"Agasthya..."

Agasthya blinked his eyes only to close them back.

"Agasthya... You are awake..."

Anirudh glanced at the doctor worriedly. It has been 5 days since they admitted Agasthya to the hospital and this was the first time he gained consciousness.

"Agasthya... Why don't you take a look at your brothers? They have been waiting to meet you for a very long time..."

Agasthya tried his best to do what he was told to. His eyelids felt very heavy. He was too tired to focus and his vision was blurred.

"You can do it..." The doctor encouraged him while Anirudh and Aaryan stood there restless.

After struggling for some time Agasthya opened his eyes wide. He stared at the middle-aged man standing in front of him.

"I am your doctor and I must say you have been a brave boy. Now it's time to meet your brothers."

Agasthya turned his head to the left side slightly.

"Do you recognize them?"

Aaryan smiled tightly as Agasthya nodded his head.

"Can you tell me who they are?"

Agasthya gulped. His throat and lips felt so dry. He inhaled through his mouth hoping that his vocal cords would make some noise when he spoke.

"Bh... Bhaiya..."

"Great job, Agasthya..." The doctor said smiling.

"Now that he is awake and stable I will allow some alone time. But don't stress him out."

Anirudh thanked the doctor while Aaryan moved close to Agasthya and sat beside him.

"August... How are you feeling right now?"

Agasthya's blank gaze ached Aryan's heart but he didn't give up.

"You don't have to talk if you are tired, baby... But let me just tell you that I am here and you are alright..."

Agasthya looked at the white ceiling trying to get some more sleep. This kind of dream is getting him nowhere so it's better to ignore the mirage.

"What should we do?"
Aaryan whispered to Anirudh as tears made their way through his face.

Anirudh picked up Aaryan's palm and placed them over Agasthya's.
"Let him feel you..."

A cold shiver passed through Agasthya's spine. No matter how hard he tried he was never able to touch his brothers in his dreams... What does that mean?

"It's real August..." Said Anirudh as he made eye contact with his youngest brother after 15 long days.

Agasthya's eyes welled up with tears as he shook his head in disbelief. His whole body was in pain and now his head also started to hurt. He held Aaryan's hand so tight that his muscles started to tense up.

"Hey... It's okay August..." whispered Anirudh placing a kiss on Agasthya's forehead without touching his bandages.
"Relax baby... I love you so much and I am proud of you..."

Agasthya wanted to scream. He wished to hug them, and tell them how much he missed them. He wished to show them how much his brothers meant to him but he couldn't.

The wave of sleep that he was fighting started to take over him.

"It hurts bhaiya... It... It really does."

A sob escaped from Anirudh's throat when Agasthya let out those words. Only if he could take all that pain away into himself and free his baby brother.
But he can't...

"I know baby... I am so sorry..."

Aaryan slightly ran his fingers through Agasthya's hair to calm him down.

"Take me home... Please..."
Said Agasthya as he looked at both his brothers.

"But August..."

"Please... Take me home. I beg you..."

*************

3 weeks later

It's been a week since Agasthya came back to his house. It's not the best decision and Anirudh had to beg the doctor for his approval but Agasthya is glad that he did. After all, everything he ever wanted was to be home.

Time passed as it should... The nights are nights and the days are days. Agasthya spends his time, lying on his bed smiling at his brothers who take turns being with him. They never left him alone not even for a single moment, and Agasthya wouldn't complain about that. He carefully listened to the stories that Aaryan read to him... Stories of kingdoms, stories of wild... Tales of a Prince who lives in the stars. He would listen and listen till he fell asleep. 

Anirudh told him about the glorious comeback of his favourite team in the football league when he was gone. They promised each other to watch the next game together from the gallery after Agasthya's full recovery. They played video games as a team, well more like Agasthya being the brain and giving instructions on what to do next while Anirudh messing it up because he is kind of dumb when it comes to the 'stupid' games.

Anirudh even tried some dad jokes and Agasthya had no mercy pointing out the old man that his brother was becoming.

They shared some good laughs. They fell asleep together. But as normal as it seems all three of them know none of it was real...

Both Anirudh and Aaryan know that a real fight is waiting for them not too far. The PTSD* slowly started to engulf their little brother and they had to fight back.   The symptoms aren't clear yet, but every time Agasthya reached out to hold their hands they could feel the shiver. He didn't speak a word but they knew what it meant.

Agasthya also knew what it was. He focuses on the voices of the world of others so that he can escape from whispers in his head.

He knew he was running as he always does... But those whispers are getting loud and loud each moment passes by and he knows that he can't hide for too long.

He would go mad if he continued to do what he was doing but should he be concerned about that? He understands that his brothers can't help him until he lets them but is it really worth it?

After all he had said and done, when he feels like he left nothing good in his heart and the shades of that beast that came alive just before he almost met death are still here and there in his soul.

Agasthya felt that he was doing the worst thing that he could. He hated himself for anything and everything while all the souls around him kept loving him unconditionally.

He loathed himself for the thing that he became. How can he be this ungrateful when life kindly gave him a second chance?

That's why Agasthya wants to turn back the time. He wants to be who he was, that innocent boy full of love and hope.

But he figured out that he couldn't. That August is dead and gone. And the one who remains isn't worth a save.

Then what should he fight for? To whom should he fight for?

Agasthya closed his eyes not realising that tears were leaking out. He was supposed to be asleep now but thanks to his thoughts, good sleep seemed to be a luxury that he couldn't afford right now.

Against Agasthya's prayers, Anirudh did notice his tears. But he didn't ask anything, he knew that he had to wait until his brother was ready. So he simply wiped them off while caressing his delicate face.

"August... I hope you know that I am here. And no matter how hard you push me away, I am not letting you be alone in this..."

Agasthya whimpered. He didn't wish to hide what he was feeling from his brother, but that was exactly what he was doing. He doesn't understand why... What is happening to him?

"I am not okay... Ani bhaiya... I am not okay..."
That's all he could say.

"And that's okay August... It's okay to be not okay. We will get through this, I promise."

"I want this to be over bhaiya..."

"It will be... It will be over before you know it..."

"I am scared and hurt and lost bhaiya... I am so tired..."

"You can rest as much as you want... I am here, we all are..."

Agasthya sighed. Maybe he should let Anirudh know... His brother would find a way out, wouldn't he?

"Bhaiya?"

"Yes, dear..."

"It's cruel... It's too cruel..."

Anirudh nodded in understanding. The moment he dreaded as well as waited is finally here. After Agasthya gained consciousness none of them ever asked anything about Varun or his prison. They waited till he was ready so that they wouldn't trigger the trauma, not even by mistake. Now that Agasthya wants to let it out it's going to be easier than before.

"The loss is too much to bear... I would do anything to turn this all around... And... And no matter how hard I try, I am not able to forgive... "

'This boy is too kind for his own good' Thought Anirudh as he glanced at Agasthya, who was slowly moving towards the mirror in the room. His condition wasn't very good but he could walk.

"August... It's okay... You are healing..."

Agasthya didn't seem to hear what his brother just said. He was staring at his reflection.

Wounds and scars, here and there. All over his chest. One hand is covered in a cast. His face looked like he was 48 not 18. That's what Anirudh saw.

But Agasthya saw something different. Someone different. A boy standing there holding a piece of ceramic plate, a sharp one, as if it were a weapon. In front of him lay his enemy, his neck cut deep and blood pouring out of it. Both of them were covered in blood. And this time it was Varun's not the boy's.

"I... I can't forgive..." Agasthya repeated. "I just can't... "

Anirudh felt the uneasiness his brother was feeling. He ran towards him.

"You don't have to... The faith was very cruel to you. You never deserved any of it." Said Anirudh. He tried to avoid mentioning Varun's name until it was absolutely necessary.

Agasthya felt his legs get jelly but before he could fall Anirudh's strong hands caught him.

"I am not talking about the faith bhaiya..."

"You don't have to forgive Varun either August... You don't have to forgive anyone who ever hurt you..."
Anirudh managed to spit it out.

Agasthya was sweating but he wasn't crying anymore. Anirudh held the boy closer and patted his back to calm him down.
"You are alright... You are alright... "

"It's not about Varun... Bhaiya..."

Anirudh is confused now.

Agasthya was looking at Anirudh and seconds felt like an eternity.

"I am talking about myself..."

The realisation hit Anirudh hard. He tried his best, but he couldn't figure out what to say.
"August... Agasthya... You..."

"I don't think I could ever forgive... And I am talking about myself..."

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*PTSD: Post-traumatic stress disorder.

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Target: 100 votes
50 inline comments

Your most 'irregular updates & unexplained hiatus' author is kind of back again. The story is gonna be messy forward and it's not a smooth road. Buckle yourself if you are init.