SHE should've kicked him out.

She should've, she really should've.

She shouldn't have—shouldn't have let him in her space, on her bed, smear his scent all over her covers, leave dents of his fingertips on the mattress.

Maureen doesn't know how he fit, he shouldn't have been able to, yet he wedged his huge body right beside her anyway and suddenly the length of his arm behind her back reached around the other side of her waist and she can hear and feel him breathing.

They finished their food a few minutes ago. He bought her favorite, the classic boneless ones, and let her have the last piece kahit nahihiya pa siya no'ng una. They shared the twister fries and the ranch sauce, and handed to her the slice of cheesecake that "came with the order".

She's eating it now, helpless tears forming on her face as she keeps her eyes on the screen.

And then Maureen feels Kuya Inggo move beside her, lean forward to inspect her face. And there's a huge smile on his lips when he asks, "Rinn, umiiyak ka ba?"

"No." She turns away from him and shoves down a forkful of cheesecake. "Pinagsasabi mo, Kuya Inggo? Shut up ka na lang."

There he goes with his laugh again. Reaching all the way down to her toes and shamelessly clawing her heart.

A Walk to Remember ends, and Kuya Inggo gently closes her laptop and pushes it towards the foot of the bed, still grinning. "So do you cry every time you watch this?"

Now that there's nothing else to focus on, wala na siyang matingnan na iba o marinig na iba kundi si Kuya Inggo, Maureen looks down at her dessert when she answers, "It's moving." No use denying it now. Her hand goes up to her face to wipe away some of her last tears. "'Tsaka gwapo si Landon."

Kuya Inggo lets out a pfft sound. "Mas gwapo ako do'n."

He's not wrong. Maureen shrugs. "If we were in the movie and it came down between the two of you, I would choose him."

Her cheesecake is halfway done pa lang, but she wants more for later kaya she goes to cover it, licking her fork, and pushes off the bed to stand up. Night is over. Movie is done. Uwi na siya bago pa may isiping kalokohan na naman na gawin si Maureen.

Kiss mo siya para pahiya ka ulet, tawa ng demonyo.

Maureen cringes internally, so wrapped up in that embarrassment that she registers too late Kuya Inggo's hand is gripping her wrist and pulling her back down on the bed. She lands on her butt with a gasp, wide-eyed.

Kuya Inggo is frowning at her, eyebrows furrowed. "Kung si Landon at ako, si Landon? Bakit?"

Maureen doesn't want to smile. She is not going to smile at his confused face, at the fact that he's demanding an explanation.

"Because I'd be more of his type," Maureen answers with a shrug, like it's not a big deal. "Parang ako si Jamie, e. I'm not that conservative, or religious, and obviously not sick, but I look like her. And you'd be better off with the ones that are up to your standards."

She laughs when his face doesn't change.

In fact, he even looks more incredulous than he did before she answered.

Maureen stands up. "Thanks for the company, Kuya Inggo. Baka pwede ka nang umuwi, I'm sure 'di ka na i-ki-kick out ni Ate—"

She almost knocks down her desk when she turns around and finds him standing in front of her.

In full height, Kuya Inggo is intimidating. She's 5'1 and he's 6'1, for fuck's sake. From this angle, with him looking down at her and her straining her neck to look up at him, she's worried she looks like a dwarf.

Maureen, sabi ng utak niya. Focus muna tayo on the fact na he's too close, hmm? Mamaya na tayo sa issue ng height difference, kung issue man 'yan.

Tama siya.

Maureen backs up against her desk, curling her fingers on the table. "Kuya Inggo..."

"You're eighteen," he says flatly, tongue pushing against his cheek, jaw hard. So, so different from the guy who was just laughing with her and at her during the movie. "You're perfect."

Maureen blinks. Nineteen na siya, nakalimutan ba niya?

And then...and then.

That's what Landon said to Jamie. In the movie.

Doesn't matter that the context was when she told him she was sick.

It's the line.

"'Yon ang nasa isip ko when you asked me what you asked me a year ago," bulong ni Kuya Inggo, his hand reaching across the space between them to brush his fingertips along her cheek, put her hair behind her ear—all the while never moving his eyes away from hers. "So ngayon, Rinn...si Landon pa rin ba o ako?"

Maureen can't speak.

Her mouth opens, and then closes.

He grins, smug asshole that he is, and steps back, shoving his hands inside his pockets. "Alam ko na sagot mo kaya 'di ko na uulitin. I'll get going na." Kuya Inggo bends down to grab his wallet and keys from her bedside table, glancing at the clock above her bed. "I have to buy a new phone pa pala."

Maureen is still stuck to her desk. All she can manage is a nod, eyes still wide as she watches him turn back to her.

"Sana tapos na si Migo at Jiya sa kabastusan nila."

Maureen can't help but smack his arm. "That's my kuya and my soon-to-be sister. And it's disgusting to think about."

"O, ngayon, nakakasalita ka na ulit?"

Maureen shoves him repeatedly. "Out. Out. Umalis ka na."

"Wait lang!" Kuya Inggo laughs, gripping the door. "Goodnight, Canton and Karli, pakabait kayo. Oy, Dangler, ang panget mo."

"Stop insulting him!" Maureen says sternly, hugging the sloth protectively. She narrows her eyes at him. "Say sorry."

Kuya Inggo laughs even harder, petting the sloth's head. "Sorry, Dangler. Goodnight, Rinn."

Then he ruffles her hair and leaves the room.

She's still stuck there when he comes back a minute later, panting, parang he ran back up the stairs when he realized what he's about to say: "Ah." He shows her his hand. "Malinis. Don't worry."

A laugh escapes her.

Kuya Inggo winks, and then leaves.

*

There's this shift that Maureen doesn't understand as first semester starts. Second year na siya, fourth year na si Kuya Inggo.

At this point, rarely na niyang nakikita ang mga seniors. Kaka-start pa lang ng school, pero alam niyang tambak na sila ng trabaho in preparation for their thesis.

Which is why she doesn't understand his text. Between being busy with school and his...carnal needs, alam ni Maureen na walang time si Kuya Inggo for anything else.

Kuya Inggo: rinn, can i come over? sagot ko
frankies. sagot mo the movie and...tears hehe

This is, Maureen thinks, an attempt to not "make things awkward" for Kuya Migo. That's all it is.

Kuya Inggo: ah and miss na ko for sure ng
mga alaga natin

Natin? Aba, pota. Ambisosya 'tong si Maureen at naisip na niya matagal na na tatay nina Dangler, Karli, at Canton si Kuya Inggo, pero na siya ang nag-i-initiate sa gano'ng usapan, na father of three talaga siya? Pakasal na tayo, duwag, gawin nating totoo mga anak natin!

Maureen flushes and types her response habang naglalakad sa Red Brick Road.

kuya inggo, don't u have plans?

Tests to study for, places to go, alcohol to drink, girls to sleep with...

He reads that in a heartbeat. At the next, she has his reply.

Kuya Inggo: i do now. stay there

"Where?" tanong ni Maureen out loud na parang tanga.

A low "hi, Rinn" is whispered in her ear. Kuya Inggo smiles at her, one strap of his backpack on his shoulder, his hair a beautiful mess, and his smile...it's been weeks too long without that smile. "Game?"

Maureen blinks up at him, slowly lowering her phone. Her heart turns erratic. "I...what if I had plans?"

He raises an eyebrow and leans down to take her laptop . "May Frankie's ba 'tsaka Inggo de Paz sa ibang plans na 'yan? Ibang plans o ako?"

Maureen stares at him.

What the hell is happening.

Kuya Inggo holds out his hand and grins. "Malinis 'yan, Rinn. Tara, dadaan tayong SOM Forest."

She takes his hand only because she's afraid. Ignores the brush of his thumb along her skin, the tight grip of his fingers on hers.

Unlike sa bahay, sa kwarto niya, may couch rito sa Blue—which means do'n sila away from her room and there's no danger of wanting to straddle him or hug him or kiss the soul out of him. Maureen stays to her side of the sofa, eats her boneless chicken wings and accepts the last piece he offers her, and savors the cheesecake that "came with the order" again.

His presence is in her space again.

She should hate it. She should, pero kinikilig-kilig ang putanginang kidney, liver, and intestines—long and small—niya.

Tama ba 'yon?!

Maureen doesn't cry this time sa movie, but she does look away, face flaming hot, when a sex scene plays on the screen.

She picks at her cheesecake and stabs it with a fork.

She pretends not to hear the low chuckle Kuya Inggo makes under his breath.

Maureen doesn't even realize she's fallen asleep. She wakes up on her bed, curled up under the covers...and it's darker than usual.

It's past eleven na. Kuya Inggo left hours ago.

Maureen smiles, sitting down on her desk, when she finds a...pig on top of her books. A pig that's lit up. Sa kanya lang galing ang light.

May sticky note na naka-attach sa kanya.

you dont have a nightlight pala here unlike sa bahay nyo. dito na to, mas okay kesa gamitin mo yung lightbulb sa living room. i know yellow isnt your favorite color kasi its pink, and heres one na cute rin tsaka mahaba ang battery life. sleep well, rinn. thank you for the movie and dinner.

P.S. pangalan nito ay piglet. hahaha. bagong adopt. sinabi ko na na wag magselos yung iba.

Ah, so father of four na pala si Kuya Inggo.

Maureen's dad asked her kung yellow pa rin ba favorite color niya.

Her own father didn't know her favorite color, and Kuya Inggo does.

She thanks him the following day, trying to appear nonchalant about it, and he replies:

Kuya Inggo: pauwi ka na? may kasama ka?

Not really any of his business.

yeah.

Kuya Inggo: if you're really grateful daan ka sa som forest now.

Maureen sends back a question mark.

Kuya Inggo: u trust me, rinn?

Her answer is immediate. Wala nang isip-isip.

Yes.

Kuya Inggo: Good. :) go. now.

Bossy, ampota.

Gusto mo naman.

Maureen flushes and pockets her phone, facing the path.

Laking gulat na lang niyang nakitang may maliliit na flashlights on either side of the walkway.

Maureen drops to the ground, sitting on her haunches and cradling her laptop against her chest.

BAKIT?! Bakit siya ganito?! Ano ginagawa niya?!

When did Inggo de Paz find the time to buy these flashlights and set them up sa forest?

Why would he?

Kuya Inggo: kasi bawal kang may kahawak na
ibang kamay. text me when ure home.

It doesn't stop there.

Once a week, he drops by her unit para "kamustahin ang mga alaga natin." Para "may kasama akong kumain ng dinner, laging nag-aaral si gagong Migo o kasama si Jiya." Para "may mag-ubos ng in-order kong food, sayang. May cheesecake na kasama sa order, o."

Napansin ni Maureen na hindi na paulit-ulit nagli-light up ang phone niya—'di katulad dati na every five minutes may naghahanap kay Kuya Inggo. May invitation.

At kahit minsan niya na lang nakikita si Kuya Inggo sa school, when she does, laging may readings sa kamay niya 'tsaka kape. Wala nang babae.

But that doesn't mean Maureen is delusional enough to think na there's something going on. He just enjoys her company. Never mind the looks he gives her when he thinks she's not watching. Never mind the glances at her mouth, at her bare legs, the subtle touches of tucking her hair behind her ear or putting his hand on her hip when he passes by her to get a glass of water or to shut the lights.

Wala 'yon.

Parang ang imposibleng isipin kasi e. He was so appalled and regretful of everything that happened between them before.

She jumped the gun and look what happened. In-avoid siya ni Kuya Inggo for weeks. Stomped all over her heart.

Kahit willing na willing siyang maging flagpole sa mga red flags ni Kuya Inggo, hindi na dapat alamin ni Kuya Inggo 'yon.

Baka naman he wants to sleep with her again?

Game. Sa kotse? Sa kama? Anong posisyon? Aling butas? Pwede 'yong tatlo, in any order, sabi ng demonyo, kinikilig na naman. Nagising at nabuhay sa prospect.

Maureen sighs, deflated.

She doesn't know what he's doing. She doesn't know why he's doing it.

She wants him to stop just as much as she wants him to continue living out this fantasy that she's his...

And he's hers.