Jeongguk remembers when he used to celebrate his birthday. The memories are vague and faded with the passage of time, but they're still there, somehow. He remembers the smiles, the laughter. He remembers the taste of cake when he was young, followed by the taste of legal alcohol when he became of age. But birthdays slowly turned sour, when he watched the people around him physically age while he stayed the exact same. While he watched the people he knew wither and die at age eighty and he was still a carbon copy of who he was at age eighteen.

He remembers meeting Jimin on his 75th birthday.

How ironic that he's spending his 213th with Jimin's great grand daughter. In an ideal world, that would be a good thing, especially considering the fact that she is his soulmate. But the world they live in is far from ideal. She isn't speaking to him, hell, isn't even looking in his direction. On top of that, she's in a weird kind of almost relationship with his ex-bestfriend, so that's unpleasant. But he supposes he deserves that.

The longer he thinks about what Haneul said, the more accurate it sounds. He is a coward. He's terrified and he knows it. But this fear has been deep rooted, and it's going to take a lot more than words to banish. It's going to take a lot more than even the ghost of the feeling of Haneul's lips working against his own as they kissed on the kitchen counter in the early morning sunlight. It's going to take a force that Jeongguk isn't even sure exists.

It's been four days since Namjoon was taken, and they've had no luck in finding out where they've been held captive. Each day is spent canvassing all the sketchy areas of Seoul, and each night is spent combing the bars and clubs for any signs. In all honesty, they don't even know what they're looking for—they already have all the major parts of the equation. The who: Mrs. Choi and the bouncer. The why: to make Jeongguk suffer as much as possible. All they need now is a location, and that's the one thing they don't know how to get.

Seokjin is the one person who even bothers speaking to Jeongguk at this point. Jeongguk doesn't treat him differently than the others—he's still rude and insensitive, sarcastic and inconsiderate. But Seokjin brushes it off. Jeongguk doesn't know when it happened, but somewhere along the line Seokjin accepted his behavior. Either that, or he sees right through his act. With each passing day, though, Seokjin grows more and more worried about Namjoon, and with that, he grows more and more attached to Jeongguk. Like he believes Jeongguk is his only hope of getting Namjoon back, and that only puts Jeongguk on edge more.

This, Seokjin becoming more and more clingy, is how Jeongguk's birthday gets exposed. He wasn't planning on telling anyone that today is his birthday—it's not like anyone would really care anyways. But as soon as Seokjin finds out, any intentions to keep it a secret are thrown out the window. They had been talking about the night Seokjin had first taken Jeongguk to a club. Seokjin reminisces upon it more fondly than Jeongguk does, but he humors the man regardless. "And you had come in a moment after me—what were you doing outside?" Seokjin asks, and Jeongguk sighs.

"I was getting threatened by our good friend the bouncer, of course. He found me out when I had to show him my I.D." Jeongguk says, trying to sound as bored as possible and keep the discomfort out of his voice.

"Oh, that's right. Wait, I've never seen your I.D. photo!" Seokjin exclaims. Jeongguk shakes his head firmly.

"Absolutely not." Jeongguk says, but Seokjin doesn't give up so easily.

"Oh, come on, hyung," Seokjin whines. "I bet you're handsome." He coos.

"Nope." Jeongguk stands resolute in his decision. Seokjin reaches over and pokes his cheek. "I'll break that finger."

"No you won't, Jeonggukkie. You're a softie in there, under all those tattoos and that bad attitude." Seokjin says, and Jeongguk shoots him a dirty look. So he does see through his act. Fantastic.

"If I let you see it will you leave me alone?" He says, and Seokjin nods. Jeongguk knows the chances of him actually upholding his end of the agreement are slim, but he can't make himself say no to Seokjin. Sighing, he reaches into his pocket and withdrawals his wallet, handing it to Seokjin. The other man eagerly flips it open.

"Wow, you look the same!" He exclaims, and Jeongguk rolls his eyes.

"Surprise, surprise." He mumbles sarcastically.

"Wait—are you shitting me?" Seokjin asks suddenly, bringing the card closer to his face and squinting. "Do my eyes deceive me?" Raising an eyebrow, Jeongguk looks over his shoulder.

"What?" He asks.

"Jeon Jeongguk! Today's your birthday, and you weren't gonna say anything?" Seokjin practically shouts. Jeongguk shushes him quickly, about to chastise him, but it's too late. The damage has already been done. Taehyung's apartment is only so big, and the majority of their group is sitting with them in Taehyung's living room.

"Ah, shit." Jeongguk breathes out, looking at his former friends uncomfortably.

"It's your birthday?" Haneul asks quietly from her seat next to Hoseok. It's the first thing she's said to him in days, and it makes his heart ache. At a loss for words, he nods.

"Who gives a fuck?" Yoongi asks, sending Jeongguk a look that would wither flowers. Yoongi is one person that has had a zero-tolerance policy for Jeongguk ever since he arrived, and Jeongguk doesn't blame him. The bruises Jeongguk left on his face with his fists are still present, splotches of color on his pale skin.

"Yoongi's right, it's not worth our time." Jeongguk says, taking the opportunity to change the subject. "I've thought of another plan to try to find Taehyung and Namjoon." He stands and walks over to the coffee table, on which he had a couple photos of Namjoon. Seokjin had brought them from his and Namjoon's apartment to make him feel better. He picks them up, holding the photos of his smiling friend gently in his calloused hands. "So, we're gonna put up flyers. And we're gonna get a photograph of Namjoon on the news—"

"Whoa, hold on." Wooseok speaks up. "I thought you said we couldn't try to make the abductions public knowledge because Taehyung is a Wanderer and people would do more harm than good."

"Wow, Wooseok! You're so smart! Such a good listener!" Jeongguk says, voice dripping in sarcasm, a sardonic smile on his face that he immediately drops. "Shut the hell up and let me explain." Wooseok goes silent. "We couldn't try to publicize anything before because it was just Taehyung. Now, Namjoon's missing. We know who has him and why, we just don't know where. Only we know that. But, it happened in an incident that looks isolated from Taehyung's to the people that don't know what we know."

"So, you're saying we can go through the news because Joonie's...um, incident looks unrelated to Taehyung's, so people won't act like they would if it were related to a Wanderer?" Seokjin connects the dots. Nodding, Jeongguk smiles a bit. The others still look a bit skeptical.

"Exactly. I mean, think about it. Namjoon was taken from a highly populated area with low security in the center of Seoul's nightlife. Namjoon is a grown man, who's tall and strong enough to have put up a fight. Someone had to have seen something that might help us." Jeongguk explains. The room is silent for a moment, but it's broken by Hoseok.

"It might work." He says softly.

"It's all we've got." Yoongi says, much more pessimistically.

"But how are we going to get the flyers and a news outlet to broadcast it?" Wooseok asks.

"I've got connections at a local station. A guy owes me a favor." Hoseok speaks up again, and Jeongguk almost smiles. There's another one of Hoseok's endless supply of favors. "If we get down there soon, we could probably get the picture on the six o'clock news." He proposes, standing up. Yoongi hops to his feet as well.

"I'll come with you." He says. Jeongguk hands a photo to Hoseok, who makes eye contact with him then. It's unspoken, but there's hope in his eyes. And when Jeongguk smiles, rather than glaring, the hope only builds.

"Be safe." Jeongguk murmurs, surprising both himself and Hoseok. After the shock fades from his features, a reluctant smile forms on his lips and he nods. And like that, him and Yoongi are out the door.

"Okay, well, we've got the news handled. Now for the flyers." Jeongguk says. "Does Taehyung have a printing press of some sort?" Haneul has a hint of a smile in her eyes then at his old fashioned ways. It reminds her of the old Jeongguk, the one she fell in love with.

"I've got a printer, but it'll take forever to get a good amount of copies. It's old and running out of ink."

"There are some good printers at my hospital." Haneul says, looking between the other men. "Industrial, meant for a lot of copies. I could get us in." Haneul says.

"I'll come with—" Seokjin goes to speak, but Jeongguk cuts him off.

"That's probably not the best idea. The bouncer and Mrs. Choi will probably be looking to get ahold of one of you two next—you're the most emotionally vulnerable right now. You should stay here at the house; the less of us that are out and about, the better." Jeongguk says.

"Well, who's gonna go with her?" Wooseok asks.

"I can handle it." Haneul says.

"I will." Jeongguk says at the same time. The two connect eyes. "Haneul, you're small. The bouncer has a good eight inches and a hundred pounds on you. You're not going alone."

"I can protect myself." She says, eyes cold, and stubborn as always.

"I'm going with you, and that's final." He practically hisses. "I won't say a word to you if that's what you want, but I'm not gonna let you go alone when people are out there looking to get to you." He insists. "Please." For the first time, an emotion other than anger or annoyance bleeds through to his tone. This is worry, concern, and desperation all wrapped up into one in such a way that Haneul's resolve crumbles.

"Fine. We're leaving in ten."

•••

The only sound in the room is the mechanical whirring of the printer. Getting into the hospital hadn't been hard, what with Haneul working there and all of the front desk secretaries loving Jeongguk from when he used to bring Haneul breakfast after night shifts. The worst part of the whole situation was the awkwardly suffocating silence enveloping Jeongguk, Haneul, and the steadily working printer. The room smells like ink and tangible discomfort.

"Why didn't you tell me your birthday?" Haneul asks abruptly. Jeongguk's eyes widen, but he quickly composes himself.

"I didn't think you'd care." He shrugs, attempting nonchalance.

"I don't." Haneul says sharply, and Jeongguk has to try hard not to physically recoil. That stung.

"Oh." He says dumbly, and internally kicks himself.

"I meant while we were...together. If you had told me then, I would have remembered." She says, and this soothes the stinging in Jeongguk's heart a bit—she wouldn't have remembered if she didn't care at least a little bit.

"I don't know. Birthdays stopped being fun for me after a while, I guess." He says truthfully, and this causes Haneul to drop her facade. He can see the hints of guilt on her face.

"You're 213 today, right?" She asks softly, and he nods. They haven't made eye contact once this whole time, Jeongguk opting to make intense eye contact with a spot on the floor and stealing glances at her when she wasn't looking. Little did he know, she was doing the same.

"Mhm. I'm a teenager all over again. Joy." He says sarcastically, and Haneul exhales loudly. He knows it would have been a laugh if she wasn't mad at him.

"That explains your attitude problem." She quips, and Jeongguk can't help but smile at that one, chuckling lowly.

"I deserve that." He says quietly, and she smiles a bit.

"For sure." She agrees, and they suddenly go to steal a peek at the other at the same time, and find themselves looking directly into each other's eyes. Jeongguk can't keep up his persona when she's looking at him like that.

"You know what I want for my birthday?" He blurts, and Haneul raises her eyebrows in question. Cautiously, he steps closer to her, hands coming up to cup her face in his hands.

"Jeongguk—"

"Just...let me say this." He chokes out. "You're mad at me. I don't blame you. But...you're all I want today. Hell, you're all I've ever wanted, any day. Every day." He stammers, and Haneul feels heat rush to her cheeks.

"Well, we can't always get what we want." Haneul says, but her voice holds no conviction, and she doesn't go to move away from his touch. If anything, she leans into it.

"I thought about what you said. You're right, I am a coward." He admits softly. "And...I'm gonna try to stay." He says, finally voicing what has been at the forefront of his thoughts for the past few days. Haneul's eyes light up, but there's a hint of hesitance to believe him yet. "Leaving you was selfish. I didn't realize it, but it was. You made me realize that...and that I've spent my whole life running, trying to protect those that I love, but I've hardly spent any time at all living." He says, and Haneul visibly shivers at the magnitude of his words. "I want to live again, Haneul. And I can only do that with you."

"Will you promise to stay?" She asks, voice shaky, but still
unwilling to give into him. His thumbs gently rub circles into her cheeks.

"I can't yet. I'm still scared, still a coward. That fear will not go away until we get the others back unharmed, and finish this whole thing for good. Until then, I'm not promising anything. I'm not one to make promises I can't keep." He says, and he can see the underlying sadness on Haneul's face. "But I'm telling you I'll try. Can't that just be good enough for now?" He asks, desperation seeping into his voice again. Haneul bites her lower lip in consideration, wondering whether or not she wants to trust him with her heart again when she knows it very well could get broken again.

But when she looks up at him, at the pure and sincere love in his pretty eyes—her heart overpowers her brain. She can't resist—he's her soulmate. Her body is wired to respond to his, her strings of fate so tightly intertwined with his that it makes her judgment questionable. But right now, she doesn't care. She just nods, and watches with contentment as the first genuine smile she has seen on his face in months blooms on his soft lips, and as soon as she sees it, those lips are upon her own.

This kiss is different than the ones they shared a few nights ago. That one was desperation, yearning, adrenaline. This one is love. This one is just unadulterated love, as cheesy as it sounds. It makes Haneul's body feel like it's on fire from the top of her head to the tips of her toes. Jeongguk's blood feels electric in his veins. They're both dazed and hazy when they pull back for air, partly from the lack of oxygen, and partly from the sweet, sweet feeling of completeness that neither had had in a long time.

"Please don't make me regret this." She murmurs to him, hands playing with his hair ever so softly. Jeongguk feels a pang of worry, but he brushes it away.

He needs to live for now. Not his past 212 years of bad luck and misfortune. Not for his next however many years of unknown experiences in the future. He needs to live for now, his 213th year of life, his 77,745th day, his 1,865,880th hour. For this very hour, down to the minute, down to the second is most important, because the one most precious to him is safe in his arms. He can only control what he does with right now, not his past or his future. So, naturally, he does what will make the most of right now.

He dips down and kisses her once more, gently, with care.

"I love you, Haneul." He says simply. It isn't a lot, but all of what he needs her to know is packed into those five little syllables.

"I love you, too, Gguk." She murmurs in reply.

And for right now, that was more than enough.