Ayy I made art lmao

~*~*~

        The first time you wake up, you were unintentionally jostled out of your unconsciousness.

(Your chakra sings, but no one hears.)

You try to remember what happened, but only manage to groggily piece together that you are heavily bleeding, and that someone in an ANBU uniform is carrying you in their arms, smoothly rushing through the forest trees to presumably get you back to the village.

You force your vision to focus to see a proper glimpse of the agent's mask, but end up discovering the agent's secret identity altogether.

The crow mask is such a dead giveaway, if not the high neck collar or the dark unkempt hair that you grow used to seeing almost everyday.

He probably doesn't notice that you're staring at him, as he's too laser-focused on getting you home.

(Huh, since when have you referred to Konoha as home?)

He smells like pines, ashes, and faintly of my blood, you dazedly think. And also something citrus, is your last thought before letting your sight unfocus and eventually darken.

(Your chakra continues its song.)

~*~*~

The second time you wake up, you hear a lot of panicked yelling and rushed footsteps.

Everything is too bright and loud and hurting, but you hear them and they are safe; so, you shut your eyes close again.

You feel safe, but you know better.

(Your chakra stops singing.)

~*~*~

You barely remember feeling a large, calloused hand softly petting your head, occasionally brushing your hair out of your face, as he slumps next to you. You recognize the chakra signature of whom the hand belonged to.

It had to be a dream.

It's not like him to do that.

~*~*~

You feel small hands softly shake your arm in a naive attempt to wake you up. You remain unmoving and asleep.

The shaking stops shortly after, but even still, he stays by your side.

~*~*~

Dainty fingers comb through your hair, and you feel your braid being loosely remade.

A voice hums a peaceful melody.

~*~*~

"That was selfish of you," he berates in a whisper, before confessing, "I wish I had done the same."

~*~*~

Someone is holding your hand, a thumb running rhythmically around your knuckles.

You don't know if the gesture is meant to comfort you or himself.

~*~*~

The third time you wake up, you find yourself in a hospital room, an IV needle stuck uncomfortably on the back of your hand, and you wish you've stayed asleep just so you wouldn't have to deal with Iruka crying and fretting all over you with a blotchy face, puffy eyes, snotty nose, and he looks so much like a kid and you're not that much older than him when you died and youalmostdiedagain--

Damn, you can't think straight with these painkillers.

(Or maybe it's the chakra exhaustion.)

Struggling to form cohesive thoughts through Iruka's worried rambling, you just tell him,

"S'fine."

"No, it's not fine!" He cries out, and you resist the urge to flinch from his volume.

Ugh, so loud.

"You almost got bisected!"

Hey now, that's an exaggeration. Obito only used a kunai; so, the blade was not long enough to cut through my body, you're tempted to tell him but instead...

You slur out, "Wild."

"It probably hasn't sunk in yet," Iruka resignedly sighs when he sees you calmly drinking from the glass of water placed next to you, easily glossing over your near-death experience. "Sensei told me that the morphine would have you out of it for a while,"

Oh, speaking of 'out of it'...

"How long was I out?" You ask him.

"Two days. Today's your third morning," Iruka tells you, and stays silent for a while, before starting the conversation again. He sounds hesitant, and for whatever reason, guilty. "Why... Why did you save me? I was the one who insisted on protecting the client. It's my responsibility, but you're... and now you're here."

Ah, how do you explain to someone that had he been literally anybody else but a canon character, you wouldn't have given a shit?

"We're teammates," you say but you think it's too lackluster of an answer, so you add, "Duties to look after each other, y'know?"

Unfortunately, the word 'duty' unlocked Iruka's tragic backstory, and compelled him to share it with you.

"My parents died to protect me, because my dad said that it's the parents' duty to keep their child safe from harm," Iruka then starts telling you his experience of being an orphan wanting recognition and the trouble he went through to attain it, and god help you, you're really not liking this current trend of people trauma-dumping on you. Do people just look at you and see free counseling?

"I don't want anyone to choose to die for me anymore. I don't deserve that much sacrifice." He finishes, then looks at you for your reaction.

The silence is briefly solemn.

"Well, damn," you say, your brain temporarily finding clarity despite the morphine running in your veins. "Too bad. Suck it up. Everyone dies anyway, so at least let them die the way they want to die. If it's to die to protect you, then let them,"

You see Iruka about to open his mouth to argue, but you continue.

"One day, you're gonna find someone who you'd shield your body with from a blade or jutsu, and only then you'd understand that it's not really much of a choice."

He is quiet as he stares at you, mulling over what you had just said.

"... You're brave for doing that." Iruka finally says.

Not really, you think but don't say. I'm actually a c--

"You'll be brave too, one day," you say, and Iruka is surprised by how confident you are with that claim. "Anyway, what happened with the rest of the mission? Did the client survive?" You ask, suddenly switching topics.

Iruka brightens and tells you that Inoichi managed to reach the nearest village outpost to contact Konoha for ANBU back-up, hence the man's long delay. Luckily, they arrived on time to save you and the client:

The mission ended up being a success, and true to the client's word, compensation was given. It's too bad yours had to be spent for your hospital fees, Iruka laments.

"If only the hospital would use it to paint its walls literally any color other than white, then I wouldn't have minded," you snark. "The place is too white, and I really don't like the color white."

"But you wear white everyday," he points out, and you raise a brow.

"And?"

"You're weird." Iruka chuckles, enlivened by the normalcy of your antics.

~*~*~

You inspect the injury Obito gave you on the bathroom mirror, your hand experimentally feeling around the bandaged wound.

Without the bandages, you're guessing there's a diagonal scar that runs from your left shoulder to the bottom of your right ribs. Probably against a doctor's advice and common sense, you press down on it, the pain telling you how serious the injury is.

Ah, stitches are definitely involved.

The gash on your shoulder is deep, the bruising and burning sensation telling you so. You're 67% sure that Obito managed to graze a bone because he's an unfairly strong motherfucker like that.

Though, you feel smug satisfaction that when you press the injury on your lower left pec and downwards to the right, the pain is not as intense, which implies a shallower cut.

Obito pulled the blade back.

Good, you think. That means he doesn't want me dead.

The hit was fatal, but he didn't mean to kill you. He just didn't expect you to interfere.

He likely expected you to be like your brother-- frozen in shock and only watching for someone to be cut down. Fortunately, you are not Itachi.

(You're just Kama.)

You may not have expected to encounter him this early on, but you certainly did prepare regardless.

You intend to live a little longer.

(It isn't luck that saved you.)

~*~*~

"I knew you'd live. You're too much of a stubborn asshole to die," Hana smirks as she fixes the placements of your received get-well cards and flowers by your bedside table.

"I appreciate your confidence in my character flaws," you give her a teasing smile.

"A bastard like always," Hana's smirk turns into a genuine smile. "Good to have you back."

Her three ninken yip, sharing the same sentiment.

"Thanks," you say, equally genuine. Just when she's about to finish her task, you ask her, "Oh, by the way, can you bring pencil and paper next visit?"

"Why?" She tilts her head at you, and you find it funny that you associate the gesture with a curious dog.

"I draw for a hobby," you tell her.

"I thought your hobby was thinking about things." Hana jokes, and you're actually surprised that she remembers that.

"Well, not really," you shrug. "I'd rather keep myself busy and productive,"

"Honestly didn't expect you to be an artistic type, but sure, I can bring pencil and some paper." Hana grins, content with just doing a simple favor for you.

It's times like this that you appreciate the Inuzuka's simplicity.

~*~*~

Ugh, deduction points to Inoichi for conducting his surprise therapy while you're still high on morphine. It's not even noon yet.

"You're a blunt boy, Kama-kun, that's why I'll be straight with you," Inoichi starts, and as per habit, you're already prepared with a quip to lighten the mood.

"It's okay sensei, you're the straightest person I know." You beam, and he exhales from his nose in light humor, before his look turns solemnly soft.

"Are you suicidal?"

Wait, what the fuck?

"Where did you get that idea?" You ask, bewildered.

"It's..." He hesitates, before continuing. "The things you've said before, and I find them worrying,"

What the hell did I say?

"Like what?" Your brows furrow in confusion, trying to remember what exactly you had said that gave Inoichi the impression that you want to die.

"To name one example, you often mention about how life is too short,"

"I mean, isn't it?"

"I also remember you quoting: 'We all die. You either kill yourself or get killed'," he says carefully, as if the phrase could potentially trigger you, and your mind momentarily blanks.

It is taking the entirety of your willpower to just not burst out laughing on the spot.

"It's a vine reference," you finally tell him after a moment of silence, your smile remaining small despite the urge to outright grin at the ridiculousness of it all.

"I don't understand how you can reference that from a plant." He looks genuinely confused.

Oh my god.

"You wouldn't get it," you say, another pop culture reference in mind.

"Try me,"

"Okay, the vine goes like this: We all die, you either kill yourself or get killed," you recite the popular quote from your old life in English and in-character, your tongue fluently pronouncing the language like second nature. It came out like a slur of nonsense.

Inoichi's face is priceless.

"... I should've known better than to question you while you're still high in pain medication," he sighs, and you choose to be uncharacteristically polite by holding in a snicker. In a lighter mood, he says, "You're much more of a hellion than you usually are."

"That can't be the only reason why you thought I was suicidal," you coax, your small smile coming off as encouraging rather than mocking.

Inoichi sobers at this.

"When we found you," his eyes briefly glance at the location of your injury. "You didn't have any unsheathed weapon for you to at least try and deflect the enemy's kunai,"

Ah, you remember. Having a weapon in hand is Shinobi Basics 101 against an armed enemy. You didn't draw out your kunai, because it's not like your kunai would make a difference on Uchiha fucking Obito. Not with your current level. You know it would be a futile attempt.

But no one else knows about his Kamui, you realize.

Oh...

Your face must have shifted into some reaction for Inoichi to look at you with an expression that's akin to pity.

"I know you're smart and talented," he says, and he means it. "You're not actually reckless, unless you intend to be,"

Right... Unless I intend to be, the phrase echoes in your mind.

"It's just a lapse in judgment, sensei. I didn't think, I panicked," you sincerely tell him, your head turning to look at the window. "The first thing I thought was that Iruka was gonna die, and it's going to be my fault,"

"Why yours?" He asks, and you now look at him with a grave face. You then continuously give him half-truths, careful not to defensively lie.

(You find Yamanaka eyes more intimidating than the Hyuuga's, because their eyes are trained to find liars.)

"Because I provoked the enemy,"

"And why did you do that?"

"I needed time,"

"For what?"

"For back-up to arrive and the client to survive,"

"You knew we were coming," Inoichi subtly accuses, and you internally curse at yourself for slipping like that, careful not to show any outward reaction.

You choose to be fully honest for once to lower his guard.

"I'm a sensor," you confess.

He takes the new information in stride, and doesn't question why you didn't inform him about it earlier like you thought he would have. Instead, he tells you,

"Hana-kun reported to me that you didn't care about the client,"

Hah, and she called me a tattletale, you humorously think to yourself.

"True, but Iruka did," you admit, and it must have been the right answer, as Inoichi's deathly still Water regains its usual, lively current. "Don't worry sensei, I really don't plan to die anytime soon. Lots of my plans would be wasted otherwise,"

(Inoichi got it all mixed up. There's a difference between wanting to die and not being afraid to die.)

"I see..." He says, then pauses for a while as if considering something. "I apologize for bringing up a concern that's inapplicable to you. Though, in case that were to change, know that I'm responsible for my genin team, and that my door is always open for any one of you."

This is it, some small, hopeful part of you implores. Right here, he's giving me a chance to ask for help.

"Sensei, I..." You force your mouth to stop moving, and your dulled thoughts start screaming.

The Yamanaka Head can help, and the Nara and the Akimichi will cooperate with him and could help the Uchiha, then no one has to die in the Massacre, and Shisui gets to age past his teenage years, and Sasuke and Itachi won't have to live miserably because you get to save them, and you won't have to-- I don't want to--

("Sensei, I don't want to die.")

You hate morphine.

"Thank you," you smile at him with crinkling eyes and no teeth, and it feels like razor blades on your cheeks. "For looking out for me, I mean,"

(You've already decided a long time ago.)

"Anytime, Kama-kun." Inoichi-sensei smiles back, and just when he's about to leave, you add,

"Also I never did dislike your hairstyle. Somehow, it looks good on you."

Sensei huffs out a quiet laugh at how genuine you sounded, looking amused and also somewhat flattered.

"But I still think you lied about your age to feel young." You snicker, making him give you a playful glare.

"Brat."

(His chakra ripples worriedly for you.)

~*~*~

Your condition of waking up from your two-day coma eventually reaches your family, with Mikoto receiving the news first. She brought you a homemade bento for lunch, along with some spare clothes, and despite her thoughtfulness, you know she's only doing this as her obligation as your mother.

Fugaku doesn't visit at all.

Sasuke didn't visit with Mikoto, as she told you that he's accompanying Itachi to some simple D-rank missions for the morning. Though, she reassured you that she'll tell them of your current condition, and that they should be stopping by sometime in the afternoon.

True to Mikoto's words, Itachi and Sasuke visit your room sometime after lunch.

"Kama-niisan, you're awake!" Sasuke cheers, already running and inserting himself to your bedside to snuggle next to you. The four-year-old is surprisingly considerate of avoiding contact with your injury, despite his excitement.

What a good boy.

Now as for your other brother, you didn't account for the possibility of Itachi bringing in uninvited guests.

Particularly, his new teammates.

"You must be Itachi-sama's brother. Uchiha Kama, right?!" The girl that looks about Iruka's age greets you enthusiastically, and you can immediately tell that she hero-worships your brother just by hearing her used honorific for him.

Oh, what a goldmine of embarrassment for Itachi.

"Pfft, Itachi-sama?" You repeat giddily with a shit-eating grin, already looking at your twin brother for his reaction. He may hide it well, but despite his stoic face, your eyes can easily spot the tint of pink on his ears and the look of regret in his eyes.

Nice try, Itachi, but you're years too early before you can perfect your poker face.

"I've already told her not to call me that," Itachi defends himself, as if it would help him save face.

"Maybe I should start calling you otouto-sama from now on, hm?" You smirk, fluttering your eyelashes innocently.

"No." Itachi pouts, and it's sickeningly adorable.

"Alright," you agree amicably, and he narrows his eyes in suspicion at your easy compliance.

Haah, your dear brother trusts you so little nowadays. You miss the boy who chose to blindly trust you in leading him next to the Forest of Death during the Kyuubi Attack.

It's a good thing Sasuke trusts you with all his tiny heart, then.

"Ne, Sasuke, from now on, you should call him Itachi-niisama," you tell the boy next to you, and like an adorable boy scout, he easily obeys.

"Okay!"

"Don't listen to him, Sasuke." Itachi says, his pout still in place.

"Okay!"

Ah, it's too bad Sasuke also trusts Itachi with all his tiny heart.

"Are you three always this cute?!" Itachi's girl teammate squeals, looking as if resisting the urge to pinch all of your faces.

"We have our moments," you snort, your arm pulling Sasuke closer, and the spoiled child revels in your affection.

"I wish Itachi-sama would talk this much in our missions!" She laments exaggeratingly, giving a genuinely pleading look to your brother, which tells you a lot about his silence.

God I wish I had her energy, you think tiredly, already exhausted just by listening to her voice. She should really share some of her enthusiasm with you... and your brother and their other teammate.

Speaking of their other teammate...

"Hey, you guys never told me your names yet," you remind them, your eyes drifting to the girl and the unnamed boy standing near the corner of the room, silently watching the entire interaction.

Creepy fucker.

"Oh! You're right!" The girl looks mortified of her slip-up. "My name's--"

"Wait, wait, don't tell me your names! I'll guess it!" You exclaim, eyes glinting with mischief that only Itachi can see. "You're Hanako!"

"Ehh, kinda close," she chuckles. "It's Himuka, Suzukaze Himuka. Nice to meet you!"

"Really? You look like a Hanako to me," you remark, before looking at the boy who you can easily identify as an Aburame. When your eyes focus on him, your smile turns nearly feral, and you can feel Itachi's chakra waver warily from your subtle hostility. "You, on the other hand, look like you're named Sugaru!"

Had you not been particularly looking for a reaction, you would've missed the way the Aburame flinched at the name.

Hah, Danzo trained his dog well.

"Ah, his name is actually Aburame Yoji," Himuka corrects you. "He, uh, can't really talk,"

"Damn, not even close." You sigh dramatically, and just like that, your sharp grin easily recedes back to your usual smile. Itachi's shoulders relax subconsciously at this, and you take notice. "Y'know, if you weren't my brother, I'd guess your name to be Nezumi,"

"A rat?" Itachi raises an inquisitive brow at you.

"Yeah, 'cause you can be cute and a pest at times, but I guess weasel does somewhat give your character justice," you say, and despite her admiration for your brother, Himuka shamelessly laughs.

You feel Sasuke tug on your shirt.

"Oh, oh! What'd you think my name be if I'm not your brother?!" He childishly asks, and you didn't even bother correcting his grammar before answering.

"You'll always be my brother," you quickly reassure him (yourself). "But to answer your question, I would still think your name is Sasuke-- my little assistant who's always by my side."

Sasuke grins, satisfied, as he lets his head lean on you.

~*~*~

Team 2 eventually leaves with Sasuke, once again leaving you to your own thoughts.

Your chakra detects no bugs around the room.

Even still, you feel itchy and you think no scratch can relieve you from it.

~*~*~

"I would really prefer it if you'd practice our basics on the field," Shisui starts, his arms crossed as he sits on the foot of your bed. "Specifically the part where you should jump away from a kunai and not in front of it,"

"If I were Iruka and you were in my place, would you have done the same?" You inquire coolly, and without hesitation, he answers,

"In a heartbeat."

"Hypocrite." You chuckle, amused with his nonchalant admission.

"What can I say?" He huffs out with a smile. "It's part of the job."

Because there are no bigger hypocrites than shinobi.

"Hm." You hum thoughtlessly, before letting your eyes linger on Shisui's left shoulder, wondering if you'd see a familiar tattoo if you lift up his shirt's sleeve.

Well, you already know the answer to that, but you suppose the more accurate direction of your curiosity is: since when?

"You were half-dead when you made it here," he suddenly tells you, his face now somber with no trace of his earlier humor. "Your left axillary artery was nicked. Had I been a second slower, you really would've died. You were lucky." He looks genuinely afraid for your life, and you don't like that look on his face.

It doesn't feel right.

Somehow, this is worse than Iruka's and Inoichi-sensei's confrontations, as it's strangely more personal; more intimate.

You think it's because compared to them, Shisui knows you longer. Better.

You know him better too.

"But I didn't," you say, as a half-assed attempt to console him. You were never gifted in comforting people, but distracting them proves to be equally effective. "Death can flirt with me all he wants, but my heart and life are both already taken, and you own one of them."

And like that, the solemn atmosphere shatters like fragile glass, and Shisui no longer has a serious look on his face. Instead, he openly scowls at you with furrowed brows, his cheeks and ears warming with a red tint.

"Why would you– You can't just derail the topic like that!" He exclaims, red-faced, and you find it hilarious that it's apparently an Uchiha trait to bury the bottom of their face within their high neck collars when embarrassed.

"It helped, didn't it?" You tease, grinning.

"Why are you like this?" He sighs, shaking his head with a chortle.

"Would you rather for me to not be like this?" You tilt your head playfully with a smirk.

"No..." Shisui says with a small smile, his dark eyes looking at you with a soft fondness that's making your stomach churn. "Don't ever change, Kama."

Ah...

"Hmph," you huff, the bottom of your face lowering to your neck collar. "Thanks for saving my life, by the way."

"Only you would say that so casually!" Shisui laughs his summery laughter, and all feels right again.

You are discharged after three days.

~*~*~

Team 4 is tense and awkward.

It took a week for your team to start doing missions again, albeit temporarily grounded to D-ranks until further notice. With how the last mission turned out, none of you gave any complaints. Still...

You're not a fan of how Team 4 is walking on eggshells around you.

Your and Hana's daily arguments barely escalate to a physical tussle anymore, and when you do get into an argument, Iruka would side with you because he acts like an indebted moron. Even Inoichi-sensei isn't spared from this stupidity, as he no longer gives out his sadistic punishments even when you straight-up called him an 'old man' to his face.

Call yourself masochistic, but you want the old team dynamic back.

And you're getting it back.

Even if it's in the middle of a D-rank mission.

"Okay, everyone stop whatever you're doing, and sit on that bench," you point at the pristine white bench underneath a nearby tree.

Hana and Iruka pause from painting the farm fence, both exchanging a questioning glance, before putting down their paintbrushes and hesitantly doing what you told them to do.

Ugh, it's worse than you thought. Not even a 'fuck off' from Hana nor a 'why' from Iruka.

"You too, sensei," you follow up, and surprisingly, Inoichi-sensei stands from his seat to cooperate, even if it's only to humor you.

They all obediently sit on the bench you pointed at, waiting for your next instruction.

"I just wanna say," you start seriously with crossed arms, taking turns to look all three of them in the eyes as you stand in front of them. "The bench's paint is still wet."

Their reactions are immediate, as they all jump away from their seats, groaning as they inspect their marked backs.

"You–!"

"Kama!"

"Goddamnit," Inoichi-sensei gives you a deadpanned, unamused stare. "You just had a near-death experience and yet you're still the same,"

"A near-death experience isn't enough to change my attitude," you say, before looking at your teammates who's watching the interaction to address them. "That's why it shouldn't be enough to change any of you either."

Both Iruka and Hana know what you mean, and they look away guiltily.

Yeah, that's right, mull over it, you dumbfucks.

It is quiet as they self-reflect, until sensei eventually breaks the ice.

"... Good to know you're self-aware of your attitude," he tells you with a teasing smile, and you grin at the opportunity.

"Yes, and I'm hoping you'd soon be aware of your old age,"

"Little gremlin."

"Old bat."

Silence persists for a few seconds, then...

Hana barks out a laugh, and Iruka gives out a shy chuckle. It's not long until they're both roaring a full-blown laughter to release their tensions out, and–

"After days of self-control, I can't wait to beat your ass!" Hana exclaims excitedly, pointing at you, and you indulge her with a nonchalant smile.

"You say that like you've actually beaten me before."

Hana's smile turns feral.

"Here we go again." Iruka sighs, but he looks relieved.

Before entering your long overdue fight with Hana, you give Inoichi-sensei a discreet smile of gratitude for playing along. He returns your smile.

It is when you and Hana are covered head-to-toe in white paint, when sensei finally realizes.

"Hey, wait–! We're still on a mission! Stop that or you're all running ten laps around Konoha!"

~*~*~

You are ten when your team enters Konoha's chuunin exams with Itachi.

Itachi is taking it alone, his team unavailable.

Himuka didn't want to take the exams just yet as she feels underprepared, and as for the Aburame, well... he can go die in a ditch for all you care.

Usually in this case, a team with only one member can't take the chuunin exams, but with the clan's push, Itachi was allowed in. Not really surprising.

Your team managed to pass the mental and survival aspects of the exam easily enough, and sensei is proud that all of you passed the preliminaries.

Naturally, not all of you made it to the final round.

Uchiha Itachi VS Uchiha Kama, the match-up screen reads and the crowd cheers.

"You better win this, you bastard!" Hana encourages you, while Iruka pats your back with a simple 'you can do this'.

"Don't worry," you reassure them with a smirk. "I've been saving up a technique that would promise victory."

And with that, you descend down the stadium's staircase, your younger brother already in the battle arena when you arrive.

Haah, the Uchiha elders must be lapping this up, with two of their members reaching the final round. No matter who wins or loses, it's still a win to the clan.

Frankly, you have nothing to gain here. You've already shown what you needed to show in your pre-finals, and you're sure that your chuunin promotion is already guaranteed. If you were to fight, it's only for the mere entertainment of the audience– no doubt asking for more after your most recent performance.

"You may begin!" The jounin referee announces.

And before Itachi could even move, you raise your hand.

It's just unfortunate for everyone that you're a petty asshole.

"I forfeit." You declare, and the stadium is shocked into silence.

"Are you sure?" Your dear younger brother asks you with furrowed brows, and oh, he looks disappointed..? You thought he disliked fighting.

"I always am." You say, and with that, you walk away from the battlefield.

"... Winner: Uchiha Itachi!"

Typically, the civilians make their displeasure known through their boos and jeers. On the other hand, the majority of the shinobi audience remain quiet, but you can feel their discontented stares nonetheless.

You take it all in stride with a smile on your face.

"What was that?!" Hana shakes your shoulders as soon as you reach your team at arm's length. "I thought you said you have a technique that would promise victory!"

"But alas, I never said it would be my victory."

"Asshole!" Hana continues to shake you, and you don't make a move to stop her.

"Well for what it's worth, congratulations for making it this far." You can always count on Iruka to be a good sport to your nonsense.

"Honestly should've seen that one coming," Inoichi-sensei pinches the bridge of his nose. "Why did we think that the chuunin exams would be spared from your mischief?"

~*~*~

You and Itachi are promoted to chuunin at age ten.

~*~*~

OMAKE: Unlike Father, Unlike Son

Pride means something to Uchiha Fugaku, and means everything to the clan.

But it means nothing to his eldest son.

Kama had always been an odd boy ever since he was born, with an appearance diverting from the dominant Uchiha gene pool. Not necessarily an outlier, but it is uncommon, Fugaku would like to think.

Onikko, the clan had called him. An omen, the elders whispered credulously about him.

The Uchiha tend to be a superstitious lot, so it only makes sense for Fugaku to be wary of a child that's believed to be brought by a demon.

Kama was like any other Uchiha baby, albeit less fussy compared to most. He's much like Itachi in that regard.

That changed when he turned a year old.

Imagine his and Mikoto's panic when Kama, who doesn't cry beyond infantile needs, suddenly started wailing like he's being burned alive. Not the most pleasant way to put it, but that's exactly how he sounded like, with how he screamed his throat raw– all red-faced with tear-stricken cheeks. Fugaku learned that day that babies were empathetic creatures, as Itachi cried with his brother.

It was a miserable few days for the whole family.

Fortunately, it was a one time thing.

It's a long time until Fugaku would see Kama express any other emotion beyond a facile smile again.

Time passed, Kama grew, and Fugaku observed.

The more he watched his son, the more peculiar his son came off.

To name a few of his eldest son's eccentricities, Kama doesn't like calendars or clocks. It's honestly a wonder how he could still arrive at events on time, despite his room being barren of any time-telling medium.

Don't get Fugaku even started on Kama's room with how it lacks personality, despite Kama having one of the most interesting personalities out there.

His eldest son lacks pride, but he does not lack self-esteem.

He carries himself, not as an Uchiha, not as a clan heir, not even as a shinobi, but just Kama.

Kama, who behaves inappropriately as a member of the Uchiha; who is shameless in committing faux pas left and right. He, for the lack of a better term, who doesn't give a shit about what people think of him.

But, Fugaku thinks enviously, Kama is also someone who has nothing to prove; owes nothing to anyone. He is free to do whatever he wants, and out of everything he could do, he chooses to work; to train.

Fugaku had to admit, Kama is both smart and ruthless for positioning himself outside the clan's expectations and pressure by simply not doing much, and letting Itachi attract the spotlight. By doing so, Kama could let himself train at a pace that's more comfortable than his younger twin's tight schedule.

Except, that's not what happened.

Fugaku sees, and it was by accident.

It happened when Fugaku had to attend a clan meeting earlier than usual. The sun had yet to rise, and he was in the living room about to leave when he crossed paths with Kama, who just entered the front door looking like he walked through a hurricane.

Startled by another awake soul in the household, Fugaku subconsciously activated his sharingan, and eyed his eldest son's state– the cuts and bruises on his hands and arms, then his depleted chakra level.

He was training, Fugaku's thoughts supplied.

At that time, Kama looked at him with surprise and confusion; not because Fugaku's up earlier than usual, but because he's just there and for some reason, Kama thought he shouldn't be.

"Oh... You're still alive." Kama slurred then his eyebrows furrowed like he realized something. "Right, we all are..."

With how exhausted Kama was, Fugaku understood his delirious state. It's just a surprise to him that out of all delusions his son could experience, it just had to be an existential crisis.

Later that day, Kama ate at the dining table, clean of any injuries Fugaku saw earlier that morning. It was only then Fugaku discovered that Kama constantly keeps up an area-genjutsu around himself, hiding scratches and bruises behind an illusion of unmarked skin.

How Kama could do that for who-knows-how-long without being detected still remains a mystery to Fugaku.

It was then Fugaku confirmed for himself that there is more to Kama than meets the eye. It's unfortunate that the clan would only choose to see what Fugaku sees if Kama were to accomplish a publicly-acknowledged achievement.

Kama eventually does that, because surely, Fugaku thinks, Kama wouldn't be working hard if he's not aiming to accomplish something. Fugaku was just simply unprepared for what Kama could– would accomplish.

"Congratulations, Fugaku-san," Hiruzen gave him a courteous smile, when he was, for some reason, called into the Hokage's office. "Your son, Kama-kun, managed to usurp Namikaze Minato's record-breaking Academy score by one point."

It took a lot of self-control for Fugaku's eyes to not widen at that statement.

And then there's the chuunin exams...

There is now solid proof to the theory of performing two jutsus at the same, and it could only be done by the hypothetical 100 percentile chakra control that Kama apparently possessed.

A combination of Fire Style and Wind Style jutsus always did have a devastating effect on the battlefield, but for it to be performed by one person is...

"What is that!? A new Bloodline Limit?!" Fugaku heard Kama's pre-final opponent exclaim, as he watched the match with an activated sharingan, paying rapt attention to Kama's revolutionary techniques.

"I'm flattered you think that, but no," he heard Kama say with a sardonic smile. "Though, I guess you could say that I'm a bit too self-aware."

Fugaku doesn't doubt that Kama's promotion is guaranteed.

Then came the match of both his eldest sons.

"I forfeit!"

Fugaku bites back a bark of laughter, because he knew Kama only did what he did to instigate a reaction from the crowd.

Needless to say, no matter what others may call Kama, to Uchiha Fugaku, Kama is just Kama; his son.

~*~*~

BONUS:

Breaking News: Fully grown man doesn't know how to process emotions. More at 11.

...

Shisui: I run fast, my demons run faster, but Kama is winning this race.

Itachi: Race for what?

Shisui: On who gets to run in my mind.

Kama: That's so sweet in a morbid kind of way.

...

Kama: Don't worry Iruka, I will follow all medical advice so i can be discharged soon

Also Kama as soon as Iruka leaves: *pokes on his stitched wounds*

...

Inoichi: From now on, I am banning the use of the word "boomer".

Kama: Okay, Sir Old-As-Shit.

Inoichi:

...

current age references:

kama and itachi: 10

sasuke: 4

shisui: 12

i have decided that, yeah, this will have 14 chapters overall because i grew attached with team 4 and shisui, and now i want more scenes with them asjdhka

as for itachi's new teammates, unfortunately, they didn't have any anime appearance nor were their appearances described. All that was mentioned were their names; so, i was vague with their descriptions.

fun fact: while creating this story's outline, kama's and shisui's relationship was originally supposed to be ambiguous. you could interpret it as either platonic or romantic, and while they do lean more on the romantic side, there's no concrete proof that they're romantically involved. That's why in the preface, the genre is "romance (if you squint)". however, I should've known better than to think I have self control lmao so now, prepare for a bittersweet love story. Though, make no mistake, their romance is not the focus of this story.

Additional fun fact: kama was supposed to be albino. But then, with a given name and a given appearance, i figured it would no longer be a reader-insert but more of an oc story written in second pov. So, in the end, I let you guys interpret his appearance, other than his clothing.