Weeks passed as Ashton grappled with his decision. He tried to get on with his life and not to think so seriously about his grandfather's light-hearted suggestion. But even as he filled his days with watching Keelie and Raine, teaching Gale different hunting strategies, and gathering food for his family, he just couldn't focus on anything else.

Now that he had the idea to use his wish to become human, Ashton couldn't get Niles out of his head. I have to see him again, he thought. It was just like when he had first come back home— his thoughts were full of the human all day, and then he saw Niles in his dreams each night.

When the dreams and thoughts of Niles refused to stop, he sat himself down to seriously consider the possibility of leaving his family to go back to the human. As much as he hated to admit it, that was the only path that felt right. Not even the tantalizing option of having his wings back stirred his heart in the same way that Niles did.

Once he realized this, Ashton gave himself a few more weeks to see if the feelings would eventually fade. But they only grew worse. Soon, all he could think about was Niles, and he knew that if he decided to try to forget about the human doctor like he did when he first came back, that he would deeply regret it.

He had to use his wish to become human.

And the first person he needed to tell was his mother.

Ashton waited until they were alone in their family's quarters to broach the subject. Gale was off hunting with their cousins, Keelie and Raine were in the pond with his father, and he had offered to help his mother with her weaving.

He eyed her carefully as he pulled apart the dried plant fibers for her, smoothing them out and placing them in the basket beside her loom. She was serenely focused on the task at hand, but he knew she was waiting for him to say something about the wish. A private moment like this was the perfect time to discuss it, and he knew that she was well aware of it.

His whole clan was eager to grant him his wish, and his mother was no exception. She had waited patiently for him to broach the topic himself, but after all this time, Ashton knew that her curiosity was starting to turn to concern.

"Mamaire," Ashton began. Slowly. Hesitantly. Testing the waters. "I think..." he took a deep breath. "No. I know what I want to wish for."

She immediately put her weaving down and looked at him expectantly, yellow eyes intrigued.

"Oh?" she remarked. "What is it?"

Ashton took another deep breath. The hesitancy didn't come from being unsure about his decision. It was just... what he was about to say would surely hurt his mother. And there was no retracting this statement once it was said aloud.

"I want... to become human."

Time seemed to stop as his mother became completely still. Ashton waited nervously, wondering if he should repeat himself, when she suddenly broke the silence.

"What?" she asked. Her voice was so quiet that Ashton had to lean closer to hear her.

Nothing about her reaction boded well, but he pressed forward.

"My wish," he repeated. "I want to use it to become human."

She fell silent once again, and Ashton stared at her, trying to make out the emotions that warred across her soft features. Finally, she stood up and walked over to the wall to peer out the window that overlooked the pond.

"Why?" she managed to get out. She didn't look at him.

Ashton stayed seated, knowing that she would like his reasoning even less than his request.

"It's... Niles," he said reluctantly.

She whirled around to face him at that, a look of confusion on her face.

"That human doctor?" she asked, and he nodded.

"I... want to go back to him," Ashton explained. He gestured down to himself. "But I can't like this. I'm too small. I don't fit into a human world. I can't be part of his life as a faerie."

His mother grasped the windowsill and stared at him. "Why..." she said faintly. "Why would you need to be part of a human's life? You have your own life to live. Here. As a faerie. With our clan."

Ashton shook his head. "I'm barely part of this clan anymore," he corrected quietly. "I'm more a part of the sprites now, if anything."

His mother threw her hands up into the air. "The sprites, then!" she said desperately. "You have your own life to live with the sprites." Her eyes glimmered with tears. "With us. With our family."

Ashton opened his mouth to speak, but she wasn't done yet. "And... and if this is about not feeling part of the clan anymore, then how about you use your wish for wings?" she suggested. "That's what we all assumed you'd wish for, anyway. That sounds good, right? Having your wings back? You can wish for that! It will... it will be like it was before!"

Ashton's own eyes welled up. "I know," he got out. "But I..." he sighed shakily and stopped.

How can I express this in a way she understands? he thought sadly. He missed his clan, but he had found belonging with the sprites. Having his wings back... well, it was tempting, but Ashton now knew that the hole he felt had nothing to do with his clan or his identity or even the loss of his wings. He had moved past all that.

But what he hadn't moved past was losing Niles. And the pull that he felt towards Niles was so much stronger than the pull towards his old life as a full-fledged clan member, stronger than his comfortable old life of predictability.

"It's just... Niles," he said helplessly. "I have to go back. I've... I've loved him for years. I... believe he is my hokla. I have to go back to him."

Whatever explanation Ashton's mother was expecting to hear, it certainly wasn't that. Her face paled underneath the light dusting of freckles across her cheeks, and she clenched the windowsill even tighter to steady herself.

"That won't work, Ashton!" she argued. "How could it possibly work? You're a faerie. He's a human. It's been three years, too! What if he has a hokla of his own already? What if he's forgotten you? What if he's not even alive anymore? You know how short lived those humans are. And their lives are often even shorter with all the accidents and illnesses that befall them."

Ashton shook his head. He had thought of these things, too, of course. But he had to go back to see for himself. "I'll figure it out," he assured her. "But this... this is something that I need to do."

His mother sank down to the ground, giving up her useless battle to remain upright. "I thought you were doing better," came her muffled voice from behind her hands. "I thought you had come back to us, that you... that you had left all thoughts of what had happened behind you." 

The sound of a sob came from behind her fingertips. "I don't know how else to help you," she got out. "I didn't even know that you still needed help."

Ashton finally walked over to the windowsill and crouched beside her, wrapping his arms around her shoulders.

"I'm sorry, Mamaire," he murmured into her hair as she sobbed. "I'm so, so sorry."

_________________________________________________________________

A/N: Ahhh so sad. Anyone else getting the whole "But Daddy, I love him!" vibes from The Little Mermaid? Because that's essentially Ashton's argument, too. 

As a little PSA, I normally don't condone just randomly throwing your whole life and family and, idk, species away to pursue someone who probably doesn't even like you back, but this is a work of fiction. And in said work of fiction, Niles and Ashton are totally soulmates. The end. 

Anyway, now Ashton has to tell the whole rest of his family. Whomp whomp.