Thank you for being patient with me despite my hectic irl schedule lol. I suppose my most consistent update schedule is every 2 months/8-9 weeks oof.

I promise, the outline of this story is already complete, as I already have a clear direction of how this will end before I begun writing. I just keep writing so many words and I have to translate them into english haha;;

That said, I want to give a big shoutout to my naive past self who first thought that this fic will only have 10 chapters. I was an ARROGANT FOOL! AN IDIOT! A CLOWN WITH THESE ADDITIONAL CHAPTERS FOLLOWING ME OUT OF A CLOWN CAR! I DIDN'T HAVE TO LIE TO MYSELF LIKE THAT!!

Anyway, enjoy lmao

~*~*~

Anger is a jarring feeling.

It's an emotion that gives you pause, its intensity so sharp and sudden that you can practically feel it pierce through your rationale with senbon-like precision. Being angry is familiar, you once thought cursorily with wry humor, like coming home only for your face to meet the wooden surface of a baseball bat.

However, once you identify the dangerous feeling, you don't hesitate in reigning it in. Your face learns to instinctively smooth out any creases that could hint at your raging mind, your body language following suit.

Eventually, you no longer gave your anger much thought. You didn't allow yourself to.

(Control your reaction, don't make a sound, hunch your shoulders, bow your head, or else–)

In this life, anger's still a familiar feeling, yes, but it's... strange. Different.

Before, it used to be white and icy, like a contained blizzard that eventually ebbs and fades, never having the chance to surface beyond your thoughts. Now...

Your fury (you no longer think it's just anger) is hot and fiery, its heat lingering longer than Before, as if it's unaccustomed to your usual suppression and resignation; even more so now that you've allowed yourself to openly express it through opportunities of violence that were non-existent from Before.

It doesn't go away.

This rage fights for a place at the forefront of your mind, making you irrational yet focused, with a vision tinted in red that reflects the fire within you that burns and scorches, and threatens to swallow you whole–

It's unsettling.

(You've always been weak to fire.)

Your reactions are one of the very few things you can control, and to potentially lose that control now of all times is...

You can't afford to be illogical here; to falter and make one bad call that would heavily cost you. Not when you're against someone smart, cautious, paranoid, afraid– not when you're against Shimura Danzo.

Against someone like yourself.

(Cowards.)

Both of you; hardened and ruthless and have something to protect.

It's just unfortunate for the ROOT leader that knowledge is power, and you happen to be more powerful in that regard.

"I only have enough to distract them," Shisui says solemnly beside you. From the periphery of your vision, you notice him reach out for your hand but aborts the gesture before he could make contact.

"I know," you say, not sparing him a glance as you rewrap the bandages around the warm seal on your wrist.

"The next time you see me will be the last time."

You emptily smile.

"I know."

~*~*~

Years of preparation and foreknowledge naturally had a hand in you considering every possible scenario of how you would go about infiltrating ROOT's base.

You've studied ROOT's guard rotations, your owls keeping watch of their patrols from a distance. You've poked and tested at their external security in inconsistent and long intervals, letting them think that it was just the Hokage's ANBU agents occasionally passing by with their bases near each other.

You're not too worried that Danzo would find them suspicious; ROOT has yet to be illegal after all.

Both of you are confident that Hiruzen is much more lenient of his old friend at this time.

So, you continue to keep moving. Watch. Listen. Let your chakra observe.

You've done this for years.

That's why you know that the sight of Shisui alone would only have Danzo send out a surveillance team instead of a pursuit, as their protocol for 'suspicious sighting'. Your transformed shadow clone wouldn't be enough; they need Shisui's chakra verified by one of their very few sensors.

So, you gave them exactly that.

Their best sensor chased Shisui like a persistent hunter dog eager to please its master, leading his squad away from the base. You hope that the set traps would further stall them.

Of course, you know that Danzo didn't send out his whole army, that he still has guards watching over his person, but it's fine.

It's manageable enough as long as Yamanaka Fu and Aburame Torune are out of the picture.

Now, as for the other Aburame...

~*~*~

Hmm... His insects' screams are not as loud as I first thought, you muse to yourself, watching with detached interest as Amaterasu's flames devour Aburame Yoji's body and hive whole. Your lotus-shaped Mangekyou sharingan aches, but you persist it to immortalize the memory, your face no longer cringing from the foul odor of burning flesh.

For once, the smell is pleasant.

You continue on to the location of Danzo's chakra signature, not bothering to look back at the body behind you that has yet to fully turn into ashes.

An owl hoots, and a small smile makes its way to your lips.

~*~*~

Danzo senses you before he sees you.

The moment you're within range, he abandons his cane and unsheathes a kunai, jumping back. He only managed to get a good look at you once he landed a considerable distance away.

In your place, stands his former recruit.

"Tenzo?" He utters out disbelievingly, and you grin beneath your chosen transformation.

"Try again," you say, as you make eye contact. "Amatsumikaboshi."

You wince as blood trickles down your left eye, your hand already reaching to wipe the red trail away.

Ah, you think as you rapidly blink, testing your eyesight, I think I might need glasses again.

With an instinctive mold of your chakra, you release your transformation jutsu, your recognizable white hair and attire now visible along with your ANBU uniform.

Calmly, you walk towards Danzo's unmoving figure, his fighting stance unchanging as if time had made him still.

Like a picture, you comment to yourself, and you suppose it makes sense, as they were all just moving pictures to you, once upon a time. It's only right that you have the power to pause or play them at will.

Or perhaps it's fate's way of further emphasizing you as Itachi's other half; where he has the ability to imprison his victims in their own minds, you have the ability to imprison them in their own bodies.

How poetic.

"Sorry for the disguise," you nonchalantly apologize, once you're in front of ROOT's leader. You resist the urge to slash his throat on the spot. "You'd know not to look me in the eyes, otherwise."

Your chakra stretches and detects no nearing enemies yet; the guards you knocked out are still unconscious. Danzo really shouldn't have his final examination involve eliminating half of his trained forces.

"I'll play your game and massacre the clan," you continue, knowing that while Danzo can't respond, he can most certainly hear you. He has no other option but to listen. "Only because there are bigger factors at play– bigger than Konoha. Just know my nonexistent love for the village is not one of them. However, you'd have to do something for me in exchange."

Danzo can only do nothing but listen to your demands and the threats you follow up if he were to even attempt to go behind your back. Your impositions on him are all relatively simple and harmless– all he has to do is check himself and not test you.

It's basically: fuck around, and not exactly 'find out' because he knows you'll orchestrate Konoha's destruction. But honestly...

You can list to Danzo your step by step plan on how to annihilate the village, tell him you have contact with parties that are interested in erasing Konoha from the map, give him your details on Konoha's key players and your strategies on how to take as many of them down with you as possible. But you won't follow through with any of your threats because–

(Kotoama–)

– you don't think it would be gratifying enough on your part to put in that much effort.

Though, Danzo doesn't need to know that.

"Now that we're clear," you dig into your pockets, pulling out a black marker then uncapping it. You mischievously grin. "Hold still."

With efficient and fast strokes of your marker, you give his face a bunch of doodles– a dick here, a dick there, a dick-shaped cat for variety, and for your finishing touch, Hitler's mustache.

"Yeah, yeah, I know, it's immature and childish," you lightly laugh, but your red eyes do not reflect your hilarity. "Which brings me to your actual retribution..."

Drawing out a kunai, you swiftly yet carefully cut away Danzo's eye bandages, revealing Shisui's Mangekyou blankly staring back at you. Normally, you'd be wary of a dangerous dojutsu on a dangerous man, but your still-stinging eyes reassure you that just like his body, his chakra is just as immobile.

Not for long, though, you think disdainfully. Alas, there's no helping it, especially when you're now receiving the memories of your two recently popped shadow clones.

"Yoink!" With a quick plunge of your fingers in his eye socket, your jutsu on Danzo breaks. He can only instinctively pull away from the pain, as you jump away in case of any retaliation, the eye held safely within your hand's firm but gentle grasp. Your chakra hums around it.

Curled fingers covering his bleeding cavity, Danzo glares at you, his posture slumped but still somehow imposing... even with all the dicks on his face.

"Having a plucked eye isn't a pleasant feeling, is it?" You mock him, nonchalantly smiling as if it's just a friendly tease.

"Your arrogance has finally made you insane," he spits, grimacing over his injury, "to have you openly commit treason in my headquarters!"

"Maah, don't worry about that," you brazenly dismiss with an airy wave of your free hand. "The massacre will happen tonight. Whether I attack you now or never, I'd still be labeled as a traitor."

Then, you grin all-teeth, sharingan spinning threateningly, and he makes the good decision to not make eye contact this time. You warn him, "Just remember the deal."

You body flicker away.

Even from afar, you can sense Danzo's chakra frantically signaling for his soldiers.

Now, as for the clan...

~*~*~

Had it been up to you, you would've delayed the massacre by a few more months, but you know that Itachi already scheduled the clan's demise tonight. You even know that he plans to target you first, as you're his potentially biggest obstacle. Once you're gone, the rest will come easy.

Obito told you so.

That's why, earlier today, you're not surprised when Itachi asked you to meet him in an isolated clearing at sunset.

Your head tilts up to look at the unobstructed full moon, your mood unusually serene despite the upcoming tragedy.

It's long past sunset.

"You're two hours late," Itachi says, as soon as he spots you entering the agreed meeting place. You removed your ANBU uniform beforehand.

"You know how Kakashi-taichou's habits rubbed off on me," you say cheerily, "that's why you still waited, after all."

Itachi sighs, a part exasperated, a part fond, and a part... unreadable. You ignore it for now, and instead make a show of critically looking at his attire.

"Ehh? Are you seriously wearing your jounin vest and forehead protector on your day off?" You ask incredulously, before teasingly scoffing, "cringe."

At your verbal observation, Itachi expertly blanks his face, a stark contrast to the younger boy who once attempted the same as he stood by your hospital bed a long time ago. You suppose that by pointing out his uniform, he'll inevitably have to confront why you're both here for tonight.

"Let me guess," you continue talking before Itachi could form a word from his half-opened mouth, "Danzo talked to you at some point and convinced you to murder the clan to keep the peace."

At this, his stoic expression falters.

"You're not even under his direct command," you sigh, half-disappointed, half-resigned. "So I'm guessing he had other ways to persuade you into doing... this."

"I'm sorry," Itachi says, utterly sincere and regretful, as he draws out a kunai. "Please don't make this more difficult than it needs to be."

Oh, right, he doesn't have his Mangekyou, you belatedly realize.

"Can you even kill me?" You're genuinely curious, even more so when your twin's face shutters between indecision and resolve. The kunai glints at his side.

This Itachi is a lot less burdened, a bit less tragic. If you're pushing it, maybe even a bit happier from the character you know from Before. With hands stained but not soaked, with a conscience cloudy but not heavy, with a heart fissured but not broken. Uninfluenced by the horrific, shameful shadows of ANBU. This Itachi doesn't know the full extent of Konoha's corruption, didn't even witness his best friend's death.

(You want to think you did something fully right for once.)

"C'mon," you huff wryly with a taunting grin, as you near your twin until you're a few inches away. "I know I've pissed you off dozens of times to have you at least contain a smidge of killing intent for me."

At this, Itachi swipes his armed hand, and you don't move.

The blade makes contact with your throat.

It doesn't cut skin; it tells you everything.

"Maah, I don't even know what I did for you to value me this much," you say, the words callous but your voice gentle.

This Itachi is...

"You're my brother," Itachi says steadily, eyes glassy, as if that simple fact justifies his hesitation, his weakness.

My Itachi is softer, you lament to yourself, and you don't drop your smile.

Still, it would seem that no matter the changes you've made, Itachi is still incapable of asking for help.

(It's fine. It's not like you're capable of that either.)

"And, that's it?" Despite intending it as a question, your utterance comes off as a sure statement.

Itachi bows his head and quietly says, "of course not."

You honestly don't know how he'd go about killing you if he lacks the will to do so. You wonder if he's hoping that you'd take pity and just kill yourself for him.

(Perhaps, the reason why you're his biggest obstacle isn't because of your fighting prowess.)

Fondly rolling your eyes, you lightly nudge away his hand that's straining to have the kunai cut your throat, before wrapping your arms around him in a soft embrace. Itachi stiffens, his hand holding the kunai shaking but eventually lowering to his side, as he silently accepts your physical affection. You feel his head lean on your shoulder.

Hah, I'm taller, you internally muse to yourself, trying to ignore your mind's pervasive question of when was the last time you hugged your twin brother like this.

"I don't know what else to do..." Itachi confides to you, as your right hand raises to caress the back of his neck.

Like all those years ago–when he was younger, stressed and afraid like he is now– you tell him,

"Trust me."

And like a stupid motherfucker he still is, Itachi trusts you.

Suddenly, your grip on his neck tightens, and before he could even react, your hand on his nape sears and brands, and your chakra commands his to sever–

Itachi jolts before stilling as he slumps onto you, similar to a lifeless puppet.

"Sorry," you quietly say, as you carefully lay his unconscious body on the ground.

~*~*~

In your house's dining room, you invite Fugaku and Mother for tea.

You don't know which tipped them off that something was wrong. It could be your uncharacteristically subdued behavior; it could be that neither Sasuke or Itachi are home yet at this hour; it could even be the fact that you abruptly prepared them tea.

Or maybe they always knew something was wrong from the very moment you were born.

Regardless, you can always count on Fugaku to address it.

"Is there something you wish to tell us?" He asks, and you contemplate on what you'd exactly tell him as you nurse your cup of tea.

Wanting to stall a bit, you thoughtlessly say with a smile, "I'm gay."

Fugaku stares at you blankly, as Mother hides the quirk of her lips with her cup.

"... I figured as much," he remarks good-naturedly with a sigh, then takes a sophisticated sip of his tea.

Because you're a shithead, this is when you frankly tell him, "Itachi was assigned with a mission to eliminate the entire clan with Sasuke as the only exception."

This time, there is no slaughter happening outside to mentally prepare them.

Fugaku inhales and swallows wrong, choking on his beverage. As for Mother, her face is no longer readable; you try to curb the passing thought of how her expression heavily resembles Itachi's.

Eventually, Fugaku recovers from his coughing fit, but he doesn't berate you from how you revealed the news. Instead, he eyes the ANBU armor you're currently wearing, probably seeing it in a new light.

What once was the clan's pride and accomplishment is now their shame and demise.

"I see you chose their side," he says neutrally, and you had to clarify.

"I'm not here to help Itachi," you correct him. "I'm here to replace him."

This is not for Konoha, you don't say, but they understand anyway. They know the fate that awaits a kinslayer, and they know it's not what you'd want for Itachi.

You let them stew on the information you've given them, the silence thick and vaguely suffocating. Days, months and years before this night, you've already mentally pictured the multiple ways they could react, the words they could say. You've steeled yourself for the worst, even when you knew they'd accept this all with a grace befitting a noble family.

But still, you dread when they continue to say nothing.

You want them to say something, anything, just to get this over with.

"Are you disappointed?" You ask with a smirk, your tone coming off as light and teasing, but all three of you are aware of the actual emotion underneath it. "Ashamed of me being your son?"

"No," Fugaku answers, and you don't know how to interpret Mother's silence. She either has the same lie as her husband or she doesn't know what to tell you; you can't decide which is worse.

"Heh, I'm not buying that," you say, unconvinced. "I'm not as soft as you think, old man."

"Right... You've always been a hard-headed child," he huffs with dry humor, and you note that it's tinged with fondness.

"I prefer the term 'head-strong'," you sarcastically remark. Much to your surprise, Fugaku warmly smiles at this– it's the softest look you've ever seen on his face.

"But you always did care the most," he continues, unimpeded by your interruption. "That's why I'm confident that you will take care of your brothers even without me telling you to do so."

You honestly don't know how to react to your parent being honest with you like this, his chakra in sync with his expression for once.

This is what not hugging your child does to a motherfucker, you wryly joke to yourself.

"I'm sorry that you're forced to make this decision. No apology can make up for the choices I've made that led to this," Fugaku apologizes, even when it's all out of his control. "I'm aware of what joining ANBU has done to you. I'm aware of the sacrifices you've made to protect Itachi from the clan's hubris; the things you've done to keep this family from drifting apart, even if only for your brothers' sakes."

Ah, was my subtlety really that bad?, you let your thoughts drift, distracting yourself from the uncomfortable but familiar feeling of–

"I know my pride for you won't mean much to you," Fugaku looks at you, and to see it so uncharacteristically open with warmth and affection is such a slap to the face. "So instead, I'll tell you this: I love you, Kama. You and your brothers."

You openly stare at Father, trying, hoping to detect any microexpression on his face and his chakra for signs of deceit. When you find none...

Oh, that's not fair, you think with wide eyes, stunned, as you feel a tear sliding down your cheek. That's not fair, at all.

(You truly are a walking contradiction to be so unfortunately fortunate.)

You curb down an instinctive flinch when Mother reaches over the table to wipe your stray tear away.

"And I feel the same," she agrees with Father, because of course she would.

You don't know what to say.

But you think you know what Mother wants you to do, when her hand on the side of your face slides down to your shoulder, then grabs your arm, slightly tugging you to her and Father's direction. You think you can give them what Mother wordlessly asks of you.

So, you stand from your seat and walk around the table, placing yourself between them.

Kneeling, you wrap your arms around their necks and engulf them in a hug that was long overdue.

As expected of Father, he stiffens before warming up to your affection, and you tamp down the urge to point out and laugh at how Itachi seemed to have inherited that instinctive response from him. On the other hand, Mother relishes the shared love, much like how Sasuke thrives in it.

They must be regretting not being able to hug their children as often. You don't think either Itachi or Sasuke experienced having a three way hug from Mother and Father like this.

There's no doubt about it now, you muse to yourself with a playful grin. This is proof that I'm their favorite child.

You hope you'd end up in the Pure Lands to brag about it.

"Thank you for everything," you say, as Mother's arms tighten around you.

"I'm sorry for not being able to save you either," Mother whispers to you, and you remember her white chrysanthemums, her Mangekyou, and her confessions of regrets with Kushina and her son.

"Don't be. I didn't let you," you assure her, and it's not what she wanted to hear.

With one last squeeze, you place your hands on the back of their necks, and you know your parents are prepared for what comes next.

"Love you."

With a quick, painless pierce of your chakra scalpels on their necks, Mother and Father exhale their last breaths.

The owls outside hoot twice.

~*~*~

Sometimes, not everything goes according to plan; not everything is within your control. Hiccups can happen, sabotages are a thing, plans can fail. Just because you have a mental map of what you want to happen doesn't mean it's assured to happen.

(A chance or a guarantee?)

It's the reason why you're not a big risk taker.

Your reason comes with a justification in the form of Itachi running at a civilian's pace, approaching you the moment you step down from your house's engawa.

He stops a cautious distance away from you.

What? You stare at him with furrowed brows. He's not supposed to be here yet. How–

A crow caws as it flies overhead, and your eyes hone on your twin's bleeding, nipped earlobe.

Perched by the powerlines, the owls screech as if laughing.

Those little shits, you sneer, darkly glancing at your summons, before masking your expression with your signature smile as you look back at your twin brother.

"Was I not clear that I'm sparing your life when I left you in that clearing?" You ask him, before demanding him to, "Leave the compound, while you still can. I'm not above killing you if I have to."

The streets are silent and empty; all members have already retired to their homes a long while ago, just after their evening shrine meeting. No Uchiha is outside on a village mission either. You can see why Itachi would choose to eliminate the clan tonight.

"If one of us is staying with Sasuke, it should be you," Itachi says determinedly, and you internally scoff.

It would seem that martyrdom really runs in the Uchiha veins.

But joke's on this self-sacrificing idiot, because I'm a bigger self-sacrificing idiot.

"You don't get it, do you? I'm not doing this for you," you tell him, still smiling. "I personally want to massacre the clan, and it's just convenient that Konoha wants the Uchiha gone too."

At this, Itachi's eyes widen, his lips pursing in indecision on whether or not to call out your lie. You decide for him when you continue talking, your voice taking a grim tone.

"Wanna know how Shisui really died?" Slowly, you walk towards him. "The Uchiha elders discovered that I'm a spy for Konoha, that I've been telling the Hokage of their plans for the coup. Basically, I'm a traitor and they wanted to get rid of me before I could sabotage the clan further. Guess how they wanted it done."

You pause a few feet away from him, and your brother contemptuously reacts when he reaches an abhorrent conclusion.

"No, the elders wouldn't–" Itachi tries, but he obviously doubts.

"They pressured– ordered– Shisui to assassinate me, then stage my death as a suicide. It won't be a problem for the KMPF to cover it up," your smile widens, all-teeth, and Itachi apprehensively takes a few steps back. "But we both know Shisui. He couldn't do it; he told me everything. So, he chose to fail his mission and killed himself– chose to side with neither the village or the clan. You can already imagine how his death looked like to the elders.

"That is how the rumors of me being his killer started," you say lowly in resentment, and much to Itachi's horror, your eyes transform in its Mangekyou pattern. You smile with crinkling eyes and no teeth. "I had to watch him die, y'know?"

Disbelief, grief and anger war on his face, but you no longer want to prolong this. Obito might get impatient.

"We both know you'll lose if you choose to fight me after what I've done to your chakra," you tell him, your expression now smug. "Run or I kill you and Sasuke is left all alone."

You both know that you never gave yourself an option to stay.

When Itachi has yet to move, you throw a warning kunai to the side of his neck, creating a superficial wound. Still, it bleeds and Itachi fully understands.

Your smile drops into a scowl, as your Mangekyou spins dangerously, giving your final warning.

"I said: run, Itachi."

And, Itachi turns and runs.

You follow after him, choosing to travel on the rooftops, watching his movements in case he needlessly alerts anyone. Maybe Itachi feels genuinely threatened by your chase, maybe it's just his shinobi instincts flaring up when he's being chased; regardless, he runs faster.

Somehow, seeing him not perform any shinobi maneuvers made him seem more like the thirteen-year-old boy you know him to be.

It doesn't take you long to reach the main gate where two guards are surprised to see Itachi sprinting towards them, with you seemingly pursuing after him. Forming a disarming smile, you pull out two kunai, aiming for each of the guards' necks.

They react too late.

Itachi flinches when your throw lands true, as both guards (Takeo and Hitoshi) gurgle in their own blood, barely making any noise, before dropping to the ground.

Your brother passes through the gates and continues on a considerable distance away, but stops when you don't take a step outside the border of the clan compound.

He cautiously watches you from outside, part-curious, and stupidly enough, part-worried.

"If I were you, I'd take a couple more steps back," you tell him, as your hands shape into the Ram seal. Your thoughts briefly wander on what your other shadow clone with Sasuke is up to. There's no doubt that your little brother will hear of the commotion at your secret place.

Itachi, being the irritating genius that he is, seems to have deduced what you're up to just from your suggestion and your formed hand seal alone, his face crumpling into the most vulnerable expression you've ever seen on an Uchiha.

"Be wary of Danzo," is all you say, smiling, as your chakra flares and your seals respond, and you can clearly hear Itachi's horror when his voice cracks, shouting, calling out for–

"Nii-san!"

Then the whole Uchiha Compound explodes within the colors of fire.

~*~*~

OMAKE: The Face Becomes A Mirror Of The Soul

Shisui knew of Kama before he even had the chance to meet him.

Everyone in the clan has heard of the weird heir and the prodigy spare; of Uchiha Kama and Uchiha Itachi. A lot of comparisons were made between the twins, with praises following Itachi's name, and critiques coming after Kama's.

Onikko, Shisui often heard about the latter, but he tried to reserve judgment as he has yet to meet the clan heir.

Still, the impression sunk.

~*~*~

Shisui was seven when he first met Itachi.

The spare was exactly as the rumors told him to be: polite, soft-spoken, and most of all, talented.

With the hearsays being this accurate about Itachi, Shisui worried about meeting Kama, but it didn't take long for him to figure out that Itachi held Kama in high regard, akin to respect. Maybe even some kind of hero-worship...?

Shisui didn't know; he just knew that Itachi was always quick to defend Kama whenever Shisui brought up any unpleasant gossips about him.

"Why do you look up to your twin brother?" Shisui asked one day in their daily spars, curious.

"He told me what I needed to hear," Itachi vaguely answered, before advising him to, "disregard the rumors. He's not what he presents himself to be."

Shisui kept what the five-year-old told him in mind.

After all, as a shinobi, he's familiar with the concept of deception.

If the infamous clan heir managed to deceive the whole clan, to have them easily disregard him, then Shisui can't wait to meet the apparent secret genius that Itachi implied his brother to be.

~*~*~

The first time Shisui saw Kama, he did a double take on his appearance and immediately thought: Onikko.

Kama really didn't look like his parents.

Gray eyes, white hair, and an eerie smile to boot. Other than his fair skin, Kama didn't resemble any of the main family. He didn't even bother to part his hair in the middle like them, even choosing to alienate himself further by wearing all-white.

He honestly looked more like a Hatake.

Still, Kama's appearance was one thing, but his eccentricities were another. Shisui has heard of ridiculous stories involving the clan heir; like the time Kama ate soap and pretended to have rabies just to avoid meeting with the clan elders.

He's heard of his devil-may-care attitude, his rebellious personality, and his overall cheeky disobedience.

Itachi's advice echoed from the back of his mind, and Shisui reminded himself to give Kama a chance.

Besides, Shisui was curious about what Itachi saw in his older brother.

~*~*~

Shisui met Kama on a summer afternoon by the clan lake's pier, and...

Wow, he's really rude, he can't help but think, but laughed anyway when Kama attempted to dismiss him with a middle finger.

Shisui didn't really expect to figure out Kama's mystery on their first day meeting each other, but he internally grimaced when he realized that he had to put up with the younger boy's constant disrespect if he wanted to solve the puzzle that was Kama's genius.

Curiosity got the hold of him anyway, and Shisui believed he could endure.

So, Shisui pretended to like Kama.

He's good at playing pretend.

~*~*~

Okay, Shisui concluded that Kama was partially insane.

Or maybe he just has a unique sense of humor.

He's just so... weird, blurting out random words and references Shisui never really understood, but Kama somehow found hilarious. Regardless, Shisui liked to think that he somewhat got Kama's character; or at least of what facade Kama was trying to fabricate.

At first impression, he saw Kama as his fellow mirror with fake smiles, harmless appearances, and seemingly shallow personalities. This was easily corrected, because Kama was not like Shisui.

For one thing, Kama lacked tact and can be brutally honest; he's not afraid of the repercussions or confrontations that follow for speaking his mind.

So, Shisui decided that the more accurate comparison would be that Kama was like glass– transparent; only sometimes opaque with reflections visible at certain angles, reflecting what the observer wants to see.

Shisui's curiosity demanded a closer look.

The longer Shisui watched him, the more he realized that the illusion of a perfect, clear glass Kama made for himself was actually a fractured shard. Uneven, sharp and dangerous if touched without caution.

Still, Shisui was willing to hold onto him– not too tight or clingy to bleed suspicion within Kama to question his ulterior motives, and not too loose or aloof to let Kama's developing trust in him to carelessly fall and shatter.

(Maybe Kama's sharp front was protecting something brittle.)

So, Shisui was willing to be vulnerable and took a gamble.

"I have the Mangekyou Sharingan."

Much to his relief, while Kama was not nice, Shisui learned that Kama can be kind when he comforted him in his own way.

(Slowly, reluctantly, curiosity was no longer the only thing tying Shisui to Kama.)

~*~*~

With the context of Kama secretly being as equally gifted as Itachi, Shisui believed Kama had a plan for everything, especially with how he seemed so deliberate with everything he does.

This was why he knew Kama set himself up to be disinherited, just to place Itachi as the new clan heir.

He could see how it negatively affected his best friend, the pressure of expectations further building up on his still-small shoulders, when it should've been the older brother's burden.

Shisui disliked Kama again.

Despite that, he kept his promise and told no one of Kama's hidden talents.

~*~*~

Shisui saw how Kama's face subtly softened whenever he interacted with his brothers. His smile is less stiff, his eyes less forcefully crinkled.

It's not the same, but it's a look similar to what Itachi wears whenever he's with his brothers.

He wondered if anybody else noticed.

Shisui reevaluated his opinions on Kama again.

~*~*~

Kama's performance improved leaps and bounds in the academy, and suddenly, he graduated in less than a year.

It contradicted everything Shisui knew of his intentions, and grew mixed feelings again.

Was he trying to regain his heirship? Boast? Prove something? What was he trying to do?

Unless he's willing to outright ask Kama, Shisui can only continue to observe. However, he decided to take a new angle. A different approach.

He stopped actively scrutinizing Kama's every move; stopped his constant need to connect the dots on Kama's intentions.

Instead, he blindly trusted Itachi's opinion on Kama, and just believed that Kama had a good reason for everything. Right or wrong, well-intended or misguided, Kama was just trying to do what he thought was best for his brothers.

With the look of adoration that betrayed Kama's aloof front whenever Sasuke or Itachi was around, Shisui found it's not that unbelievable.

(He tried to find any justification for the fondness he unexpectedly felt for the boy he eventually thought of as a friend.)

~*~*~

Kama has chronic nightmares.

Shisui helped him with a solution he discovered back when he was still seven years old and grieving.

(Dependency was an inevitability, and it took a while for Shisui to properly recover alone.)

~*~*~

Kama was apparently quick to place himself in danger with how he didn't hesitate to save his teammate, Shisui discovered.

He's not entirely surprised that Kama was not selfish.

Self-sacrificial.

For a reason he can't quite place, while that word described Kama, it didn't perfectly fit him.

(Years later, Shisui tried devoted, and suddenly, Kama made sense.)

~*~*~

Kama's debut as a chuunin came in the form of a giant inferno that's performed by a combination of two different elemental jutsus– the Grand Fireball and the Gale Palm. Because of course he would display the flashiest jutsu that's also uniquely his.

Just like that, Kama's potential was known throughout the whole village.

Shisui wondered why Kama never used that technique again.

(He didn't wonder why Kama chose not to reveal his already awakened sharingan.)

~*~*~

ANBU recruited Kama, and Kama alone.

Shisui can see that Itachi was content with just being jounin.

~*~*~

One day, Shisui decided to just be upfront with Kama, and finally asked him why he kept his skills a secret, why he made Itachi heir, why he suddenly revealed his prodigy status afterwards, and why he joined ANBU.

"What is it you're trying to accomplish, really?"

"Between me and Itachi, one of us was always meant to end up in ANBU," Kama answered him. "Just had to be sure that it's not the heir."

With Kama's simple answer, it gave Shisui the context he was missing; it made him understand and he laughed in disbelief.

Kama knew about the village-clan tension, even before the clan did anything about it; he knew the possibilities it could lead to and covered every base. Somehow, he knew that he and Itachi would be involved in ANBU, and prepared a plan to prevent Itachi from entering it. So, he schemed and gave his younger brother the title of heir, to validate Itachi's rejection towards ANBU's invitation.

Kama was already several steps ahead before the game had even started.

Then the other puzzle pieces fit, Kama's lies fell apart, and Shisui knew an entirely different person– a well-meaning, good person.

The casual disregard, the malicious whispers, the criticisms; Kama endured because it was all for Itachi and Sasuke. It was always for them.

Shisui looked at the extent Kama was willing to go through to protect his brothers, and thought, what would it be like to have someone devote their entire being to you?

He looked at Kama and thought that, maybe, Kama could let him know.

Just like that, he fell in love.

~*~*~

Shisui confessed, and Kama gave him a chance.

Kama became a lot easier to read afterwards, and Shisui liked to think he knew him better than before.

Kama was a romantic, unhesitant with his physical affection, did not shy away from giving any to Shisui– from hand-holding, to embraces and cheek kisses.

It's unusual as they were raised in a conservative culture, to the point Kama's love may seem exaggerated, but Shisui felt everything was real with him.

Like the Uchiha he was, he fell deeper.

~*~*~

Shisui was not blind to Kama's obsessive tendencies. He's aware of current village politics, the worsening village-clan tension; that it wouldn't be above Kama to blame the village if something were to go wrong.

Shisui will not delude himself into thinking that the clan can win against the village, and he knew that if anything happened to Kama's brothers, it will break him.

Briefly, he mulled over the hypothetical of if he'd ever have to choose between Kama and Konoha. It didn't take long for him to reach a conclusion; the answer was obvious.

This is just a precaution, Shisui thought to himself, as Kama peacefully slept beside him, trusted Shisui to keep him safe.

With an aching heart and a bleeding eye, the pattern of Kotoamatsukami burned Shisui's right eye, leaving a single trail of blood cascading down his cheek.

He's quick to wipe the evidence of his used Mangekyou away.

I just need a guarantee.

(His Mangekyou's resulting cooldown was surprisingly short.)

~*~*~

Kama started telling Shisui of his dreams, his nightmares.

He told stories about a sick girl– a dying sister, who easily loved a lot of things and still loved life despite the cards it dealt her with. Kama said she reminded him too much of his brothers.

~*~*~

A life of a shinobi is too short, with thirty being the average life expectancy, and fifteen being already considered middle-aged. It's an ugly truth, but Shisui was optimistic to live beyond his thirties.

So when he contemplated his future, he decided he wanted Kama in it.

"I wanna marry him someday," Shisui confided to Sparrow– Hayate– one night, when the casual topic of their futures was discussed over the campfire.

"Y'know, I was about your age when I thought of someone like that too," Hayate told him, and in awe, Shisui asked,

"Are they still it to you?"

Hayate smiled fondly.

"Yeah, she's still it for me."

(Shisui will never age past fifteen.)

~*~*~

Shisui knew that change wasn't always big; it didn't have to be forcefully implemented either. Change didn't always come from a direct choice.

Change can come from how different you can make someone feel and think, even if they would choose the same choice regardless.

Despite the possibility of someone making the same decision, an impression was still made, and maybe that's enough to be considered a change.

Shisui didn't have much strength to tell Kama this, though.

Besides, he didn't think that's what Kama wanted to hear. Shisui reckoned that Kama has had enough of his 'philosophical riddle wordplays'.

So when Kama insisted he changed nothing for him, Shisui instead told him,

"You made me happier..."

Shisui was relieved that he's blind to Kama's grieving face, but thought that the raw heartbreak in Kama's voice was just as painful and heart wrenching.

But then, Kama offered him a way to still keep in touch.

(Dead but not entirely dead, still living on, as long as Kama preserved his chakra.)

~*~*~

For the last time, Shisui saw Kama again, with haunted eyes, a tired smile and a slashed forehead protector.

In eight years, Kama has grown taller, older, but still too young to die.

In eight years, Shisui remained the same, unchanging, but his heart did not when he learned about what Kama did.

(Shisui can only watch Kama succumb to the tragedy he orchestrated for himself.)

~*~*~

BONUS:

Shisui (literally when he first met Kama): I want to study you.

Also Shisui: Hey, what the fuck

...

Kama (in the early stages of his friendship with Shisui): I hold him near and dear to my heart.

Shisui (in the early stages of his friendship with Kama): I wanna strangle this stupid twink.

...

Kama (seeing Shisui cling onto him): I can't believe I'm caring for him against my will.

Shisui (being pulled by Kama's surprisingly endearing personality): I can't believe I'm caring for him against my will.

...

Itachi: What's in that tube?

Kama: It contains a gas that turns anyone into ligma.

Itachi (already learned his lesson from being Kama's victim to unknown words like sugondese, sawcon and candace): ...

Shisui (overhearing their conversation): What's ligma?

Itachi:

Kama: I know what I have to do, but I don't know if I have the strength to do it.

...

Kama: Mom! Dad! Come to the dining room for a minute, I have something cool to show you!

Also Kama: *waits by the doorway with a raised tanto*

...

Inoichi: You wouldn't want to die, right?

Kama: Psh, dying is gay.

Inoichi (somewhat understands Kama's lingo and sighs in relief):

Kama: And I'm about to do the gayest thing imaginable to man other than gay sex.

...

Kama (his insecure ass mentally fighting Itachi at some point for the little to no chance that Shisui could've chosen him): If he's your man, then why is he MY thematic parallel?!

...

Kama (to Itachi): If I were a bug, I would find you in every lifetime just to die in your drink.

...

Kama: After, like, 5-7 traumatic experiences, everything just becomes funny tbh

...

(The duality of Shisui about Kama):

Shisui: I could fix him but honestly, whatever the hell is wrong with him is way funnier.

OR

Shisui: This man can't be fixed. I can love him though. Maybe that will calm him down.

...

(Them playing Among Us be like, with only Itachi, Shisui and Kama as the remaining survivors):

Black (Itachi, showing a ppt presentation that features advanced statistics and detailed bullet points on why he's innocent and why Shisui is the imposter): It's Shisui. Vote him out.

Green (Shisui, knowing he can't prove Itachi's compiled proof wrong and resorts to pathetic desperation): Vote me and ur gay

Black (Itachi, already voting Green): How juvenile.

White (Kama): luckily for me, im already gay

Green (Shisui): White, i will kiss you on the mouth if u dont vote for me

Black (Itachi): Kama, please don't do this to me.

(Meanwhile, in the Ghost Chat):

Blue (Kakashi, the other imposter, in disbelief): theres no way we won

Lime (Iruka, resigned): Oh well, good game.

Brown (Hana): FUCK YOU KAMA

Brown (Hana): LITERALLY ABOUT TO COMMIT A FRUIT ON FRUIT HATE CRIME

...

Shisui: Me and Kama are playing a game of Gay Chicken, but little does he know I'm marrying his ass.

...

Shisui: And just when you think you've hit rock bottom, you want to marry the local psychopath.

Also Shisui: And no, I didn't babygirl-ify him. He did that to himself.

...

Oh yeah, it's all coming together.

Shisui's omake was originally short, but I decided to let you all feast lol

Kama out here thinking his romance genre is friends to lovers, when Shisui is out here having an enemies to friends to lovers arc lmfao. Did Kama secretly know? Well, actually no rip, his entire POV worships Shisui lol, which ironically enough, Shisui started doing the same for him later on. Is it healthy? also no lol.

To make this hurt less, just imagine that they're all paid actors. The truth is that they're in a movie set and the bonuses are their real interactions. Everyone is alive and loves each other and they live happily ever after <33 (this bitch is coping HARD)

Also the owls are ASSHOLES. There's a reason why Kama has chronic nightmares, and it's not just because of his guilt and rebirth. There's a price for their services. Once again, it's all in his interlude. Haha, Kama pls stop hiding things;;

Yes, all three of the Uchiha brothers have Amaterasu. I kinda headcanon that Uchiha siblings would share one common Mangekyou ability, giving the "Eternal Mangekyou sharingan can only be gained through their siblings' eyes" more credit. Canon Itachi mentioning that only a brother of his blood can break through Tsukuyomi contributes to this headcanon of mine too. It also matches the theme of brotherhood lol

As for Kotoamatsukami, I'm changing the technicalities of its cooldown period. In my headcanon, it depends on how compliant the victim is to Shisui's will. The more 'agreeable' Shisui's demands are to the victim's character, the shorter the cooldown. It just so happens that Koto in canon keeps being used on people who disagree with the user a lot lmao

Next chapter will be our first interlude, featuring multiple outside POVs, namely: Kakashi, Itachi, Sasuke, Hana, Iruka, Inoichi, Natsu, and Danzo... and maybe a secret someone? Idk yet. Not in that order tho.