He notices it about a year after Natasha joins him in New York. Ever since he had left for Nationals the year prior, she had seemed off. There are more Skype calls with Ivan and she pushes herself more in the gym. Despite asking her often, Natasha never gives any indication that something is wrong.

When they return from the European Championships, though, it's unavoidable.

Natasha had been the one to compete, but Steve had gone with her as they had plans to tour a bit of Europe after the competition. On the final day, however, their plans were promptly upset when Ivan showed up unexpectedly.

Steve wouldn't have noticed the man if Natasha hadn't disappeared after her final routine. They had agreed to meet just outside the locker room so when she didn't show up within a few minutes, Steve began to worry. After an hour of waiting, he finally gave up.

Right as Steve decided to break into the locker room himself, Natasha had appeared with red eyes. Ivan had walked out behind her.

"What—"

"I want to go home," she had interrupted softly.

She didn't meet his eyes and as Ivan passed her, she curled a little closer to Steve. Something inside him had snapped at the motion and he wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

"Sure, let me call a taxi to the hotel—"

"No."

Steve glanced down at her as she swiped a hand under her nose and shook her head.

"Home," she repeated. "New York."

The competition had just finished so technically she was allowed to leave, but Steve had known how she'd been looking forward to travelling through Europe so he had been a bit puzzled.

"What about our trip?" he asked carefully.

"I do not want to stay," she hissed. Her accent had been sharp enough that it made Steve blink in surprise.

After the last year in New York, her accent had become much softer. Even when she got upset, it rarely made an appearance. Instead, she spoke Russian more often. He had almost started to miss her accent, but not enough that he wants to see her upset.

"Alright." After pressing a kiss to her head, he had pulled out his phone to change their flights.

They had left the following morning without a second thought.

About a week later, though, Steve notices the change.

Despite their second Olympics coming up, Natasha stops joining him at the gym as often. Instead, she sleeps late and wakes up with headaches. He tries really hard not to worry, but one day he returns from the gym and finds her collapsed beside the toilet sobbing.

His hands shake as he helps her to her feet and eventually ends up carrying her back to their bed. She groans and Steve tries to make her comfortable, but nothing seems to work. She's in pain no matter how she lays on the bed and Steve can't stop thinking about how he found her.

"You should go to the hospital," he murmurs in Russian. She's curled around him tightly, but her grip is much weaker than he's used to and it's worrisome.

"No," she whimpers. She hides her face in his shoulder. "I'm okay."

The next day, however, she collapses between the bedroom and the kitchen and Steve won't let her argue her way out of going.

The doctors leave him in the waiting room for an endless amount of time. When they finally report back to him, he forgets how to breathe.

"She's going through withdrawal," the doctor explains quietly. "We can't understand some of what she says, but her bloodwork shows signs of abusive steroid use."

Steve tries not to take the doctor's word for it, but when he steps into Natasha's hospital room, she bursts into tears and he knows it's true. She'd been doping.

"I'm sorry," she cries in Russian and she truly does look sorry. "I tried so hard not to but I couldn't—he wouldn't let me stop."

There's only one person she could mean: Ivan.

Steve crosses the room in two steps and drops onto the bed beside her. As gently as he can, he takes her hand in his and brushes her hair back from her face.

"What did he give you?" Steve asks softly. "The doctors can help."

She says something, but Steve doesn't know how to translate it which is both infuriating and heartbreaking. He can't help her.

"I'm so sorry," she repeats.

When she starts crying again, Steve cries with her.

* * * * *

The doctors do more blood work on her and by her second day in the hospital, they think they know what she had been taking. It's only then that Natasha mentions she had been taking several drugs at once, not just the one.

"In that case," the doctor says, "we'll want to keep you here until your blood tests come back clean. If you don't know what it was, we can't know for sure what to watch for."

Even though Olympic tryouts are coming up soon, Steve spends more time with Natasha at the hospital than in the gym. She's still in pain and she often wakes up with crippling headaches, but the doctors are there to make sure that she's safe and it's the best Steve can ask for. He still hates watching it.

"You should go," Natasha tells him. They talk almost exclusively in Russian at this point and Steve's a bit proud of himself for it. "The tryouts are soon."

"It'll be okay if I don't make the team," Steve promises. "I want to be here."

Four weeks into Natasha's recovery, the tryouts start and Steve has to leave.

He's gone for a full week, but he calls her whenever he can and she never has bad news to report. As soon as he learns that he made the team again, he gets on a plane back to New York where he meets Natasha in the hospital. After so many weeks, the doctors are finally willing to send her home.

She'll have to return in a week for more bloodwork and again in a month, but they aren't as worried anymore.

Unfortunately, now that she isn't in the hospital, they have some pressing legal matters. Natasha doesn't have a valid visa and in theory, there's no reason for her to remain in the country now that she's been discharged from the hospital.

"We'll figure it out," Steve promises. He's already started the process anyway. He sort of knew they'd run into this problem eventually and so he'd taken the liberty of filing a visa request.

"You can't be sure," Natasha mumbles, buried under their covers once again. "They could send me back."

"They won't," Steve argues fiercely. "I promise you that they won't."

Two days later, they get a letter saying that Natasha's visa application has been denied and she's being ordered to return to Russia.