My hand burns as I flex my fingers, attempting to work out the dull ache the chill had left behind.

 Gingerly, I grab my wrist, holding my frostbitten hand to my body. My instructors would be disappointed that I'd regressed so far as to allow myself to be consumed by the ice; magical backlash was a rookie mistake. But, my body had never been in the best form, it took a lot of concentration to prevent my slim self from succumbing to power I was never meant to wield. 

My father had done a number on my genetics. Too bad the gods couldn't have made me taller. Perhaps then, I wouldn't constantly be reminded that I was inadequate, that my victory from school was ill-gotten. What a cruel roll of the dice; my brothers had been tall, relatively fit, and reasonably handsome.

 Of course, the smallest and the weakest would get the most potent wielding abilities. I can't help but smirk at the inner torment; it all seems redundant now. I was the one who lived, so I supposed that meant I'd earned this damned ability. 

 "I think you should make a statement," Haryek tells me gently.

  Why? 

But as my eyes travel around the room, I take in the scene that I'm who everyone is waiting for. I have cast their new leader aside, proven my innocence, and partially frozen him. 

They fear me; they fear what I will do next now that they've acted against me. A bit of me would prefer to leave them that way, lest one considered a second attempt at taking my life, which I may or may not welcome. A former self should be punished for thinking I could run an army, let alone exact revenge on the Elf Kingdom. 

"What do I say?" I hiss back, resisting the urge to back up.

The last time a hoard of lycans stared at me in this room, my parents were being slaughtered. 

I move only my eyes as if any sudden movement would trigger their instincts. It was starting over for all of us; they had just attempted to execute me. It would make sense that I would want to retaliate, and I'd be lying if I said the thought hadn't crossed my mind while I was tied to that damned chair. 

It would be easy to imagine a display of force would send the majority of them on the run; without a solid leader, they were poor ex-slaves with nowhere to go and little hope for a better life in my city. If I didn't rally them- if we just left them to their devices, they would leave, and this would be over and done. 

For now.

 I wanted to rest, to grieve. 

"Well, if you have a plan, now is the time to say it." His tone is softer, and he understands the underlying pain in my expression. 

Haryek had seen firsthand what Alpha had been willing to do for me, and this unexplainable connection between us set my world on fire and changed my opinion on everything I'd been raised to believe. Going back to the old ways might have been the easier option; resetting to my default was a norm I had known my entire life. 

Could I continue to be this person without him spurring me on?

A plan? I suppose that would be a good idea. 

The silence is deafening. 

As I tilt my chin up, I see their faces reflecting my grief. In the mix of their fear of me and their disgust for their elder, they mourned the loss of their leader. In that I found my place among them, I could not damn or fault anyone who loved that man. He was an egotistical prick, but he was brilliant, clever, witty, and most of all, he had changed me for the better. 

I would never be the same. I owed it to him to honor that change.

Swallowing, I allowed myself to access my humanity. 

Pain could build that bond—the pain of loss.

 "I am not your enemy; we are not your enemy." I gesture to Haryek, Loan, and myself. "The time for racism and division must come to an end. We have little time to prepare or come to terms with what we might—or must—face.

 Taryek is coming. We are outnumbered. We have lost precious members." 

I see Haryek pinch the bridge of his nose in disappointment. Honesty had never been my strong suit; my brothers often told me I wasn't human and that I had no ability to connect with people. I spent so much time watching them while avoiding them because I felt alien compared to them.

When tact and grace were needed, they seemed to allude me, and I never managed to say the right thing. I've never been good at speeches; I don't even think I've ever given one in an absolute sense. Training for these moments had been minimal, for I was not bred to sit on the throne, I was not born to hold any position, and yet here I stood, the only survivor. 

"We have gained strength in our alliances. Alone, the lycan army has proved to be a sizeable force. One that so fearlessly charges into battle, but with solidarity comes casualties. You do not have to do this alone. You do not have to suffer alone. You do not have to endure alone."

 I needed to take my advice, rubbing my arms as I folded them over my chest. I felt painfully overfaced compared to the mass of men surrounding me. Short and slim, swallowed by the white robes adorned over my olive-skinned frame, I wasn't the picture of someone who could lead a nation- let alone an army. 

Why would any of these men follow me? 

"We want to help you, and I want to help you with an alliance your Alpha believed in when he sent your brothers to join Loan's people. Do not let tricks and deception cloud your judgment of what we have started here. Alone, we might fall. But together, we can not fail." 

Pulled from the ashes, the lycan hoard stands at attention in one precise motion, fists hitting broad chests in a salute of allegiance. Lycans are not one for words, and I'm grateful for that. I can hardly breathe from the overwhelming anxiety. What I'm feeling might be the urge to faint or swell with pride. I wasn't exactly familiar with how the process of emotions was supposed to unfold.

"Rough." Haryek teases; I clutch his arm to support myself.

"Shut up," I grumble. "I didn't have time to practice. I was supposed to be executed, remember?"

"You did fine." Adriam squeezes my shoulder. 

Loan shrugs. "Yeah, yeah, I have the goosebumps. Nicolas finally stood up for something. Yay. Now, show me your hand, you idiot." He holds out his frostbitten hand, and I frown at him. 

"Did I do that?" A past self would have been pleased to have inflicted damage on the cocky Solomonari. But, now that Loan had somewhat redeemed himself, injuring him seemed like a poor look for the image I was trying to create.

"No, I stuck my hand in an icebox because I felt left out. Yes. You did. You've got to get this under control. Have you forgotten everything the Solomonari taught you?"  He snatches my hand and turns it over, examining it. "You've got to put up a barrier when you do shit like this, or it's going to keep burning you. What if I'm not here to fix it?" 

 He looks concerned, which takes me by surprise; I've never thought of Loan as someone who would care for my safety. The energy flows through him and into my burning hand. I cringe as the burn intensifies but then starts to ebb, finally vanishing with the blackened skin. 

How must it seer his jealous heart to know his body had chosen to heal over the raw talent I exuded? 

In a fair world, with Loan's substance and knowledge, he would have taken my place as the prince, and I would have quickly fallen into line as a healer. 

But he'd been born to a poor farm, and I'd been blessed with royal blood. Every glance toward me oozed resentment. I tried half as hard and surpassed his raw ability with leaps and bounds. The world, indeed, was a cruel place.

I sent the energy back and healed his hand in return. We shared a silent alliance, acceptance of each other, and the realization that we didn't have to like each other to be on the same team. It seemed to disappoint him that, on top of elemental magic, I could also heal on some level. 

"All hail the damned Prince." Loan murmurs, shaking his head in disbelief. "You better work your ass off, Nicolas. This isn't school; there's no way to fornicate your way out of this one."

 He sighs in relief and flexes his fingers, rubbing his palm with his other hand. 

"Good on you for remembering that you can freeze bodies instead of turning him into a human pin cushion with his blood." He arches a brow at me as I frown. 

"I never liked that part of the training." Killing people hasn't been my thing, let alone learning how to do it. I hardly liked to consume animals, though I did fancy the odd lamb.

"Wait till someone gives you a reason to appreciate that training..." He mumbles, causing a shiver to run down my spine. 

Adriam excuses the pack and guides us into the dining hall, sending Frost to get everyone started on their formations and evening commands. With the imminent threat, we can't afford any holes, and I appreciate that they didn't expect me to step straight into figuring out how any of the pack worked. I'd walked along with Alpha on many 'changing of guard' routines, but nothing could come close to managing an entire army.

 Victor returns, looking amused. His eyes fall on me. 

"Probably should heal arm... Listening to him complain for next hundred years isn't on agenda." 

I roll my eyes and cross my arms over my chest. 

"Let him suffer a little while longer. I'll heal him but want him to feel like I won't." It feels good to have some control, to hold the power, when he'd taken so much from me. 

"As much as I've enjoyed watching Nicolas become a man, we must figure out what we will do about my father. Your speech sucked but it was correct, we are outnumbered. Alpha was talking with a man in the rebellion about a long bow, but getting people skilled at something like that takes time. Our armory is minimal at best, and we have little weapons. I assume the pack will be disorganized without their fearless leader?" 

Haryek pulls us all back into our current period, we were on the brink of war, and there was no time to slow down.

 I frown as he speaks, running a hand through my hair. "We need a new Alpha. A real Alpha." 

"Well, we don't have one. The bloodline is gone; you can't just pick someone and expect them to lead. It's a birthright." Adriam leans back, using Victor to support himself. He looks exhausted, and I don't blame him. I'm unsure how I'm still standing; my body feels like it's made of solid marble. "I know what Verando was planning, but as far as execution goes, we're going through the motions." 

Victor leans over to glance at Adriam's face. "There is one left." He smirks. The notion truly disgusts the French man, who wrinkles his nose as if the vile thought holds a potent stench. 

"Not. That. One." He spits through his teeth. 

"That one is all that has been left," Victor responds, grinning in a manner that sings of victory for Adriam, who already held the look of one who'd conceded. There was no arguing with the Russian. 

Loan scoffs at the cryptic nature of the conversation. "We don't have time to be picky!" He snaps. "Drop your damn prejudice. Who?" 

Adriam glares. "Tonic." The word holds a foul taste as he practically spits out his tongue with its utterance. 

A bubble of disbelieving laughter leaves my lips; what a sick time for a joke.

Haryek chuckles. "If we have a pack of bunnies, he would be instrumental. In case you haven't noticed, most men are missing pieces because their friends have ripped them off. Tonic isn't what comes to mind regarding leading a lycan horde. I was thinking 'Big Stuff' behind you." He waggles his eyebrows, admiring the size and substance of the mountain of a man. 

"Being leader is boring." 

Adriam grabs Victor's hand. "And I would murder him myself. I paid too much for him, and I'm too selfish." Victor allows an endearing look as Adriam pats his chest in acceptance of the terms; he would side with the Russian. "Tonic is the only one left of the bloodline we have access to."

"What is he, Alpha's long-lost scrawny cousin? I've always thought they looked alike?" Loan muses. I can't help but agree, for I'd thought the same thing when I first met the more petite man. 

In my monologue, I'd often called him Alpha's mini-me.

"Hmmm. Not exactly." Adriam considers his words carefully, and I raise an eyebrow in surprise at the hesitation.

Haryek chuckles, rubbing his hands together as a proper villain would. "Oh." he chuckles. "Verando was a lady's man."  

I try to keep my face from contorting. I knew he had only been with women before me, yet I found it hard to believe that he had a child. 

Picturing Alpha as a father was one of the last things I'd allowed myself. Children weren't on the table for someone like me. I had no way to conceive them, and staying away from the notion that the man was old enough to be my sire was a top priority. 

Adriam shrugs, dismissive of the shock value. "He had a wild streak that lent itself to a trail of broken hearts. Tonic results from that and is more than capable if he gets out of his way. Legardo would be the optimal choice, but considering that he hates his father almost as much as his mother does, and he isn't here, we're left with Tonic."

  If. I feel like it's a lot to ask of someone who has never asked for a leadership role. Ignoring that there was a second name, another child I hadn't known about, I focused on the task at hand.

"He'll die." My voice sounds small, silencing those around me with the reality we'd all been dismissing. They might be willing to risk him, but I was not willing to lose one more companion needlessly.

The honey-haired Frenchman hesitates. "Perhaps." He practically reads my mind, watching me knowingly, for he had had these same fears on a much deeper scale. "He will have help."

"You do, too, you know. I know it hasn't seemed like it, but we've left you at the mercy of your situation. We are here to help you now. I'm sorry we've taken so long to come to your aid." 

There was a time when I might have been upset with Loan. If he'd come just a week prior, I would have had some choice words for him, for I had truly felt abandoned by our supporting cities when my parents fell.

 But then I think about Alpha. Could anyone else have convinced him to spare the rebellion, let alone form an alliance? I might not be winning the battles, but for the long-term peace of our nations, I seem to be doing okay. 

When it came to it, I was where I needed to be. Fate had put me here for a reason, and it was up to me to do what I needed to see it through. 

"We need more time." I blurt out, ignoring the shocked expressions of my sudden call to action. "If Tonic is our only option, we need more time. We need to build armor, we need to train, we need to prepare. We have to buy some time."

"Well, let's just get some then. Surely everything has a price, and I have some spending money with me." Haryek waves a hand in frustration, earning himself a half-hearted smirk. 

I needed a distraction, something to keep me busy. I could do this. "Thanks for volunteering. You and I need to pay a visit to your father."