thirty four - stay with me

On Tuesday afternoon, a storm picked up, bringing wind and snow. Clancy still wouldn't tell him what happened the night before, and Tyler was once again too tired to do anything.

The wind was especially violent that night. Tyler lay awake in his bed, staring at the ceiling, and tried not to move. The cuts on stomach still stung and itched, and he didn't want to make them worse.

"I don't like the wind," Clancy mumbled to himself. "It's like a scary movie. When the lightning strikes, you'll see a shadow and then you'll be murdered."

"We're not going to be murdered," Tyler grumbled, turning on to his side and cringing in pain.

Just then, something hit the window with a bang. Instantly, they all froze.

"You were saying?" Nico said.

"It was just the tree in the wind," Tyler insisted. "Nothing's -"

The bang on the window came again, harder this time, and his heart nearly stopped. He suddenly couldn't breathe, and the only logical thought in his mind was that the man from the forest had finally found him. He was finally going to take him and finish what he started. All Tyler could picture was Nico kissing Clancy against his will, and he suppressed a shudder. He stayed frozen in his bed, shaking as much as the storm outside. The knock came again, and he almost screamed, slamming his hand over his mouth just in time.

"Who is it?" Nico called, looking out.

"Are you trying to get us killed?" Clancy hissed.

"What else would I be doing?"

"Who is it?" Tyler asked softly.

"I don't know. You'll have to come look."

After only a second, curiosity got the best of him, and he slowly climbed to his feet, his stomach stinging. He joined Nico by the window and looked out, and to his surprise, he was met was terrified coffee eyes and cotton candy hair covered in snow. His eyes widened and he quickly opened the window, ignoring the snow that billowed inside. "Josh!" he called. "What - what are you doing here?"

"Remember when you said you owed me one?" Josh said, his voice shaking. Tyler noticed now that his nose was bleeding, though he tried to hide it with the sleeve of his jacket. He gave him a strained smile, like broccoli.

"You - you need -" Tyler shook his head quickly. "Just a second." He ran to the door and poked his head out into the hallway. The light in his parents' room was on, but the lights were off downstairs. If they were quiet, he could sneak Josh up to his room. He went back to the window and called down to his friend. "Come around the front. My parents are going to bed, so they won't see you."

Josh nodded and ran around the house. Tyler noticed that he was limping.

"You can't do this," Clancy whispered. "What if they find him in your room and - and - what if they think you did - did - you know?"

"Had sex?" Nico said in a monotone.

Clancy blushed furiously, and Tyler glared at them. "We're not going to do anything," he grumbled. "He needs my help. I can't just let him stay out there alone. Besides, I owe him one."

He closed his window and ran down to open the front door to reveal a soaking wet and very scared Josh. "Thank you," he whispered, stumbling into the house. He still had his sleeve up against his nose, and his other arm hugged his waist protectively.

"Come up to the bathroom and we'll get you cleaned up," Tyler said, and Josh just nodded, his eyes hollow and exhausted.

Tyler led him to the bathroom upstairs and shut the door behind them so that no one would see them. He helped Josh rip a wad of toilet paper and press it against his nose to stop the bleeding. His mouth and chin were smeared with blood, and his sleeve was soaked in it. It was bright scarlet against his pale skin. Tyler began to notice other scrapes and bruises and pale pink scars across his face, and his stomach turned cold.

"What happened?" he whispered.

"Dad...kicked me out, I guess," Josh mumbled, his voice shaking and nasally from the paper he had pressed against his nose.

"He can't do that," Tyler protested.

"Try telling him that."

"Do you want some ice?"

"Yes, please."

Tyler left the bathroom and crept downstairs in the dark, turning on the kitchen light once he reached it. He found an ice pack and a towel, and started back upstairs.

"Seriously," Clancy whispered. "This is going to get you in so much trouble."

Tyler ignored him and reached for the bathroom doorknob, but hesitated as he heard crying from inside. He opened the door slowly and saw Josh huddled on the floor by the toilet, his knees to his chest and his face in his arms, crying quietly into his jacket sleeves. He looked up as Tyler came in, and dropped his eyes to the floor. "Pathetic, isn't it?" he muttered. "Here I am crying in someone else's bathroom when all I've ever wanted to do was leave anyway."

"I don't think it's pathetic," Tyler said, handing him the ice pack and watching him cringe as he held it against his nose and eye. "If it was me, I'd probably end up crying on a street corner somewhere."

Josh tried to smile, but it didn't quite come out. "Can I...stay here tonight?"

Tyler frowned, a little taken aback. "Of course. That's why I let you in."

"You just never know," Josh mumbled.

"Come into my room. You can sleep on the bed." Tyler led him out of the bathroom and to the hall closet, and Josh rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably.

"It's okay. You don't need to do that."

"No, I insist. I don't sleep well, anyway. It's fine, I promise." Tyler grabbed a bundle of blankets from the closet and dumped them on his floor, ignoring his imaginary friends' stares as best he could.

"Oh," Josh said, shifting his weight nervously in the doorway.

"Do you want some dry clothes?" Tyler asked.

"No, it's fine," Josh said instinctively, but Tyler shot him a look, and even in the dark, he could see him smile a little. "Actually, that would be great. Thank you."

Tyler dug a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt out of his dresser and handed them to him. "You can even have a pair of underwear if you want."

"I'm definitely okay on that one," Josh said, and Tyler snorted.

"Don't blame you. You can change now. I won't look."

"Thanks."

Tyler spread the blankets out on the floor while Josh changed, and when he turned around again, Josh was folding up his wet clothes in a neat pile by the closet. Tyler remembered his beanie on the window sill, and handed it to him with a smile. "This is yours. I found it in the forest."

"Oh," Josh said in surprise. "Thanks."

"You ready for bed?"

"What, are you going to sing me to sleep or something?" Josh joked.

"If you want," Tyler said, shrugging.

"Then yes, I'm ready." Josh paused by the bed, and then hesitantly pulled the covers back, glancing at Tyler as if for permission again.

"It's okay," Tyler said.

Josh climbed into Tyler's bed, and Tyler laid down on his makeshift bed on the floor. His cuts were stinging again, and he cringed as he sighed softly. What would his mother do if she found them? Would she understand, or would she get mad and leave no time for him to explain? And what was Josh going to do? He couldn't stay here forever, but from the sound of his voice, Tyler didn't think he could go home, either.

"Tyler?" Josh said softly.

"Yeah?"

"I'm scared."

"Of what?"

"That he'll find me here and hurt you, too."

Tyler stood up and walked to the foot of the bed. "Can I come up? If that's alright with you?"

"Please."

He could hear Clancy practically hyperventilating in the corner, but he did his best to ignore him as he climbed into the bed between Josh and the wall. Josh's coffee eyes were almost glowing in the dark, wide and terrified. He was still shivering violently.

"Do you really want me to sing to you? Because I will if you want," Tyler said.

Josh just smiled slightly, the same sad sort of smile he'd given him in the treehouse when Tyler had promised to stay alive for him. The cuts on his stomach suddenly ached with something like heartbreak.

"I'm sorry I haven't been around," Josh said quietly. "And I'm sorry I made you run away from me. I didn't mean it like that. I was just scared."

"I was scared, too," Tyler whispered. "I was scared that I'd hurt you."

"Oh, no, you didn't hurt me," Josh said quickly, and Tyler breathed a sigh of relief. "I just...it was a hard week. It's been a really bad couple of weeks, actually." Josh's voice grew even quieter, and Tyler could barely hear him. "My parents finally got a divorce. I knew it was coming. I've known for a long time, and actually...actually, I was kind of glad. I thought I could finally get away from him, but..." He started to cry again, his whole body shaking like the tree outside his window. "She didn't want me, either," he whispered. "Or at least she didn't fight for me. She got my sisters, and he got me. That was the custody agreement. And she fought for my sisters. She fought for them so hard, but she didn't...she just let him take me. Like splitting a paycheck."

"Josh, I'm so sorry," Tyler whispered.

"See, he's the kind of kid who needs meds," Nico said. "Not you. Your life is relatively easy."

"And now they're moving," Josh said, his voice cracking. "They're moving hours away from here and leaving me with no one to turn to but you, and you said your mom won't let you out of the house, and...and...oh, no..." Josh's breathing grew ragged and frantic, and he couldn't stop crying. He sounded just like Tyler had earlier, when he'd called Dr. Ann. "I - I'm sorry - I can't - I can't -"

"This is going to sound silly, but do it with me, okay?" he said softly. "Tell me one thing you can taste."

"I - I can't -" Josh covered his face with his hands and curled up tighter, muffling his sobs in his arms. "I can't - can't stop..."

"It's okay. Just try."

"B-blood," Josh whimpered. "I can taste blood."

"Two things you can smell."

"Sweat. And - and you. I can smell you. You smell like Tyler, like someone familiar, like...like my best friend."

Tyler smiled to himself. "Three things you can hear."

"Your - your voice. Um - the wind. The heater, I think."

"Four things you can feel."

"You," he said, and Tyler felt him start to relax. "Your breath." He took Tyler's hands and held them up against his chest like a stuffed animal. His hands were clammy. "Your hands. Your warmth. Your kindness." He shifted closer to him and rested his forehead against his. "Thank you."

Quietly, Tyler began to sing, little nursery rhymes and hymns and made-up lyrics, and slowly, very slowly, he felt Josh fall asleep. The cigarette spearmint smell was stronger now, mixed with the slight scent of blood, but that part was easy to ignore. Josh's damp curls tickled Tyler's face and he smiled, closing his eyes and letting his voice trail off into a soft hum. He loved feeling Josh's warm breath on his face and feeling his shoulders rise and fall as he breathed.

Pretty soon, Josh was completely asleep. Tyler stayed up a while longer, relaxing in Josh's presence, and wishing it didn't have to be so devastating to be like this.

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