This is Hyuuga Natsu. She's not really canon, and she showed up in filler, like, once lol. Anyway, enjoy!

~*~*~

        Itachi is eight when he awakens his sharingan; when he grieves for the first time. Two tomoe spin mockingly within the pair of blood red pools, as he recalls his teammate's death with perfect clarity.

        He tells you of his deceased teammate's name which was Tenma; of their first impressions and their relationship's development. He tells you of his other teammate, Shinko, who decided that the shinobi life was not for her; of how he's the only member left in his cell.

        He tells you of the masked man who ambushed them; the man who killed Tenma.

        You don't know why he's telling you this, instead of telling Shisui. Shisui would know what to say, how to comfort him better. You surely don't.

        So after Itachi finishes confiding in you, you thoughtfully hum and say the first thing that comes to mind,

        "I see... That's rough, buddy."

        You ignore the single teardrop that trails down Itachi's cheek.

        As if sensing his distress, Sasuke crawls over Itachi's lap then affectionately snuggles his chubby face on his chest. Itachi embraces him to reciprocate the affection.

        Looking back at it, the three of you once sat exactly like this--before Kurama attacked; on an autumn night, on your old house's engawa, with Itachi coddling Sasuke, and you keeping your distance.

        Time sure flies. It feels just like yesterday.

        (Tick, tock, tick, tock, the timer continues its countdown.)

        "Have you awakened your sharingan yet?" Itachi quietly asks you, phrasing it like it's only a matter of time and not of chance. He sounds confident that you'd attain it one day, if not already.

        You guess you can see why he's certain about it. After all, you are brothers-- twins, even. You have whatever he has and vice-versa.

        (But that's not entirely true now, is it?)

        With a shameless smile, you lie.

~*~*~

        It's now common occurrence for Sasuke to be left alone with you. You have nothing better to do anyway.

        "Did you know there's a saying that children who don't look like their parents were delivered by a demon? They call them Onikko," you tell the two-year-old sprawled all over your lap.

        Sasuke only babbles in an attempt to repeat what you just said.

        "Ne, Sasuke, do I look like a demon to you?" You ask him, not really expecting an answer. "Who do you think I resemble the most in our family? Even just a tiny bit?"

        Your little brother gurgles, arms reaching out for your braid, "Kama-niisan..!"

        Ah, right. It took a while, but Itachi managed to eventually correct Sasuke's switch of your names. It was fun while it lasted.

        "Yeah..." You say, patting his head, as you let him play with your hair. "I'm Kama-niisan."

~*~*~

        Hyuuga Natsu has the best grade in taijutsu from your batch.

        Surprisingly, she's not like her clan's stereotypes, and you're not just talking about her unusual dark green hair color. She's formal and holds herself with dignity appropriate for a Hyuuga, but she isn't prissy nor pompous about it like the rest of her clan. You know this, because you've seen how she modestly interacted with non-clan members... and the fact she's friends with Hana and a civilian girl.

        That doesn't mean she's a pushover in the ring, however.

        You've sparred with her before, and your average skills were not enough to keep you on your feet for more than thirty seconds. That's a huge feat, as Fugaku's standard of 'average' is actually above average to commoners.

        Hana is especially delighted about her friend beating your ass.

       That's why it's a shock to the entire class when it's Natsu on the ground, and it's you who's offering the seal of reconciliation.

        "W-winner: Uchiha Kama!" Daikoku announces, breaking the class' stupor.

        You don't pay attention to the mixed sounds of excited cheers (mostly from the girls) and hesitant claps. Instead, you focus on your sparring partner who has still yet to reach for your hand.

        You don't want Natsu to hold a grudge over this and end up to be another one-sided rival like Hana; so, you tell her with your usual smile,

        "I had to train a lot to beat you, y'know?"

        Natsu's face flushes at your humble admission, before intertwining her fingers with yours, avoiding eye contact the whole time. She then bows and thanks you for the match. You do the same.

        After your first victory with the class' best taijutsu fighter, you finally start working to climb up the class rankings, oblivious to pale eyes watching your progress with quiet admiration.

        (After her first loss, Hyuuga Natsu gains her first crush.)

        For some reason, Hana is a lot more aggressive with her rivalry than before.

~*~*~

        Eventually, you place first in your class, earning yourself the title: Rookie of the Year.

        You have to be if you want to graduate earlier than the standard age of twelve years old.

        (You don't have much time.)

        You are nine when you graduate with flying colors, surprising your teachers with your unexpectedly fast improvement. They promptly update their observations about you in your academy profile.

        Not wanting to be outdone, Hana, the top kunoichi, graduates with you. She now has three ninken following her. They don't like you.

        You tie your forehead protector around your neck like a noose.

        Fugaku is proud when he sees the Konoha emblem hanging near your throat.

~*~*~

        "Team 4: Inuzuka Hana, Uchiha Kama. Your sensei, Yamanaka Inoichi, is waiting for you at Training Ground 6, with your third teammate, Umino Iruka."

        Team 4, you think, is a team of losers.

        You reach for your neck and carefully adjust your forehead protector.

        Any team is better than Itachi's team.

~*~*~

        "Okay, tell your names, ages, likes, dislikes, hobbies, and your dreams for the future," Inoichi instructs as he sits in front of your new team. You note how his ash blond ponytail is long enough to touch the grassy ground. "However, you have to lie once. Your other teammates will then try to guess what you lied about; I'll start,"

        He clears his throat.

        "I'm Yamanaka Inoichi; I'm thirty years old. I like the village and I dislike filling up paperwork. My hobby is cultivating flowers, and my dream for the future is for my clan to prosper,"

        You notice how his introduction is generic enough to not have anyone be clued in to his strengths or weaknesses.

        "Your lie is your dislike of filling up paperwork," Iruka says rather confidently, obviously having done this before.

        "That's correct," Inoichi says with a smile. "Contrary to popular belief, I have no problems with filling up paperwork. Writing reports, however, is a different story,"

        "Huh, I thought you were lying about your age," you think aloud.

        "Oh? How old did you think I am?" Inoichi asks you, and not skipping a beat, you frankly say,

        "In your late forties."

        His chakra ripples like a disturbed lake.

        Ah, sensitive topic, you see.

        The Yamanaka Head's eye twitches, then takes a deep breath, before nodding at Iruka to proceed. Hah, what a mature and adult thing to do.

        "My name's Umino Iruka, I'm fourteen, I like ramen, and dislike the color orange. My hobbies are studying and taking walks," the scarred boy's shy demeanor turns determined. "And my dream for the future is to pass on the Will of Fire!"

        You have a good reason to suspect that you and Hana are not Iruka's first teammates.

        "Your lie is disliking the color orange!" Predictably, Hana turns this into a contest and races you in getting the answer right. You do not want to encourage her behavior; so, you drone out your guess.

        "Your lie is your studying hobby,"

        Iruka looks shocked then sheepish of your (correct) guess.

        "You're right, but ah, do I look that dumb for you to assume that?" He scratches the back of his head, his horizontal nose scar tilting from his embarrassed smile.

        "Not really, you strike me more as a troublemaker than the studying type," you grin, holding out a hand for him to shake. "Takes one to know one, y'know?"

        Iruka huffs out an eased chuckle at your subtle confession, before taking your hand and giving it a shake. You casually ignore Hana's glare like you always do.

        "Nice to meet you,"

        "Nice to meet you too, Iruka-senpai,"

        "A-ah, Iruka's just fine,"

        Inoichi looks pleased (and maybe a bit exasperated?) by the interaction, before gesturing at Hana to go next.

        "I'm Inuzuka Hana, nine years old, and these are my partners, the Haimaru Brothers. They just turned one," her three ninken bark accordingly, as if introducing themselves. "I like Uchiha Kama, I dislike being pressured, and my hobbies are taking care of the ninken in our clan kennels. My dream for the future is to be a veterinarian iryo-nin!"

        Well, you can't say you didn't see that one coming.

        "Umm, I'm guessing the lie is you liking Kama-san," Hana looks satisfied by Iruka's correct... well, it isn't exactly a guess if it's obvious. Iruka's eyes dart nervously between you and Hana, as if expecting a tussle at worst or an argument at best.

        You're not stooping low to start any of those. You're an Uchiha, you have better class than that; that's why you douse the sparking embers with gasoline, by drawling out, "I think your lie is your dislike of being pressured. You wouldn't have graduated with me, otherwise."

        Hana's face turns red, angry that you turned her own jab against her, and she snarls, "You're doing this on purpose!" You hear her three companions growl, sensing their pack leader's rage. "You think it's all about you!"

        "I disagree; it's more like you're the one making this about me."

        "Fight me!"

        Just before she can tackle you, Inoichi clears his throat. The noise seems to be enough to ground Hana from her temper, and she has enough decency to look ashamed. Before the jounin could (probably) start scolding either of you, you continue the introduction.

        "My name is Uchiha Kama. I'm nine. I like the color white, I dislike Inoichi-san's hairstyle," you hear Inoichi choke down an indignant sputter, with Iruka smothering his own laughter. "My hobby is thinking about things, and my dream for the future is to just keep dreaming."

        "Your dream is to just keep-- Hah?! What kind of an introduction was that?!" Hana looks at you disbelievingly, like you just chanted some alien bullshit.

        "It wasn't exactly an introduction. It's more of a first impression," you say, before turning to your jounin instructor. "So, Inoichi-san, do we pass?"

        "Oh?" Inoichi's face is no longer easy to read. "What made you think that this was a test, Kama-kun?"

        "I'm aware that genin have to pass their assigned jounin's test if they want to be acknowledged as the jounin's students. In case they fail, they would either have to repeat the academy or enter the Genin Corps," you tell him. "However, I'm not aware what kind of test you would subject us to. With you being a Yamanaka, I have a good reason to suspect that mind games are involved,"

        "An astute observation," he nods approvingly. "And what do you think is the point of this test?"

        With a smile, you answer, "I don't know."

        Inoichi sighs, lightly annoyed but not exactly disappointed. He knows you know.

        "I was actually trying to gauge this team's future dynamic through first impressions. Specifically, through your assumptions," he explains, and of course, a Yamanaka is capable of such. You start to find their eyes more intimidating than a Hyuuga's. "By trying to point out a lie, you're already assuming an aspect of your teammate. Your resulting interaction with each other is the deciding factor on whether you should be in this team or not,"

        Inoichi eyes Iruka, "I'm already aware of Iruka-kun's personality type," then you and Hana, "but the two of you determine if this team's dynamic could work."

        He stands up from the ground, your eyes following his slow movement.

        "Inuzuka Hana: is driven and has respect for authority, but temperamental," Hana shrinks on herself at the mention of her subtle reprimand. "Uchiha Kama: intentionally troublesome, nonchalant, but observant."

        You feel like Inoichi wanted to add more, but stopped himself.

        "After what I've observed, I should fail you and wait for the next available genin," he says, specifically staring Hana down. "We are shinobi; we don't give in to taunts, and we especially don't start it. Because Kama-kun did not reciprocate your hostility, I'll let him decide on whether to replace you or not,"

        You can tell Hana immediately wants to argue, but realizes that she actually started this passive-aggressiveness first through her introduction. She then looks at you with grudging resignation, knowing that the start of her career is on your proverbial hands. She thinks you want her out.

        Hana's ninken whine as they try to comfort their upset partner.

        "She can stay." You easily decide, surprising her.

        "Then that's settled," Inoichi says just as easily. "We'll meet up here, the same time tomorrow. Dismissed."

        No one remembers to guess your lie.

~*~*~

        It is when you are a few meters away from the clan's compound, when you decide to confront your follower. You'd imagine that the Uchiha guards wouldn't welcome an uninvited guest, even if they're the Inuzuka heiress.

        "You can come out now," you say, before turning around to face Hana. Her poor concealing skills are disgraceful for a clan that specializes in tracking.

        "I... Y-you... S..." Hana stumbles, face going red as she tries to find her words. Her three ninken attempt to show their support by bumping their noses on her legs.

        You have a feeling you know what she's trying to say.

        "Konoha values teamwork above any other quality. We either both fail or both pass," you start, before she could even complete a sentence. "I didn't do it for you; so, you really don't have to thank me."

        You don't wait for a response, as you turn around to continue walking towards your destination. There's already a considerable distance between you and Hana, when she finally snaps out of her stupor and yells after you.

        "W-what?! Ugh! I'm trying to-- and you just walk away, you arrogant-- That's so like you!"

        You think your ears are going faulty as you don't hear the usual heat in her words when she's addressing you. Eh, you'll get that checked later.

        From a distance, cool, misty Water flares approvingly.

        Team 4 officially passes.

~*~*~

        D-rank missions are as uneventful as it could get.

        Iruka attempts to make the best of it through idle conversations he's trying to get out of you and Hana. You think he feels awkward and out of place, even though he's technically been in this team longer than you have been.

        "What's it like to have a twin?" That doesn't look like you, you hear but he doesn't say.

        Of course he has heard of Itachi. Who hasn't heard of the Uchiha prodigy? And whenever Itachi's name is mentioned, yours is sure to follow, because you're the twin whose name gets trampled like a stepping stone to highlight the better twin's greatness.

        Some people just really have nothing better to do.

        You give Iruka your usual smile, before replying,

        "Like I wish I had committed fratricide while we were still in our mother's womb. Maybe vice-versa; I'm not picky of who dies," Iruka looks horrified of how casual you sound. "Heh, you know how brothers are."

        "I... I don't think it's normal to think of your twin like that."

        "Kama, what the fuck?" Hana comments, equally disturbed.

        Even with your... unusual response, Iruka still persists with his attempts for conversations.

        They think you're joking.

~*~*~

        It is during your nth D-rank mission while your team is gardening, when you're the first to strike up a conversation.

        "Did you know that broccoli is a flower?"

        "Broccolis are vegetables, dumbass," Hana says, pulling out a weed.

        "No, they're flowers," like an asshole, you add, "Much like what I'd give you, if I had to give you flowers." You send her a brief, cheeky smile, while repotting a herb.

        "Fuck you!" She retaliates by throwing a freshly plucked dandelion at you. You easily parry by swatting it away.

        "Uh, she's right, Kama-san," Iruka includes himself, giving his two cents. "You eat broccoli because they're vegetables."

        "There's no such thing as vegetables," you say.

        "You're messing with us." Hana deadpans.

        "There's no vegetables in botany. The term 'vegetables' is just a social construct, specifically made for the culinary arts," you explain as a matter of fact. "Carrots are roots, cabbages are leaves, and broccolis are flowers."

        "... You're wrong, I just don't know how to prove it yet." Hana looks like she's questioning everything she knows while stubbornly holding her face of conviction that she's right.

        "Kama-kun is right." Inoichi, who was quiet for the entire mission, finally speaks up.

        "Oh," was all Iruka said, as you give an audible huff of amusement.

        "Smartass." Hana grumbles under her breath, making sure you hear it. You are a shithead, so you say,

        "Inoichi-sensei, Hana just called you a smartass!~"

        "Wha-- I was talking about you!" Hana fumes. "And wow, you're such a tattletale!"

        At the end of the day, your white shirt is littered with soil and grass stains from Hana 'accidentally' throwing dirt and uprooted plants at you. Naturally, you retaliated, and it is to your comfort that Hana came out a lot worse than you did.

~*~*~

        When Itachi eventually learned that you once brought him and Sasuke next to the Forest of Death during the Kyuubi Attack and didn't tell him, he gave you minor inconveniences for a whole week.

        From you having to constantly play hide-and-seek with your own belongings, to your mysteriously empty hair conditioner that was supposed to be brand new.

        Motherfucker knew you had a haircare routine and ruined it.

        What a petty little shit.

        Even with the annoying memories Training Ground 44 brought (mainly because of Itachi's shenanigans), it's ironic that you found comfort within its forest due to how you're overly familiar with it like the back of your hand. Camping underneath its towering trees, away from civilization, unexpectedly gave you a respite that couldn't be found anywhere else. Maybe it's the nature, maybe it's the lack of people, maybe it's the quiet.

        Or maybe the comfort didn't really come from the forest's familiarity, but rather from the person who accompanies you to it.

        "Hey, we trust each other, right?" Shisui speaks up from the darkness next to you, the moonlight barely passing through the thick foliage. "Because we're friends?"

        You turn on your makeshift hammock to face him. Even with the dim lighting, your eyes adjusted enough for you to see the contours of Shisui's frame and the outlines of his own hammock. In the Forest of Death, you have lesser threats if you sleep on the trees.

        You don't give him an immediate response, as you take a moment to think.

        Other than the talents you showed in the academy and your graduation, no one really knows like Shisui does of the extent of your capabilities. It's a pleasant surprise that Shisui kept his word and his mouth shut, despite his loyalty to both the clan and the village. You guess he deserves an ounce of your trust, and you don't give your trust outside of a few select of family and friends (which is not many to begin with).

        "Yep," you finally reply.

        "If I tell you a secret, would you tell me another one of yours?"

        Oh-hoh? Quoting you now, is he?

        You wonder what brought this on.

        "Sure," you say, curious.

        When he begins to tell you his secret, you start to think that maybe he doesn't really want to hear a secret of yours. Rather, he just wants to tell you his.

        He tells you a story of two boys, once rivals and then friends. A simple mission gone wrong from Yugakure. A sadistic missing-nin chasing after a group of genin, cutting them down one by one. There's only one survivor, and he's here telling you the story.

        He survived, because he was faster. He survived, because he let his teammate-rival-friend die out of envy, which also bought him more time. He survived, because his eyes bled red when he was cornered, and demanded for the missing-nin to leave him alone.

        He survived, because he had awakened an ability with the name of a god.

        He was only seven at that time.

        He tells you this story like it's a moral lesson about the consequences of lacking courage; however, all you hear is a tragedy about young boys who didn't want to die.

        (There is a simmering anger that coils inside your chest for the children who had to think self-deprecatingly like Shisui because of Konoha's misled over-glorification over loyalty and sacrifice.)

        You don't know why he's telling you this, instead of telling Itachi. Itachi would know what to say, how to comfort him better. You surely don't.

        (But maybe, you don't really have to say anything in the first place. Maybe, he just wanted someone who would just listen.)

        Eventually, Shisui finishes his story, his voice hoarse and breaths uneven. You can hear the shift of cloth, as his hands reach for his eyes to wipe away what you assume to be his tears.

        You give him time to recover, as you think of what to say next.

        "I've already awakened my sharingan." You tell him, after a bout of silence.

        You don't know why you told him that.

~*~*~

        On a random night, it clicks into your memory that the missing-nin Shisui described was Hidan.

~*~*~

        Apparently, it's tradition for an Inuzuka to invite their genin team for family dinner, as an introduction of 'pack by duties' to 'pack by blood'. It just so happens that your team's Inuzuka is part of the clan's main family.

        Hana had been hounding your team for dinner at her clan compound for weeks now, and each time, it was cancelled because of clashing schedules. Oftentimes, Inoichi is too busy with responsibilities as clan head. Sometimes, Iruka is occupied doing volunteer work for the orphanage. All the time, you decline because you straight-up don't feel like it.

        Eventually, Hana found out about your lies. Though, were they really lies if all you had just said was "I can't" to her invitations, and she just assumed it was related to clan duties?

        Nevertheless, she was pissed.

        And then, she decided to pull rank on all of you as the Inuzuka heiress and invited all of you for clan dinner formally, which would be an insult to decline. It really said a lot about her thinning patience, considering her clan's low regard for formalities.

        Anyway, you were right to constantly turn down Hana's past invitations, because this is--

        "Awkward~" You sing, as you pick on your food with your chopsticks. You hear Inoichi groan out a quiet 'oh my god' on your right. It's amazing how professional he sounded, even with the pinched look on his face. On your left, Iruka takes an unnecessarily long sip of his miso soup.

        In front of you, Tsume unabashedly stares (glares?) at you, and next to her is Hana who looks like she's regretting every life choices she has made to end up here. You think she could start by regretting on inviting the team in the first place.

        What did she expect, really?

        Take a clan head who's overly cautious of starting any political conflict, an awkward civilian orphan who doesn't know any clan etiquette, and an uncrowned heir who doesn't give a shit to a dinner table with a volatile Inuzuka matriarch who drove her husband off to who-knows-where. It's honestly just an incident waiting to happen... which you're not opposed to start.

        If trouble calls thy name, thou shall answer, and all that shit. It makes life spicier that way.

        It would be nice to stir some petty drama before you're no longer around to cause it yourself.

        "So you're the Kama-brat Hana keeps griping about," Tsume finally speaks, then Hana grumbles a hushed 'Ma!'

        Wow, had she been waiting for one of you to say something the whole time? Maybe you should've said something sooner to kickstart this inevitable mess.

        "All good things, I hope," you cheekily say with your signature smile, as you ignore Inoichi's subtle warning nudge underneath the table. Tsume smirks at your audacity.

        "According to Hana, you were popular back in the academy," she tells you, and your smile stretches a tad bit wider.

        "Wait, you were?" Iruka forgets the awkward atmosphere and looks at you incredulously, as if the thought of you being popular was beyond human comprehension.

        Okay, rude but understandable.

        "Well, not really," you humbly say, and Hana immediately refutes you by slamming a fist on the table.

        "Liar! You so know you're popular in the academy!" She exclaims, pointing an accusatory finger at you. "It's why you keep flirting with the girls from our class, asking them to braid your hair and other creepy requests like that even after you graduated!"

        "Nice." Iruka lowly whispers his commendation to you. You hold in an amused laugh.

        "Asking them to teach me what they've learned in kunoichi classes isn't creepy," you patiently tell Hana. "Also, girls braid better than boys. It's neater. Lastly, I never flirted with any of them,"

        "Ugh, stop lying!" Hana groans, running her hands frustratingly over her face.

        "I'm not, because, you see," you grin, as you look Hana in the eyes. "I like boys."

        Silence.

        They all look at you, as if they're waiting for something. Perhaps they think you're joking again.

        When you don't follow up your statement with a 'just kidding' or a 'gotcha', they finally react.

        "H-huh?!" Hana sputters.

        "What?!" For the second time today, Iruka looks at you incredulously.

        Inoichi chokes on his spit, and Tsume's focused stare turns wide-eyed.

        You let them gather themselves, before speaking again.

        "Is there a problem with that?" You raise a brow challengingly, your smile remaining intact.

        "Nothing new," Tsume says reassuringly, and for some reason, she looks amused like she knows something you don't.

        "N-no! It's fine, it's just... unexpected, y'know?" Iruka appeases you with a sheepish smile.

        "But no dating until you're eighteen." Inoichi follows strictly, and huh, is he already applying his newly-acquired dad skills on you? Ino must be three now, right?

        "Life is too short for that, Inoichi-sensei," you ominously tell him, and before he could delve deeper on what you just said, this dinner drama escalates when Hana asks,

        "So, you... don't want to date any girls from our class?"

        She's really focused on the girls of... huh-- oh. Oh...

        In hindsight, you should've figured it out sooner.

        "Oh, I see. You like one of them, don't you?" You hum in understanding. "Is it the Hyuuga girl?"

        Your assumption gets an immediate reaction from the heiress.

        "How did you know?!"

        "I didn't." You grin triumphantly.

        "Ugh, you're such a bastard!" Hana groans, covering her face that's starting to look as red as the tattoos on her cheeks.

        "Hah!" Tsume laughs, before half-heartedly apologizing to Hana. "Sorry, sweetheart, but you aren't really subtle!"

        "Maaa!" Hana whines, folding her arms defensively.

        "Would you like me to tell Natsu-san that she doesn't have a chance with me?" You offer, and once again, the whole table stares at you.

        "Brutal, kid." Tsume snorts.

        "Harsh." Inoichi agrees.

        "Cold." Iruka seconds.

        Fuck them, you didn't ask for a live commentary.

        "It's best while her affections for me are still shallow." You explain yourself, before taking a sip of your water. While doing so, you carefully eye Hana's reaction. She doesn't say it out loud, but you know she wordlessly accepts your offer.

        It's not like you're confessing for her anyway; so, it's all good.

        "How do you know you like boys, anyway?" Hana inquires curiously. "Do you like one right now?"

        Well, not really, you think, but you don't want them to think that you could potentially be lying; so, you tell them,

        "Something like that."

        Hana became a lot more tolerable after the team dinner.

        (For some reason, during the conversation, your mind pushed forth memories of bright eyes, brighter grins, and a laughter that sounds like summer.)

~*~*~

        "That's three out of five laps around Konoha!" Inoichi yells, when you pass by him. "You have two more!"

        Honestly, how is it that you're acquainted with the pettiest people you've ever met? There's Itachi, there's Hana, sometimes it's Shisui and Iruka, and now there's Inoichi.

        You tell one joke, and suddenly, you have to run laps around the village.

        Hmm... maybe there's just something about you that evokes people's inner pettiness.

        "This is... is all--" Hana pants, as she runs next to you. "Your fault..!"

        "I second that!" Not for the first time, Iruka sides with Hana.

        Oh right, they run with you too. All for one, one for all kind of deal that even applies to punishment. Something-something about team bonding and sharing burdens, as Inoichi puts it.

        "I don't recall being the one who tossed Tora at Inoichi-sensei," you say, and Hana's face pinches at the memory.

        When Inoichi is no longer in range, Hana slows her run into a jog, before eventually stopping overall to give herself a breather. You and Iruka follow her example.

        "That cat bit firs-- not the point! The point is, that wasn't the reason why sensei had us running!" She exclaims, and you can already hear the upcoming accusation.

        "Really, Kama-san," Iruka starts, both physically and mentally tired. "If you hadn't said anything to sensei, we wouldn't have been punished like this,"

        "The man exaggerated about almost having a heart attack from being jumped by a cat," you explain imploringly. "He was practically asking for the old man jokes,"

        "It's called light humor," Hana snarks. "Something you apparently don't know about!"

        "Really now?" You bite down a smirk when you feel an approaching chakra signature.

        "I don't remember telling you to rest!" You hear Inoichi call your group out.

        "Shit!" Hana and Iruka immediately start running again. You choose to slightly lag behind, just to tell Inoichi,

        "It's okay, old people tend to not remember a lot of things."

        "Kama!" Iruka forgets his honorific for you, as he now looks at you with betrayed and panicked eyes.

        "Three more laps!" Inoichi bellows, arms crossed, and even from a distance, you're pretty sure you can see a vein threatening to pop out of his head.

        "... You're such an asshole." Hana says to you resignedly.

        Once dismissed (without further incidents), you eye the position of the sun and think you have some time left to train with Shisui.

~*~*~

        Uchiha Shisui is a gremlin daredevil.

        A training junkie.

        An absolute madlad.

        There's a reason why it's only Shisui who managed to earn a moniker from a D-rank jutsu, and it's not just because he's some genius (or maybe he's a genius because he's batshit). No; it's because no sane bastard would put themselves through his training regime that can fucking cripple. That, and the fact Wind Release is vital to the technique-- a rare affinity in the Land of Fire and Shisui just so happens to have it.

        That's why you find it ironic that underneath Shisui's risk taker front is an irritating mother hen. You learned this after you unexpectedly passed out for thirty seconds during one of your afternoon sparring sessions.

        Lying on the ground, you look up only to see a worried Shisui hovering over you, hands flailing around like he doesn't know what to do with them.

        One of Konoha's top chuunin, ladies and gentlemen, you internally laugh. You're glad you're conscious before he could even bring you to the hospital.

        "Fuck dude," you groan, as you sit up. "You smacked the living daylights out of me,"

        "My punch didn't knock you out!" He frets, kneeling beside you.

        "My bruising cheek says otherwise," and damn, did it hurt like a motherfucker. Your face basically welcomed his fist.

        "You passed out before my punch landed!" Oh right, you particularly remember blacking out and then feeling Shisui punch you. Not like you'd admit that, though.

        "Did it, now?"

        Unfortunately, Shisui wouldn't let you get away with your nonsense.

        "Hospital. Now."

        "I'm not going to the hospital just for a bruise on the face," you scoff playfully. "I'm not a wuss,"

        "Kama, you fainted during our spar. That can be dangerous when you're on a mission outside the village," he warns. "It can even be a symptom for some sickness,"

        "I'm fine, just tired," you reassure. "Inoichi-sensei just pushed us further than usual with training; that's all,"

        "What kind of training?" He impels, and wow no wonder his nose is broad if he often presses it on other people's business.

        "Oh, y'know, basic training, D-rank missions, and some punishment sprinkled here and there,"

        "What was your team's punishment?"

        "Run eight laps around Konoha." All are truths and are valid excuses on why you're exhausted.

        "... Something isn't right here," he says, suspicious. "While today may be more extensive for you than usual, even with our spar, that shouldn't be enough to have you pass out like that." Ugh, you can just tell that he's about to declare for you to be hospitalized; so, you cut him off before he could.

        "O-kay, so I may or may not have had trouble sleeping last night," you add, trying to further sell your reason. God, you're starting to feel like a desperate conman and you're not even trying to con him. You really are just exhausted.

        Shisui eyes your face carefully, trying to find a hint that you could possibly lying. You can practically hear the gears in his head shifting, and suddenly, his eyes widen in what you assume to be realization. You wonder what the hell he's thinking.

        Unexpectedly, Shisui activates his sharingan, and you immediately slap your hands on his face to cover his eyes.

        "Hey! Don't--" He tries to pry your hands away.

        "Oi! What did I tell you about looking at me with your sharingan?" You chide, distinctly remembering telling him years ago to not use them around you.

        "Kama!"

        The next thing you know, the two of you are playing a rough wrestling game of peek-a-boo, in which your goal is to not have Shisui peek at you with his sharingan.

        Sadly, you're spent for today, and Shisui is slowly gaining advantage over you.

        "Ack! I'm being possessed by a feral, rabies-infected raccoon!" You struggle desperately, now intending to run away as fast you can the moment he briefly lets go; Shunshin no Shisui be damned. "Better let go before I bite you! Munch! Munch!"

        "Did you really just say munch--" Shisui yelps when he felt you bite his wrist. "Agh! Gross!"

        "Warned ya!"

        By the time Shisui pins your arms down to the sides of your head, you're too weak to further struggle, and you just give up. What a nosy little shit, you think as you glare at the swirling pattern of Shisui's dojutsu.

        The thing about the sharingan is that it helps the user identify an illusion by seeing one's chakra flow. Another thing is that it also helps the user see what the illusion is covering up-- to see what's really there.

        In this case, you're guessing Shisui can now see your eyebags so dark that you might as well have really been possessed by a raccoon.

        "Drop the genjutsu," he demands, and you comply. There really isn't a point to it as long as Shisui has his sharingan on.

        With your illusion gone, you probably look more disheveled than usual; your white shirt no longer glowing as pristine as you'd like to show to people, and your eyes being sunken and just plain tired.

        (You ignore the fact that you can feel your face reddening from your compromising position.)

        "What gave me away?" You sigh, looking away from his scanning eyes, and you feel so naked without your genjutsu. Man, you can only tolerate vulnerability when it's happening to other people.

        "The skin under your eyes looks too unblemished for you to be sleep-deprived," you know he can see the scars on your hands but he doesn't comment on it. "How long have you been using genjutsu to cover that up?"

        "A while," you vaguely say.

        "Kama," he warns, his red eyes narrowing.

        "... Years." You finally admit. "It's fine, I train at night hard enough to pass out, so I get six hours of dreamless sleep,"

        "You have nightmares," he deduces, finally getting off of you and deactivating his sharingan.

        "Not with my train-til-I-pass regime, I don't," you smirk, sitting up. "Really, I'm used to it. Today's just an exception because sensei happened to be pettier than usual,"

        "Sleep with me," Shisui suddenly says, and your mind blanks.

        "Keh?"

        "I mean it. Have a sleepover with me so, I can put you in a genjutsu to have you sleep without overextending your body,"

        You can't wait to introduce him to Icha-Icha and have him look back to this memory, then use it as blackmail material.

        "Okay," you accept. "... So, does this mean we don't have to go to the hospital?"

        Shisui only rolls his eyes.

        (The first time Shisui lulls you with his genjutsu, you've never felt so well-rested in this life.)

~*~*~

        You don't think Inoichi really despises your jabs. He probably already knows that you're just trying to get a rise out of him.

        Tis an equivalent exchange: you get to mock him, and he gets to be sadistic with his punishments.

        You like to think he's growing fond of your teasings, and your overall asshole-ish personality. The Inuzuka dinner also played a part on Inoichi lowering his walls, and team dinners became a norm at every end of the week.

         (You think he's afraid. Of what? You don't know.)

         Besides, even if he isn't amused with your sense of humor, at least you're providing him tell-worthy stories for his Shika-Cho teammates.

         You hope they find it funny.

~*~*~

        Inoichi tells you that Team 4 will finally have their first C-rank.

        "My name is Hagane Haruto, and I'm your client for this mission." The lean, middle-aged blacksmith introduces himself.

        What a basic name for a basic face, you couldn't help but think. Even still, you don't bother to remember his name.

~*~*~

        You should've known that Team 4's first C-rank is going to be a disaster.

        Picture this: your simple C-rank mission is to just escort a well-renowned blacksmith to the Land of Rivers. You don't have to cross any enemy territories nor does the client supposed to have any high-ranking shinobi as enemies. It's supposed to be safe journey that any genin worth their salt can handle.

        Now, here's the plot twist: a bunch of Kiri-nin are targeting your client, because apparently, the blacksmith has an ancestor with a reputation within the underground shinobi world. What is this blacksmith's ancestor famous for? One might ask. Well...

        The client's grandpa has the blueprint for one of Kirigakure's Seven Swords.

        And the client has it as a heirloom.

        Absolutely wild. Crazy. Who could've fucking guessed? Not you, definitely. What's wilder? Not the client either.

        Stupid fuck didn't know the worth of his heirloom until today for whatever reason.

        Whether the Kiri shinobi want him dead or alive is still up for debate, though.

        Luckily, Inoichi is a sensor who saw the Kiri shinobi coming, before they even arrived. There are four of them--two jounin and two chuunin level-- he tells your team. Obviously, a bunch of genin are outmatched; so, Inoichi will try to lead the enemy team away from the client, and-- hah, yeah, you guessed it. Inoichi split up from your team.

        So now, Team 4 has to reroute away from the dirt road and keep a low profile until Inoichi finds you again. Even if you run towards the intended destination, it's not like the client can keep up, and there's no way in hell a bunch of kids would carry him for the entire journey.

        Besides, Hana and her ninken are making sure to cover your tracks by putting around fake leads and false trails.

        With your team traveling in an arrow position, you're placed in front of the group with Iruka just behind you. Hana is placed at the back, with the Haimaru Brothers flanking the sides for extra security. And honestly against all common sense, the client is at the middle even if your team is no longer obligated to protect him.

        "It's been a while," Iruka says worriedly, and he's right. The last time you all saw Inoichi was sometime before noon. It's already the afternoon and it would only take a couple of hours for the sun to set soon.

        "This mission is beyond our rank," you think aloud, your tone neutral despite the small smile fixed on your lips. "Usually, in these scenarios, we are to promptly return to Konoha and abandon the mission, and if necessary, the client." You expertly ignore the client's subtle gulp.

        This supposed C-rank mission is outside of your team's capabilities, which means the village shouldn't give you shit for abandoning it.

        Unfortunately, Iruka is pathetically empathetic and insisted on helping the client because "it's the right thing to do" and that the client "didn't know"; Inoichi is swayed because the client is rich enough to compensate. Fuck Iruka's righteousness and the client's money. Now it's possibly costing your team its jounin.

        "Yeah, but the Kiri shinobi happened to come from our village's direction," Hana says. "Not like we're suicidal enough to meet them halfway."

        Doubly unfortunately, like Hana mentioned, even if you abandoned the client, the enemy team is coming from the village's direction, and with how they pinpointed on your team, it's natural to think they'd possibly have a sensor on their side. There's a risk of crossing paths with them if your team were to return where you came from, and Kiri shinobi aren't exactly known to be peaceful diplomats.

        "What if sensei--" Iruka pauses and doesn't continue.

        Suddenly alert, Hana looks at his direction to see what happened.

        "Iruka--" Hana calls out, and she pauses too.

        You look around, and you notice everyone has a hazy look in their eyes-- including the three ninken.

        The next thing you know, something is trying to subtly invade your chakra pathway system, and you subconsciously dispel it with a brief chakra flare.

        Genjutsu, you think, sharingan-based but not strong enough to be Mangekyou.

        "I wouldn't have expected any less from an Uchiha," a baritone voice says. When you look past the dark shade underneath the Land of Fire's trees, you see a masked Uchiha Obito approaching your team.

        Oh, you think, fuck me, I guess.

        "Orange mask and wild hair. You must be the masked man that killed one of my brother's teammates," you say your observations aloud, your voice carefully neutral. "Fancy seeing you out here, now of all times."

        Definitely not a coincidence.

        (Hana, Iruka and Inoichi aren't supposed to be in this much danger, and you no longer feel reassuringly in control.)

        "What do you want?" You ask him.

        "Your client dead and his heirloom stolen," he answers straightforwardly, not looking away from you nor even addressing the fact that Itachi told you about him. If you look closely, you could see the faint red glow of the sharingan from his mask's single eyehole.

        "Then kill him and take it from his corpse," you deadpan nonchalantly, even making a show of stepping aside to give him better access to the client.

        "... You don't plan to try and stop me," you have a feeling Obito said that as a statement, but it came out more as a doubtful question.

        "This mission is a B-rank at best and low S-rank at worst," you say as a matter of fact. "It's outside a genin team's skill level, and frankly, I'm not willing to gamble my teammates' lives over it,"

        "Your village will scorn your decision." He says.

        "Mhm, and I don't give a shit," you shrug, and because you're a piece of shit, you add, "They'll think I'm scum for abandoning my mission, but I think I'd be worse than scum if I abandon my friends,"

        Had your sharingan been on, you would've seen the way he stiffened at your quote that was eerily close to what a memory of a boy once said.

        "Are you aware of the White Fang's history?" He asks, and you know he's intrigued by you now.

        "Yes,"

        "Then you are aware where that way of thinking could lead you,"

        "Yes."

        "You're a fool."

        You smile. It is a bland thing.

        "In some way, we all are. The world is diverse and complicated like that."

        "It doesn't have to be." He contends.

        "Oooh!~ Sounds ambitious," you grin, all-teeth, and it is a sharp thing. "Lemme ask you something: do you think the world cares about what you feel?"

        "No." He answers with certainty.

        "Haha, right?! That's why you're not a fool," your grin is sharp, your tongue sharper. "You're a madman who could only dream of a world that would bend for you if you throw a little tantrum,"

        Obito catches the knowing glint in your eyes, and his posture basically hackles on what you could possibly imply with your word choice. However, you see the moment his rationale catches up to him, and he thinks that a child such as yourself-- no matter how prodigious-- would have no way of knowing his history and plans.

        He calms down.

        "It's unfortunate that you do not see it my way," he says ominously. "Perhaps a similar experience to mine would have you reconsider."

        Your sharingan activates the split-second Obito moves, and your eyes catch the particular sheen of the enemy's kunai when he aims for--

        Oh shit, you think, already moving with a body flicker.

        The last thing you see is Iruka's look of confusion-realization-horror, when you roughly push him away to take the blade for him.

        (Obito did not expect you to be fast enough.)

        Red blooms on white fabric, and a teenager screams.

~*~*~

BONUS:

Kama (being weird):

Inoichi (fascinated): I want to study you.

...

Fugaku: Don't you have an ounce of self-respect?

Kama: the only pride I have is the pride flag.

...

Other people (being emotionally vulnerable):

Kama: ew we dont do that here

Also Kama (becomes emotionally vulnerable):

Kama: nevermind, other people can be emotionally vulnerable as long as it's not me

...

Kama: You see, tomato in botany is a fruit.

Hana: So if I hand you a tomato, I'd be looking at two fruits.

Kama: Three, if I'm holding up a mirror on my other hand.

...

Shisui (looking at Kama): I can fix you.

...

*Hana and Kama scuffling in the background*

Iruka (in genuine panic): Inoichi-sensei, the gays are fighting!

Inoichi (a tired dad): please don't phrase it like that--

...

Kama (being an asshole):

Itachi, Hana, Shisui, and Iruka (convinced that he's their therapist): He is our emotional support asshole.

...

ugh longest chapter yet and im cutting it in half. The omake is on the second half of this chapter since both are considered as ONE chapter. I figured that it's starting to get too long and it's been a while since I've last updated

lmao my homeboy kama outing hana in front of everyone like that asashdksh guys don't unexpectedly out your gay friends to their fams; it's an asshole move. kama just did that because he really is an asshole lmao

note that omakes dont happen in chronological order; sometimes they're set in the past, sometimes in the future. Btw, I decided to make the chapters 13 (including prologue) overall sjjdhasaklj BUT thats mainly because I'd imagine you guys would want an epilogue and two interludes-- both for Kama and other characters' updated POV of him. but uh, i might consider 14 chapters overall because i want more scenes with team 4 and shisui ajsdhkjhf

also i had a nightmare where i accidentally published all this story's unfinished drafts lmao the stress my subconscious gave me was UNNECESSARY 

Now, the question of the day is: what do you think was kama's lie in his introduction?