I first met George in the summer of 1997. What is really remarkable about our first meeting is that it was completely unremarkable. George's son Craig, my husband, had just bought a student house with a friend when we were in Chiropractic College. At the time, Craig and I were just friends, and I was renting a room from him. Craig's family is very close, and they were down in the city helping him renovate the basement. I couldn't tell you what day we met, what they were doing or even what I was doing that day, I just remember coming up the porch steps and in the front door, and there they were. George and Linda were sitting on the couch having a visit with Craig. I was introduced to them, shook their hands, made a little small talk and then disappeared upstairs to my room to resume whatever it was I had come in the house to do.

That was it. That's all I can remember about meeting George. I had no idea that he suffered from a debilitating neuromuscular disease. He was simply Craig's dad.

I can't really remember much more about George until the spring of 1998. By that time, I knew that he suffered from Parkinson's disease, but I didn't really know anything about the disease except what I had read in my textbooks. The truly amazing thing is that at that time, I would not have known that George had Parkinson's if Craig hadn't told me, despite the fact that he had been suffering from it for over 25 years.

Craig and I began dating in the spring of 1998. I remember stopping in at their home on the way back from our family cottage in May. It was the first time I had really been able to sit and get to know them on a personal level. They are the loveliest people you will ever meet. That was most likely the first time I noticed George's dyskinesia. In my naïve mind, it didn't seem to affect his day-to-day life much, and I didn't give it much more thought than that.

George's Parkinson's disease became a real entity for me later that year. In our third year of Chiropractic College, we studied neurological diseases. As you can imagine, Parkinson's disease is a must-know for chiropractors because it is disease of the motor system. I can remember sitting beside Craig in class as we were learning about details of this devastating disease, about the drugs and about the psychosocial effects on those suffering from it. I could feel Craig's emotion as we sat in the lecture hall. At that point in my life, I knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with Craig. All of a sudden, it dawned on me that Craig could suffer the same fate as his father, and I would be in the same position as his mother. That was something I didn't know if I could handle. I felt like I was going to suffocate sitting next to him with these thoughts going on in my head.

So, I did the thing any insensitive smuck that can't wait until the end of the lecture to ask a private question would do. I raised my hand and asked if there was any research indicating that this disease was hereditary. I couldn't stop myself. I'm sure that Craig wanted to either slap me or sink right into his chair. I sat on the edge of my seat waiting for our professor's answer. Oddly enough, I can't really remember what he said. I think that on some unconscious level, I decided in the split second it took him to respond that the research is most likely inconclusive on this subject anyway, and it didn't really matter to me what the answer was. I loved Craig and that was that.

From that point on, understanding "the Parkinson's" as his family calls it became a huge part of getting to know his family. "The Parkinson's" is like an honorary member of the family – unfortunately, you can't have one without the other. I learned the personal side of this disease. Quite frankly, it's a side we all would rather read about in someone else's book.

Parkinson's disease is a paradox in itself. It gives the body movements it cannot control, and yet overall, it takes away movement. It is fascinating the way it can ebb and flow through the body. One second, George can be walking next to me, and the next second, he can be pitching forward because his legs have stopped moving. When his medication is working well, he functions quite normally from the outside, but when his medication is off, he can't move at all. George learned quite awhile ago that when he freezes, he can move again if you give him something to step over. He created the "Dingman Device", a funky little add-on to his cane that allows him step over it in case he does freeze. Luckily, just about anything can be a Dingman Device. I remember at one of our Father's Day barbeques a few years ago, George was coming down the stairs and froze just as he stepped onto the lower deck. I happened to be standing next to him, and he reached out to my shoulder to steady himself. It was a very hot day, and someone had discarded his t-shirt over a nearby chair. I grabbed the t-shirt and threw it down on the deck in front of his feet to step over. That was all it took. He stepped over the shirt, and I'm not sure if anyone else noticed. Over the years, I'm sure the family has come up with a number of handy devices like the shirt. Feet work well. Kleenex boxes and skipping ropes also do the trick. Now George has a special cane that has a laser light. When he needs a Dingman Device at night, he simply pushes a button, and a line of red light flashes through the darkness to provide that visual input to the brain, allowing him to move forward without falling. He has a special walker with the same mechanism.

As I mentioned, "The Parkinson's" is a not-so-invisible family member. It is a very selfish family member. It takes and takes and takes some more. First and foremost, it takes away George's comfort. I remember going to see him speak to the College of Pharmacy at the University of Toronto. Their college brings in people who suffer from various conditions and diseases so that their students can see first-hand how these conditions manifest themselves. They put a face to the disease in the hope that it will allow future pharmacists to help their clients in the most effective way possible. After all, people like George have a very personal relationship with their pharmacists.

Anyway, one of the students asked George what it felt like to have this disease dwelling inside you. Being a former teacher, he knew that a demonstration would be much more effective than simply using words. He asked the entire auditorium to stand up. We did. Then, he asked us to try to contract every muscle in our bodies. Then, he asked us to bend over while holding the contraction. "Now", he said, "try to move. That's what Parkinson's feels like all the time."

George is in constant pain. He takes Advil like candy to help dull the pain. Interestingly enough, he began having problems with his kidneys in the summer of 2005. This was most likely due to such a large consumption of pain relievers. He stopped taking Advil and has not found that he feels much worse. It's difficult for all of us to watch him go through so much pain. He often has what he calls "traveling pain". There is always a localized area of his body that is excruciatingly painful. At times, it has been his shoulder, his pelvis, his knee, or his elbow. This pain can be there for months, and then it just moves. There is often no rhyme or reason for it. It's difficult to know what to do to help him. You just never know how much of it is biomechanical correctable or how much of it is "The Parkinson's" settling itself for long winter's nap in that area of the body.

I know that this has been particularly frustrating for both Craig and I as his chiropractors. Let's back up a bit, first. George first started seeing chiropractor decades ago. He was coaching Craig's hockey team when Craig was 10. Craig injured his Achilles' tendon and was not able to play for a time. One of the other hockey dads was Dr. Tom Offen, a chiropractor. He asked why Craig was not able to play and offered to help. Dr. Offen adjusted Craig's spine in order to allow his nervous system to work better. When the nervous system does its job correctly, the whole body works the way it should. Craig was back playing hockey in no time.

George began seeing Dr. Offen in order to get his body working as well as it could give the physical limitations of his disease. He found that chiropractic helped him keep moving and playing sports, he could manage the disease much better. It is my belief that his diligent chiropractic care is one of the many things George has done that has allowed him to become such an anomaly with Parkinson's. There is no one in Canada who has had the disease for so many years and remains so functional.

Dr. Offen has since retired, and George gets adjusted at our office. There are times when he comes in and his spine adjusts like butter. There are other times when it's like trying to move a cement wall. There are also times when he simply can't get out of the car to come inside. George is probably our single biggest challenge in clinic.

We are used to people getting better. In our office, we offer what is called "wellness care" to our patients. That is to say, people generally choose our care when they don't simply want to relieve their pain, they want to fix the source of their problem and make sure it stays fixed for the rest of their lives. When people commit to this kind of care and follow their recommendations, they almost invariably get better. In fact, most people achieve results they never dreamed would be related to chiropractic care. We see this day after day. We expect this.

George is different. We know that the regular adjustments help his body work better, help his mind and body communicate as effectively as possible, and help to get him to the next round of golf. There are a lot of set-backs, though. Techniques that work for most people don't always work for him. Sometimes, working on one area of his body will aggravate another area. "The Parkinson's" has changed the way he moves and the way he walks. He has had to adapt in order to function. That presents challenges that are totally atypical. There are times when we wrack our brains to figure out what the hell is going on in his body to create the symptoms he is experiencing. And then all of a sudden, it can be gone and we haven't learned a damned thing from it to help him the next time.

My mission in this chapter is to explain how George's Parkinson's disease affects my life. Well, I can tell you that from a professional standpoint, it sure has challenged me to say the least. Craig usually adjusts his dad. I feel much less effective as George's chiropractor than Craig does, so I defer to him when it comes to his father's care. Perhaps it is the mother in me, but I have a very difficult time detaching my personal feelings for my father-in-law from his care. It is too painful for me to watch him suffering as he does because I feel that, as his chiropractor, I should be able to take more of his suffering away. I take it very personally that I can't do more for someone who means the world to me. Craig is much better at knowing that it is what it is, and there is only so much we can do. He is better at accepting the fact that chiropractic helps his dad tremendously, and that George likely would have progressed much quicker if he wasn't getting that constant reminder to his nervous system in the form of years of adjustments. Craig is just better at being a really good chiropractor for his father.

Pain is a funny thing. Most people are motivated by lack of pain. I often wonder what suffering from pain on a constant basis does to change your motivation. If "The Parkinson's" has taken George's level of comfort away from him and given him pain instead, I can also say that it has given him a kind of motivation that few of us are privileged to have. George is one of the most positive people I have ever met. He has to be, I suppose. Why else would you bother getting up every day? He figured out years ago that his mental state really affects the manifestation of the disease. Stress and negative emotion make the symptoms worse. Happiness and positive thoughts make the symptoms better. George has had to train himself to stay positive and avoid stress (positive and negative) whenever possible. He has been an incredible role model for Craig and I and our kids. For the whole family, really. He reminds me of Dory, the little fish in Finding Nemo. There is a part where she sings "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming. What do we do? We swim". Well, that's life for George. "The Parkinson's" isn't going to go away, so he finds a way to just keep on swimming. Luckily, he has a much better memory than Dory (selectively, of course).

The whole concept of avoiding stress brings a very interesting family dynamic to the table. Keeping stressful events from others in the family is a very popular pastime in the Dingman household. This was an entirely new concept for me. You see, Craig's family are really the nicest group of people I have ever met in my life. My family is...different. Don't get me wrong, my family is very nice, too, but not in the same way that the Dingmans are. When something needs to be said, it just gets said, and feelings can get hurt. Eventually, we all kiss and make up. When something needs to be said in Craig's family, there is a lot of stewing and figuring going on. Often, bad news is kept from certain members so that people aren't upset. Poor Craig. Meeting my family was like throwing a lamb into a den of wolves. I'm surprised at times that we ended up marrying. Maybe that's a testament to how nice a guy he is.

I'm not very good at keeping my mouth shut. It's a very difficult thing for me to not just say what's on my mind. I think that my lack of finesse in this department was a bit of a shock for George and Linda. I remember years ago having a conversation with Craig about people choosing partners that are like their parents. Craig is very much like my father in some respects and drastically different in others. I asked Craig if I was like his mother. His reply was quite simply, "Good Lord no! She's the nicest person you'd ever want to meet!" I still don't know whether or not to be offended by this. Nonetheless, I have tried over the years to watch what I say and how I say it. I'm pretty sure I've failed miserably. I am getting better, though, because I can see how stress affects George. If stress-avoidance is a means of prolonging his health, then we have all learned to take life a little less seriously. This is not such a bad thing after all.

As I have mentioned, Craig and I have children. Our son, Jackson, was born in 1999, our daughter, Jenna, was born in 2004 and little Cole came along in 2008. People often ask me how the kids react to their Grandpa's Parkinson's. Well, they don't really react at all. We've never hidden it from them, so they've known about it right from day one. They don't see "The Parkinson's", all they see is a grandpa who adores them and who they adore in return. They see the twitchy legs and the other things that go along with the disease, but that's just grandpa to them. It's all part of the package. If only everyone could see George through their eyes.

Having the children has brought up issues around "The Parkinson's" that have caused grief over the years. I remember when Jackson was born, George would only hold him if he was sitting in a chair with arm supports. He was afraid of dropping him. So was I. There is almost five years difference in age between Jackson and Jenna. When Jenna was born, I don't remember George holding her very much at all. I think that his Parkinson's had progressed quite a bit in those five years, and he just did not feel comfortable holding his infant granddaughter. Driving also became an issue. George was a great driver, but sometimes driving is just not a great idea when he has his bad days. Ultimately, George made the very unselfish decision to give up his licence. In doing so, he gave up a great deal of his freedom, which I know has been very hard on him and on Linda. Blame it on "The Parkinson's" again.

For 8 years, George and Linda lived with us in our home during the warm months of the year. It worked out to be a beautiful arrangement for all of us. The children got to spend so much time with their grandma and grandpa while they were here, and the moments they shared were priceless. I think I can say that if it wasn't for "The Parkinson's", they would not have sold their home, rented a place in Florida for six months, and moved in with us. During those six months, I felt so blessed to have the benefit of our three generations living under the same roof. Often, there were four generations in our home as Linda's mom, Betty, spent a lot of time with us. There are not many families who can share care of each other the way we did.

And we really did all take care of each other. The older people (Craig and I, George and Linda) took care of the kids. George and Linda helped to take care of Craig and me in so many ways. We would put the kids to bed and give them the baby monitor and go for a walk together. We could go away for business trips and leave the children with their grandparents in their own home. There were many nights when we came home from work and dinner was waiting for us on the table. We shared many meals and many moments together as a family. And, of course, we all helped take care of George and Linda when they needed it. Craig is a rock for his parents, and I know they feel blessed to be such an integral part of his life.

Life moved on for all of us; Betty passed away a few years ago, Craig and I bought a home out in the country and George and Linda moved into a retirement community and are living on their own again. They still go to Florida for 6 months during the winter each year, but I see this getting more and more difficult with each passing year. There is a part of me that misses those many years when we lived in our home together. But, kids grow, needs change and people get older. I guess that's the way life is.

This chapter has not unfolded the way I thought it would. When I think of "The Parkinson's", I think of the woes it has brought to George's life. In writing about our lives, it has brought to light once again how lucky we are in so many ways. I guess that's easy for me to say since "The Parkinson's" is not my cross to bear. Or perhaps it is George's positive influence on my life. I know that I would not be alone in feeling that if I could take away the pain of this disease from George, I truly would. He has suffered long enough and deserves a break. Any member of his family or his large circle of friends would agree with this.

I asked Linda once before I married Craig whether or not she would choose George again if she had known that more than half of her life would be spent caring for a man with Parkinson's disease. Knowing what you now know about George and Linda, it will be no surprise to hear that her answer was "yes". She would undoubtedly choose George again. He is more than the sum of his Parkinson's. He is a loving, patient, kind, supportive, courageous, wise man, friend, love, husband, father, son, brother and grandfather. He has taught us all strength, grace and love of life and family. His life – the good and the bad - is a gift for all of us to share.

I love you,Dad.