I walked through the house.  This felt like a classic horror movie.  First, one of my friends had decided "hey, splitting up sounds like a good idea! I'll check for whatever monster this is down in the basement!"

Predictably, that was not a smart idea.  I mentioned that, but do my friends ever listen to me? If course not.

I need better friends...

Now, I was alone in this dark house mansion thing.

The lights wouldn't turn on, things kept moving by themselves.  I could constantly hear quiet, creaking footsteps somewhere in the house.

I looked around.  Directly in front of me, there was a door that was slightly ajar.  A slight glowing came from the room, and it seemed to be calling to me the same way Sirens draw sailors to destruction.

But I'm not that dumb.  I stopped myself by closing my eyes, stopping it as if I were plugging my ears.

Wait.

I'm horror movies, they never try to make friends with the monster.  They are always too scared of it.  But what if the so-called monster is just bitter because of how everyone hates them?

I decided that I would be the first person to try and make friends with this monster.  I mean, I'm going to die anyway, right?  Might as well take the 1% chance of living and making a friend that is being offered to me, instead of deciding not to and changing the 99% chance of dead to a 100% certainty of it.

Now that I knew that I had no control over what would happen to me, and I knew that this "monster" was at the other side of this door, my fear subsided.

"Hello? My name is Allen Johanson. Do you want a friend?"

"...Yes.  I would like a friend.  Don't hurt me..."  It might've been in my head.  It seemed like it, except that the thought wasn't my own.  I moved closer to the door, reaching for the handle.

"Well I can be a friend..."

"Don't eat me..."

I was confused.  "Why would I..."

I stopped as I opened the door.

And then...

...There was a potato.