You are my first ever dating app date. I found a lot of firsts with you. But honestly, I'm just grateful for the time, effort, and trust you gave me.

I'll be lying if I would say that I never hoped for us to be more than the exclusively dating status we had.

But you opened my doors to things I haven't done before. You helped me explore more of the unknown. You pushed me to not be afraid to take a different path. I wish it didn't have to end so early. Because we were both just at the beginning and I was hoping for more from us.

Three weeks was never enough for me to fully understand you. We had our differences and incompatibilities that made us decide to end this. As much as I wanted to hate you and call you an asshole. I just couldn't because you weren't an asshole and I don't hate you for leaving. I hated that things had to end when I was still at the point of figuring out how to be happy again with your presence.

I hoped you had given me a chance to show more of what I could give you. But I wanted to respect your decision of not wanting to continue this.

Career was another factor. You choose to focus more on your budding career. And I fully understand that.

We're young. We are both at a phase where we strive to reach the peak of success. Thriving hard to be deemed as someone great in the field we're taking and prove that we are so much more than what people see us to be. We have goals to look after, may we either be a part of each other's future or not.

There are so many things that I wanted to say after that last call. If you ever remember, I said there are so many thoughts in my head that I just couldn't voice out. I'm not sure but maybe because I was overwhelmed.

I guess I want to thank you for being honest with your feelings. I'd admit. I cried the moment that call dropped. You left a mark that made me pursue a path to step out of my comfort zone.

I am now becoming a person who I once dreamed of. A strong, independent, and determined girl taking bigger steps despite the unforeseen risks that comes along with it. You helped me break me out of my shell.

You were a catalyst that led me to believe that I could actually be the girl I once pretended to be. You may not see every step of achieving my goals and desires but pulling me out of that isolated zone I once found a home in, was the start of it all.

One day, I will look back to all those car rides and small talks and remember those momentarily happiness I felt with you, is the beginning of learning self-love. 

February 14, 2022 | BPR