T.W. Anxiety ? (I don't know)

I also wrote this without my glasses so excuse the mistakes. (I made like 10 whilst writing this but up here. Oops?)

Virgil sighed and looked at his bed sheets, it wasn't that he was actively avoiding anyone, he just didn't know how to face anyone. He needed something, and he didn't know what it was, and this need seemed to be affecting how he was when he was around his fellow sides. He wasn't sure what it was, but he couldn't figure it out, and when he tried to ask for help, he got defensive, and ended up being rather snappy.

He forced himself off his bed, and over to his desk, where he saw the paper lying from Logan.

Virgil, I may not be the best at emotions, but I know when someone is hiding something, or when they need to talk, and I hope you know I am always here to listen. - Logan.

Virgil smiled weakly, and traced the words across the page. It meant a lot to him that Logan went out of his way to make sure Virgil knew he was there. But, Virgil didn't intend on taking Logan up on the offer. Out of the three other sides, Logan would make him feel the worst.

Virgil groaned and dragged a hand down his face, looking at his handwriting. Logan cared for him, and it made him feel... Strange. He couldn't pinpoint it, and on top of that, he was already confused as to why he felt the way he did.

He was sad for no reason, and wanted someone there, but as soon as there was someone, he would end up pushing them away. It didn't make sense. Did he, or did he not want someone around?

He looked at his door, and decided to see if he could find Patton or Roman, maybe they would be willing to help him, even if he got defensive.

As he walked down the corridor, he bumped into Logan, literally. Logan's focus was on the book in his hands, and Virgil was too lost in thought to even remember Logan was around, and he would have to watch out for him.

"Sorry." Virgil muttered, quickly rushing around Logan, not wanting to look at him. If he so much as saw Logan looking at him, his heart sped up, his breathing hitched, and his mind went blank, not to mention the fact that his face would heat up and turn bright red.

"Virgil." Logan pushed up his glasses, the book now lay closed in his hand.

"What?" Virgil kept his gaze down, and his back turned. He couldn't deal with Logan right then, nor did he want to. Things were confusing enough, what was he supposed to do?

"You have not left your room, prior to this, today, are you alright?"

"I'm fine." He snapped, and walked off before Logan could talk to him anymore.

He made his way to Roman's door, it being closer than Patton's, and knocked quickly, he didn't know what he was doing, and that made his anxiety spike.

"Virgil?" Roman stood the other side of the doorframe, and Virgil found himself feeling intimidated by the confidence he was radiating.

"I'm sorry, I uh... I'll go." Virgil turned to leave, but paused when a hand rested on his shoulder. He tensed slightly, before feeling everything come crashing down. He want to cry, he wanted to scream, and shout, and let everything go, but when he turned back to Roman, he wasn't sure why he felt that way. Roman was looking at him with nothing but concern, and... Love?

"Virgil, come inside, you look terrified." Roman led him into the brightly lit room. Patton was sat on Roman's bed, and Virgil realised he had interrupted them.

"I'm sorry." He looked down, fiddling with his sleeves.

"For what?" Roman frowned.

"Bothering you." Virgil looked as though he wanted to run away. He was terrified. He didn't know what to say, or what to do. He wanted to hide, and never show his face, but he needed the help, and how was he supposed to tell them all that?

"You're not bothering us." Patton walked over, and rest his hand on Virgil's shoulder, causing him to tense up once more.

"I just... I don't want to be a bother." He didn't life his head, he couldn't. How was he supposed to ask for help when he went through everything alone?

"Virgil, you're not being a bother, we are here if you need anything, and we will do our best to help you."

"I just... I don't understand any of it."

Roman and Paton shared a concerned look, and Patton led Virgil to Roman's bed. "Kiddo."

"I just don't understand how I feel. I want to understand. But I don't. And I don't know how to begin to understand it. I can't explain it. It's like... It's like..." He trailed off, looking at the bed sheets, feeling his face heat up. "It's like I'm missing something, but I don't know what it is, or what it could possibly be. I know everything is there, so what am I missing?"

"When was the last time you were hugged?"

"Last time I was..." Virgil trailed off, trying to remember the last time he was actually hugged. The last time that he recalled was after he had just first manifested, and Patton had bombarded him, and then after he'd suffered his attack, Patton held him close. His heart ached at the memory and he looked down. He remembered he suffered attacks in silence after that. Patton and Roman were too busy together, and Roman hated him, so he never wanted to get between them, and Logan... He didn't think he could trust Logan, so he never went to him, not to mention, he wouldn't hug him, even if Logan's life depended on it, Logan hated physical affection, and Virgil wouldn't subject him to that. "Just after I manifested."

He glanced at Patton, who looked at him with wide eyes, realising he was the only one to have ever hugged him.

"Kiddo, why didn't you ask for a hug... And your attacks... I stopped... I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I went through it all alone, and I was fine. I didn't want to get in the way of you two, especially when one of you was hostile towards me. I was scared, and I couldn't deal with it. I wanted to come to you, but Roman..."

"Why didn't you go to Logan?"

"And subject him to my issues?"

"That's what we're here for. To trust and listen."

"How can I trust any of you when I felt as though you all hated me?" Virgil stood up, and ran his hand through his hair, trying to fight back the tears.

"No one truly hated..."

"Don't give me that... I know you're lying. Roman hated my guts, said I always held Thomas back. You can't blame me for not trusting him, or Logan. Logan always seemed to disregard me, and basically insinuated that I was taking it all ridiculously. I couldn't trust any of you. And you. You're always around Roman, how was I to be able to come to you when your boyfriend hates me." Virigi's eyes widened, and he looked down. "Hated... He hated me. He doesn't anymore." He felt a tear or two escape, and he went to walk to the door.

"Virgil." Roman tried, reaching out for him.

"Don't touch me. I'll be fine. Sorry I even tried." Virgil ran out of the room, and towards his own, not noticing when he ran through the commons that Logan was sat on the sofa, or had stopped paying attention to his book when he heard yelling coming from the Right side of the mind.

Virgil wiped at his eyes, hoping the tears left. He didn't want to be weak, but that's all he was. Weak, useless, and disliked.

"Virgil?" Logan knocked on his door, and awaited a reply.

"Get lost." Virgil called back, bitterness lacing his words. He didn't care if he was harsh, he needed to understand, and all he got was a reminder of how useless he's always been.

"No." Logan rest his hand on Virgil's door handle. "If you do not let me in, I will be forced to sink into your room."

Virgil sighed, and unlocked the door, keeping his gaze down, not wanting to look at Logan, or let him see the tears in his eyes.

"Virgil, what happened?"

"I was reminded..."

"Of what?"

"How stupid I am, and how useless I have always been."

Logan rest a hand on the top of Virgil's arm, causing him to look up with wide eyes, and a sharp intake of breath.

"Virgil, you are not, nor have you ever been, stupid and pointless. You are a valuable part of Thomas, whom we all love and cherish. You should not feel as though you are. I care for you, and I am willing to do whatever it takes to make you see how worthwhile you are."

Virgil flushed under Logan's gaze, and he looked away.

"Why didn't you ever come to me sooner?"

"I thought you didn't want me to."

"Don't even go there." Virgil pulled his arm away from Logan, and walked into his room, sighing shakily. "I have always wanted one of you, and then I get you guys to finally see me, and you're still not there for me! How do you expect me to react? I was suffering in the dark and silence for years, before any of you even cared to notice me. Patton hugged me once. Once. He's supposedly the dad, who hugs everyone, but no, I got one hug, and then it's all my fault for not asking? Roman hated me, and then he wants me to have trusted him when he did nothing but dislike me? And you? You supposedly hate all of this, yet here you are."

Virgil ran a hand through his hair, and looked back at Logan, who was closer to him than he remembered him being.

"I dislike it all, a lot, but I care for you, and I am willing to do whatever I can for you."

Virgil flushed under his gaze, and looked away, gasping slightly when he felt a hand on his cheek.

"Virgil, I am always here, you know that."

"Yes. I do." Virgil whispered, "but how do I even ask?"

"Knock on my door, and say whatever you need to say. If you need a hug, I will give you a hug, whatever you need, I will do my best to help you."

"I need a hug." Virgil broke down, unable to hold back any longer. He felt himself being wrapped in a strong hold, and he used that hold to stay on his feet.

Logan ran his hand up and down Virgil's back, all the while, murmuring reassurances in Virgil's ear.

Eventually, Virgil calmed down, and he looked up at Logan. "I'm sorry." He wiped his eyes, and sighed sadly.

"You need not be sorry." Logan smiled, and cupped his cheek. "If you do not mind, I would like to kiss you?"

"Okay."

Logan closed the gap between them, and Virgil's eyes fluttered closed. In that moment, he realised he was head over heels in love with Logan, and knowing he was there was beneficial for him. Their lips moved together perfectly, and Virgil's heart swelled in his chest.

They soon parted, and Virgil flushed deeply once again.

"I like you... A lot." He finally managed out.

"As do I. However, before much else, I think you ought apologise to Patton and Roman.

Virgil smiled weakly, and went to apologise for his outburst, however, when he walked into the commons, they were too busy kissing to even see him there. When he finally got to apologise to them, Patton insisted that he go to him if he needed anything, and to go to Roman too.

Virgil smiled, and agreed to that, and left to go to Logan. He smiled when he saw Logan at his desk.

"What you doing?" Virgil smiled and walked over to him, trying to sneak a peek at whatever was on the paper in front of him.

"None of your business." Logan turned around and smiled at Virgil, pulling him onto his lap. "I have a proposal."

"But we aren't even dating..." Virgil grinned, causing Logan to groan and bury his face in Virgil's shoulder.

"You know what I mean."

"Yeah, I do, what's up?"

"Would you be my boyfriend, and accompany me on a date?"

"Sure." Virgil smiled, and looked at his now boyfriend. "If, I can kiss you again?"

"It would be my pleasure."

Virgil leaned into Logan, and pressed their lips together, humming happily at the feel. He didn't know what much of this felt like, but when his lips met Logan's, the buzz he felt from kissing him outweighed any worry he had.

Logan was the one to pull away, and Virgil had to fight everything to not chase after his lips.

"You are rather heavy." Logan stated, looking at his boyfriend with a small smile.

"And you are a nerd." Virgil shrugged, but stood up anyway, smiling at the logical trait.

"That I am."

Virgil and Logan moved over to Virgil's bed, and cuddled for a while, watching whatever they could find on Netflix.

-

Virgil sighed, tossing and turning. He had only been with Logan for a day, yet he couldn't seem to sleep without Logan there. He'd been awake for hours, and he wasn't sure why he didn't just get up.

He looked at the time. 4:45 am. Too early. He sighed and flopped back on his bed. After all those years of no affection, why was he suddenly craving it now?

He sighed and sat up once more, reaching for his phone. If he messed with his phone, he wouldn't get any sleep, causing the other's to worry. If he stayed in his bed, he wouldn't get any sleep, resulting in the same outcome. If he went to Logan, he could potentially worry the others, but he would sleep, which would be more beneficial.

He finally made his decision, and slipped on his hoodie, before padding along to Logan's room, where he knocked.

"Virgil?" Logan answered the door, and in his sleepy, messy state, Virgil had to admit he looked rather adorable.

"I can't sleep. I need help?" His statement turned into a question. He wasn't used to asking for help, but he was sure Logan would try to help him in any way possible.

Logan took his hand, and led him to the bed, where they lay down and cuddled, which helped Virgil fall asleep.

A few hours later, Patton did his morning rounds of checking on each of the sides as they slept, making sure they were okay, and as he opened Logan's room, he smiled fondly.

Logan and Virgil were laying in each other's arms, sound asleep, and Patton realised they both looked happy. Small smiles adorning their faces, and they were more relaxed than they'd ever been. He made a mental note to tell Roman not to wake them up. 

-

Virgil woke up to sunlight streaming in through the window, and he sighed happily. He looked up at Logan, who had a book in his hands, and he was focused on the words he was reading.

"Morning." Virgil muttered, his voice laced with sleep, and his eyes were half shut, but he didn't care, he had to say good morning to his boyfriend.

"Good morning. You slept well, I hope?"

"Better than I have in a while."

"I have no objections to you sharing my bed, but it would be preferable if you came to me before five am, since that leaves you getting four hours of sleep. Should you need me, make sure you come to me no later than one am, since it gives you enough sleep. One am is not an optimal time to sleep, but it is better than five am."

"It's too early to be nerdy." Virgil sighed and buried his face in Logan's stomach, since Logan had sat up.

"I apologise."

"I will try to come to you earlier if I need you." Virgil looked up at Logan who smiled down at him.

Virgil sat up, and looked at his boyfriend expectantly, tilting his head slightly.

Logan sighed and smiled. "Would you like a kiss?"

"Please." 

Logan smiled fondly, and pressed a soft kiss to Virgil's lips. It wasn't long, nor was it anything special, but it made Virgil smile.

The two walked hand in hand down to the kitchen, and smiled when they saw Patton and Roman messing around, making food.

"Good morning." Logan spoke, as he and Virgil slid into their respective seats.

"Good morning, kiddos, sleep well?" Patton smiled at Virgil, who flushed and looked at his and Logan's laced hands.

Roman grinned, and sent a knowing look at Patton, who smiled, and set their food down.

"Yes, it was adequate." Logan smiled, and glanced a Virgil, who was leaning against him, half asleep still.

"Yes, it was adequate." Virgil mocked, ignoring the looks he got from Patton and Roman. He smiled and looked at Logan innocently, who looked at him with a fond smile.

"Do not mock me again." He pressed a soft kiss to Virgil's forehead, and smiled.

"But it's fun." Virgil pouted, but agreed nonetheless.

-

After breakfast, the four sides moved to the living room, and sat with one another, mutually agreeing to watch a movie, cuddled up to their boyfriend.

Virgil found it relaxing to be cuddled up against Logan, and in all honesty, it wasn't something he wanted to stop. 

As they watched the movie, Logan felt Virgil's head on his shoulder, and the weight increased as he fell asleep more. He glanced over at Patton and Roman who were suppressing squeals, and he smiled fondly. 

Maybe Virgil didn't know a lot about affection, but with the other's by his side, he was sure to figure it out, and he would learn to accept love and affection more.

3014 words

Hope you enjoyed
Take care
xx