Ancilla is chock full of BDSM.

It's not that I have anything against vanilla per se, but it isn't the spice that I reach for first. Also, from a writing standpoint, I find that BDSM makes for interesting thought experiments.

BDSM stands for bondage, discipline, and sadomasochism. A number of nonfiction books have been written about it. Those who are curious would do worse than checking out the work of Lee Harrington, Dossie Easton, Catherine Liszt, Patrick Califia, and/or Jay Wiseman, to name a few. For something shorter than a book, Wikipedia is a solid enough place to start.

Like any hot pepper, BDSM can be used in small amounts to provide a little bit of extra heat or to bring out flavor, or the capsaicin level can be intensified to such a degree that the chili in the crock pot is asking for a visit from the local fire department.

It's not at all uncommon for otherwise vanilla couples to experiment a little in the kitchen and play around with a bit of spanking, light bondage, or creative role-play. The more intense things get, the less casual the kink, the less common.

This stands to reason if you think about it.

I'm not going to go into detail describing the various creative ways people can play with each other and find new and different things to do to spice up their lives. That would require me to write an entire book. I'd rather save that sort of writing for my fiction.

However, I do want to mention the existence of edge play.

It's controversial in the BDSM community. Why? Because it might pass for RACK (risk-aware consensual kink) but it's only SSC (safe, sane, consensual) on a bare technicality.

We in the kink community put a great deal of stock in our alphabet soup, and our broth is full of SSC.

To be safe, play needs to be set up in such a way that actual harm and injury is unlikely to happen. Fun bruises and welts are one thing, but nobody likes a trip to the emergency room to treat ripped tendons.

Sanity is a bit more muddy and subjective, but basically it involves players discussing things well in advance of play and making sure trauma triggers are avoided, things do not get extreme to the point of being ridiculous, people do not make unrealistic demands of each other, and care is taken to approach things with a modicum of common sense.

I shouldn't even have to elaborate on what it means for love-games to be consensual, but I will, because in real life, there is unfortunately some confusion still about what consent entails. Enthusiastic consent is not just an "absence of no." People need to agree in advance to what they will be doing, they need to understand fully what the activity will entail, and they should check in frequently with each other to make sure they're still eager to keep doing it. If one person has temporarily given over power to another, it is especially important for the person in power to check frequently on the state of the person who has temporarily surrendered it.

Edge play pushes the limits of SSC on one or more of these points for the duration of play. Sometimes a person may agree to a temporary total power exchange, where no safeword will be honored and the dominant partner must be trusted with absolute control of the scene for the duration of play. Sometimes play may get very unsafe indeed - asphyxiation and other forms of breath play can cause permanent brain damage or even fatality, and while "choking" may be more popular these days than it used to be, that doesn't make it any more safe. Sometimes people may agree to play roles for a time in order to deliberately trigger traumatic memories and responses in an attempt to exorcise them or at least desensitize the person who has been coping with the trauma, which sounds like a great idea, except for the fact that sexual dominants are not trained therapists.

Edge play is controversial for a reason.

I write about edgy characters. Edge play makes for interesting thought experiments and interesting stories, and people who would dwell in the area marked HERE THERE BE DRAGONS if there was a map drawn make interesting characters. In real life, however, I will now urge people to exercise discretion, move at a pace that is comfortable, and keep the principles of SSC in mind. I would be surprised if many of you want to be characters in my tales. Some situations are better stories than realities.