“NO!”

I watched in horror as Clifton thudded onto the ground. I don’t even know what happened. Someone jumped in front of me and now Clifton was on the ground.

Light raced over to him as Jake came at me. He knocked Jake to the ground and began to violently beat him. “Hold him!” someone shrieked. Jay and Jer held Jake as Light went to check on Clifton, tears in his eyes.

“Cliff? Oh my god Cliff,” he whispered. Clifton sat up shakily. “Paxton,” he whispered. My eyes widened. I hadn’t noticed PacMan partially under Clifton. “I-I tried to push him out of the way. I was too slow,” Clifton whispered.

We dropped around PacMan. “Call 911!” I screamed. I heard someone on their cell phone. Light and Clifton ripped PacMan’s shirt off. “Oh my…oh god,” Richie whispered in horror. I couldn’t form a sound.

He had been stabbed in the gut.

He was losing blood fast. They pressed his shirt against the wound. I just stared. PacMan was unconscious and just laying, blood slowly trickling out of his mouth. That should have been me. I should’ve been stabbed.

We heard the ambulance wailing and then paramedics shoved us out of the way as they got to work on PacMan. Cop cars were speeding towards the lot. I sprinted over to Alex. “Go,” I whispered. She had tears in her eyes. I pointed. “Go!” I begged. She ran.

Good. She would be safe.

The cops cuffed Jake and took us all down to the station. They asked all of us what had happened and when our stories matched up, they called our parents to come get us.

I climbed into the car with mom a long time later. “I can’t believe you Seamus!” she shrieked. “I hate you! Why can’t you just behave? I HATE YOU! I WISH YOU WERE NEVER BORN!”

I punched the window with my good hand. “God dammit you bitch shut up!” I shrieked. “One of my best friends is dying in the hospital because of me! JUST SHUT UP!”

Throwing open the car door, I raced out. I needed one person right now. One person, and one person only.

I ran to Alex’s house.

I pounded on the door desperately. Her father opened it and gave me a confused look. “May I help you?” he asked. “Alex,” I said, out of breath from running. “I need to talk to Alex.”

He led me to Alex’s room and knocked on the door. Alex opened it and threw her arms around me. Her dad left us alone. She sobbed into my shoulder. “This is all my fault!” she cried.

I sat down on her bed with her. I wasn’t good at comforting people. Not at all. “It’s not your fault. It’s Jake’s fault. That sick bastard,” I said shakily.

Alex wiped her eyes and turned on her TV. The news was on. “They’re going to do a quick story on it soon,” she whispered.

The news lady’s face appeared. “Good evening. Tonight’s top story is on the stabbing of a young boy in a fight. 16 year old Paxton Jaggers is hospitalized in critical condition after being stabbed in the gut during a fight. Authorities say the offender has been taken into custody and all involved in the fight were brought in for questioning. All involved told the authorities that when the offender attempted to stab a boy he had gotten in a conflict with earlier that day, Jaggers jumped in front of the blade.”

PacMan’s mom and step dad appeared on the screen in front of the hospital. His step dad was holding his violently sobbing mother. “H-He’s my only son. He’s all I have. Oh god,” she sobbed.

I turned the TV off.

I didn’t want to hear this.

I didn’t want to be reminded of what PacMan and his family were going through because of me. I had convinced my friends to join the fight. I had gone after Jake. This was all my fault. I should’ve listened to Jer.

Why was this happening to Jag? He was such a good person. He had never hated anyone. He had never done a mean thing in his life. He was a caring, loving person. He was a naturally good guy. Jag was an amazing person. He loved everyone.

This world was cruel to good people.

This world had no mercy for the naïve.

No mercy for the innocent.

No mercy for those who wanted to make it a better place.

Alex was hugging me but I felt so numb. All this because I wanted attention. And now PacMan was going to die.

“Seamus?” Alex whispered. I looked at her. I looked into her eyes. “I lied,” I whispered. She gave me a confused look. “I lied,” I whispered. “I love you. I really love you. I don’t care about the attention. I love you.”

Despite everything, despite all this pain, despite all I was going through, I was telling the truth to Alex. I kissed her deeply.