala na ako ng tulog..." she mutters, closing her eyes and leaning back against the seat.

Cheeky little shit, Salas na Salas nga. Inggo grins and closes the door after pushing her seat back further para mas maayos tulog niya.

The drive is quiet and comfortable. Rinn sleeps soundly next to him, cheeks flushed and hair around her face. At the stoplight, Inggo reaches over and brushes it back behind her ear, fingers grazing the smoothness of her skin and down to her neck.

"Mm," Rinn moans lowly, eyes fluttering, leaning her head into his hand.

Inggo bites his tongue at the sound and pulls his arm back bago sila masagasaan.

He grips the steering wheel tight until his knuckles turn white.

Tulog na tulog pa rin si Rinn when he parks at Blue. When he shuts off the engine, he takes a few minutes—or an hour, who knows, really?—to stare at her face, resting his head against the steering wheel.

Gusto niyang tanungin what made her go all the way to Taft with her blockmates. Gusto niyang tanungin kung nakailan siyang drinks, kung sumayaw ba siya, kung hinawakan ba siya the way Inggo held her. Kung may nag-flirt with her o kung may hinalikan siya. Kung siya ang una niyang naisipang i-text.

Pero wala siyang karapatang tanungin o malaman.

Ano naman ngayon ang gagawin niya 'pag narinig niya ang mga sagot? 'Langhiyang bobo ka rin minsan, e, 'no, sabi ni Inggo sa sarili niya, sighing.

A shrill noise from her purse jolts her awake and stuns Inggo.

Rinn sits up, rubbing her face with her hand, and rummages for her phone. "Hello?" she mumbles sleepily.

Inggo bows his head to hide his smile.

"Yeah, I'm at Blue na," she says, unfastening her seatbelt and running her fingers through her hair. "Okay, ingat. Thanks for calling."

She hangs up and turns to him. "I'm so sorry for falling asleep. You should've woken me up."

"Who was that?" tanong ni Inggo, eyebrow raised.

"One of the blockmates I was with kanina, she was just making sure I got home safe." Rinn flashes him a smile. "Thanks for taking me back. Seriously. I pulled you out of your Friday night plans, I'm sure you had things to do."

Inggo shakes his head, smiling at her. "Sabi ko nga I was glad you texted."

"I'll pay you back for the gas—"

"No. Tara, hatid kita to your unit." He steps out of the car and rounds it, opening the door for her.

Walang nagawa si Rinn but to follow him inside Blue and to the elevator.

He waits for her to unlock her door and step inside. Rinn faces him again and smiles. "Thanks again, Kuya Inggo. Goodnight."

Inggo smiles back, heart thumping loudly. "Night, Rinn."

Ito. This is what best friends do for their younger sisters. Sinusundo kapag walang sundo kapag lasing 'tsaka hinahatid sa unit safe and sound.

Hindi 'yong pagtatanong ng mga tanong na wala siyang karapatang malaman ang sagot. Hindi 'yong binabagalan niya steps niya papuntang elevator, naghihintay na baka papasukin siya ni Rinn sa unit niya 'tsaka halikan at alisan ng damit.

"Alam ko," inis niyang sabi sa pantalon niya once inside his car. Amoy na amoy pa rin niya perfume ni Rinn, tangina. "Pota, alam ko."

This weird obsession and longing for Migo's sister has to stop.

Hindi niya mabibigay sa kanya ang gusto niya: pagmahahal. One-time thing lang si Inggo.