I sat by myself up in my room listening to Knives and Pens by Black Veil Brides. I felt bad for Clifton. PacMan was moving? Cliff hadn’t said how far, but I was pretty sure it would be far.

It was kind of obvious that Cliff liked Jag as more than a friend. But Jag was straight and didn’t notice that Cliff liked him. Poor Clifton. He had had a crush on Jag ever since we were about 13. And now Jag was going to moving away.

Lizzy opened my door and gently shut it. She sat next to me and I glanced at her as my iPod shuffled over to No Pity For A Coward, one of my favorite songs.

She looked at me. “What do you want for dinner?” “I want Stacey’s mom for dinner. Because she’s got it goin’ on.” Lizzy rolled her eyes. “You are such a queer. What do you want to eat?”

“I’m grown up now baby can’t you see? STACEY’S MOM HAS GOT IT GOIN’ ON SHE’S ALL I WANT AND I’VE WAITED FOR SO LONG! STACEY’S CAN’T YOU SEE YOU’RE JUST NOT THE GRIL FOR ME? I KNOW IT MIGHT BE WRONG BUT I’M IN LOVE WITH STACEY’S MOM!”

Lizzy laughed as I sang. We used to sing along to that song all the time when we were younger. Lizzy had once brought a girl named Stacey home from school and I had sang that to her. She had thought I was the most adorable kid she had ever met.

Lizzy ruffled my hair and jokingly shoved me. “You are the weirdest little brother ever,” she said with a laugh. I shoved her back, laughing. “At least Stacey’s mom wants me!” I joked. She rolled her eyes. “It’s alright because the Easter bunny will kidnap you.”

We laughed harder. When I was 5, Lizzy had told me the Easter bunny was going to kidnap me and force me to eat all the eggs. I had been so terrified that night I had slept with my parents. I had a deep fear of the Easter bunny after that, until I found out it wasn’t real.

Lizzy wrapped her arms around me as we laughed together. I liked moments like these. Moments where we were just being close again. Lizzy had left for college when I was 9. She’d met Josh and started dating him. I’d always been kind of jealous of him because he took her attention.

The doorbell rang and I sighed mentally as Lizzy got up to answer it. I picked up my acoustic and strummed it randomly. “Maybe I am crazy and my mind is trying to deceive me. As the ground vanishes I wonder: will the sky be the next to fail me?” I sang gently. “As I watch as everything unravel why should I even try to stop the collapse?”

“You have a pretty voice.”

I spun to face Alex. “What do you want?” I snapped. She sat next to me. “Will you sing me another song?” I glared. “What are you doing here?” “I want to hear another song.” “Well, I don’t want to sing for you.” “Please?” “Why?!” “Because you love me.”

She had a point there.

I sighed.

Life is meaningless without you
Love can be such a beautiful torture
My heart breaks as I long for you
Love can be such lovely torture
I will climb the hills, 
draw my sword and take down
Anyone who tries to stand in front of me
Please know I'll never run away 
without you in my arms
One day lovers will dream of this undying kiss
Not of Romeo or Juliet
Stories told of our love will never die
I've slain the most unholy things, endured such terrific pain
Finally I'll feel your caress again
I've braved the cold and lonely seas, 
I have prevailed against the odds
Then again...
I will climb the hills, 
draw my sword and take down
Anyone who tries to stand in front of me
Please know I'll never run away
without you in my arms
One day lovers will dream of this undying kiss
Not of Romeo or Juliet
Stories told our love will never die
Will you forgive what I've done to give you four white horses?
One day lovers will dream of this undying kiss
Not of Romeo or Juliet
Stories told our love will never die

She smiled at me softly. “You have such a beautiful voice Seamus. But we just can’t be together.” “Why?” I found myself asking desperately. Alex brushed my hair out of my face and looked deeply into my eyes.

***Alex’s POV***

I looked deeply into his beautiful green eyes. They brilliantly shone back at me with desperation. “Because I’m too good for you,” I said softly. “No!” he begged. “No, we can work.”

I shook my head. “No Seamus. We can’t.” Oh how I wish we could. But it was hurting him. This relationship would hurt him too much and I didn’t want that. I needed to stay with Rick and he needed to do whatever it was that he did.

Maybe I was hurting him right now by telling him we couldn’t be, but I was hoping it was going to help him in the long run. “No, you can’t do this to me,” he begged. “Please Alex! I’m sorry I cheated on you! It won’t happen again!”

Slowly, I stood up and backed away. “Alex please!” he cried. It was pathetic to watch him like this. It just wasn’t Seamus’s style. To beg a girl to be with him? It was embarrassing. “Bye Seamus,” I said flatly. “Alex!” he yelled as I shut his door.

Lizzy was standing there.

“I heard everything,” she said quietly. “I’m sorry. If we got in a relationship, it would just hurt him more.” Tears filled her eyes. “I know. I’m not mad at you. I’ve just…I’ve never heard him so desperate before.” She wiped her eyes.

“Will you keep an eye on him for a little?” I asked nervously, knowing he cut himself. She nodded. “Of course.” I thanked her and left.

***Lizzy’s POV***

Oh my poor, poor baby brother. I couldn’t be mad at Alex. She was just trying to do what was right for Seamus.

But was it right to break his heart?

I sighed and opened his bedroom door. “Seamus!” I cried and ran to him. His wrist was gently bleeding and he was tightly gripping his pocket knife. I yanked it out of his hand. “Come with me,” I said, suddenly feeling tired.

He numbly followed me to the bathroom where I bandaged his wrists. I dragged him downstairs where Josh was sitting. He watched with careful eyes. I knew he hated my brother. But I loved Seamus and I was not going to abandon him.

“Sit here until dinner is ready,” I said. I used to make him do that when I babysat him when he was a little kid. He would usually jump up and run off though. Then I’d get mad and tell dad when he got home. Dad was the only one who had ever been able to have any sort of control of Seamus.

But Shame just looked too defeated to do anything at the moment. I began to cook dinner for everyone, glancing at him often. He just sat there like a statue. Why was this happening to him? He was just a kid!

I sighed.

***Alex’s POV***

I sat with Rick giggling. He was pretty cute. He kissed me and I smiled at him. But I was seriously distracted.

Seamus Fitzpatrick. What was I going to do about that boy?