Disclaimer—I don't own or make claim to the characters from The Walking Dead. I only own my original characters

It's a comfortable silence in the van as Rick and I drive to the farming outpost. After a lazy Sunday which I used to spend time with the kids before our quick trip, morning came early and we got on the road shortly after sunrise. Even after the years of the apocalypse, I'm still not much of a morning person though, so I appreciate Rick not having to fill the silence as my brain wakes up. I might wake up early now out of habit and necessity, but that doesn't mean I like it. We've been driving for about an hour now and are making steady progress toward the outpost.

"How long will it take to get there?" Rick asks, finally breaking the silence.

"We're making really good time," I respond. "I guesstimate we are about 1⁄3 of the way there, so another couple of hours."

I can feel his eyes on me. I ignore it for a few minutes, but finally give up, glancing at him and verifying that he's staring at me. "What?" I ask.

"Just trying to figure you out."

I smile. "What are you trying to figure out? I'm pretty straightforward."

He responds, "Mostly, I'm just trying to figure out how you became who you are now."

"I don't know that just staring at me is going to help you with that. But a basic answer is that an apocalypse tends to change you in unexpected ways. I grew into who I am now through the necessity of keeping my children alive." I look at him. "Whatever it takes, right?"

"Right. Whatever it takes." He reaches over and squeezes my hand. Silence reigns for a few more minutes until Rick says, "This seems like a good chance for us to get to know one another better."

I glance at him. "Alright. What do you want to know?"

"Ladies first. Anything you'd like to know about me?" Wow. There's so much I'd like to know about him, his past, his views, I struggle with where to start. He's a complicated man and there are a lot of things I'd like to understand. Maybe start with who he was before all of this? I slow down as I negotiate a tricky car wreck, maneuvering the van around the cars. Once we're past the cars and I speed up, I say, "OK, what was your profession back before all of this?"

"I was a Sheriff's Deputy in King County, GA."

I nod to myself. That makes a lot of sense. "That must have been handy, you at least were a little more prepared for this world than the rest of us." He asks, "How do you figure that?" I reply, "Well, you already knew how to shoot a gun and how to fight. I'm sure you knew self-defense and such?" He nods after understanding my train of thought.

He looks at me, "How did you learn to fight and protect yourself in this world if you didn't know how before?"

"Well, I had shot a gun before but was no expert at it. Dave taught me as we were trying to make our way home. Well, he taught me and the kids. He knew we all needed to know how to defend ourselves. As far as the fighting skills, that just came with practise and a lot of luck. I learned what worked on the dead and what didn't by trial and error. I soon learned it was better to knock them off balance so I had an advantage in order to get the head shots and take them out. I was lucky and didn't make a fatal error while I was learning. Knowing I had to keep the kids alive was a good motivator." I glance over to see him nodding at my response. "How did you manage to keep your family safe when I imagine law enforcement was pulled in for duty when things got crazy?"

It's silent for a few moments when he finally responds, "I didn't keep them safe." I glance at him at that, surprised. He looks back at me with sad eyes. "I got shot on duty just before all of this, was in the hospital." I stare at him, shocked. "I was in a coma when everything happened. My best friend, Shane, he's the one that got them out, protected them until I found them again." Woah. I wasn't expecting that. It must have been bad if he was in a coma. I ask, "So you didn't see things happening? You just woke up to this world?" He nods. "Yeah." I can't even imagine. It took me time to accept what was happening in this world and that was while watching it happen. How did he survive without knowing what was happening? I ask him about this and he responds by telling me the whole story. How he woke up, made his way home, found a man named Morgan and his son Duane. They taught him about what was happening, how to live in this world now. How he cleaned out his station of guns & ammo and made his way to Atlanta hoping to find his family at a refugee center he'd heard was there. How he rode into town on a damn horse and was saved by Glenn after he called him a dumbass. The way they escaped the walkers by using walker guts to walk among them and disguise their smell. Finding his family at their base camp when they got there. Going to the CDC, what they found there, what Dr. Jenner told him. Losing Carol's daughter Sophia on the road, Carl getting shot, Shane getting the supplies to save him, but sacrificing a man to do it. How Shane went down a dark road and killed walker's kept in Maggie's family's barn going against Maggie's Dad's wishes. How Sophia walked out of the barn a walker and Rick had to put her down. Finding out his wife and Shane had been together, her trying to end her pregnancy and then the horde that came through when Shane tried to kill him. How he had to kill Shane and Carl killed walker Shane. How he took control of the group after that and dictated what they had to do to survive. Finding the prison and then losing his wife there. He trails off, but I can connect the pieces now. He told me how he lost his wife before, how he thought he was losing his sanity. This adds so much depth to it though. We sit in silence for a couple of minutes and then I look at him and say, "I'm so sorry. I don't know how you came back from that. You've been through a lot, more than I could have imagined." He nods and says, "I've been lucky to be able to make it through, keep my kids alive. You haven't had a monopoly on luck." I shake my head, "I don't think that was all luck for you. You did that. You kept them alive."

He shakes his head at me, saying, "No. Sometimes I think I've put them in more danger than I've protected them. I'm a broken man, Sandi. It's best you understand that before we get involved any further. I've done things that I'm not proud of, some horrible things. I already told you that I'm not a good man anymore." No. I shake my head denying what he's saying. He's been through a lot, but he got his kids through it and survived it. "You aren't broken, maybe just reshaped. We can't stay who we were before and survive this world. You tried to tell me before that you aren't a good man, but you're wrong Rick. I told you then and I'll tell you again now. You are a good man. You've beaten impossible odds, you've kept your kids alive through all of this." I put my hand on his leg. "Whatever it takes, remember? You have what it takes." He puts his hand on top of mine. "Whatever it takes," he reaffirms. He looks relieved, like he thought I was going to judge him harshly for what he'd told me and break off our agreement. I never could, he did what was necessary. I look up and see the watch tower of the farming outpost come into view. I nod toward it as I pull my hand back and point. "There it is, we're here."

I pull up and stop at the gate. Luckily they recognize my van and the goon manning the gate lets me through. I see Negan's orders about me made it up here as well. Good thing they don't know Negan is gone, I don't like the way the goon is looking at me. "I'm here to see Jane," I declare as I get out of the van. The goon nods to Rick who has joined me. "Who's that?"

I reply, "It's a friend I brought to see Jane." The goon doesn't look convinced, but after mulling it over he lets us continue on. Not worth defying Negan's orders over. I quickly lead Rick to Jane's office and knock. At her instruction to enter, I open the door and walk in. She looks up and sees me and choking back a cry, runs over to embrace me. "Sandi! I didn't think I'd ever see you again, what are you doing here? Did Negan finally see reason and let you come back here to do the canning?" She looks behind me, seeing Rick standing there observing. "Where are the kids? Where's Dave?" I step back from her embrace. Obviously Negan was keeping her in the dark.

"It's good to see you too Jane. I came to tell you that Negan's dead, you're free." She sits down in shock. "Negan, dead? How?"

"I killed him," I respond. She chokes, "You killed him?" She looks afraid for me. I explain. "He killed Dave." I explain what happened with Kayla, Negan's lieutenant and Dave's death. "Negan set the kids and I free as repayment when he found he was in the wrong. I had to take him out Jane. I couldn't let him get away with that or everything else he was doing to people. I joined with some other communities." I gesture to Rick, "Rick is the leader of a community called Alexandria. I pulled in Hilltop and The Kingdom as well. We surrounded the sanctuary with walkers, took out all their outposts except yours and then dealt with the Sanctuary and Negan. They're gone Jane, the saviors are gone, either dead or captured."

Jane sobs and hugs me again. After some time, she pulls back and says, "The guards must not know. They are rabid Negan fanatics." I shrug, "There was no one to tell them. They knew to let me in without challenge though, so they obviously knew about Dave's death and the orders for me to be left alone and not hassled. They kept it all from you Jane. But they will figure it out sooner or later when nobody comes from the Sanctuary to pick up the food. They'll ask questions."

Jane shakes her head and sits down. "This isn't going to be easy. Since Negan took you, he's put bad men, hard men here. There's only two of them, but they're dangerous. They harass my workers, take the cream of the crop and have been running the place ragged. They'll kill you if they find out you killed Negan." Rick looks at me, concerned, and says, "There's only two of them? I can handle that. Tell me about them, about their routines."

I shake my head at him. "You aren't taking them on alone. We'll do this together." Rick immediately shakes his head at me, "No, you took out Negan alone, I'll do this on my own." I put my hand on his shoulder, "I've told you I was wrong to not include you with Negan. We're a team now, we need to work together, to prove that we can work together." I stare into his eyes as I say this. He sees that I'm serious and closes his eyes. When he opens them, I can see resignation in them. He knows that this relationship won't be going anywhere if he shuts me out now, not now that we've agreed to work as friends and progress to whatever else comes. "You can't protect me all the time, not in this world. But we can learn to work together to take on the threats in this world, to protect our kids." He stares at me and finally nods. "We plan it all out though, every piece and we don't deviate from the plan." I nod and agree. We turn to Jane and grill her about the guards routines and habits. After that we develop a plan using me as a distraction, as bait. Rick isn't happy about it, but he can see it's the best route to take. I then turn to Jane.

"Jane, I live in a place called Alexandria now. They are low on food, but they have ammunition which I remember you being low on. They're producing their own now, so it's plentiful. Since you won't have to give Negan half of everything anymore, would you be interested in a trade?"

Jane is amenable to the idea and we hammer out the details. She is very generous in her terms, telling us it will be worth it if we rid her of these goons and bring her ammunition in return. I give her an overview of the charter Michonne is working on as well, a beginning to rebuilding our worlds, to communities working together. She is interested and agrees to talk more later when we return. Rick eyes me and I can tell he has thoughts on this, but he holds his tongue for now.

As we walk out to enact our plan, Rick catches my arm and pulls me to the side. "I thought you were waiting for me to talk to Michonne about the charter, get my feedback first." I look up at him, "I was, I am. I just wanted her to know it existed, that it's a good thing, that I endorse in case I don't get a chance to talk to her about it more later." He gives me a steady look. "I know what Michonne wants you to do, I talked to her about her ideas yesterday afternoon." I nod. "Then we'll have to have a conversation about your thoughts on that. I meant what I said, this is between you and Michonne and I'll abide by your decision, but it's not a bad idea, you know. Let's take care of these goons first though." He nods and we continue on our way until we reach the place we part for now. He pulls me in for a hug saying, "Stay safe. And don't provoke him too much." I hug him back and respond, "I know you'll be there and have my back, but I'll try to be good." He gives me a knowing look repeating, "Don't go too far. The plan doesn't work if he gets so mad at you he kills you before I can get to you." I smile. "Don't worry, I'll be good," I assure him as I continue walking toward the guard tower.

We have verified they only have one person on guard at a time--not very smart on their part. This leaves the other free to wander and molest unsuspecting people trying to work the fields. I walk up to the guard and distract him with conversation--at least I keep it limited to conversation despite the overtures he's making to me--and Rick sneaks up behind him and takes him out quietly with his knife. One down, one to go. These two men are some of the worst of Negan's soldiers. They have harassed Jane and her people badly and they would never change. The best option is to take them out of the equation.

We dispose of the body and one of Jane's men takes over the guard tower. Soon we locate the other guard in the carrot field, harassing a poor girl there. I walk over and send the girl away and repeat the plan. I distract as Rick sneaks up behind him and soon he's gone as well. Good riddance, that one was especially creepy with his propositions. I need a shower after interacting with those two.

Jane is grateful and loads up the van with food despite wanting us to stay the night. I tell her we have to get back to the kids, I don't like leaving them alone for long, even with all the completely capable people who I trust at Alexandria. We will get more food when we send the ammunition back as well, so the sooner we return and send the ammunition, the better the situation for the people of Alexandria. I hug Jane before we leave, glad we could take care of the threat to her and her people. We leave the farming outpost quickly, hoping to get most of the way home before it gets dark.

After we've been driving a little while, Rick looks over at me and says, "Thank you for sticking to the plan. I didn't like that you were the one at risk, but it went well."

"Believe it or not Rick, Negan was the exception. I don't usually take risks, I stick to the plan. You can trust me to stick to our plans in the future. I don't plan on leaving my children orphans in this world."

He looks at me speculatively. "You'll tell me if you don't agree with a plan in the future, not just run off and change it on your own?"

I nod. "I will. I think I can do that now, I was just driven to take Negan out. He had to die at all costs." I glance at him. "That's unusual for me. I don't generally go rogue and I don't see it happening again. Thank you for giving me the chance to prove it to you today, and hopefully you can come to trust my actions in the future."

He stares contemplatively out the windshield and then looks at me. "I believe you. I trust you to follow our plans."

I start looking around and realize that it's getting dark. We aren't as far as I'd hoped we'd get, we are only about halfway home. "It's getting dark," I say.

"We're too far from home still. It'll be too dangerous to go the whole way tonight with just the two of us."

I hate that he's right, but he is. I wanted to get home to the kids tonight. "There's a place we can stay not far from here. We can use the rest of the light to make sure it's still clear."

"You know a place? Where is it?"

I nod, "It's where the kids and I lived when you found us. It isn't far." He agrees and I head toward our old base. Hopefully it's still clear, we locked it up tight when we left but you never know. That's the least of my problems though, he and I can clear it, no problem. I should have listened to Jane, shouldn't have been in such a big hurry. We should have stayed the night at the farming outpost. The bigger problem is that I'm going to be spending the night alone on the road with Rick Grimes.

A/N They can work pretty well together after all, right? But being alone with Rick on the road is making her worried.

Sorry for the delay, it doesn't usually take me a full week to get another chapter up. I ended up taking an unexpected trip out of town for work to help support a go-live and connection was extremely spotty in this town. 

Thanks for reading, I really appreciate you all coming back for more.