"You had something you wanted to tell me?"

Tyler's head snapped up at the sound of Josh's voice. "Oh. Yeah. Um..." He dropped his eyes and shifted his weight. "Can we go somewhere more...private?"

"Sure." Josh didn't even question him, and Tyler sighed in relief.

He glanced around the station, but he couldn't see Clancy or Nico anywhere. There was a decent crowd now that it was morning, but he was pretty sure two imaginary boys covered in blood and bruises would stand out. He hoped they were okay, but he was too afraid to go look for them. He rubbed his stomach absentmindedly, cringing at the dull stinging.

Josh glanced at him, and Tyler was sure he saw him rub his wrist. He couldn't have known, could he? Tyler didn't want him to know about what he'd done. Then he'd know he'd broken his promise. That day in the treehouse seemed so long ago.

The crowded streets were both comforting and unnerving as they left the train station and vanished in between throngs of people. Tyler hated that he flinched whenever someone brushed against him, but he liked the feeling of safety in numbers. He was covered here. No one would notice him. He stayed staring at the found, but he noticed things about people, like the bright colored rain boots of a little girl who looked up at him with wide blue eyes, or the twisted cane carrying an old man. He couldn't remember ever being round so many people before. He'd always been isolated, even as a small child.

Then his thoughts wandered back to Nico's accusation the night before. He was a burden, and he knew it. He knew that was why he never went to public school like his other siblings. He knew that was why his mother watched him constantly. He wondered suddenly what she was doing now. What did she think of him? Had she called the police? Did she know he'd run away, or was she afraid someone like the man from the forest had found him? Maybe she was waiting for a call to come saying they'd found his body somewhere. He bet she didn't even miss him. It was probably freeing to be able to live her life for once instead of having to babysit her sixteen year old son.

"How about we go up there?" Josh asked, pointing to the top of what looked like an abandoned construction sight. There was a half finished building in the middle that towered over the streets.

"How do we get up there?" Tyler asked, rather enticed by the idea of complete privacy on the top of the world.

"There should be some stuff round the back we can climb up. If you're okay with heights and stuff." Josh glanced at him for reassurance, and Tyler gave him a strained smile.

"Yeah, that sounds great."

...

Tyler felt like the king of the world on top of the building. He felt as though nothing could touch him, and that he could spread his wings and fly away without a care in the world.

"What if I just jumped off?" Tyler said suddenly. "How would it feel to fall?"

"It would feel like freedom, until you're halfway down." Josh sat on the edge of the building and dangled his legs over the side. "Then you'd forget all that and suddenly regret it."

"But maybe I wouldn't." Tyler sat next to him and rested his chin on his hand.

Josh shrugged. "Maybe not."

They sat in silence for a long moment, but Tyler didn't mind. Silence with Josh was rarely uncomfortable. Most of the time, it was peaceful. Sometimes, the world needed a little quiet, a little stillness. Tyler watched the cars and the people go by below them like tiny ants. Now he was bigger than an ant. "I created this world," he whispered softly, "to feel some control."

"What was that?" Josh said.

"Oh, nothing."

Destroy it if I want.

"I think I'm ready to tell you now." He wasn't ready. He would never be ready. How was he supposed to tell anyone when he couldn't even tell the one person in the world he trusted? He could feel the sweat trickle down the back of his neck and wet the undersides of his arms, and his mouth suddenly went very dry. He licked his lips nervously, but couldn't bring himself to say it.

"Do you need some more time?" Josh asked. His voice was gentle. Tyler wasn't sure how, but he knew. He knew that what he was about to say was earth shattering.

"Maybe a little," Tyler whispered.

Josh pulled a small box and his lighter out of his jacket pocket, and then glanced at Tyler. "Do you mind if I...?"

Tyler tipped his head to read the box, and frowned. "You know smoking can give you lung cancer, right?"

Josh shrugged. "I don't do it very often. Once a month maybe. Only when it gets really bad. It relieves stress and relaxes me."

"Then go ahead." Who was he to insist others' coping mechanisms were unhealthy? He had plenty of those himself.

Josh flashed him a relieved smile. "Thanks." He slipped one of the cigarettes out of the pack and put it between his teeth, lighting it with a sigh. When he blew out his first breath of smoke, Tyler scrunched up his nose at the smell. Josh glanced at him. "Want one?"

Tyler started to decline, and then paused. If it helped Josh, maybe it would help him. "Sure. But I...I don't know how."

"It's easy. I'll light it for you." Josh lit a second cigarette and passed it to him. "You just kinda..." He took a breath and then took the cigarette out of his mouth and exhaled a puff of smoke.

Tyler tried it, but inhaled too much smoke. The putrid taste filled his mouth and nose and he started to cough, surprised and frankly quite disgusted. How could someone stand smoking a whole cigarette?

"You're supposed to blow it back out," Josh said, starting to smile.

"I'm sorry, but that's disgusting," Tyler said, coughing again.

"Try one more time. If you don't like it, you can just put it out. I don't mind. These aren't even mine. They're Dad's."

Tyler tried again, and he managed to blow out a puff of smoke instead of simply inhaling it. He still hated the taste, though he felt the slightest buzz in his head that made him try one more time. He cringed again, and then put the cigarette out on the roof. "I can't do that. I don't like it."

Josh shrugged once again. "That's fine. A lot of people don't like it."

Again, they were quiet for a moment, but Tyler quickly broke it. "I have to tell you this now, or I'll never get it out."

"Okay," Josh said.

"It's...it's going to change your whole perception of me. You're going to think I'm a freak." Tyler's voice cracked and he hugged his stomach, a sickly green and orange feeling settling in his chest.

"Okay," Josh said.

That wasn't the reaction he wanted. He wanted him to tell him that nothing would make him think he was a freak, and that he'd stay with him no matter what. His reaction made him more nervous, and he wanted to curl up and hide in a hole.

"Two things," Tyler said, barely able to speak. "The first one's going to be the worst. The weirdest. The one that'll make you think I'm a freak."

"Okay," Josh said.

Tyler took a deep breath, but the words didn't come out and he had to try again. "I have two imaginary friends," he whispered, and Josh tilted his head like a puppy. "Clancy and Nico. They - they follow me everywhere and they won't leave me alone. And - and lately, they've been fighting each other and trying to hurt each other and - and they're scaring me and I don't know what to do."

He waited for Josh's reaction, but Josh never responded. He just waited for him to continue as silently as he had listened.

Tyler didn't want to continue. He didn't know how to respond to Josh's absent reaction. "That's why I went to Dr. Ann," he said softly. "That's why I have medication, because she said if we could control my anxiety and depression maybe they'd go away. But Nico said they're gonna stay here forever, and he's the one who made me...made me hurt - hurt myself and I'm scared it'll get worse. I don't know what to do, Josh. And I'm afraid that...that you're..."

"You think I'm not real."

The accusation in Josh's voice twisted a dull knife into Tyler's heart. "No," he said quickly, but he could see the hurt written plainly in Josh's coffee eyes. "No, I just -"

"What's the other thing you wanted to tell me?"

Tyler's face flushed red as tears filled his eyes. "I - I can't - I can't - I mean -"

"Spit it out already."

Tyler had never heard him like this, and it tore at his heart like a wild animal, blood dripping from its jaws. He wanted Josh to hug him and hold his hand and tell him everything would be okay, but he knew that would never happen. He was losing his best friend. "Um...something - something happened in the forest a - a long time ago." He swallowed hard, starting to cry. "There...there was someone following me. A - a man with a - a rope and a b-b-bag, and..."

Again, Josh didn't say anything. He just watched him, his expression unreadable.

Tyler dropped his eyes down and counted red cars. "I ran and ran until - until I - I - I tripped and fell and he pinned me and - and he -" Tyler let out a sob and buried his face in his hands. "Any-anyway, I've been having really t-t-terrible nightmares ever since you t-took me back, and -" Tyler didn't know what else to say. He dug his fingers into his hair and wished he hadn't said anything, but it was too late.

"I did that?" Josh said, his voice low.

"No, no, I just..." Tyler cringed, feeling like a mouse a second before the trap sprung and killed him. And so, so orange. "You didn't - it's not your fault, I just thought - thought you should -"

"Dad was right," Josh said, and in that moment, Tyler knew his friend had compeltely given up.

"Wh-what?"

Josh's eyes hardened, though they glistened with tears. "Dad never misses an opportunity to tell me how worthless I am. He always says that all I ever do is hurt people. I hurt Mom by smoking. I hurt my sisters by always running off instead of protecting them. I hurt Jordan because I couldn't convince him to stay. I guess I hurt you, too, by taking you to the forest. And I hurt Dad because I'm a failure at everything I do. I made the mistake of telling him about you and he said that you wouldn't stay longer than a month. Guess he was right."

Tyler blinked and stared at him, his mouth hanging open just slightly. "You know I'd never leave you."

"No, I don't know," Josh said, narrowing his eyes at the street below. "I always come to you. You've never come to me."

"I trusted you enough to come here with you," Tyler said, desperately wishing he'd look at him and see the sincerity in his eyes. He didn't need Nico or Clancy to tell him he'd seriously messed up. He didn't need them to tell him he was a failure and probably the worst friend on the planet. He knew that already. He could barely stand to hear himself speak, and he hated himself more with every word he said. "Josh, please, I can't do this alone. I need you. I need you like you need me. Just...please try -"

"I'm so sick of trying," Josh snapped. "I'm tired of trying my whole life and getting nothing back. I shouldn't've brought you. I knew this would happen. I knew you'd freak out."

"I'm sorry," Tyler cried, burying his face in his hands. "I'm so sorry. I'm trying."

"I knew there was something about you when I first met you," Josh said. "I liked it at first. I liked it a lot. I thought you were like me. But you're not. You only stick around because you feel bad for me. I'm a pity case."

"You're not -"

"Just...stop talking. You've said enough." Josh's hands clenched into tight fists, and a few tears rolled down his face. He'd dropped his cigarette on the roof and didn't seem to notice as it slowly went out. "Why'd you even say half that stuff?"

"Because I trust you!" Tyler blurted. "I trusted you enough to run five hours away from home and the only person who's ever loved me because I love you so much that it hurts because it's obvious you don't love me back. I would die for you, Josh. No, I'd live for you. That's harder to do. And I'll tell you right now that I've thought about killing myself every day for the past three months, but I haven't because I couldn't do that to you. Don't you get it? I told you that stuff because I trusted you. I trusted you with my life. You deserved to know what's going on and why I'm like this." Tyler paused and stood up, orange and red and black and sickly blue green burning through his entire body. Tears streamed down his face, but he managed to keep his voice steady. "But I guess I was wrong. You're just like everyone else. Why'd you drag me out here if you were just gonna drop me the second something went wrong?"

"Because I didn't expect you to accuse me of ruining your life!" Josh shouted, finally facing him. He was still crying, but his eyes were diamonds. Hard. Cold. Beautiful.

And that was the breaking point.

Tyler flinched violently away from him, and Josh's frigid coffee eyes melted to panic. After only a split second of silence, Tyler turned to leave.

"I - I'm sorry," Josh stuttered. "I - I didn't mean it to - please don't go. I - I - I -"

"Guess your dad was right about me," Tyler said, his voice quiet.