I'm sorry for the slow updates. School has been kicking my ass. Trigger warning: self harm, eating disorders.

John's POV

I look in the bathroom mirror at my thin frame. I'm in my binder and sweats. I've been wearing my binder for longer then I should and really should take it off because it isn't healthy to where it as long as I have.

I look down at my bleeding wrists. God, I'm such a mess. I've been thinking a lot about what happened between Alex and I on Saturday. It's Monday now.

He keeps texting me...

Text from Lil'Lion

Lil'Lion: hey, are you ok?

RainbowTurtleBoi read at 4:45 a.m.

Lil'Lion: John, did something happen between you and Jenny?

RainbowTurtleBoi read at 5:00 a.m.

Lil'Lion: John please. I know your seeing these.

RainbowTurtleBoi read at 5:30 a.m.

I ignore any texts he sends me after that. I'm gonna have to tell him the truth. Only Aspen and Peggy know...

I'm so scared.

And now I have to leave for school with my sister. Where I have some classes with Alex.

Damn it.

Time skip to lunch

I don't get anything to eat. I have a pit of fear in my stomach. Alex is sitting at the usual table. I take a shakey breath and I prepare for the worst.

I prepare for him to call me disgusting.

I prepare for him to wish me dead.

I prepare for this boy, who I haven't seen in years who was my best friend, to hate me.

I quietly take a seat next to him. He gives me a soft smile and I look down.

"Can I talk to you, alone?" He asks quietly.

I bite my lip and nod. We both stand up and go to the bathrooms. (Very stereotypical. I know) He stops walking and turns to me. Hus brown eyes reflect a little bit of gold from the lights.

"Please tell me what happened to Jenny..." he says in a gentle voice.

I take a deep breath, "Alex... Jenny's changed so much since you last saw her. Or him, I s-should say..."

He looks beyond confused.

"Alex... I'm Jenny," I say. "I've always been a boy but was to scared to tell you when we were kids and I understand if you hate me and think that this is weird and that I'm a freak but this is who I am and I-"

He pulls me into his arms. He hugs me tightly.

"I've missed you..." he whispers gently.

I feel tears well in my eyes. He doesn't hate me? He's... hugging me?

I hug back, " I missed you t-too."

Oh c'mon, John, don't cry. Not in front of Alex!

My eyeballs betray me and warm tears slowly slip down my cheeks. I burie my face in Alex's shoulder. He slowly pulls away.

"What's wrong?" He asks, wiping away my tears, "why are you crying?"

"Y-you don't hate me," I say, looking into his eyes.

"I could never," he says as he dries the tears from my eyes. "Wanna come over after school today?"

I go to say yes but I can't. I gotta pick Mary up from daycare. I gotta make sure neither of them get hurt by our dad. I can't say yes to the one person I've wanted to see for the past five years.

"I can't," I say, looking down. "I need to take care of my sisters..."

"What about your parents?" He asks.

"Um... b-both dead..." I say. I'm not completely wrong. My mom is really dead and my dad is dead to me.

"Oh, John I'm so sorry," he says. "I remember how close you were with your mom."

"Y-yeah..." I say.

We talk in that bathroom for a while. We have so much catching up to do. I missed my Alex.

My Alex...

That was ok I guess. Love y'all!
-your favorite weirdo 🦄🌈🐢🐺🌺💚