bawal ang mga bata

*

HE remembers his promise to Jiya all those months ago.

I swear to God I won't touch her.

Tapos sa isip niya: again.

"Buti na lang 'di ako naniniwala kay God," sabi niya sa sarili niya. "Sorry, Ji. Love you."

He rings the doorbell.

Pagkabukas ni Rinn, she swallows, her eyes wide. Like she didn't expect him to actually come after her, kasi he didn't when she kissed him in the car. "Kuya Inggo..."

"I stayed celibate for seven fucking months," Inggo snaps, stepping forward as Rinn backs up into her unit, tilting her head up at him, chest rising and falling rapidly. "Or eight. For you. Because of you."

He throws his keys, wallet, and phone on the table. Then he takes off his shirt by the neckline around the back and tosses it on the floor, still staring at her. "Pero 'di ko na kaya."

Without waiting for her answer, he pulls her to him and kisses her.

Ugh, putangina.

Her hands lock behind his neck as he pushes her against the wall, pressing up and up on her toes and whimpers at the roughness of his kiss.

Rinn sucks and bites his bottom lip like she's starving, and he molds her hips in his hands, and grounds into her through their clothes.

Rips open the tank top she's wearing. Buries his head on her chest while her nails scrape down his back.

Hindi alam ni Inggo kung paanong hindi siya natumba nang buhat si Rinn, because the next thing he knows, he's on top of her on the bed, yanking her shorts down and running his hands everywhere—thighs, stomach, ribcage, legs, ass.

"Shit," Inggo mutters against her lips, keeps on kissing her while he squeezes her chest. Rinn wraps her legs around his waist and pushes her hips up, and Inggo groans in her mouth. "Rinn, tangina."

She looks up at him with wide, brown eyes—fucking trusting and beautiful, holy shit—and wraps her arms around him, breathes against his ear, "Inggo, please, please..."

Oh, he is fucked.

He crushes their mouths together before his mouth lowers to her chest again, and Rinn's fingers tangle in his hair, throwing her head back. His hand slides down to her underwear, breathing harshly. Fuck, he's so hard. "Fuck, fuck..." he groans as his finger touches her, burying his head on her neck and biting, sucking, claiming—"I can't wait, Rinn, shit, I'm sorry. Tangina, kailangan kita."

She seems to want the same thing, kasi her hands fly to his jeans and eagerly pushes them down his legs.

Rinn strokes him, kissing his mouth, and Inggo fists the sheets beside her head, moaning at her touch.

Then he slaps it away before he can fucking come and thrusts himself inside her.

Shit.

"Inggo!" Rinn shouts, holding on to him, scratching his forearms. "Ah..."

Putaningang gago. "Does it hurt?" Inggo asks worriedly, brushing her hair away from her face and caressing her cheek. Shit. "Shit, baby, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, baby, fuck."

"It's okay, it's okay," Rinn mutters, squeezing her eyes shut while Inggo kisses her neck and jaw and mouth, trying to soothe her. "Ang tagal na rin," she whispers, mustering a smile for him, cheeks flushed.

Inggo feels his chest burn. He bends down and kisses her shoulder sweetly.

He stays there, unmoving for how long, keeps kissing her, caressing her, trying to keep his wits together until Rinn whispers, "I'm okay na, you can move."

Inggo raises his head to look at her. "Rinn, fucking hell..."

She kisses him slowly. Gently. "Please, Inggo."

He can't help but smile in her mouth. "Nawawala lang ba ang 'kuya' when I'm inside you?"

Rinn smacks his shoulder and hides herself in his neck. "Just move," she groans, embarrassed.

PUTANGINA, ANG CUTE NIYA.

His fingernails scrape themselves down her smooth back and up. "Isa pa," he murmurs.

"Inggo, please," she almost sobs, hugging him and pressing her chest against his.

Inggo hisses at the contact.

Then he grabs her hips and moves.

"Oh, fuck," Rinn whimpers, closing her teary eyes.

"You look at me," Inggo orders through his teeth. "You look at me or you look down at me fucking you, Rinn."

She does as he says. Sa kanya muna, tapos sa baba, where they're joined.

Her sounds, his name on her lips, her skin, her hands on his body, her—all glorious.

He can't help but tell her na ang sarap niya.

That she's so good for him.

Almost forgets to pull out.

Kasi si Inggo de Paz, who always, always protects himself and his partner, forgot to put on a condom.

"Rinn, Rinn, Rinn—"

Buti na lang si Rinn ang lumayo. He pulls out and ends up staining her stomach and chest.

Hindi pa siya natapos do'n.

Pinasok ulit ni Inggo. Savors her again.

"Tuwad," he whispers in her ear after giving her a rough kiss, pulling out before he can come again. Then he kneels back between her thighs.

Rinn blinks up at him. She's panting and flushed all over. A mess—over him. For him. "Huh?"

Inggo grins. He loves that she doesn't know what that means.

He lowers his mouth to her ear. "Hands and knees, Rinn."

To his delight, she blushes.

Inggo can't help but laugh a little. Ngayon pa siya magb-blush?

"Stop laughing," Rinn murmurs, sitting up to do as he said.

Inggo catches her face before she can turn around and cups her cheeks, kissing her softly. "You have no idea how happy I am to be your first," Inggo whispers in her mouth, then kisses her again. Rinn melts to him, and his hands move down to squeeze her ass. "First in every position. Hindi kita titigilan magdamag. Tuwad." He slaps her butt and pushes her down on the bed.

Rinn squeals and giggles, and Inggo finds himself grinning before he sinks into her again.

And he should feel disgusted with himself.

But it's hard to feel anything but happy and turned on and insane with lust and desire when Rinn looks at him with so much trust and touches him so reverently, when she allows him the privilege of seeing and touching and kissing and claiming her body like this—like she's his.

Inggo can't remember the last time he's smiled and laughed this much during sex. Can't remember the last time he's enjoyed sex, been this addicted—no, wala kasing last time, first time 'to, tangina—and couldn't get enough of someone else's body, couldn't stop kissing, touching, pleasuring, fucking. Sinisipa-sipa na siya ni Rinn at naiiyak na with his head between her legs, pero wala siyang pakialam until she comes.

Tinigilan na lang ni Inggo si Rinn when she slumps down on his body after riding him. After coming on her thighs, Inggo chuckles against her neck, hugging her around the waist.

They're both panting and sweaty and flushed, marumi sa dinami ba naman ng nilabas ni Inggo, but he doesn't care. He can feel her rapid heartbeat against his.

"Why you laughing at me again?" Rinn mumbles sleepily, brushing her lips against his skin, hugging him tight.

Ah, she fits. She fits here. In his arms. Wrapped around him.

He's grinning as he turns his head to kiss her temple, still stroking her back and catching his breath. "You're so cute."

Every time na sasabihin ni Inggo na ang sikip o ang sarap niya, magtatago si Rinn sa neck niya. In-ask pa niya si Inggo how to ride him, to teach her how to suck him.

She hums, kissing his cheek.

Inggo smiles and loosens his arms, pero hindi siya binitawan ni Rinn. He chuckles and taps her waist. "Come on, let go so I clean you up."

"No..." Rinn mumbles in his neck, parang nadadala na talaga sa tulog sa pagod. "I can...I can do it—"

"No." The word comes out harsher than intended that it makes her tense. Inggo sighs and hugs her again, pressing his lips to her forehead. "Sorry. I need to do it. I want to. You don't get to thank me and walk away again."

Tangina, magwawala siya if she doesn't let him do this.

Rinn barely manages a nod.

Inggo gently lays her down on the bed, brushing her hair back away from her face. "You sore, baby?"

Rinn hums.

Inggo grins, still hovering above her. "Sorry."

"You're not," she whispers, her pretty lips pulling up into a smile.

He laughs out loud. "Tama ka, I'm not. Wait lang."

Inggo heads to the bathroom for a fresh towel, pero nagulat siya nang makita ang sarili sa salamin.

Shit. Gago. Para siyang na-maul.

Love bites and scratch marks everywhere.

Ganito rin naman itsura ni Rinn, mas malala pa nga, tangina, pero grabe.

He wants to ignore the feeling of satisfaction in his stomach, pero he can't. Only catches himself smiling at the sight in the mirror.

"Gago ka, putangina mo," Inggo scolds his reflection.

Pero nakangiti pa rin siya, tangina.

"Stop smiling!" sigaw niya sa sarili niya, who's still smiling.

"Mukha akong baliw," sabi niyang natatawa.

When Inggo steps back inside the room, it's not a surprise that Rinn's already asleep.

As carefully and as gently as he can, he cleans her body.

He grabs a big shirt from her closet and strokes her arm. "Rinn, put this on, you might get cold."

Her eyes squint open. Sleepily, she sits up and puts her arms out for him.

Inggo grins, slipping on the shirt for her.

When her head pops out again, she leans forward to give him a lazy peck on the mouth.

Then she slumps back down on her back, burying her head in the pillows.

She looks so fucking sexy and he wonders what it would do to him kung suot pa ni Rinn shirt niya.

Inggo lays down next to her after putting on his jeans. Ayaw niyang umalis, especially not when Rinn burrows herself deeper into his warmth, cuddling him.

First time din 'to, pero parang ang natural lang na Inggo holds her and kisses the top of her head. Akala mo ang tagal na niyang ginagawa.

Hindi alam ni Inggo kung ilang oras ang nakalipas na nakatitig lang siya kay Rinn, caressing her hair and wishing that he didn't have to leave.

Does he have to?

Napigilan niya ang sarili niyang isipin si Migo simula noong binuksan ni Rinn ang pinto.

Wala. Hindi niya maisip at all si Migo.

What would his best friend say if he walked in here right now? May extra key 'yon dito.

Tangina.

Pero what if mag-stay siya? He wants to. He really does.

He should. He should just say fuck you to Migo and stay the night.

Okay. Gagawin niya. Mags-stay siya.

"Kuya Inggo..." Rinn mumbles.

His mouth twitches. "Balik na naman tayo sa 'kuya'? Pasukan kita ulit para Inggo na lang?"

She huffs out a small laugh, not opening her eyes.

"Ano 'yon, Rinn?" he asks softly, brushing her neck with his fingers. Over his marks.

Rinn puts out her fist slowly.

Inggo blinks. "What?"

"Handshake. It's a thing we should do after sex. You were great."

Putangina, putangina, putangina. This girl.

Inggo is laughing as they slap the back of their hands over each other's, tapos their palms, tapos their knuckles, and then they pull it back with the fingers spread wide. "You were great, too." He leans down to whisper, "Took it like a champ every time."

Rinn smacks his stomach, flushing.

"I'm sorry," sabi ni Inggo, "for forgetting the condom. I swear I'm clean, I got tested."

"Nakalimutan ko rin," Rinn whispers tiredly. "And I trust you."

He tightens his arms around her.

"Also, Kuya Inggo...what did that kid ask you sa Timezone?"

Ah. Inggo rolls his eyes. "Number mo."

Rinn giggles again.

Then: "Kuya Inggo..."

"Yeah, baby?"

"Are you still here? With me?"

Inggo blinks, his smile fading.

He's about to say that yes, oo, totoo siya, nandito pa rin siya with her, that he really wants to stay and he's going to and they need to figure out what the fuck they're going to do without hurting Migo or themselves—pero natigilan siya when she whispers, "I love you. Goodnight."

It's why Inggo orders food and waits outside Blue for air.

It's why he leaves a note beside it on the table telling her to rest up and to call him if she's sore and if she needs help.

It's why he leaves a kiss on her forehead and tucks her in the covers before he leaves.

The horrible, horrible truth sinks down on him.

Putangina.

She said there's more to his body to know and to love, and for the past few months, tinotoo naman niya 'yon.

Naniniwala na si Inggo, e.

Pero bakit...bakit niya 'yon sinabi pagkatapos ng ginawa nila?

He can't do this.

He doesn't know how to be someone Maureen Salas can love.

If he even deserves it.