We face two options as I feel my body preparing for what's to come. With my small amount of close contact training, my most lethal options were my best chance, and that wouldn't bode well for the men we were against. I'd killed enough for one lifetime. 

It wasn't an option to leave this small group intact. We must give them a good reason to disband, considering that I had seen firsthand what a spark could do when faced with the fear of change. The people here are angry, scared, and confused about what is happening. 

I know my speech was supposed to unite them, yet I couldn't help but empathize with the residents of this city. I glance at Penelope, who looks ready to burn the city to the ground. "We need to go with them," I mutter. "If nothing else, we can fight more effectively off the streets."

She sets her jaw, not taking her eyes off our aggressors. "They aren't taking us to a park, Nic. If we go with them, it won't be a good place. Men like this intend to kill us, to kill you. As the person who's convinced you to come out, it's my job to advise you on how idiotic that sounds."

"We can't leave this energy here. We need the people's support." I take a step and feel someone grab me from behind. I build pressure in my hands in preparation to fight, yet the softness of the grip causes me to glance over my shoulder.

Marcus winks with a one-sided smile. "There you are.." 

"Right.." I mumble, attempting not to look so shocked.

"Thanks for finding these two for me, boys. I've been looking for them all over. We have a big meeting to get back to." He smiled a charming smile, dimpling his cheeks. With fearful glances back and forth, it was clear a lycan wasn't what they were hoping to confront.

"Oh, great. They brought a guard dog," The elf grumbles, the wind out of his sails. 

Marcus was a wild card. I had played directly into their hands. I was a peaceful entity. They knew I would go with them, and I bowed to their will. Disappointed in myself, I shrug Marcus's hand off my shoulder. I didn't need his smug expression reminding me.

"Come to the Citadel tonight, and we can discuss this further. We are not the enemy; I don't wish to leave you thinking we are only here to destroy your way of life. We truly are here to help." I attempt, hoping to salvage this situation.

One of the men scowls. "We didn't need help until you showed up. You are taking our slaves away! Now we're going to need help, and who pays for that?! The only ones that this 'plan' supports are the poor." 

The corner of my mouth pulls down; while I might have been willing to negotiate, the lack of humanity on the lycans was enough to burn me to the core. "One man's freedom is not worth your convenience." I struggle to control my tone as I lock eyes with the elf.

"We are forming a new way of life. If you wish to be a part of it, I suggest you and your peers make true attempts to come forward as a polite society and discuss your needs. If not, then shut your mouth and don't bring this up again." I lower my brows, and after a long pause, the men nod. 

It's agreed that we will meet before we leave for Brasov.

"Woah Nic... Look who grew some balls!" Penelope sounds excited as we make our way back to the Citadel, and I sigh, glancing at her with a look of disappointment. 

"That's not how I wanted to handle that." 

Marcus scoffs. "M'lord, I don't think there was any other way to handle it. Not everyone can be so easily persuaded. In the future, please don't go off with strangers. Didn't your parents teach you that?"

 Penelope tenses and I flip my hand at her dismissively, I'm done crying over my dead parents.

"The school taught me trust given is trust earned." 

"Then they've never been in the real world; you would have probably been ambushed. Would you have survived? Probably. But killing more of them isn't going to fix their hatred of you." Marcus eyes me curiously, gauging my response.

 I stop and glare at him. Who asked him?! Who appointed him my advisor? I feel my annoyance boiling, and then I stop. Oh my god. I'm turning into Alpha, and Marcus is me. In disbelief, I chuckle and find that I can't stop. It turns into full-blown laughter, making my companions look at each other like I've finally lost it.

  Well, I probably have. 

"I needed that.. Come on, Penelope, I need a haircut."

I ponder over my situation as I watch the locks of my hair tumble to the cool marble floor. I ask one of the passing guards to summon Frost and Tonic, feeling conflicted now that my sanity has returned. 

The shopping trip was foolish. This is an active war zone, and I'm traveling around the town like a tourist. Annoyed with myself, I can see Alpha's disapproving look. My cheeks redden at the thought of what sort of punishment I would have earned. 

His hands pulled my clothes from my body in this vision, making my face grow hot. 

My heart quickens as I think of his lips on my neck, his teeth grazing the skin as I tangle my fingers in his hair. I blink rapidly at the giggle I hear from Penelope and release my lip from my teeth. "Do I need to know something? Is a haircut a thing for you?" She gestures to my state of stupor, thinking about my lycan warlord. 

"I um.. I was lost in thought." 

"Obviously. Must have been a damn good thought, I haven't seen you like that before." 

"Like what?" I tense. 

She gives me a knowing look. 

"It's been a while, Pen. I was thinking about.."  I don't know if I should delve into what Alpha and I had or reveal my kinks with all their odd tendencies.

 How does one reveal such a thing? I was thinking about being punished for being foolish and how I'd enjoy that. I imagined what it'd feel like, how he'd celebrate by having me any way he wanted. I'd be at his mercy, and he'd take my pleasure for his own.

 There's been a lack of release; I almost miss the consequences because they weren't so bad. I missed feeling challenged, the feeling of him gazing at me with the intention of bending me to his will, and the anticipation of knowing I'd be punished. 

Well, most of the time. I feel disgusting for even thinking about something like that at a time like this, though I suppose it's always been the way I hid from the trauma of my past. "Sex is how I cope." I allow.

 It feels good to say it out loud. "It's not been an option for me; it's just what I run to when I am stressed or have to make hard decisions. It's just strange having to deal with things like a normal person."

She cuts quietly for a moment, and I feel ashamed, fighting the urge to shrink away from the judgment I know will follow the silence. "If that's how you deal, then it is normal. I mean, lycans do have their moments. I can see the appeal." 

My summoned patrons enter the room, ending this conversation, much to my relief.

I fill them in on the happenings of our visit to the town, careful not to exclude our shopping trip and lunch stop.

 Frost pinches the bridge of his nose, and Tonic looks like he wishes he'd been able to come along. He holds that same exhausted look I remember seeing on my warlord's face. His dark eyes are clouded with stress, and he looks like he really could use a good night's sleep.

 Sometimes, it's easy to forget my best friend has been abandoned by me for a life he didn't ask for. But what can I do? He's running a pack, and I can't occupy his free time the way I did the man who came before him. I suppose he needs me to be a friend; it all just feels so different now.

 I make a mental note to spend more time with him that doesn't involve plotting the destruction of a race. 

"So." Frost puts on his patient face. "Do you feel like that was a good way to spend your time? How's your magic coming along? Have you been practicing?" 

 "I'm much stronger." I defend myself firmly. While I admit the foolishness of my actions, my mental health benefitted, and we were all lacking that strength lately. We were running on empty in terms of morale.

"And the rebellion soldiers? Who is in charge of them?" 

I think for a moment. "I suppose I am." 

Frost waits for me, then resumes, letting me sink into my words. "So arranging them around would be smart if you're concerned about an uprising. We can't be friends with these people, Your Highness, and you have a bodyguard, so where was he?"

So I was no longer Nicolas. I'd become a lord overnight to Frost as well.

"We ditched him." Penelope winks.

"Keep your bodyguard," Frost growls. 

Tonic crosses his arms over his chest, looking flustered. "I know none of us asked for this, but I think we all need to put in more effort to make this next move happen. We have two days before we have to leave for Brasov. Have you checked on the hospital today? Have you checked in with the healers?"

"I made a speech!" I try to keep my tone level. What do they want from me?

"A leader's job is to lead all hours of the day. Nic, you're supposed to be helping me with this, and I never see you. I want to think it's because you're training, but now you're telling me you wasted a whole day?" Tonic's face falls; he seems more hurt than anything else. 

No one else gets a break; what makes me exempt? I can see his side, yet I struggle to give up my choice of recreation. I had the most to lose here; could I not have a moment to myself?

"I'm doing everything I can, Tonic. I can see now that this wasn't the best idea, but now we have a bigger problem that we would not have discovered if I hadn't taken my stroll. How do we deal with the uprising?"

Frost shrugs dismissively. "I don't think it matters how we deal with them; there will be loyalists to the elf kingdom. We have to make them think that our deal is optimal. You're going to be running this place when we leave. I think that's something you and your rebellion leaders need to figure out."

 Tonic nods in agreement. In other words, this was only my problem and did not involve their cause.

 I want to be frustrated but I suppose it's only fair, their deal isn't with the lycans. The lycans won't be staying, I remind myself; it will be up to me to keep the peace when I take over Dezna.  

"Well, I appreciate the advice." I stand and remove the towel from my shoulders. I feel much lighter now that I'm not sporting near-shoulder-length hair. "I suppose I've got work to do for tonight." I bid them both a good rest of their day and leave promptly, trying not to let on how their criticism wounded me. 

I'm grateful Penelope doesn't follow.

 Marcus is waiting for me outside the Citadel, and I ignore him as I march towards the hospital. He is good at reading the room because he's silent as I attend to the healers and find them overworked and exhausted.

 I relieve some and assign others to patients. The construction of the hospital seems to be going well. Structural beams are grafted and set to provide true structure to a building that could remain here. Walls and room plans slowly carve themselves out of the tarps and meager supports.

 I advise the healers to go to the town and find locals who want to learn. When we move out, there will be work here. The elves will need attending after we are gone, and we can't afford to leave our own behind. 

I apologetically wave off our rebellious friends as they head to the Citadel to eat and, I assume, pass out from exhaustion. I'm impressed by their abilities to mend the wounded here. I glance at the elves and think about our time in the clearing; how the one man reminded me so much of Haryek. I don't speak to them, and they don't talk to me; now isn't the time to change that.

My job is to ensure that they are tended to and that they have food and water, not that they're happy with their lot in life. Morale is shaky as I walk through their ranks, everyone looks exhausted and at a loss. I expect sarcastic remarks from Marcus but he says nothing. I find the only person who seems like he's in charge, an elf that I recognize from Haryek's company.

 "How are things going?" I ask.

"We're tired, but wounds are doing well, and rations are strong. It's just cold out here at night." I hadn't considered the cold on our softer soldiers; it must be a difficult transition. Glancing up at the approaching cloud cover, I pursed my lips.

"Why don't you come into the Citadel?" I offer. Surely we could make do with one of the grand halls?

"There is not enough room for the lycans and us?" He responds, raising a brow. It shocks me that they even care if the lycans are treated equally. Little do they know, the creatures would rather be outside. I had the same struggle when they lived in my courtyard.

"Lycan's wouldn't want to be inside anyways."

 He looked at Marcus, and my Spanish friend shrugged dismissively. He seemed to appreciate the human comforts, but most did not.

"Your fires are probably spooking any animals that might be left in the woods; lycans hunt at night; it might be nice for you to go inside?" He suggests, attempting to look welcoming to the more petite man.

"Lycans are happiest in the woods; some come inside, but there is plenty of room. Please, gather everyone up and assign some people to prepare sleeping arrangements. We only have two more days and everyone needs to be well-rested. Please, assign some help and get some rest, report back to me with who you've chosen."

 He blinks at me, looking like he is unsure whether he should be grateful for this promotion or not, but he nods and jogs off. 

"You forgot to tell him about the dinner tonight." Marcus reminds me; I curse and pinch the bridge of my nose. The man was dead on his feet, and now I'd have to track him down again.