"I have to tell you about someone today."

Why did he say that? He didn't want to, not yet. He didn't know what he'd say. This was only his fourth visit. He didn't know if he trusted her enough to tell her about Josh.

"Your other friend?" Dr. Ann asked.

He shook his head and squeezed the green pillow tighter. "No, someone else. My friend, but he's not here right now."

"You better not say anything embarrassing," Nico muttered.

Tyler turned a little to show Dr. Ann that he wasn't talking to her. "I'll try not to."

The therapist's eyes flickered to the door, where Nico was standing. "Which one are you talking to?" she asked. "If you can tell me."

"The other one," he said. It was still weird to talk to his friends while other people were in the room, but it felt better with Dr. Ann, since she didn't treat him like a freak. He was learning to trust her, and trusting someone felt better than keeping everything contained.

"The one you can't tell me about yet."

"Yeah."

"Don't trust her," Nico muttered under his breath.

They fell into a stiff silence. Tyler never liked the silence here. It was an alarm, blaring in his ears constantly even though he couldn't hear anything.

"You were going to tell me about someone else?" Dr. Ann finally prompted.

"Oh." Tyler hugged the pillow closer and stared intently at a piece of carpet that stuck up above the others. "I have to tell you, I think. But I'm scared."

"Why are you scared?" She asked it in a way that sounded analytical - like she wasn't criticizing his fear, even though it sounded stupid when he said it out loud. She wanted to help him figure it out. He liked that.

"I don't know," he said.

"Is it because they threatened you?"

His eyes flickered to Nico. "No."

"They won't like you for telling me?"

"No. He gave me permission to talk to you about him, but I'm still scared."

"Are you scared of how I'll react?"

"Maybe. Or maybe it's because..." His voice trailed off as he thought hard. Analyzing his feelings was difficult. "Because I'm scared of reality."

"And why's that?"

Tyler dropped his voice to barely a whisper, fighting back tears. "I'm terrified he's not real."

Dr. Ann just blinked in surprise. "I think that's a very valid reason to be scared. You said you knew your two friends weren't real - one of them is Clancy, right? How did you figure it out?"

"I knew Clancy was imaginary the moment I created him," Tyler said softly. "I can't remember what it was like back then. I was four or five. I just remember talking to him for hours and I remember my parents' enthusiasm for a while, until they told me I was too old for imaginary friends."

He didn't like this. He didn't like telling her about his problem. He'd bottled it up for so long, he'd thought he might burst, but now that he had the chance to explain it, it got stuck in the neck and he was afraid.

"And Ni - the other one," he said quickly, catching himself before Nico could yell at him. "I thought he was a normal friend who talked to me at practice, but then I brought him home to introduce him to Mom and she...she..." His voice didn't come out. It stayed stuck in his throat. Thankfully, he didn't cry. He didn't want to embarrass himself in front of her. He looked up to where the closet was open just slightly, and saw a bag of suckers. "Can I have a sucker?" he asked suddenly, surprising himself.

She didn't look nearly as surprised as he was. "Sure," she said, standing up and pulling one out of the bag. "Is banana okay?"

"No," he said instantly. "I hate bananas."

She laughed like jingle bells. He couldn't decide if it was pleasant or annoying. "I'll try to remember that. Which ones do you like?"

"Do you have any blue ones?"

"How about cotton candy?"

"Sure," he said, suddenly reminded that he was about to talk about Josh. She handed the sucker to him very carefully, as if she was afraid of brushing hands. He didn't like contact, anyway, so he didn't mind. "Thanks."

"You're welcome."

She smiled as he unwrapped it and stuck it in his mouth, and he wondered if she knew it was an excuse not to talk right away. He thought quietly for a little bit, moving the sucker around in his mouth until he was sure his tongue and teeth were blue, and then he finally gathered the courage to speak. Clancy got up from off of the floor and sat next to him on the couch, almost as if he was trying to comfort him, but it did little to help. Instead, he almost felt more nervous.

"His name's Josh," he finally said. "And he's the nicest person I've ever met."

Why was it suddenly so hard to speak?

He swallowed hard and turned the sucker over in his mouth. "He's the only person to want to hang out with me in probably eight years. We met about a month ago when I was out playing basketball by myself, and at first it was really weird, but then he came back, and eventually we became really good friends. He's the only person who really understands me." Tyler paused, hating how cliché and ridiculous it all sounded. "He has the most beautiful goofy smile, but he doesn't smile very much. His voice sounds like cinnamon hot chocolate and the corners of his eyes crinkle like silver wrapping paper and I wish I could always make him smile because it makes me really happy."

Dr. Ann thought for a moment, tapping her pen on her chin. "He sounds like a very nice boy."

Tyler nodded vigorously. "Oh, he is. He's the nicest person who's ever talked to me. And when he doesn't understand, he doesn't look at me like a freak or get mad at me, he just asks if I can explain different and if I can't, then he just nods and we move on. And if I don't want to tell him something, I just tell him I don't want to and he doesn't push it like everyone else."

"I hope I don't force you into saying anything."

"You do," he said. "Just not as obviously as everyone else."

"I'm very sorry about that. Could you tell me when I push so that I can try not to?" she asked. 

Tyler blinked in surprise. No one had ever respected him like that. They always just denied they were doing anything wrong. "Sure."

"What makes you think he's not real?"

He picked at the fabric on the pillow, and glanced at Clancy. His friend shifted closer to him, and Nico muttered something snide under his breath. "He didn't want me to tell Mom and Dad about him." Tyler rolled the sucker over his tongue in between thoughts. "And both of the boys in here with me don't like it when I talk to my parents about them."

"That's because we're completely unnatural," Nico said. "We make you look like a freak."

"I think you're scared we'll get rid of you," Tyler said without thinking, and Nico made a face, a sort of sneering scowl, his eyes drilling into his soul. Tyler squirmed uncomfortably on the couch, a terrible mushy bean feeling settling in his chest.

"If you got rid of me, you wouldn't last a minute," Nico hissed. "What are you doing here? Trying to help yourself? That's what you tell yourself every time you walk in, but that's not why you're here. You're here because your parents think you're messed up. They think they can cure you when you're not really sick. They think this place is a machine. You shove something in, and it comes back all shiny and new and completely different than what you had before. Let me tell you something, Tyler." He spit his name out like it was the worst curse he could think of, like it was poison in his mouth, and Tyler hated it. He wished he could hide behind the couch like Clancy had. Nico's eyes were as hard as diamonds, and his neck and hands were pools of shadow. He suddenly seemed so much bigger as he loomed over the room. "She can't help you," he snapped, emphasizing each word and jabbing his finger at him. "Your parents are right. You're screwed up in the head. But you're too far gone and there's no way on earth this woman can fix you. You're a goner, Tyler. A lost cause. You're better off never coming back here before they realize you're hopeless. It's time you finally accepted that we are going to be here for the rest of your life, and when you do that, maybe things can go back to normal. Maybe you have a sliver of a chance at leading a normal life."

"Tyler?" Dr. Ann said quietly. Tyler barely heard her.

"You are nothing without me, and you know it." His voice was so cold, and Tyler squeezed his eyes shut and covered his ears. "You are a hollow shell of a person without me and it's time you finally figured that out. Are you even listening to me? Tyler, I am trying to save your life! Get your face out of that stupid pillow and listen to me!"

He was screaming now, screaming so loud that it penetrated his heart with sharp needles of ice, and he was so, so scared. He wanted to curl up with his arms over his head and disappear, but he was frozen in place, pinned by Nico's words. A few tears slipped silently down his face, and he couldn't even move to wipe them away.

"Please stop yelling," Clancy whispered from behind the couch.

"You shut up!" Nico pointed furiously at him. "What have you done to actually help him? It's your fault he had that migraine. It's your fault we agreed to come here. It's your fault he's so scared of the forest that he has nightmares every night. It's your fault he started talking like a freak. It's your fault he can't find the courage to tell Josh he's not real. And guess what Tyler? Let me say this real slow so maybe you can finally understand." He leaned in close until Tyler could feel his breath on his face. He prodded his chest with every word and Tyler shuddered. "Josh. Is. Not. Real."

How do you know? he wanted to demand, but he was starting to believe it. He knew it was pointless to argue with Nico, anyway. He always had the last word, and Tyler always felt more miserable afterward.

Nico just have seen something in his face, because he smirked and stepped back. "Now you're getting it. Maybe now you can get your head out of the clouds and face your reality. Learn to ignore him like you ignore us, and maybe he'll go away before it's permanent."

But I don't want him to go away. Josh was his best friend. He didn't have lingering feelings of anxiety or misery or emptiness that followed the other two around. He made him happy. How could that be bad?

"Tyler, are you alright?" Dr. Ann's voice sounded distorted, like he was listening to her from underwater. The room was blurry round the edges and another migraine surfaced behind his eyes and in his left temple.

"And even if your parents make you come back and if by some miracle it makes you get rid of Clancy over there..." Nico paused and chuckled slightly. "I'd be the happiest guy on the planet. Come on, Tyler. Let's get out of here."

Tyler didn't move. He could only sit there and stare at the wall by Nico's feet and cry pathetically. He heard Dr. Ann's honey cider voice, but he couldn't understand what she was saying.

Nico narrowed his eyes and wrinkled his nose. "I said, let's go."

Tyler stood up abruptly, his body working without him, and yanked open the door. Dr. Ann didn't say a word. She just watched him go.

His legs carried him to the lobby where his mother was waiting. Nico was close behind him, nearly stepping on his heels as he directed him. "It's time to go," his friend said.

His mother looked up from her magazine in surprise as he approached her. "Oh, you're done early." Her eyes flickered across his face in confusion and something almost like concern. "What happened?"

"Take me home," Tyler said, his voice shaking. The cotton candy sucker in his mouth seemed to choke him, so he pulled it out and threw it away as hard as he could. 

"Mrs. Joseph, I'd like to talk to you for a minute."

Dr. Ann's voice startled him and he jumped, whirling around. "You said you wouldn't tell her," he said, pointing a shaking finger in accusation.

"I promise I won't tell her what you've said," she assured. "Only what I've noticed."

"I don't want you to talk to her. I want to go home." He hated how everyone was staring at him. The three adults and two teenagers tried to hide it. The two younger kids stared at him with wide eyes. Like they were scared of him.

"We'll only be a minute," his mother said.

"I don't care. Take me home or I'll go myself."

His mother tightened her grip on her purse as if she expected him to steal it from her and take the keys. He didn't want to drive. If she wouldn't take him, he'd walk. She stood up and slowly approached him, like he was a wild animal. He certainly felt like one, trapped in a cage. He thought he could feel a heavy collar around his throat, weighing him down, keeping him chained to her.

"Just sit down for a minute," she said softly.

"No," he said. Now he could feel Nico's hands on his shoulders, his cold fingers digging into his skin. He backed up into the wall and scared himself, his heart racing out of control.

"If you don't want me to talk to her, we can do it another time," Dr. Ann said.

"Come on, Tyler." His mother reached her hand out and touched his shoulder slightly, her fingers brushing over his shirt.

"It's time to go," Nico whispered, his breath tickling his ear.

Tyler reacted instantly. He grabbed her wrist and threw her arm down. "Don't touch me." His voice was hard and broken, and she just blinked in surprise as he shoved past her and marched out the door, the cold wind stinging his face and his tears blurring his vision. He broke into a run, but only got to the end of the parking lot before he collapsed against the stop sign and sobbed into his arms.

Nico sat down next to him and he didn't even have the will to flinch away from him. "It's okay," he said. "You'll get over it soon and everything will be fine. I've been here for years, Tyler. Do you trust me?"

Tyler didn't even trust himself. Nico was right. He was always right. "Yes," he whispered.

"Good," Nico said with a smile. "Let's go home."