thirteen; I'M NOT SURE I WANT TO

"This is Raven Reyes calling Ark Station."

Thunder rumbled overhead and Reese flinched at the loud sound as she fiddled with the dials on the radio, her leg bouncing up and down as she worked. Her irritation was growing more and more as each second passed, due to just how many teenagers were crowding her workspace as the ground level of the dropship was packed with teenagers who were all trying to get out of the rain.

"We fixed it, but there's no way to know if it will work until we receive an answer," Reese had told Clarke who had been pacing at the time, her eyes not moving for where they had placed Finn, the knife still lodged in his side.

"Come in, Ark Station." Raven repeated in frustration, "This is Raven Reyes calling Ark Station. Please come in."

"Can anyone hear me?" Reese asked, tapping her own headset and groaning in annoyance when she received nothing but static as a response.

"Are you guys sure you have the right frequency?" Monroe asked them softly, not wanting to anger the two women.

"Yeah, I'm sure." Raven snapped at her and Reese shot the younger girl an apologetic look.

"Raven, you can do this, okay," Clarke spoke carefully, her eyes drifting between the two frustrated mechanics who shared a look.

"Can someone go up and get Xander to boost the signal?" Reese shouted and Rowena quickly stood and nodded, rushing over to the ladder and quickly climbing it.

"Calling Ark Station." Raven repeated, her eyes drifting over to where Finn lay, and she began to speak tearfully, "Ark Station, please come in. I'm on the ground with the hundred, we need you."

Reese followed Raven to where she was gazing and frowned, she had tried her hardest not to look at Finn since she had first seen him being carried inside the gates because the sight of the knife sticking out of him made her want to vomit and the sight of him now, despite how mad she was at him for hurting Raven, made her sad. His body was too pale and his skin had a light sheen to it and his face twitched occasionally, and it was the only indication that he was still breathing.

"Are you there?" Reese asked, her tone desperate, "Please come in."

"Calling Ark Station." Raven practically shouted in frustration, "The one hundred are alive, can anyone hear me?"

"This is a restricted channel." A voice spoke, the radio crackling and Reese and Raven's head shot up, "Who is this? Please identify yourselves."

"Tell Xander to keep that signal," Reese shouted.

"This is Raven Reyes." Raven responded and the two women shared a relieved smile as Clarke rushed over to them, "I'm from Mecha Station. I'm with Reese Kane, from Factory Station, and we're transmitting from the ground. The hundred are alive, please, you need to get Doctor Abby Griffin."

"Doctor Abby Griffin, now." Reese shouted into her speaker, before she looked over her shoulder, "Will somebody please shut that door?"

"Hang on, girls." The voice replied, "We're trying to boost your signal."

"We can't." Monroe replied, "Bellamy and the others are still out there."

Reese made a sound of annoyance just as Rowena peered down the hole.

"He's holding it." She shouted over the wind.

"Raven, Alexander, are you there?" The voice of Abby Griffin came through the radio and Reese instantly turned in her seat, passing the third headset to Clarke who quickly placed it over her head.

"Mom?" She asked into the speaker, "Mom, it's me."

"Clarke?" The radio crackled harshly and Reese flipped a switch to clear it.

"Mom, I need your help." Clarke replied, "One of our people was stabbed by a grounder."

The voices on the other side were silent for a moment before a different voice spoke, this time male, "Clarke, this is the Chancellor. Are you saying there are survivors on the ground?"

"Yes." Clarke answered, "The Earth is survivable, we're not alone."

Reese thought about the grounder she had met and frowned, she appeared helpful but maybe it was a tactic.

"Doc, he's dying." Reese spoke into the speaker, "Clarke needs your help, we can discuss the grounders at a later time."

"Reese? Is that you?"

Reese's expression hardened at the new and familiar voice, though she'd only heard it three times directed at her in the last two years.

Of course, he'd be listening, She thought angrily.

"As I just said." She spoke through gritted teeth, "Talk later. Doc?"

"She's right." Clarke spoke, eyeing the older girl sadly, "The knife's still in his chest."

"Can you patch me through to medical?" They heard faintly from the speaker.

"Clarke, is my son with you?" Clarke's face fell at the Chancellor's words and when she made no move to speak, only shaking her head as she attempted to find the words, Reese gently grabbed her hand and spoke for her.

"Chancellor Jaha, I'm so sorry." She said quietly, her voice breaking, "Wells is, uh, Wells is dead."

The only sound that could be heard was the radio crackling for half a minute before Abby's voice could be heard once again, "I'm gonna talk you through it step by step. Clarke, give five. . .to medical. Medic..."

"What? Raven, Reese, what's wrong?" Clarke shouted as the two quickly began to work out the issue.

"It's the radio." Raven told her frantically, "It's the storm."

"It's screwing up the frequency." Reese exclaimed angrily, "Rowena, see if Xander can strengthen the signal."

"On it!" She shouted as Octavia entered the dropship, soaking wet with two canisters which she handed to Clarke who opened one and grimaced in disgust at the smell.

"Urgh, Monty's moonshine?" She guessed.

Raven got up out of her seat and moved away but Reese paid her no mind as she flicked a few switches and switched up a wire, flinching in surprise as a spark flew as she pulled it out and when she moved it, the static on the other end lessened.

"Pretty sure no germ could survive it." Octavia responded with a smirk as something on an upper level began to creak.

"Storm's getting worse." Clarke said as thunder shook the ship, "Monroe, close the doors."

Monroe glanced back at Reese, "We still have people out there."

"Monty and Jasper aren't back yet." Octavia told a frustrated Clarke, "Neither is Bellamy."

"They'll find somewhere to ride it out," Clarke responded as Reese looked up and watched Raven stop next to Clarke and hand her something, she hadn't even realised Bellamy had gone somewhere, "I still need something to close the wound."

"There's some wire on the second level." The younger girl informed her, "I used it for the tents."

As she began to move towards the ladder to find the wires, Reese called out to her, not taking her eyes away from her task, "Don't touch any of the blue ones."

"Oh, right, Al and I rigged it to the solar cells in the roof." Raven elaborated when Octavia turned to Reese in confusion, "That means they're hot, you got that?"

"Yeah, I got that," Octavia replied.

"Hey, they're back!" Reese looked over her shoulder to see Bellamy enter the dropship, his hair sticking to his forehead, but what surprised her was the grounder that Miller was helping Drew carry in.

"What the hell are you doing?" Octavia asked him angrily when she dropped down from the ladder.

"It's time to get some answers," Bellamy exclaimed, his eyes angry when he looked down at the unconscious grounder.

"Oh, you mean revenge." Octavia snapped.

"I mean intel." Bellamy corrected her before he turned to the three boys that had entered the dropship with him, "Get him upstairs."

Reese shook her head and turned back to her radio as it crackled to life again, "Clarke, honey, we're ready, can you hear me?"

"We're here, Doc." Reese answered, glancing over her shoulder to nod at Clarke, her eyes flickering to Bellamy who looked at the radio in panic, "Let's get this done, Bright Eyes."

"This is not who were are," Clarke told Bellamy, gesturing to the grounder that was being hauled up the ladder.

"Clarke?"

"It is now," Bellamy said after a moment before he shoved passed her.

"Signal is as good as it's gonna get, if we're gonna do this, we gotta do it now." Reese told the blonde as Jasper and Monty rushed inside, the latter telling them that they'd rounded everyone up to get inside, "Shut those doors as soon as everyone is inside!"

✦❀✦

"Reese, he's gonna torture him!"

Reese glanced up to see Octavia drop down from the ladder, her beat up and bloodied face twisted in worry as she rushed to her oldest friend, ignoring the glare Clarke sent her way for distracting her.

"Didn't he hurt you?" She asked, slightly concerned for the girl's sanity.

"No, he saved my life." Octavia exclaimed as she threw her hands up angrily, "Please, Ree, Bellamy won't listen to me, you have to stop him from hurting him."

"I'm not sure if I'll be able to." Reese told as she pulled the headset off of her head and got to her feet, "I can try."

Octavia beamed at her before she rushed off back up the ladder.

As she grabbed the ladder wrung and began to climb after the girl, she could hear Octavia shouting upstairs that caused her to climb faster until she stopped at the third level to see the girl banging on the hatch angrily.

"They locked the hatch." She shouted.

"Hop out of the way, O." Reese ordered and she waited until Octavia was off the ladder before she climbed all the way to the hatch and opened it, "Bellamy, open the hatch. Now!"

"Can't do that, Spitfire." His muffled voice shouted from between the floors.

"Bellamy, if you don't open this hatch in the next thirty seconds, I'll cut off the power on that level and you'll be alone in the dark with a man who can probably see very well in it." She shouted and when she received no answer, she sighed, "One! Two! Three! Fou–"

The hatch opened to reveal Miller who was glaring at her.

"What?" He snapped.

"Oh, you apart of Bell's entourage now?" She asked in surprise as she climbed the rest of the way and pushed her way past him into the topmost level and her eyes widened in shock at the sight of the ground chained up and, his face a bloodied mess, one eye swollen and his nose looking different than it had when he was drabbed into the dropship, "What the hell are you doing?"

"I'm getting my answers." Bellamy responded as Miller closed the hatch, "What are you doing up here?"

"I'm trying to make sure you don't do something you'll regret." Reese snapped, finally taking her eyes off of the grounder to look at her friend, "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"He hurt Octavia," Bellamy exclaimed angrily.

"Octavia said he saved her." Reese retorted, crossing her arms over her chest as she gazed at him, not entirely sure what she was looking for in his expression but fury and defiance wasn't it.

Bellamy scoffed harshly, "She's got you believing that, does she?"

"Why would she protect someone if they hurt her?" Reese shouted at him and his defiant face momentarily flickered before it slammed back into place as someone began pounding on the hatch.

"Hey!" Clarke's voice yelled, muffled by the floor between them, "Open the door!"

"Let her in," Reese ordered, glaring angrily at Bellamy who, without taking his eyes off of Reese, nodded at Miller who opened the hatch and Clarke moved up the ladder, her expression panicked as she looked at Miller who blocked her from moving further.

"Get out of my way, Miller." She snapped at him, "Now!"

When her feet were steady on the ground, she marched up to the grounder and got directly in his face, raising the knife for everyone in the room to see, and none of them noticed Octavia sneak in behind her.

"What's on this?" She demanded.

"What are you talking about?" Bellamy asked, moving closer to the girl, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"He poisoned the blade." Reese's breath hitched at Clarke's frantic words and her eyes darted between the blade with dried blood on it and the grounder in shock, "All this time, you knew Finn was gonna die no matter what we did. What is it? Is there an antidote?"

"Clarke, he doesn't understand you," Octavia yelled at the angry girl who's shoulders slumped in disappointment when the grounder remained silent.

Reese stared at the stoic man whose eyes flickered between the people around him, training on those who spoke, and she couldn't help but wonder if he was like that woman she had met twice now, and he spoke English as well as that foreign language and he was just choosing not to give Bellamy and Clarke the information they desired

"Vials." Bellamy exclaimed as he turned on his heel and picked up a small box, "It's gotta be here."

Clarke threw the knife to the ground as she turned to Bellamy and took the box from his hands and Reese turned to look at Octavia who was staring down at the rusted knife.

"You'd have to be stupid to have a poison around this long without an antidote." She murmured before she turned back to face the grounder and raised her voice to a piercing shout, "Which one?"

"Answer the question," Bellamy yelled at the man who tilted his head and glared back, remaining silent.

"Show us, please," Octavia said to him gently.

"Which one?" Clarke yelled desperately, "Our friend is dying down there and you can stop that."

Bellamy rushed forward and Octavia grabbed his shirt in her hands and pulled him back shouting for him to stop

"He wants Finn to die." Bellamy yelled at her angrily, "Why can't you see that?"

"That may be true, sure, but this isn't who we are." Reese shouted, "What you're doing is disgusting and you need to stop because it's not working, he's not going to talk."

Bellamy's eyes softened at her words before he shook his head and they became angry as he turned away from her and looked at Clarke for her opinion, "Do you want him to live or not?"

"Clarke, you even said what Reese said yourself, this is not who we are!" Octavia pleaded when they saw the hesitancy on the blonde's face, "He was protecting me, he saved my li–"

"We're talking about Finn's life." Bellamy cut her off furiously.

"Do it."

Shocked, Reese whipped around to face Clarke in horror, her eyes widening when she saw nothing but determination on the young girls face.

"No." Octavia whispered in shock and she was pulled back by Miller as she began to rush forward, "Just tell us!"

The next few moments went by in a blur as Bellamy cut one of the seat belts off of the wall and bunched the severed end in his fist causing Reese's eyes to widen in horror as he wandered back to the grounder and began to cut his shirt from his body before he took three steps back and stopped a mere two feet from him tightening his grip on the strap.

"You're gonna show us the antidote or you're gonna wish you had." He threatened and Reese felt a hand in her own and she glanced to her left to see Octavia staring at the man with tears in her eyes.

"Bellamy, don't." She called softly and he stiffened.

"You need to leave." He responded, "I don't want you seeing this."

Reese's chin trembled in anger as she shook her head, despite the fact that Bellamy could not see her.

"I'm staying right here." She told him tightly, her eyes gazing at his back in anger, "You're gonna have to live with the fact that I did see it."

Bellamy nodded tersely and raised his arm.

"Bellamy, no." Octavia pleaded, her grip on Reese's hand tightening, "Please."

Reese flinched at the sound of the buckle connecting with flesh, followed by a single grunt of pain and then another and another as tears began to fill her eyes at the sight but she kept them open as much as she wanted to close them, Bellamy needed to know what he was doing was wrong.

"You told him to do it but you can't stomach the sight?" She asked Clarke angrily when she saw the girl look away from the scene, "That's somehow worse."

"Please, which one is the antidote?" Clarke asked desperately, ignoring Reese's words as she tipped the vials onto the floor in front of the man, "Just tell them."

Bellamy pushed her away and wrapped the belt around his hand one more time.

CRACK.

Reese winced at the sound again, a whimper escaping her when she heard the grounder grunt in pain and her eyes burned with tears she refused to let fall.

"Please stop, Bellamy!" Octavia cried.

"Clarke, he's getting worse!"

"We're running out of time." Clarke exclaimed as she moved to the vials once more, "Which one? Which one is it? If you tell us, they will stop. Please tell us which is the antidote and they'll stop this."

They waited in silence but the grounder said nothing and Bellamy through the belt across the room angrily and Reese caught the grounder's faint flinch when it landed to the left of him but she remained quiet.

"If that doesn't work, maybe this will." He whispered harshly as he picked up one of the knives they had made, "Clarke, you don't have to be here for this."

He didn't include Reese or Octavia, he knew they wouldn't leave and guilt flooded him, knowing what they were both witnesses to.

"I'm not leaving until I get the antidote," Clarke responded and Reese shook her head in disgust when the blonde turned away as Bellamy loomed over the grounder, his blade hovering over him.

"Last chance." He warned and the grounder only glared at him in hate as the blade was shoved into his open palm, causing Octavia to cry out and Reese to gasp as the grounder's hand began to shake and he breathed through his nose heavily, his gaze murderous when he locked eyes with Bellamy. 

"What's taking so long?" Raven shouted as she came up the ladder, "He stopped breathing."

"What?" Clarke panicked and Raven grabbed her before she could rush to aid him.

"He started again." Raven cried, "But next time, he might not."

"He won't tell us anything."

Raven stared at her before she turned to the grounder and anger sparked in her eyes.

"Want to bet?" She challenged and Reese could only watch in terror as she made her way to the blue wires, fear pooling in her stomach when she caught on to Raven's plan.

"What are you doing?" Bellamy questioned as she ripped two of the wires from the wall and touched the tips together, sparks flying from the ends as the crackled.

"Showing him something new," Raven responded over the sound of the electricity buzzing.

Fear truly sparked in the grounders eye at the sight and he began to scream as the tips touched his exposed skin and the lights in the ship began to flicker on and off as the man shouted in agony.

"Which one is it?" Raven screamed when she pulled the wires away before she immediately pressed them back onto his torso, "Come on!"

"Raven stop!" Reese shouted over the pained shouts.

"He's all I have!" Raven's voice broke as she yelled at both Reese and the grounder.

"I said, stop." She ordered, her voice strong as she rushed forward and tried to rip the sparking wires from the girl's grasp who stepped away, "That's enough."

"No more," Octavia screamed.

"He's letting Finn die." Raven cried when she saw the knife in Octavia's grip.

"Octavia, no." Bellamy yelled frantically as she cut herself with the poisoned blade and the grounder began to pull at his restraints as the girl dropped to her knees and crawled over to the vials that still lay on the ground, "Octavia, what the hell did you–"

"He won't let me die." She said simply as she looked up at the man pleadingly, "Is it this one? Huh? No, okay. What about this one?"

Reese watched in shock as the grounder tilted his head and Octavia picked up the one on the end, lifting it up in question and the twitching man nodded his head, causing Octavia to smile.

"Thank you." She breathed out as she handed the vial to Clarke who rushed to the ladder and disappeared quickly with Raven hot on her heels.

Reese grabbed some rags on one of the seats and rushed over to where Octavia was still kneeling, grabbing her wounded arm gently and wrapping the rag tightly around the cut, choosing to ignore the fact that they were still staring at one another until Bellamy touched her shoulder and she turned, shoving him away from her.

"Don't touch me." She exclaimed angrily and Bellamy turned to Reese who refused to look him in the eye.

✦❀✦

She watched in partial amusement as Clarke attempted to clean the grounder's wounds who in turn, moved as far as he could from her and glared at her.

"I need to clean this." She huffed at him and Reese rolled her eyes and got to her feet, making her way over to the two and she pulled the rag from the blonde's grip.

"You turned away and allowed him to be tortured." She told her, "There's no way he wants you anywhere near him."

Clarke sighed and Reese ignored her as she gently grasped the man's hand, staring at him in question, and sighing quietly when he refused to open his fist.

"I didn't want him to get hurt, Reese." Clarke said as she took a few steps back, "You have to know that."

Reese snorted.

"Yeah, the words 'do it' sound just like 'don't hurt him'." She quipped, her tone staying light as she mocked how Clarke spoke but her eyes held so much anger and disgust in their icy depths.

"I just wanted to save Finn." Clarke told her gently as Reese chose to instead clean the blood on the other side of his hand first.

"Well, for the record, it wasn't you who saved Finn." Octavia's voice cut in and Reese momentarily glanced over her shoulder to see her stepping off of the ladder, "That was me, but whatever you want to tell yourself to feel better."

She reached the bucket and pulled another rag from it and looked at Reese in question who nodded and moved away from his hand as Clarke shook her head and walked away.

Reese stared at the man who barely allowed Octavia to touch him and she sighed.

"Jos..teik ai...sis au...yu." She spoke to him  softly, trying to remember the exact words that the woman had spoken when she told Reese where to find Murphy which caused the grounder's eyes to move away from Octavia as he turned to look at her in shock, "That's all I know, please don't expect anything else."

Octavia looked at her in surprise but it was momentary when the grounder nodded once and loosened the fist he was making and allowed Octavia to clean the wound.

"I'm so sorry." Octavia told him guiltily, "You saved my life and lo-look at the thanks you get. I never wanted any of this to happen to you."

Reese shook her head sadly as his gaze drifted to her before moving back to Octavia and staying there.

"Thank you." He breathed out and Octavia smiled at him.

Miller glanced up, looking between the two and the grounder in mild suspicion, "Hey, did he just say something?"

"No." Octavia denied, shaking her head furiously.

"I did." Reese told him, "Are you saying I sound like a man, Nate?"

"I didn't say that," Miller responded.

Reese smirked at him as she dropped the rag in her bucket and made her way to the hatch, smiling faintly at the man before she moved down the ladder and when she made it to the bottom, the radio was crackling like it had before she, Raven and Alexander had fixed it. She frowned at the noise, choosing to look at it later on and she walked out of the ship, her eyes surveying the disorder that the storm had created that the teenagers were attempting to repair.

"We'll get it cleaned up," Bellamy told her when she stopped, not having realised that she was standing beside him and Clarke.

"I wish this was our only mess," Clarke said as began to walk away before Bellamy stopped her, looking at her and then Reese imploringly.

"Who we are and who we need to be to survive." He told them, "Are very different things."

Clarke said nothing for a moment before she began to speak, "What are we gonna do with him? We can't keep him locked up forever."

"If we let him go, he'll be back, and not alone next time," Bellamy answered and Reese sucked in a sharp breath at the implication of what he thought needed to be done.

Clarke's face fell at the thought.

"It's not easy being in charge, is it?" He concluded before Clarke spun on her heel and walked away leaving Bellamy to turn his attention to Reese who didn't look at him.

"Reese?" He asked gently.

"I understand why you think you had to do what you did but if what just happened up there is who we need to be to survive." She whispered almost tearfully as she pointed at the dropship, still appalled by the events, what he and Raven had done to the grounder, "Then I'm not sure I want to."

══════════════════

my girl reese hates violence and it makes me sad because of all the shit i'm about to put her through.

Jos..teik ai...sis au...yu - Just let me help you.

she only knows that because the grounder she met translated it to her before she disappeared. it's the only phrase she knows currently so please don't come at me.

thanks for reading!

~r