I wake up to find my eyes searching for her. Of course she's nowhere to be seen. She is dead... The dream was just so real. I kind of wished she was still alive and her death was just a bad dream. I stretch to find my body aching in pain.

I slowly stand up, holding my head in pain. Oh god what's that awful sweet smell? Wait... That smells exactly like the perfume Amanda used to bathe herself in. But she is dead so that's impossible. She can't be walking around...

No, Simon. She's dead. Start accepting it and move on!

I walk into the kitchen to pour myself a glass of water and get something against this damn headache. I know we have more auditions planed for today, but I don't feel like showing up at all. The loss of her hurts more than ever.

The smell of her perfume, or better what I imagined to be her perfume, hit home. The dream I had made me miss her even more. Alesha would be mad at me for skipping auditions. I promised her to get my life back on track.

"Damn it, I'm going," I mutter and my mood gets even worse. I get dressed and don't really care about how I look. She would have made a huge deal about my clothes, but she's not here... Life goes on.

...

"Hey Si," Alesha says but I just brush past her. I don't feel like conversation at the moment. I feel like crawling into bed and doing exactly one thing... nothing.

I slam my door shut behind me and sigh. Why am I so angry today? That was really not fair to Alesha. She's not the reason of my anger so I shouldn't let her suffer. I walk back out and into the direction of Alesha.

"I'm sorry. Just a bad day," I say and stare at the ground. I don't want to see the pitty in her eyes. I never do.

"I already figured... You look bad. Have you been drinking?" Alesha asks and I guess she knows the answer already.

"What else am I supposed to do? My mind is killing me and you can't really do much against your mind, can you?"

"You could have called me, you know..."

"Yeah, to receive more pitty from you. Thanks, no."

"Is that how you feel? I don't pitty you. I just want you to behave like a fucking adult Simon," she says angrily and I know that I sounded like a complete ass.

"I'm sorry Ale-"

"No, keep it to yourself. I don't wanna hear it. Talk to me again when you've grown up!" she says and walks past me. I cover my face with my hands and sigh heavily. Why do I have to keep ruining everything?

I get back into my dressing room but can't stand the silence inside of it. I walk back out and Amanda's dressing room is pulling me magically towards it like a magnet would do. I open the door slowly and turn on the lights.

Why? Just why?

Keeping this room was the best and at the same time worst decision we've ever made. It just brings back so many memories that I hate and love spending time here at the same time. I look around the room to find the comforting order inside of here.

Nothing has moved and it looks so tidy in here... Way cleaner than in any other dressing room. I smell at the bathrobe, hanging on the back of the door. It smells just like her. And once again I'm reminded of the smell of her perfume in my house tomorrow morning. 

Why was it there? I don't keep her perfume at my house so it couldn't have been the drunken me. But who was it then? I swear that it was the smell of her perfume. I know it...

I look around the room and realize that one piece is missing. The necklace I bought her for this years BGT is gone. Yesterday it was placed on the make up table, laying inside of a red velvet box, but now the necklace and the box is gone.

Who on earth would take a death person's necklace? It's even worse than stealing something from a living person!

I storm into the room with most of the staff and judges and am almost bursting from anger.

"Who on freaking earth had the nerves to take the necklace?!" I yell and everybody looks at me surprised.

"I don't know what you're talking about!" David said and threw his hands into the air.

"One of you knows damn well what I'm talking about! The necklace from Amanda's makeup table... it's gone! And I want to know which asshole took it!" I yell and Alesha comes over to calm me down.

"Si, I'm sure there's an explanation for this."

"Well I'm waiting..."

"Mr Cowell I assure you there was nobody in this room. I locked it during the night and nobody has a key besides me and..."

"And Amanda," I finish and sigh. Why is this even happening? Can't she just come running into the room, yelling it's a prank?

...

Not too far away stood a person and watched the events angrily. How could she have been this careless? Of course he'd know. He had probably studied the damn room in a case such as this. She wished she hadn't taken the necklace and instead just left before it was too late.