Chapter Three

Another party. Another day.

Elsie had been staying for days, and after the bonfire party, Dawn had been avoiding Ben. She didn't like him, and she led him on. Dawn felt terrible about it. It was a drunken moment, yes, but that was definitely no excuse. She kissed him...again and made him believe he had a chance with her when he didn't. It wasn't fair.

She decided that no contact with the boy was the best way forward.

They had gone to another party the previous night, though. One in a club they shouldn't have been able to get into, but nonetheless managed to with the fake ID cards that someone Elsie knew made for them. Although, regardless of that, it may have been the mini dresses. Dawn wasn't sure.

She wasn't entirely sure she looked older for her age. She was almost going to be a legal muggle. She had just missed the cut off for the previous year, turning Eleven on November first. Not even halfway into her last year, she would be a legal adult. Technically, she already was in the wizarding world, though.

She was of age. Allowing her to do magic outside of Hogwarts.

Not like she did, though. She apparated occasionally, but during this summer she wanted as little to do with magic as possible. Understandably so.

She could feel the pounding in her head before she even opened her eyes—painful throbbing behind her eyes and travelling down her forehead. The rumbling in her stomach didn't help either. She thought once that only old people got hangovers. She was dead wrong.

She felt like she couldn't even stand, her body face down on her bed and a groan erupting from her lips. Why did she do this to herself?!

She wasn't quite sure she had an answer for her own question, especially now. Surely no feeling in the world was good enough to feel this shit the next day. Hangovers. The only cure was to suck it up or start drinking again.

Dawn had the habit of doing the latter when she was in Elsie's company. It was a surprise that Elsie was a bad influence. Dawn had figured that out during their summer together, but It really did come out of nowhere for Dawn. Elsie was the sweet and innocent Hufflepuff once upon a time, and Dawn wondered if she would go back to that when they went back to school.

She didn't know. She wasn't even sure Elsie would still hang out with her; Elsie had her own Hufflepuff friends at Hogwarts. They were friends, yes, but not the closest of close. They spoke in some classes and at dinner. That was the definition of close at Hogwarts, if you weren't best friends, of course.

"My head," Elsie groaned. She had somehow fallen asleep on a pile of blankets on the floor. It seemed as though that was the most comfortable place for the girl when she was previously drunk and decided that's where she would sleep. Dawn hadn't complained though, in fact, she was glad to have the bed to herself.

"What are we doing today?" asked Dawn quietly. She was trying to keep all talking to a minimal if that was possible. She could have easily slept all day. Her alarm clock indicated two in the afternoon, and although she was a little annoyed with herself for sleeping so late, she couldn't say she was surprised.

It was like the two girls were stuck in a loop of constant bad decisions. They would have to go get Elsie's car soon, but Dawn was sure when they got back to her village, they'd find someplace to go and get drunk again. It was the only thing to numb her mind.

Her only thought of peace.

"I think," Elsie said, though it sounds much like a low grunt, "we should get my car and then get drunk."

"Oh," Dawn gasped, rolling over so much she almost fell off the bed, "how original. Why didn't I think of that!"

"It's good," said Elsie, a mumble, "to drink. Takes away shit."

Dawn knew that Elsie had her own stuff to deal with. She could see it very clearly in the way Elsie acted. She was overly optimistic. She was loud and bubbly and cheerful. She was the life and soul of the party, but there were times Dawn remembered as clear as day.

The times she would say things, and Dawn wouldn't know what she meant. When she would burst into tears at the toilet seat, vomiting her guts. Crying and crying. She would complain how much she missed her, her eyes welling with so many tears she could hardly see out of them.

Dawn wouldn't say anything to her either. It wasn't her place to know the pain that Elsie was trying to hide. It was in both of their interests to hide the pain and trauma they felt, so they would hide it together. That was it.

Dawn wondered if the true Elsie was the one lying on her floor. If the rebellious Elsie was the one that painted a true reflection of the girl of if it was a numb shell of a once happy human being who was now just always in a constant state of pretending.

Again, Dawn never would ask. She had the thoughts swirling in her mind, and when she looked over – Elsie had fallen back asleep. She took that as her cue to do the same.

-

A loud laugh exited the drunk girl's mouth, stumbling up the cobbled hill of the town. They were near Dawn's village, just in the nearest city, that was only half an hour away. The city nightlife was extravagant at times, especially when it was busy and bustling with others just like them.

The fake ID's they had with them at all times were surprisingly realistic, and they made it much easier for the girls to get whatever they wanted. Of course, all bad decisions start with alcohol. It just so happened that most of the time, alcohol was the wrong decision.

Not this time, though.

In fact, this time, it was probably the worst decision both girls would ever make. They had stumbled in, straightening themselves up and pretending to be sober. They had muggle money, quite a bit of it that they had saved for a rainy day.

Again, their ID's proved somewhat useful.

"I want this," said Dawn. She rummaged into her bag and brought out a small doodle. It was so simple. A heart. The initials J + D in the middle and an arrow through it. She always laughed at it when she saw it. Jasper had a habit of doodling on the letters he wrote to her. This was one of them.

"Alright, then." She handed over her ID again when asked, and Dawn watched him rake his eyes over it. She was sure he didn't believe her, but he simply gave it back to her and gestured for her to sit in the chair.

"Remember," said the man, "a tattoo is for life."

She nodded grinning. A tattoo. Yes.

Elsie had pointed out the small parlour as they were walking by and with a loud gasp, exclaimed that they should both get tattoos. Dawn didn't know what she could possibly get, but when she remembered the letter tucked in her bag, she knew that she needed to get it.

Jasper would be a forever part of her, and she thought maybe that would be a good thing. Her mind was too foggy to care about anything, and she could hear Elsie chatting aimlessly to the woman who did her tattoo. They seemed to be having a pleasant conversation.

Dawn just lay there.

She was getting it on her arm. Just above her elbow so she could always see it. It would remind her of Jasper always, and that seemed perfect for drunk her. She was sure sober her would feel the same way, after the initial freak out of course.

"You're all done," said the man after a long moment of her staring at the ceiling, "if you want to take a look, I'll get you ringed up."

She nodded silently. A small smile in the artist's direction and she stood up, stumbling slightly. It was perfect. She knew instantly, drunk or sober that she didn't regret it. She loved it. It was the perfect memorial for a perfect boy, and she would look at it every day just to remind herself of him.

It looked like he did it. Like he took the gun and drew it on her own skin and for that she started to tear up. She felt happy.

She finally had a piece of him.

J + D forever.